My fiancé broke up with me 3 months before our wedding. [UPDATED]

[Purepony]

It happens people get cold feet I have a friend who's been with his gf 5 years they just put a deposit on a venue and 1500 down on a dress and guess what ?! The weddings in about 45 days.. I've been hearing about this wedding for almost a year and now she has cold feet, is disappearing, and wont even talk to him

 

It seems it's becoming more n more common. Now he's crapped out and she's living day to day.. I'm waiting for it to blow up any moment

 

Your ex is calculating , I'd say smart but he mest up letting you go....

 

If you still think he's your destiny I'd suggest some counseling and maybe a vacation to keep you sane

 

I'm sure you can do a lot better than some wimp who can't even take control of his destiny and make decisions for himself.

[Tiga]

Thanks guys,

 

Yea I still do feel and know they were the real issue. I reacted like that because I saw what they were doing, he did not. Yes I wish I didint say that but it is what it is. I can't take it back. Plus I think 99% of people would have told him/done the same thing. Said that we would be over with if he doesn't come to the wedding.

 

I mean wht else was I going to do? Its not like it was a major reason they did not want to come, they made a petty exuse up. How they were uncomfortable and felt insulted by my parents. It didint make sense, my parents had a great convo with them that night. Plus my parents even reached out to resolve any issues even if they weren't at fault. They were the stuck up ones, they wanted to crush my dreams. They wanted it so bad even if their son paid a price.

 

That is what narcissistic people do. Only want to have control over people. Well to ****ing bad, they were not going to control me. Their son lost the beat thing he ever had, I am far from perfect but my beart is pure. I am beautiful inside and out. We all get mad and angry but I never insulted my ex by calling him names or telling him FU. NEVER! Even when he did this! The worst thing I said after he broke it off and later called me a bitch because I askes for my share kf the home, I called him a mf bastard and the devil. That was it! And it was the first time he insulted me by calling me a bitch in 6 years. He took it back shortly aftet a d broke down saying he doesn't know how we got here.

 

 

ITS because OF HIS EVIL PARENTS THAT FILLED HIS BEAD AND HE GOT ANGRY AND MONEY IS WHERE IT PAINS HIM.

 

He will be back, and when he does I will update you all. He won't find another me.

 

Thank you all for reading my venting and trying to help.

[Tiga]

No ur not out of ur mind Tiga, usually our feelings are right.

 

The things uve seen and heard since the break up are painting a picture.

 

I've been married and like u it was small cost less than 5 grand back in 2003 we had about 90 people and honestly it was one o the best days I've ever experienced it's all about u guys it was magic. We had black and white photography done 35 bux a head and a great venue.

 

Our honeymoon was in the Maldives and Singapore. Magical experience the runway is right in the middle of the Indian Ocean landing on a thin strip in the ocean Google it it freaked me out as we exited the plane I cld hear the waves crashing. We stayed in a bungalow over beautiful crystal clear waters for 7 nights. I remember seeing flying fish at night and feeding these beautiful tropical fish. We didn't work out unfortunately but the wedding and that always stays as happy memories I loved being married. Ur time will come to shine im positive of it.

 

Omg that sounds beautiful! I actually was talking with a friend how I would wanna go take a trip to maldives. It looks so beautiful.

[Goodguy05]

Omg that sounds beautiful! I actually was talking with a friend how I would wanna go take a trip to maldives. It looks so beautiful.

 

It's wonderful Tiga.

 

Ull love it

[Tiga]

I just want to vent a little..

 

 

I am stil confused and trying to ask god why this happened. At times I tell myself everything happens for a reason and whats meant for me won't miss me. But then at times I get so down, like today, I just cry, I ask why and how could someone do what he did. Leave a girl you were gonna marry in a city she came to because of you and after all we have been through? He loved me but he loved his family more. How can you leave someone you love because of family? Am I not respecting my family enough by not listening to their opinions and following my heart?

 

Am I selfish for wanting to live my life the way I want to and be who I want to be with? Is that wrong? Maybe I am wrong. I listen to their advice but if I disagree, I disagree. I do what I want.

 

How come he cant do that? Its like a cult, he cant let them down, He cant disappoint them, its like he is scared of them. I am not some druggie or a criminal, I am a good girl, why am I enough to them. To him I am but not to his mom.

 

I just don't understand, we have been through so much, he did this out of the blue, he didint even communicate with me about it he rushed in and said it, its out of his character. He always talked about things, he never makes impulsive decisions. Its like he told himself I will just do it and thats it. It bothers me so much. I am sad because we had a great thing, they tore our little family apart. I miss my dog so much. I know I gotta keep pushing but at times I feel like I have no purpose. We had everything planned I saw a future with my husband, best friend, dog, kids, a happy hime. It all shattered in a split second.

[Purepony]

Can't do much in this position crying doesn't help you try to find a hobby or something to keep your mind occupied and still fresh in your mind

 

I feel like you keep blaming the parents because they give you someone to blame but the truth of the matter is if he really wanted to he would mail the parents out to be with you you're forgetting that he is the one who made this decision regardless of the employees he is the one driving the force not the parents

 

Take it one day at a time and try to focus on you. I'm in a similar position and I'm done questioning things r looking for answers I'll probably never find...

 

Go do you!

Take a vacation or enjoy the sf weather .. hell I was thinking of going to sf the next two days

 

I'm sorry for the pain and madness but I promise it will pass

[Tiga]

Today,

 

My mind would not stop running and thinking. I couldnt fall asleep. It felt like the first week this weekend. I couldnt stop thinking. I kept replaying the scenarios and the words he said to me.

 

Bu I also started to analyze his actions and words from a different point of view. I am slowly realizing how catstrophic it was. What a terrible thing he did. He threw our entire relationship away like it was worth nothing and did not even take into consideration my sacrifices. He was selfish, he someohow saw me, an innocent party in this, as the enemy.

 

His parents are evil but he is a bigger ******* for what he did. A man child, thats what he is. A big 34 year old baby. His parents had no real reason not to come to the wedding. It was so unfair to me. Who is he and his prents to play with someones life like that?

 

They played with my life.

 

 

I am so upset, he is such a terrible person. You dont do **** like that to someone you love/loved.

 

He lost his marbles.

 

I am still hurting though, but slowly healing.

 

As long as my wheel is turning I know I will make it, it doesn't matter how slow it's turning.

[Gr8fuln2020]

Tiga. Sorry you are going through this. I don't know the story of your fiance, but try not to demonize him. Demonizing people sows seeds of bitterness and could make your recovery time longer than it has to be.

 

What kind of hold does his parents have on him? He was willing to marry you by eloping. It seems to me that he isn't adverse to marrying you.

[Tiga]

Just wanted to vent a little..

 

 

I have been doing ok. Have some ok days, some bad ones and etc. I don't break down as often and as long. I try to change my train of thought. Going NC is benefiting me, I don't feel as drained and I am starting to see the big picture as well as get a clear view of the severity of his actions.

 

I am starting to see that what he did was really horrible, that he is an ******* and that he has no heart or conscious. If you truly love someone you don't leave them after 6 years and 3 months before your wedding.

 

 

I am starting to feel disgusted by him and his actions. The type of person he has become disgusts me. I still get a few weak moments but switch to being positive and I start thinking logically. There is no reason for me to ever forgive him or hope we get back together. For what? I ask myself. He showed me who he really was and why would I want to be with someone that walked away from our relationship without even trying at the end. A cold heartless monster, thats who he is.

 

It scares me, how can I trust another person? After him being so great to me for 6 years and switched on me in a day? How can I trust someone again? People say you will and it will take time... but how much time does a person need to know and trust a person... if 6 years did not do it and he switched on me how can I even hope the next person I date for a year or two or whatever wont do the same?

 

I am disappointed in love. It seems like in todays world love is no longer the right term to use. Not many people understand or know what love is.

[marky00]

I took my Ex to the Maldives in 2016.

 

 

And to make things clear, she was my ex when went there. We were both single after breaking up in 2015 and re-connected even though I knew deep down it wasn't a good idea, our 10 year history drove me to trying it.

 

 

It was a freaking amazing place.... shame the company wasn't so perfect We stayed on an island in a house on stilts where the back steps took you right into the crystal clear blue water and the most insane snorkelling was only 10 metres away.

 

 

The colour was amazing, I was even seeing like 1 metre sharks only 20 metres from our accommodation. Also saw those jumping fish, was totally nuts.

 

 

Anyway, she always wanted to get to the Maldives, and she finally got there. 2 month later, she ghosted me and I haven't spoken to her for a year. She messages me once per month or so. Last message was last week asking me if I am married. I continued to ignore.

 

 

I digress......

[Goodguy05]

Just wanted to vent a little..

 

 

I have been doing ok. Have some ok days, some bad ones and etc. I don't break down as often and as long. I try to change my train of thought. Going NC is benefiting me, I don't feel as drained and I am starting to see the big picture as well as get a clear view of the severity of his actions.

 

I am starting to see that what he did was really horrible, that he is an ******* and that he has no heart or conscious. If you truly love someone you don't leave them after 6 years and 3 months before your wedding.

 

 

I am starting to feel disgusted by him and his actions. The type of person he has become disgusts me. I still get a few weak moments but switch to being positive and I start thinking logically. There is no reason for me to ever forgive him or hope we get back together. For what? I ask myself. He showed me who he really was and why would I want to be with someone that walked away from our relationship without even trying at the end. A cold heartless monster, thats who he is.

 

It scares me, how can I trust another person? After him being so great to me for 6 years and switched on me in a day? How can I trust someone again? People say you will and it will take time... but how much time does a person need to know and trust a person... if 6 years did not do it and he switched on me how can I even hope the next person I date for a year or two or whatever wont do the same?

 

I am disappointed in love. It seems like in todays world love is no longer the right term to use. Not many people understand or know what love is.

 

People like me n u Tiga have very big hearts. The reason we can't understand there actions is because we can't ever imagine doing wat they did to us to someone else let alone someone u love. That's the problem I have in my mind wen I think about how she switched. Btw my fortunes have changed her bf had left the company and gone to live overseas. So I can breathe easy for now. My worry is she hooks up wth this other dude at work. But for now at least I can relax

[Goodguy05]

I took my Ex to the Maldives in 2016.

 

 

And to make things clear, she was my ex when went there. We were both single after breaking up in 2015 and re-connected even though I knew deep down it wasn't a good idea, our 10 year history drove me to trying it.

 

 

It was a freaking amazing place.... shame the company wasn't so perfect We stayed on an island in a house on stilts where the back steps took you right into the crystal clear blue water and the most insane snorkelling was only 10 metres away.

 

 

The colour was amazing, I was even seeing like 1 metre sharks only 20 metres from our accommodation. Also saw those jumping fish, was totally nuts.

 

 

Anyway, she always wanted to get to the Maldives, and she finally got there. 2 month later, she ghosted me and I haven't spoken to her for a year. She messages me once per month or so. Last message was last week asking me if I am married. I continued to ignore.

 

 

I digress......

 

Wat did u think of the airport landing the strip of runway on the ocean. I loved it too...btw very weird behaviour from yr ex and by the sounds of it is keeping tabs on u not wanting to be wth u but not wanting u to move ahead either boy wat a weird one

[Tiga]

Hello guys,

 

I just wanted to give you an update if any of you are interested. I kept pushing through the bad days and focused on what I loved to do, gym and etc. I went to visit my family and went on vacation in the carribean. It was awesome. I prayed everyday for strenght, if I felt like crying I cried then picked myself up after.

 

All of a sudden I started seeing things differently, its like this this light shined on me. I stopped feeling the hurt, the pain, I realized this person was not worth me draining my self esteem and spirit. I realized I was so much better than him in comparison to morality as well as outside. I looked at apicture I disint delete and felt nothing that was related to love, kind of felt disgusted.

 

I also got in the best shape of my life, started taking classes to get my degree and started liking this one fuy at the gym. I used to see him all the time but was very closed and not allowing any emotions to come through other than the pain I felt.

 

We will see where it will go, but I do have to admit I am a little unsure if I ever will love that deeply again or even want to give myself that much because to be honest I don't want to ever hurt like I did. That was the far worst pain I ever endured. I will never understand how someone can just flip the switch because of what his parents feel. Thats not human behavior.

 

Hope all of you are doing well! Please don't give up, your worst days will pass, and just keep moving forward. I still have a long way to go but the worst part is behind me, thank god.

 

Any advice on what I should do with this guy at the gym I like. I feel like he likes me because he always comes to work out next to me and goes to the water fountain when I do. We made eye contact before and he smiled, I really like him I feel some type of energy exchange but im not the type of girl that goes up to guys and never have I dated someone from the gym.

 

I feel like a teenager because I get a few butterflies lol. Idk what it is I can't explain it. I feel like he maybe feels intimidated by me, I work hard in the gym but also am a very sttractive female (not conceited every guy has told me this) and I always have a straight face, I look serious all the time. I have to smile more.

 

Thanks guys <3

[Frostedflake]

Ahh, that's awesome! It's always good to hear a success story.

 

As for the the guy at the gym:

The smart ones won't approach women. 1) People don't wear their rings at the gym. She could be married. 2) It looks a lot like harassment. "I just came here to workout. Seriously?!"

 

So I have to say, if you really want to talk to this guy- talk. to. him.

Strike the conversation. Or at least open up your posture (that means a direct look and not through reflective surfaces/mirrors) and give him a smile and have one earbud out/be adjusting so he knows you're not blasting him out. That'll be cue enough.

[Tiga]

For anyone who has read my story, knows that what happened to me was out of the blue and a stab to the heart. Anyway,

 

I have been doing well, but last few days/ two weeks I have been dreaming of my ex non stop. I am not even thinking about him as often as I used to but the dreams are so vivid and so emotional. I hurt in my dreams but when I wake up I feel groggy and refreshed at the same time. Like the awful feeling dissipates after I wake up, although the residue of it is still there.

 

I dreamt of the actual break up, the way he told me "we are not meant to be together" and his coldness. I felt the same pain in my dream that I felt that day, I was crying I was so hurt. I woke myself up in sweat from the crying and mourning I was doing in my dream. I over heard myself. It was painful and a relief to wake up from it, although it did actually happen.

 

Also I dreamt about how he is sharing his love feelings for me but that he can't go against his "family". As well as how he invited me somewhere to give him a cord or something and when I showed up another female showed up as well, not necessary his gf but maybe a girl he was talking to. I left when I saw her. I have noticed when I wake up from these dreams I wake up kind of in a "f him" mood. I don't sit there and cry, I yell out "f him" and he is a "piece of s". It is weird, when I wake up I have no feelings of love, especially because in my dream I felt like crap. My emotions got the best of me and I was really in pain, my heart was aching in my dreams.

 

I have dreamt about him probably 5-6 times in the last 10 days. It is weird that I am just now dreaming on him, It has been 6 months NC. I feel ok, I don't cry anymore, I am moving on and have came to the realization that I will never be with him again bc of what he did.

 

My question to you all is what are these dreams? Is it my sub consciousness releasing this energy and I am actually moving on as some suggest? Is it showing me that I still have a lot of moving on to do? What are your opinions and experiences? Please share. Thank you very much for responding.

 

Much love and healing from heartbreak/health issues to you all.

Edited September 14, 2017 by Tiga

[Goodguy05]

For anyone who has read my story, knows that what happened to me was out of the blue and a stab to the heart. Anyway,

 

I have been doing well, but last few days/ two weeks I have been dreaming of my ex non stop. I am not even thinking about him as often as I used to but the dreams are so vivid and so emotional. I hurt in my dreams but when I wake up I feel groggy and refreshed at the same time. Like the awful feeling dissipates after I wake up, although the residue of it is still there.

 

I dreamt of the actual break up, the way he told me "we are not meant to be together" and his coldness. I felt the same pain in my dream that I felt that day, I was crying I was so hurt. I woke myself up in sweat from the crying and mourning I was doing in my dream. I over heard myself. It was painful and a relief to wake up from it, although it did actually happen.

 

Also I dreamt about how he is sharing his love feelings for me but that he can't go against his "family". As well as how he invited me somewhere to give him a cord or something and when I showed up another female showed up as well, not necessary his gf but maybe a girl he was talking to. I left when I saw her. I have noticed when I wake up from these dreams I wake up kind of in a "f him" mood. I don't sit there and cry, I yell out "f him" and he is a "piece of s". It is weird, when I wake up I have no feelings of love, especially because in my dream I felt like crap. My emotions got the best of me and I was really in pain, my heart was aching in my dreams.

 

I have dreamt about him probably 5-6 times in the last 10 days. It is weird that I am just now dreaming on him, It has been 6 months NC. I feel ok, I don't cry anymore, I am moving on and have came to the realization that I will never be with him again bc of what he did.

 

My question to you all is what are these dreams? Is it my sub consciousness releasing this energy and I am actually moving on as some suggest? Is it showing me that I still have a lot of moving on to do? What are your opinions and experiences? Please share. Thank you very much for responding.

 

Much love and healing from heartbreak/health issues to you all.

 

 

Your dreams are helping u learn what went wrong it's kind a like working out the puzzle of the break up. Also the dreams are also trying to work out what happened and why . Kinda of a double edged sword

[toomanyquestions123]

For anyone who has read my story, knows that what happened to me was out of the blue and a stab to the heart. Anyway,

 

I have been doing well, but last few days/ two weeks I have been dreaming of my ex non stop. I am not even thinking about him as often as I used to but the dreams are so vivid and so emotional. I hurt in my dreams but when I wake up I feel groggy and refreshed at the same time. Like the awful feeling dissipates after I wake up, although the residue of it is still there.

 

I dreamt of the actual break up, the way he told me "we are not meant to be together" and his coldness. I felt the same pain in my dream that I felt that day, I was crying I was so hurt. I woke myself up in sweat from the crying and mourning I was doing in my dream. I over heard myself. It was painful and a relief to wake up from it, although it did actually happen.

 

Also I dreamt about how he is sharing his love feelings for me but that he can't go against his "family". As well as how he invited me somewhere to give him a cord or something and when I showed up another female showed up as well, not necessary his gf but maybe a girl he was talking to. I left when I saw her. I have noticed when I wake up from these dreams I wake up kind of in a "f him" mood. I don't sit there and cry, I yell out "f him" and he is a "piece of s". It is weird, when I wake up I have no feelings of love, especially because in my dream I felt like crap. My emotions got the best of me and I was really in pain, my heart was aching in my dreams.

 

I have dreamt about him probably 5-6 times in the last 10 days. It is weird that I am just now dreaming on him, It has been 6 months NC. I feel ok, I don't cry anymore, I am moving on and have came to the realization that I will never be with him again bc of what he did.

 

My question to you all is what are these dreams? Is it my sub consciousness releasing this energy and I am actually moving on as some suggest? Is it showing me that I still have a lot of moving on to do? What are your opinions and experiences? Please share. Thank you very much for responding.

 

Much love and healing from heartbreak/health issues to you all.

 

Hey there, Your story is similar to mine in the depth of how much i didnt believe the behavior shift my ex-fiance showed. It has been 5 months NC till now, the first 2 months were horrible. But i did let myself mourn the relationship and let myself cry so i can start moving on. First 2 months i do not recall the pain left my heart. I was so deeply sad. I was sad all the time while doing my everyday tasks. I was just wondering what did I do wrong.

Then after, i reached the light at the end of the tunnel. I realized it was my ex-fiance's fault. He dumped me because he was a stingy ****. I started remembering stuff before the breakup & how he accused me that i treat him like an ATM... i never treated him like an ATM for god's sake. He never brought me a gift !!! i paid for a lot of expenses. He even told me when we were breaking up that i never returned him a getaway travel that he INVITED me to it.

 

I do have those dreams that you have, 2 days ago i had this dream where he finally texted me after 5 months NC & telling me he made the biggest mistake of his life. I think those dreams help me move on fast.

 

But in my real life and one month ago i met a wonderful man that treats me like a queen. Does not have those complexes my ex-fiance had. I think god never forgets anyone. I prayed a lot as well for god to help me go through this horrible pain.

 

Though i still think about my ex-fiance and his brutal break-up and it still makes me very sad but i got through the pain and i am moving forward.

 

I dont think i want my ex-fiance back, he is a heartless jerk with stinginess issues. Nahhh i dodged a bullet.

 

I hope my story helps in a way

 

As for the guy, did you go on a date with him?

[Tiga]

Hey there, Your story is similar to mine in the depth of how much i didnt believe the behavior shift my ex-fiance showed. It has been 5 months NC till now, the first 2 months were horrible. But i did let myself mourn the relationship and let myself cry so i can start moving on. First 2 months i do not recall the pain left my heart. I was so deeply sad. I was sad all the time while doing my everyday tasks. I was just wondering what did I do wrong.

Then after, i reached the light at the end of the tunnel. I realized it was my ex-fiance's fault. He dumped me because he was a stingy ****. I started remembering stuff before the breakup & how he accused me that i treat him like an ATM... i never treated him like an ATM for god's sake. He never brought me a gift !!! i paid for a lot of expenses. He even told me when we were breaking up that i never returned him a getaway travel that he INVITED me to it.

 

I do have those dreams that you have, 2 days ago i had this dream where he finally texted me after 5 months NC & telling me he made the biggest mistake of his life. I think those dreams help me move on fast.

 

But in my real life and one month ago i met a wonderful man that treats me like a queen. Does not have those complexes my ex-fiance had. I think god never forgets anyone. I prayed a lot as well for god to help me go through this horrible pain.

 

Though i still think about my ex-fiance and his brutal break-up and it still makes me very sad but i got through the pain and i am moving forward.

 

I dont think i want my ex-fiance back, he is a heartless jerk with stinginess issues. Nahhh i dodged a bullet.

 

I hope my story helps in a way

 

As for the guy, did you go on a date with him?

 

OMG I can so relate to your post..lol my ex also told me I was leaching him. SMH..his parents put that in his head. I spent wayyyy more money then him and he made more monthly, he never bought me expensive things lol and I paid for going out/dinners most of the time. Wow!

 

You know I read somewhere that people usually treat others the way they truly feel about themselves. Their actions/word towards others are a reflection of themselves. I think that might be accurate.

 

I am glad you met a man that treats you well.

 

I have not yet went on any dates or even started talking to anyone seriously. I am just focusing on myself. I am back in school, working, working out, hanging with friends from time to time, cooking, shopping and etc. Enjoying solitude.

 

Your story gives me hope, I hope it all turns out well for you and I hope you forget your ex completely. In time you will like we all will. TIME DOES ITS PLACE... one of my favorite quotes.

 

We are strong, we are made to overcome pain. I know what kind of pain you went through because I went through the same...the heart and soul were aching for a long time. I would cry in the car, at home and etc...but I told myself to just let it out and that one day it will go away....and it definitely did..I don't cry often..not everyday...maybe once in a few weeks but it's not long and I get back to my rational thinking. Memories are what bring pain but we just have to focus on the NOW. & the ****ty thing these ex's did, we tend to forget their horrible actions.

 

Anyway, keep us posted on how the new relationship is going...would love to hear about it.

Take care!

[toomanyquestions123]

OMG I can so relate to your post..lol my ex also told me I was leaching him. SMH..his parents put that in his head. I spent wayyyy more money then him and he made more monthly, he never bought me expensive things lol and I paid for going out/dinners most of the time. Wow!

 

You know I read somewhere that people usually treat others the way they truly feel about themselves. Their actions/word towards others are a reflection of themselves. I think that might be accurate.

 

I am glad you met a man that treats you well.

 

I have not yet went on any dates or even started talking to anyone seriously. I am just focusing on myself. I am back in school, working, working out, hanging with friends from time to time, cooking, shopping and etc. Enjoying solitude.

 

Your story gives me hope, I hope it all turns out well for you and I hope you forget your ex completely. In time you will like we all will. TIME DOES ITS PLACE... one of my favorite quotes.

 

We are strong, we are made to overcome pain. I know what kind of pain you went through because I went through the same...the heart and soul were aching for a long time. I would cry in the car, at home and etc...but I told myself to just let it out and that one day it will go away....and it definitely did..I don't cry often..not everyday...maybe once in a few weeks but it's not long and I get back to my rational thinking. Memories are what bring pain but we just have to focus on the NOW. & the ****ty thing these ex's did, we tend to forget their horrible actions.

 

Anyway, keep us posted on how the new relationship is going...would love to hear about it.

Take care!

 

 

 

I know as well the pain you went through, you treated him the best way possible & he treated you this way back. AND only 3 months before the wedding. What happened with you is clearly parents intervening but trust me if he was a man himself he would not let anyone interfere. Possibly he is not mature enough to solve his own probs.

 

I think you should give it a try and give ppl a chance and go out. If you really like this guy at the gym make a move and ask him out. DONT feel like you will never ever trust guys. TRUST me our ex-fiances are the ones with issues. NOT all guys are like them. I am sure i can trust a good guy again but now i am more censored to redflags haha i can sense them immediately & i will NOT ignore any anymore especially those ones that are related to money.

[Tiga]

Lately I have been thinking of what happened to me, what this person did to me. I haven't cried in a long time but I feel like deep inside the pain and confusion is still there.

 

I feel like something is missing, like I need to know how a person that I thought loved me could just ended the way he did and move on with his life. We were going to get married for god sakes, until his parents decided they did not want me as their daughter in law.

 

How could he make the decision to leave me the way he did? I feel like our relationship is over but feel like he will be back in my life idk 5, 10, 15 years from now to give me an explanation. If he has any human characteristics left in him, this will haunt him.

 

I don't love him anymore, but the catastrophic event 3 months before my wedding... that still hurts deep down. I feel kind of lost....like I don't know what to believe anymore in regards to love. He left me all alone in a unfamiliar city, with no family, placed a lot of pressure on me, I had to move out, left my dog who was like a child to me because he did not want to come to an agreement with me.

 

Am I wrong for feeling like this guy is a monster and not being able to understand what happened to him? He was not this person for the 6 years I have known him...how could he just act like this? Did he lose himself and his mind?

 

I cant help but wonder what the hell happened to him? What happened to my life?

 

His family is evil with no morals.

[Purepony]

You should look into some theraphy. It almost sounds like you are still searching for answers you might never find .

 

I can tell you’re hurt and I can almost feel some of your pain to your descriptions and your posts to really go look at things for what they are this is not your fault this was his situation I really believe you dodged a bullet and I think I’ve even said that before

 

Is it possible that may be losing control is what has affected you the most out of this?

[AT15]

I am so sorry. This healing will be a journey, not a sprint. Just know that, even though it feels like you're " unlovable ", you are so very lovable. Take all the time that you need.

[elaine567]

Love is not everlasting and it took me a while to realise that.

Things change, people change and what seems so perfect, so wonderful previously, can start looking a bit shabby, can lose its shine, can suddenly not be what we want it to be at all.

After 6 years it was make or break time, the relationship either transitioned into marriage and kids or it needed to be over to stop wasting anyone's time.

Family is very important and it sounds like his family had aspirations for him that you and your family did not meet.

You were not the "educated" woman that would elevate their son and his children's position in life, you were a cop and that wasn't nearly good enough for them, add to that the upheaval of moving and resulting arguments and disagreement which no doubt he relayed to them, then you became persona non grata.

Everything was fine when you were just another gf, it became awkward when they realised you were their future DIL

 

No-one really wants to fall out with their family, the fact his parents were not on board with the engagement/marriage would have dented his confidence and made him question whether he was doing the right thing and the fact you clashed over other things too, put the nail in the coffin.

Yes it was horrible that you had to move and uproot yourself to be ultimately rejected, but life is often like that.

I guess he was totally on board with everything until the last minute when he did a cost benefit analysis and decided marriage to you was not for him. The disadvantages outweighed the advantages.

The 7 year itch is also a real thing, and can be the death knell to a relationship too. I guess if he had been totally loved up with you nothing would have changed his mind, as it was, he fell out of love. and ended it before he signed up to something he didn't want.

He actually did you a favour.

Better he did that now than go ahead and end up resenting you forever.

 

This was never going to be happy families, you and your kids would never have been good enough for his parents and they would probably have worked against you all the way too.

You are much better out of that hell.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and carry on...

[Tiga]

I think you are right, maybe it is the loss of control that is still overwhelming as I felt like I had control of my relationship and we were in a good place.

 

I might look into therapy, but I have done a lot of therapy by watching videos, talking it out with family and friends and gym/meditation.

 

It was just a very hurtful event for me and when you don’t have a good explanation or understanding of what happened it leaves a person confused.

[Tiga]

Love is not everlasting and it took me a while to realise that.

Things change, people change and what seems so perfect, so wonderful previously, can start looking a bit shabby, can lose its shine, can suddenly not be what we want it to be at all.

After 6 years it was make or break time, the relationship either transitioned into marriage and kids or it needed to be over to stop wasting anyone's time.

Family is very important and it sounds like his family had aspirations for him that you and your family did not meet.

You were not the "educated" woman that would elevate their son and his children's position in life, you were a cop and that wasn't nearly good enough for them, add to that the upheaval of moving and resulting arguments and disagreement which no doubt he relayed to them, then you became persona non grata.

Everything was fine when you were just another gf, it became awkward when they realised you were their future DIL

 

No-one really wants to fall out with their family, the fact his parents were not on board with the engagement/marriage would have dented his confidence and made him question whether he was doing the right thing and the fact you clashed over other things too, put the nail in the coffin.

Yes it was horrible that you had to move and uproot yourself to be ultimately rejected, but life is often like that.

I guess he was totally on board with everything until the last minute when he did a cost benefit analysis and decided marriage to you was not for him. The disadvantages outweighed the advantages.

The 7 year itch is also a real thing, and can be the death knell to a relationship too. I guess if he had been totally loved up with you nothing would have changed his mind, as it was, he fell out of love. and ended it before he signed up to something he didn't want.

He actually did you a favour.

Better he did that now than go ahead and end up resenting you forever.

 

This was never going to be happy families, you and your kids would never have been good enough for his parents and they would probably have worked against you all the way too.

You are much better out of that hell.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and carry on...

 

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to write this post, it helped. You basically nailed the entire story. Thank you, it hurts, but if he was capable of doing that to me then he wasn’t the one.