Anyone here that can honestly say they've never cheated?

[RecentChange]

Nope, I am not in the no cheater club.

 

When I was young, I did some multi dating, some monkey branching, but didn't cheat on my "serious" boyfriend.

 

And then I got together with my now husband. He cheated on me after 9 years together. It sucked, it was a hard thing emotionally to grapple with, but I am pretty damn sure I wouldn't want to take a bullet or a shanking instead. I don't know - maybe being shot isn't that bad, but as an observer, it looks pretty crappy.

 

And after 14 faithful years I cheated on him (it's not a secret on here). I am not proud of it, I am aware of it every single day (I know he is as well). I have worked hard to make things right even though I know what is done can never be undone.

 

Perhaps it's because I never hated him for his cheating. Because I understood why it happened. That I know we are all far from infallible.

 

I accept my Scarlet letter.

Edited May 17, 2017 by RecentChange

[BaileyB]

Never even considered it.

[Titanll]

I get ya. If someone were to tell me that they don't think in their mind, "Man that person is hot." simply because they were in a relationship or married, though, I wouldn't believe them. And also, just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you don't at least wonder if someone could be a potential partner. Maybe you don't consciously think it, but unconsciously I'm sure you do. That's just how we are as a species. We notice people and we just say to ourselves, "That person is awesome therefore anyone who gets to have them is incredibly lucky." Maybe you don't think that about yourself, but you definitely do think that that person is awesome and admirable. And who wouldn't want to be with someone awesome and admirable?

 

Well for one, I am with someone awesome and admirable. Not saying that you aren't but if you aren't, then either find that person or continue dreaming about someone that is.

 

Your statements may apply to you and even most people of this planet but they don't apply to me. I'm the same species but we obviously see things differently. I take folks at face value and whether you believe me or not has no bearing on the truth. You hear something that isn't true for you, therefore anyone that doesn't fit to your truth is being dishonest. I would rather believe that people can think for themselves and they may have things that are true for them and not for me.

 

I think my mother was awesome and my dad was incredibly lucky to have her but she's not for me haha!

 

I'm not even sure what an unconscious thought is. I assume you mean subconscious thought. You certainly can't know my conscious thoughts so I have no concept of you knowing my subconscious thoughts.

 

I have heard this garbage many times about, "well, just because I'm married/in a relationship, it doesn't mean I'm dead! I can still look." Every person that I heard that from is now divorced...a couple have been through two or three marriages.

 

For me, it's always been simple. I don't waste one second on a relationship that isn't perfect for us both. When I'm in the perfect relationship, I desire no one else and I don't wonder if some attractive person could be a potential partner.

[IYamWhatIYam]

I've never cheated. It's dishonest. Period.

 

The research I've seen indicate that 40% of married people have cheated at least once.

 

I've had friends who have bragged about cheating on their wives, including one who gave me way too much detail about all of them, including significant detail about someone we both knew, and who we both knew had serious psychological problems. He got to be such a pest that I cut him off.

 

Someone who brags about this makes me lose respect for them. At the very least.

 

Not only were they dishonest, but they were bragging about it.

 

... Then there's the guys who brag about sleeping with prostitutes. Yech.

That is one that I have never even begun to figure out.

[GoodOnPaper]

Have never cheated but . . . I've never had an opportunity to, either. So does it really mean much? I was lousy at attracting women when I was single, and getting married hasn't altered that.

[purplesorrow]

Never have.

[anduina]

Haven't cheated and hope to never make that mistake or be so cruel by deliberately doing so.

[Shanex]

Never ever cheated while in a relationship, monogamy and the fact that my exes never withholds sex from me hence had no reasons to.

 

Even when I am single and dating, I don't multidate. One woman is enough trouble, so why have multiple of them?

[No_Go]

Never did, never will.

 

I'm very strict on myself and when in a relationship don't even allow myself to flirt. When I date, I don't multi-date. I don't meet up a new person before rejecting the previous one even if it was just a date or two.

 

I hate when people justify cheating: 'oh but we were just casual', oh the relationship was on the rocks'. These are not excuses - at least man up and tell your partner you're not interested in being exclusive with them and let them decide.

[Shining One]

While I have been an (unintentional) cheating partner, I've never cheated myself.

[somanymistakes]

I hate when people justify cheating: 'oh but we were just casual', oh the relationship was on the rocks'. These are not excuses - at least man up and tell your partner you're not interested in being exclusive with them and let them decide.

 

I actually did tell my ex I wanted to see other people and that we weren't exclusive anymore before I slept with someone else. He apparently thought I was kidding. Oops.

 

In retrospect I still count it as cheating on my part, because I didn't tell him when I actually went out and found someone else. I justified it to myself that I'd already told him my intentions and rubbing it in his face would be drama for no reason, but that was just taking the easy way out. And of course it blew up in my face eventually, and everyone involved felt terrible, and that was my fault.

[Bastile]

I can actually say that I never cheated.

 

I have a certain reverence for exclusive ltr's, because of the way I was brought up.

 

I tried them over and over again, trying to fit myself into the paradigm of other people's expectations.

 

And yes, I have spun plates in a big way. I do so honestly. I never tell anyone that we are exclusive when we aren't. I'm not a cad.

 

"Cheating" is playing by other people's rules. It's mental slavery.

 

Cheaters need to have a good think about what is going on in their lives, I think. They are often simply people that are compromising.

[SammySammy]

I don't think anyone knows how they will respond to cheating until after you've done it.

 

I have never cheated on a significant other. Girlfriend, fiancee, or wife.

 

Being lied to by a married woman led to me being involved in an affair. That situation changed my perspective of "cheating". It's easy to be sanctimonious when you haven't been there. Easy to say you would do the "right" thing. Things can be quite different when you cross that bridge though.

 

I'm not so judgmental of others now.

 

And not so cocksure of myself.

 

You never know ....

[Popsicle]

If statistics (which I believe) say that roughly half of the population cheats, that leaves the other half that doesn't.

 

And people who have cheated or have been cheated on tend to believe that everyone cheats but it's not true.

[Art_Critic]

**Waves Hand**

 

Never cheated on any GF, Wife or ExWife...

Wouldn't either...

 

I grew up in a household where my Father was a serial cheater to both my Mom and Step Mom so I have seen the destruction that infidelity can and will create, I also was impacted as a child of a known cheater.. my ears were also filled with lies like my Mom's and Step Mom's ear were...

 

I have multi-dated in my 20's but gave that up as I'm a one woman kinda guy and found dating multiple people too much like cheating.. IMO any relationship that takes away from another is a form of cheating.. even if it is you who you are cheating yourself out of a good relationship.

[wmacbride]

I hate to say it but it's rare to find people who haven't cheated at least once it seems...I hate it. I've never once cheated in my life and never will no matter how tempting the situation is. Just not worth it. I'm the kind of guy that can't hold in his guilt.

 

If I were to have cheated I would immediately admit it to my gf/wife so she can properly decide what to do from there. She could either forgive me or move on (which I wouldn't blame her if she did move on). No one deserves that kind of disrespect in their life.

 

I will admit, though, that I have helped someone cheat and the person she cheated on was one of my best friends. I ended up telling him and we're still friends to this day. That's all I've done, though. I won't lie though I have been very close...I was in a LDR and my brother said, "Dude she lives in another country. I would just do it if I were you." He's my brother and I lookup to him so I figured if he says it then perhaps he has a point and he's right...stupid, right? *smfh*

 

I never have.

It doesn't make me any better than anyone else. It's just the way my mind works. When I am with someone, it's as if the part of me that notices members of the opposite sex gets sort of shut off, and I don't really "see" other men. ( I know that sounds weird).

[Gillys]

Ive never cheated.

 

My dad cheated on my mom when I was younger and I saw how much damage breaking trust can do. I will never cheat nor be "the other woman".

[Shining One]

Stats say that roughly half the population cheats, yet everyone here claims they have never done it

To be fair, the thread is specifically asking for people who have never cheated. I think a poll on "Have You Ever Cheated" might yield results closer to what you expect.

[O'Malley]

I've never done it, in part because my father cheated in every relationship he ever had and the repercussions left a major impression on me as a child.

 

But yes, I've known of friends and acquaintances who cheated for a variety of reasons - validation, revenge for a partner's infidelity - and while it's not the healthiest action to take, in a few cases I've understood the motivations behind it.

[RedBaron2765]

Depends on how you define cheating. When wife and I had been together about a month (dating, not married), she was out of town visiting her family. Horny and crazy ex-GF called me, and after we were on the phone a bit with some phone sex, she drove down to my house during the night. Ended up having sex with her multiple times that night and next morning, but felt terrible and told her that she had to leave. She went postal on me, and even contacted me a couple of weeks later to say she'd be in town, but never saw her again.

[Gaeta]

I am 51 and I have never cheated in my life. Even when my ex cheated on me and we decided to split I waited to be completely moved out of the house before considering myself single.

[Titanll]

I don't think anyone knows how they will respond to cheating until after you've done it.

 

 

That's like saying that you don't know how you will respond to a suicide attempt until after you've done it.

 

I ain't doing either.

[Titanll]

Depends on how you define cheating. When wife and I had been together about a month (dating, not married), she was out of town visiting her family. Horny and crazy ex-GF called me, and after we were on the phone a bit with some phone sex, she drove down to my house during the night. Ended up having sex with her multiple times that night and next morning, but felt terrible and told her that she had to leave. She went postal on me, and even contacted me a couple of weeks later to say she'd be in town, but never saw her again.

 

Haha! Seems a rather text book definition of cheating.

[vickyp]

Never cheated. Just not my thing

[littleblackheart]

Never mind the betrayal of trust; it's the lying consistently to someone's face that I couldn't sustain, especially someone you are meant to respect and care about.

 

My divorce was a gruesome experience with my ex husband -

who did cheat - dragging his feet out of spite for leaving him. It took us forever to go through the process but I only considered myself fully single once I got the decree absolute.

 

I also know a fantastically happy couple whose relationship started off as an affair, and I know a few people in my social circle who cheated on their partners. It's not ideal, but no one's perfect.

Edited May 18, 2017 by littleblackheart