preraph Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 Well, I'm a little confused. You keep saying "coming round," as if you're expecting her to just come over. I'm not hearing anything about "I asked her out to dinner and she hasn't responded." Have you considered asking her out on a date and going to pick her up and grab a movie or dinner or something datey? I'm going to tell you right now that if all you want is her to come over and have sex, she's over it and bored. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris9210 Posted March 16, 2017 Author Share Posted March 16, 2017 Well, I'm a little confused. You keep saying "coming round," as if you're expecting her to just come over. I'm not hearing anything about "I asked her out to dinner and she hasn't responded." Have you considered asking her out on a date and going to pick her up and grab a movie or dinner or something datey? I'm going to tell you right now that if all you want is her to come over and have sex, she's over it and bored. Sorry, I should have explained that better, I didn't realise I hadn't my bad! When I say come over, we have arranged for her to come to my place and have the date there for now as we are both broke until payday and she's happy enough with pizza and chill time at my place. I definitely don't want her to come over and have sex and I haven't given her this impression, in fact we have never slept together and I've said I'll wait until she's ready, which she respected. I just think its odd how I've not heard from her today when we speak everyday and especially since we made plans Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 Well, I get being broke, but why not ask her elsewhere instead sometimes, like a walk in the park or just to get out of the house. Mix it up because it sounds to me like she's now bored with chillin all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris9210 Posted March 16, 2017 Author Share Posted March 16, 2017 Well, I get being broke, but why not ask her elsewhere instead sometimes, like a walk in the park or just to get out of the house. Mix it up because it sounds to me like she's now bored with chillin all the time. Well that would be lovely but it costs us money to get to each other hence the chilling thing and we don't do it all the time we've only done it once so could she really be bored already? Even though she's said she enjoys doing it? Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 Is it impossible for you to go to her place? I question this because it's hard always having to be the one to do the driving/traveling and the time involved, when sometimes you'd rather just hang at home, bonus points if you can have someone to snuggle on the sofa with and watch a movie. Do you live close? If she can't have people over, for whatever reason, than the burden is ultimately on her to go to your place to hang out and watch a movie, or perhaps you can do something free or cheap, like a picnic or coffee. You have enough money for pizza, so is there anything you can do w/in that price range? What does, "and she's not real sag" mean? Typo? Three broken dates isn't the best sign. I admit I'm waffling around her just wishing she can stay home in her jammies after a long and busy week, or is just no longer interested, or maybe she'd like to go out, but you're not making it happen due to finances. If work had her working extra hours this week, she could just really need to decompress, but it would be nice if she could tell you, and it would hurt, but at least you know. This could be a hint you need to be taking. I'd say one more try, and it's done. Link to post Share on other sites
anzhoulau Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 Give another shot. Don't do text, call her. If she still says no, a little talk may be needed to check if she is still interested. Link to post Share on other sites
GoldSparkz Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 How long have you guys been together? I find it odd that you're in a relationship with her and she stands you up without even texting you to tell you she isn't coming. This kind of thing tends to happen when you're still in the dating stage. Have you tried mirroring her...ie pulling away and seeing if she contacts you? If she isn't putting in the effort or treating you as a priority then you're best moving on and finding someone who is prepared to make time for you. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 Well that would be lovely but it costs us money to get to each other hence the chilling thing and we don't do it all the time we've only done it once so could she really be bored already? Even though she's said she enjoys doing it? Maybe she is broke too so can't afford to travel to you. Either that or she's waiting for when you can actually afford to travel to her or ask her out on a date. She's just not saying either probably expecting you to pick up on the fact she travelled to you last time. Or, she has lost interest and is hoping you get the hint. Perhaps arrange a date now for when you can afford one. A phone call would most likely make things clear either way though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris9210 Posted March 16, 2017 Author Share Posted March 16, 2017 Is it impossible for you to go to her place? I question this because it's hard always having to be the one to do the driving/traveling and the time involved, when sometimes you'd rather just hang at home, bonus points if you can have someone to snuggle on the sofa with and watch a movie. Do you live close? If she can't have people over, for whatever reason, than the burden is ultimately on her to go to your place to hang out and watch a movie, or perhaps you can do something free or cheap, like a picnic or coffee. You have enough money for pizza, so is there anything you can do w/in that price range? What does, "and she's not real sag" mean? Typo? Three broken dates isn't the best sign. I admit I'm waffling around her just wishing she can stay home in her jammies after a long and busy week, or is just no longer interested, or maybe she'd like to go out, but you're not making it happen due to finances. If work had her working extra hours this week, she could just really need to decompress, but it would be nice if she could tell you, and it would hurt, but at least you know. This could be a hint you need to be taking. I'd say one more try, and it's done. No I could go to her place if I had the money, which I will have from tomorrow, I have been to her place and her mum liked me so that would be fine, she's just not invited me over yet and I don't like to invite myself to places, maybe she does feel burderned about being the one to travel here, however I have always dome the travelling to her with our past dates so she shouldn't feel that way having only had to do it once herself. And she's not real sag was meant to say "she's not read the message" lol I didn't even notice the typo! If I don't get a valid reason for her bailing on me with no message then I am done Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris9210 Posted March 16, 2017 Author Share Posted March 16, 2017 Give another shot. Don't do text, call her. If she still says no, a little talk may be needed to check if she is still interested. Well I was just going to see if she sends me any messages first, that way I'll know if she's bothered or not? But again she's been online today and still hasn't even read my message so ita not looking good Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris9210 Posted March 16, 2017 Author Share Posted March 16, 2017 How long have you guys been together? I find it odd that you're in a relationship with her and she stands you up without even texting you to tell you she isn't coming. This kind of thing tends to happen when you're still in the dating stage. Have you tried mirroring her...ie pulling away and seeing if she contacts you? If she isn't putting in the effort or treating you as a priority then you're best moving on and finding someone who is prepared to make time for you. Not long, only since 25th January and she's never done this before so I'm finding it all a bit odd and tbh a few things have made me question whether she's been faithful to me, I am currently doing the pulling away thing now, I'm going to see if she bothers to contact me, if she doesn't or if she doesn't provide me with a valid reason I'm done, I need someone who appreciates me the way I do them Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris9210 Posted March 16, 2017 Author Share Posted March 16, 2017 Maybe she is broke too so can't afford to travel to you. Either that or she's waiting for when you can actually afford to travel to her or ask her out on a date. She's just not saying either probably expecting you to pick up on the fact she travelled to you last time. Or, she has lost interest and is hoping you get the hint. Perhaps arrange a date now for when you can afford one. A phone call would most likely make things clear either way though. True that could be the reason but if that was the case then why arrange to meet me in the first place and not just say why not arrange something for when we both have money? I'm really starting to think she has lost interest and this is her way of telling me, I will try to ring her though but as I've said she's been online and chosen not to read my messages so that's not a good sign, she's never done that before Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris9210 Posted March 16, 2017 Author Share Posted March 16, 2017 OK she's just FINALLY replied to me, I haven't read her message yet but I caught the beginning of it and she says she had to go into work, what do I do now? Do I leave her waiting for a reply like she did with me or shall I just read the message and take it from there? Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 Ghost her now Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 Neither of you can afford to be dating if you can't even get to each other's houses. She probably wants a man that can take her out and pick her up. Sorry but maybe focus on getting your finances sorted then worry about your gf. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris9210 Posted March 16, 2017 Author Share Posted March 16, 2017 Neither of you can afford to be dating if you can't even get to each other's houses. She probably wants a man that can take her out and pick her up. Sorry but maybe focus on getting your finances sorted then worry about your gf. This isn't a permanent thing, its just temporary as this month has been hard financially, usually I have plenty of money for dating and should have in the near future too! Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 In the future, which is not now... Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris9210 Posted March 16, 2017 Author Share Posted March 16, 2017 In the future, which is not now... In the future, as in tomorrow lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris9210 Posted March 16, 2017 Author Share Posted March 16, 2017 She told me she misses me etc coz its been a while since we saw each other so hopefully this is a sign that things are going to improve! Even though she's back to not reading my messages again ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris9210 Posted March 24, 2017 Author Share Posted March 24, 2017 Not sure if this is in the right forum, but it seems to fit my situation the most. Basically my girlfriend has asked for space because I accused her of cheating on a Facebook group and someone sent her the screenshot of my post, I know this was incredibly stupid of me but I really regret my decision. I've given her space and haven't contacted her, but yesterday she agreed to meet me so we can talk face to face. I asked her if she thinks we still have a chance at a future and her response was "I don't honestly know, when red flags show this early in a relationship, its usually a warning sign, we'll talk face to face and go from there." Now I saw her wanting to meet me and talk as a positive first step, but how does it sound to everyone else? Is the fact she wants to meet a good thing or could she just maybe be breaking up with me? I'm not looking for false hope just answers as I would love for us to stay together and work things out. Also this probably doesn't mean anything but her relationship still says she's with me which I saw as positive too. If you need any more info let me know and I will provide it. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Needy clingy akways gets dumped. You are putting way to much into this. Be cool if it works out great if it doesn't move on quickly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 I wouldn't even show up just like when she didn't show up 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris9210 Posted March 24, 2017 Author Share Posted March 24, 2017 Needy clingy akways gets dumped. You are putting way to much into this. Be cool if it works out great if it doesn't move on quickly I'm not being clingy with her and I haven't even spoken to her since she agreed to meet to talk, I just like her a lot and don't want things to be over for us, I'm taking the fact she wants to meet and talk to be a good thing, I just wanted confirmation of this, or reasons why that wasn't true Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 24, 2017 Share Posted March 24, 2017 Well, this escalated quickly. To clarify, what did you post in this FB group, and why on Earth would you do something like that? I get that you were already worried that she was losing interest, and that may in fact be the case, but to tell others she's cheating is a very immature way to handle it. I would be furious if I'd been smeared by my own boyfriend like that. (I am operating under the assumption that she didn't cheat on you) I wouldn't read anything into her wanting to meet up. It could go either way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris9210 Posted March 24, 2017 Author Share Posted March 24, 2017 Well, this escalated quickly. To clarify, what did you post in this FB group, and why on Earth would you do something like that? I get that you were already worried that she was losing interest, and that may in fact be the case, but to tell others she's cheating is a very immature way to handle it. I would be furious if I'd been smeared by my own boyfriend like that. (I am operating under the assumption that she didn't cheat on you) I wouldn't read anything into her wanting to meet up. It could go either way. I put that I suspect her of cheating based on how she's been recently, I really wish I hadn't done it as we would have probably been fine now no she didn't cheat on me, I'm trying not to read anything into her wanting to meet up but its hard not to have hope because at least she's speaking to me and willing to see me, she could just easily ignore me and tell me she doesn't want to meet me, hopefully I can save this relationship but I'm not sure how that's possible at this stage Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts