oldshirt Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Right before I blocked her number, she told me that this is now war and that she is going to bring guys back to our new house and **** them in our bed. I logged into her laptop a couple of hours ago and saw that she was messaging both guys asking them to **** her. Then I checked again half an hour later (after taking photographic evidence, of course) and she had deleted one of the threads. This whole thing is ***n killing me, especially the fact that she is going to **** other guys in our bed She is not just a cheater or just a bad wife or just a common lier. She is actually evil. She is intentionally out to cause you pain and harm. She is an evil person and will bring you harm and pain and anguish if you relent and allow her into your life in any capacity. This is actually a pretty simple fix - - Cut her out of your life completely and have no further contact with her...EVER. - Get a lawyer. Tell him/her everything and instruct him/her to get her out of your life as quickly and efficiently as possible. - Do exactly what the lawyer says. No more, no less. Do not do or say anything without the lawyer's explicit instruction. Yes, there is going to be a price tag attached to the divorce, ie lawyer fees, court costs, marital property division etc. But it is all just going to be drops in the bucket compared to the pain and turmoil and chaos and anguish compared to having this monster in your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Right before I blocked her number, she told me that this is now war and that she is going to bring guys back to our new house and **** them in our bed. If that was a text, I'd make sure to save it. Might come in handy down the road. John, you may have a hard time believing this but you're one of the lucky ones. Many cheaters keep their true selves hidden, makes separation and divorce even harder. She's shown you up front in the process exactly who she is... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Friend, you need to talk to a lawyer now. You may be helping her cause by leaving the home, your lawyer will advise you, listen to him. Get yourself a VAR(voice activated recorder) carry it on you anytime you are around her. You wouldn't be the first husband falsely charged and in jail for assaulting his wife, we have seen it here enough times. The other men are not the problem here, they just take what is being offered. Your problem is your cheating wife. Keep all your proof safe, give copies to your lawyer. Your wife does not sound right, is there any mental illness in her family? If you have no children involved this may be the best and cheapest time for you to get out of this, get the best lawyer you can afford. Believe her when she tells you this is a war. You can't control her, your objective should be to get yourself out of infidelity anyway you can. Great advice! Do it immediately. It's not her house, it's yours too, and record every contact with her, she may try to have you arrested for (false) violence. After reading what she's done and said ("this is war"), you must be grateful and that god every morning. Her true character had revealed. Just think... few weeks ago you wanted her to be the mother of your children, a woman who **** guys out of revenge just to hurt you because you're leaving her. WOW! You are in hell now. But believe me, you dodged a bullet. That's for sure. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 I was an awkward teenager when we started going out. I don't even know who the true me is without her. I'm looking forward to finding out. ( We could write a whole book on this topic. You may have been an awkward teenager and you may not have dated many girls in your teen years. But you are now an adult man and I am assuming you have a certain level of education and are gainfully employed. And I guarantee you that you will do a whole lot of growing up and learning about the world over the next few months. You are going to have a whole new grasp of the world shortly. You will gain a level of wisdom and insight over the upcoming months that many people do not get in a lifetime. There is some built into our deep subconscious hardwiring that makes us think that the person we are involved with is our one and only shot at true love and that if that relationship fails we are destined to die alone in a skid row apartment being eaten by our cats. This is a completely false notion. It is a deception of our own instinct. You will have some tearful and sad moments in the upcoming days and weeks. But you will also come to realize that a great weight has been lifted from you and you will soon realize that it is not your true love that you have lost, but in fact it is a tormentor and bully that you have rid yourself of. It is not the loss of her that saddens you. It is the loss of what you thought she was and your future hopes that she would be a good person that sadden you. You will soon realize that her being gone is actually a relief rather than a loss. And the fact that you have done some tongue-tickling with 7 women over a short period of time means that you do have the ways and means to attract women. So in time you will find love. It will just be imperative for you to work on yourself and perhaps get some individual counseling and therapy so that you can fix your picker because your picker was obviously severely malfunctioning when you thought that this gal was a good wife prospect. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 And I guarantee you that you will do a whole lot of growing up and learning about the world over the next few months. You are going to have a whole new grasp of the world shortly. You will gain a level of wisdom and insight over the upcoming months that many people do not get in a lifetime. . Think of this like Luke Skywalker in the original Star Wars. He was a naïve, awkward boy without much of a future on the farm. Then finds the message from the princess, sets out to find Obi Wan, is attacked by sand people, meets Obi Wan, his family and home get destroyed by the empire, he then seeks the guidance of Obi Wan, goes into town, must navigate his way around storm troopers, almost gets his @$$ whupped by drunks in the bar, hooks up with the swashbuckler, infiltrates the death star and battles it out with storm troopers, rescues the princess, sees his mentor get vaporized by Darth Vader, escapes the death star, goes into battle and uses his new found abilities and blows up the death star. He then has to go to the jungle planet and learn the knowledge and skills in order to confront his nemesis. He loses and arm in his first encounter with Darth Vader and gets totally freaked out when he learns the truth of his reality. He then realizes that his back is against the wall and in order for him and all that he cares about to survive he must have the final confrontation with his nemesis. He then meets Darth Vader and the emporer face to face on their home field, dukes it out with them and defeats the dark side and saves the republic. It's actually a classic tale that goes back to the writings of Homer and the other greats. You are going to have to do the same. You are going to have to come of age. Face your demons. Seek expert counsel. Gain knowledge and skills of manhood. Confront your nemesis. Over come evil and fulfil your destiny as a man. You will face hardships and fear and you may even lose an arm (figuratively speaking) But if you follow your values and stand by what you know is right and don't give in to the dark side, you will survive and prevail. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 I was an awkward teenager when we started going out. I don't even know who the true me is without her. I'm looking forward to finding out. I have left the brand new house we just moved into and I'm at my parents. Right before I blocked her number, she told me that this is now war and that she is going to bring guys back to our new house and **** them in our bed. This **** is killing me. I'm trying to be strong but I'm dealing with the ***n devil. This is going to be a painful period of separation. I want to be in the house but I don't know how I would kick her out. Thanks for all of your messages, they have helped me make the decision to leave tonight. Along with the fact that I logged into her laptop a couple of hours ago and saw that she was messaging both guys asking them to **** her. Then I checked again half an hour later (after taking photographic evidence, of course) and she had deleted one of the threads. I then messaged the guy she ****ed off her account who she was messaging again, and said "thanks for ending my marriage. To my wife, you deleted the other messages too late. I'm out". This whole thing is ***n killing me, especially the fact that she is going to **** other guys in our bed I am so sorry, and I expect this is heart breaking for you It will get better. I promise you that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Dude, don't go digging anymore. You have enough info to justify leaving. Seriously you're hurting yourself and letting her hurt you. You'll see that you're better than this and too good for her. She can play at desperate housewife all she wants, it's her life. Finding strength can be hard but you gotta do it. There are two sayings that float around here that I found helpful and I think you will to: 'My love didn't stop you from cheating and it won't stop me from divorcing you because of it.' And the second one that I think you need to hold very close is 'Never let the crazy in.' Her insanity is just that. Hers. As much as she might want to hurt you if you don't let her in then she can't. Don't let her in your heart, your thoughts your parents house your car your bank account. Become the iron fortress that keeps her and all crazy out. Strength brother! fwiw, I think the ops wife may find that she's not quite as "popular" as she once was, as some guys really like the idea of being with a married woman. Take the marriage out, and poof ! that excitement is gone and she may not look quite as attractive to her 17 year old when she'd tired, upset and wanting to vent to him about her divorce proceedings. as I said, things will get better. It likely hurts terribly right now,and that's okay. It's supposed to, but the grief will pass and when it does, you'll be surprised at all the opportunities that are out there for you. Live you life, find out who "you" are and when you are secure in yourself, and if you want to, you'll find someone who you can trust and who will be faithful. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Hi John, I guess you have been given a lot of good advice and morale boosting talk. It is up to you to decide what you want to do with it. All I can say is that the good folk here are all experienced and have, at one time or another, been the victims of infidelity and so they know what they are talking about from personal experience. If I were to give you any advice it would be to man up and take charge of your life. Remember your wife(or should it be stbx Wife) does not have to influence your emotions. She has done great disservice to you BUT you are the man in charge of your life and NOT her. You control your emotions and you decide what makes you feel good or bad about things in general and about things with particular reference to you. What your wife does affects her and her reputation. It has NOTHING to do with you or your characteristics and qualities. No one can hold you responsible for her behaviour, good or bad. She alone is responsible for that. You said that you love her dearly and cannot live without her. Just for a moment imagine if she had died in an accident. You would have grieved her death and then as everyone else you would move on with your life. You would not, forever pine for her although you would remember your good times with her fondly and cherish those moments. Well for all practical purposes your wife has "died" for you and the woman who occupies her body is not thwe woman who you loved and married. She is a wolf in sheep's clothing who is only masquerading as your wife. The sooner you distance yourself from her the better for your future good. I wanted to ask you how old you are? You said your wife is 26 years and so you would be the same age as her or maybe a couple of years older. That makes you somewhere between 26 and 28 years old. That is a very young age and you can start afresh on a clean slate and find your self a beautiful woman who is kind and loving and completely devoted to you as you had been to your wife. I think you only have two choices in front of you. You can choose to stick with your wife and be made a you know what for the rest of your life OR, you can divorce her and move on, holding your head high and find someone who will love and cherish you for the rest of your life. So choose wisely. I would also suggest that you immediately book yourself into IC to discover what made you cheat. Warm wishes. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
waterwoman Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Good luck - stay strong 1 Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Respectfully, I don't think the 17 year old boy is going to care that he was 'seduced' by an older woman. BUT ..... the law cares. And the law is there to protect STUPID young children from the bad person with the candy and the lost puppy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
somanymistakes Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 BUT ..... the law cares. And the law is there to protect STUPID young children from the bad person with the candy and the lost puppy. 17 is above the age of consent in a lot of places though so the law may not care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author John Moriarty Posted May 7, 2017 Author Share Posted May 7, 2017 16 is the age of consent in my country. You guys are awesome, I'm saving down these messages. They are really helping me and I can't thank you enough for your advice and support. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author John Moriarty Posted May 7, 2017 Author Share Posted May 7, 2017 Also, I'm 27, turning 28 at the end of the year. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 16 is the age of consent in my country. You guys are awesome, I'm saving down these messages. They are really helping me and I can't thank you enough for your advice and support. This is awesome to hear. You will get through all of this, as all the dozens of people who post on here did. We all got through it, and you can too. One thing to remember, though is that it's okay to feel your marriage is over. Just keep in mind that what you are mourning may well be what you thought your marriage was and not the reality. Also, please don;t let this sour you on all women and relationships. Thee are lots of us out there who can be, and are, faithful to our spouses/partners. Find yourself, be confident in who you are and you ill have a wonderful life. ( I know this sounds lame, but I am happy for you in a way. Not happy that your marriage is ending, but happy for you in that you are about to start an exciting adventure...mourn your losses, and when you feel ready, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get ready for the adventure that will be the rest of your life. It's going to be awesome ) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 John...I have been with my husband since i was 16 years old....I was still a junior in high when we married. I literally went from my parents home to making one with John. He was the only guy I ever dated...he took my viriginity. When we got married...He took me clear across the country thousands of miles from home....he was the only person i knew. So I know how it feels to imagine not being with the only person you ever loved. It is frightening. But...when I was your age...I had an affair. You can imagine how I broke his heart...and we had two little kids. Had john not given me the gift of reconciliation...and I suspect had we not had those babies...he would not have....We both would have started all over. It will not be easy...but you are so very young. I have no doubt you will find love again and live a wonderful life. Give yourself time to heal. Seek therapy....read books on healing.... You can do this....this too shall pass 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Grapesofwrath Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 It's a relief to hear that your WW's AP is above the legal age of consent. So while it may not be illegal for her to have sex with a 17-year-old, it does speak to her mentality that she would get involved sexually with a teenager. This is about control and power. It sounds like, based on her recent behavior toward you, that she is stuck as an emotional teenager herself. I'm very sorry you are going through this, but you have a chance now to walk away and learn from this experience. Take the time to grow emotionally. Become a full-grown man and find a full-grown woman with whom you can have an adult relationship based on trust and respect. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author John Moriarty Posted May 7, 2017 Author Share Posted May 7, 2017 I agree 100%. She is a primary school teacher as well.. always teaching them that lying and deception is wrong, yet has a different set of rules for herself. She is an only child and was spoiled rotten right through to her late teen 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 So please tell me...why are you here? What do you hope to accomplish...what do you wish to find out? Do you just want to share what a terrible person she is? Do you want us to encourage you to divorce? to reconcile? I will admit to some confusion.... I think divorce is the smart choice here. So divorce her and be done with it. I doubt anyone here would disagree with your choice. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author John Moriarty Posted May 7, 2017 Author Share Posted May 7, 2017 Just advice, external and unbiased opinion on the situation. In contact with lawyers today. She is already starting to make it ugly... looking like it's going to be messy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 so you have made your choice and will proceed in the path that is best for you. No one can argue that. Only you know what you need and what you should do. Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Just advice, external and unbiased opinion on the situation. In contact with lawyers today. She is already starting to make it ugly... looking like it's going to be messy. John, And now you know what type of Woman and person your wife is. Your loving eyes now see the true person. I am sorry, she is not what you may have hoped for. If you need to know what a truly remorseful wife would be doing read the top post: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/infidelity/365269-things-every-wayward-spouse-needs-know All I can say is be strong, and keep well. I wish you luck.... Link to post Share on other sites
WilyWill Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 Does the secondary school associated with her primary school know that she's had a relationship with a school-age student? How would the school system regard that? Can this be used as leverage to encourage her to keep the divorce fair? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 Good luck to you. Listen to your lawyer. Do not go to your house without another adult there, like your Mom or Dad. Keep all communications thru your lawyer. Go Dark on her. and if it is okay with the attorney, after the D is final, then expose. You do not want her to lose her job before the D. Link to post Share on other sites
SydCar Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 Did your lawyer not tell you to get back in the house ? She should be the one to leave not you! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 John, Whilst you might not think it now, it's better you've seen who she really is before you had children with her. Then you'd be tied to her for life one way or another. Bearing in mind that we have 50% of each parents DNA and that we naturally inherit some of their traits, take time to choose the mother of your children wisely, or they could turn out to be a hot mess like their mother. She sounds like the type who would encourage her daughter to have affairs on the premise of YOLO. There are plenty of good genuine women out there, unfortunately you didn't marry one of them and got a wife with the morals of an alley cat, but it's not the end of the world. You've got your whole life ahead of you and you can keep the crazy out of your life. She seriously sounds like she has a mental health or anger management issue. Link to post Share on other sites
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