Purepony Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 I cheated twice on the same person but the truth is... I wasn't sold on her and after almost 6 years I kept seeing things I didn't like more n more so I just gave up when I found someone who put more effort it. I did not handle things the right way but next time I should exit when I get to that stage or break things off earlier when I see red flags early on 1 Link to post Share on other sites
QuietDan Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 No one plans on having an affair. Just like when you are single and meet someone you really click well with. It just happens. I never thought I would ever have an affair and I literally hated people who I knew that had. Well, now I understand how that stuff happens and I fell in love (to me it really was love not just limerance) while married. You never see it coming and you suddenly realize there is this other person who fits into your life better than your spouse ever did and things get messy. Some do in fact intentionally seek to get involved with being in an affair. I did. Anger, resentment, bitterness, frustration, self pitty, pride, selfishness, fear, plus a few other selfish motivated reasons. A person can dream up all sorts of reasons to allow themselves to cheat. To justify the evil that they are involved with isn't wrong or that bad. The why not leave question is as involved and complicated as the relationship dynamics involved with thr two people involved. Why not dump the cheater after the affair is found out... Relationships are complicated at times. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MsDarling Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 For me, I cheated because I wasn't getting the time and attention I wanted from my boyfriend. I didn't want to break up because I love him so I cheated. The other guy gave me time and attention but I didn't love him. I don't think I would do it again, I would rather just end the relationship because I don't want to hurt anyone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 (edited) I am married and have been thinking about the idea of having an affair more and more. I could describe all the reasons why (is there ever justifications?) - but these days I am lonely for the passionate embrace of a woman. I want to see the passion in her - give it to her - and receive it back. I think some men are like this - its not about just us getting ourselves off. Not ego - or self esteem exactly - but appreciated and valued in a physical way. but then again - I have always had issues with just casual sex - so I dont see me being able to compartmentalize a second relationship as some seem to be able to do. I care about women I am intimate with too much. Edited May 24, 2017 by dichotomy 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cocorico Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Sex is THE primary "bargaining chip" that women use with men. It's the thing men most want from them, and women are typically ambivalent about it. In our house, it's cleaning the coffee machine. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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