harrybrown Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 (edited) Good. what state do you live in? Is she with your former best friend now? Why did she confess? Was it an exit A? did your family ever try to apologize? Edited March 28, 2017 by harrybrown edit 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justinsparky82 Posted March 28, 2017 Author Share Posted March 28, 2017 Good. what state do you live in? Is she with your former best friend now? Why did she confess? Was it an exit A? did your family ever try to apologize? I live in Mississippi (LOVE THE STATE FLAG) im not sure what she is doing and neither him I could care less, She said it was because I wasnt the best in bed sometimes. Yes they have but I never responded to their calls or messages, the only thing that matters to me now is moving forward and focusing on my son. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 There are better people out there than you've had. Move forward and never look back on this. You have gotten out better than most 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Life lessons Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 I don't know if you know or even care but I do believe that Mississippi is one of the states, like Utah, that still recognizes alienation of affection. Meaning you can go after the OM....and possibly sue him for breaking up your marriage!? It looks like the qualifications are applicable, in your case. That's If you want to go that far. Link to post Share on other sites
QuietDan Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 I don't know if you know or even care but I do believe that Mississippi is one of the states, like Utah, that still recognizes alienation of affection. Meaning you can go after the OM....and possibly sue him for breaking up your marriage!? It looks like the qualifications are applicable, in your case. That's If you want to go that far. I don't know if that is really the best thing for him. I don't think he needs to keep all that poison and drama in his life. It went on far too long. I think he wasted enough of his life with her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Heathen Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 Im not sure how I should have confronted him about it....how should and would YOU have approached him?? Sorry for the late reply. Straight right down the middle. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justinsparky82 Posted March 29, 2017 Author Share Posted March 29, 2017 I don't know if you know or even care but I do believe that Mississippi is one of the states, like Utah, that still recognizes alienation of affection. Meaning you can go after the OM....and possibly sue him for breaking up your marriage!? It looks like the qualifications are applicable, in your case. That's If you want to go that far. 5 years was too far. Hell yes, I did not know that. Oh **** Link to post Share on other sites
Superchicken Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 Don't pursue it any further. You got what you wanted, and got rid of trash. Don't change your personality now, just to be spiteful. You should just have no contact any more, and move on. It would show her that you have nothing more to do with her, and as far as your life is concerned, she is not in it any longer, and you are moving on. Continue with litigation, and you do harm to your financial position (It doesn't mean he will pay out, especially if he's broke), by paying your lawyers. Plus, attending court, and continuing to listen to stories of the affair, and your wife for months and months. Cut all ties, take your child on a holiday (Disneyland, whatever), enjoy yourself, and find some one else to spend time on. Don't go down the Revenge path, as its not worth it. Ask yourself, is SHE worth it ?. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. So show her that. Ted. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
WilyWill Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 Boy, it sure would be nice to get back that half of your bank account that will be used to finance their continuing sex party. I'd look into it if I were you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 , She said it was because I wasnt the best in bed sometimes. A parting shot meant to hurt you. Women do this. Don't give it any credence. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justinsparky82 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 Her motivations for confessing are a big deal as well. This has been going on for years so what suddenly motivated her to tell the truth? If it was guilt, a desire to be honest, or because she truly wants to repair the damage then that's one thing. But if it's because she was afraid she was about to be outed or she was dumped and afraid she was about to be outed, then that's entirely different. Because if it's the latter then chances are the affair would still be going on and she was just trying to mitigate the fallout by getting in front of it. Cheaters rarely tell the full truth from the start (which for a lot of betrayed spouses is almost as bad as the cheating). Not to mention they give Oscar winning performances when it comes to lying and covering their own asses. And it's not to spare their BS's pain as many like to claim, it's all about protecting themselves from as many consequences as they can and is rooted in selfishness. He only knows what she chooses to tell him. Granted what he's been told is horrible enough but it could be the tip of the iceberg. Especially since this has been going on for at least half his marriage and he apparently had no clue until she told him. What else has she done that he's unaware of?? I have to agree with the others that at the very least you need to have her served with divorce papers. Not saying reconciliation is impossible if that's what you choose to do but I think you should cut your losses and bail. I mean seriously she ****ed your best friend in your bed and in your son's bed and you don't know what to do??? C'mon man... You honestly think the affair would still be going on?? Link to post Share on other sites
GoldenR Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 You honestly think the affair would still be going on?? Absolutely Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justinsparky82 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 Absolutely Now I'm just wondering if there were any signs that I may have missed whether it was blatant or subliminal as in their behaviors?? Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 Now I'm just wondering if there were any signs that I may have missed whether it was blatant or subliminal as in their behaviors?? Everyone misses. No expects to be cheated on. You didn't do anything wrong, other than pick a lying cheat to marry. Move on and heal. You can have a happy life ahead of you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 Have you had any contact with either one lately? Any remorse or have you kept up N/C? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justinsparky82 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 Have you had any contact with either one lately? Any remorse or have you kept up N/C? Nope. I mean what else is there to say lol?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justinsparky82 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 Someone said that by the way the did this, (not just the cheating lone) that the must have had some sort of resentment over me, but like what?? Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 Someone said that by the way the did this, (not just the cheating lone) that the must have had some sort of resentment over me, but like what?? Maybe. But that is her problem. Adults communicate their resentment and anger. They don't run off and deal with it by cheating on their spouses. If she had issues with you she should have brought them up. Your wife's motives are no longer important. Just know that she is a broken, dysfunctional human being who you are better off without. You did nothing to deserve any of this. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 JS did you ever look into suing the OM for alienation of affection? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justinsparky82 Posted May 25, 2017 Author Share Posted May 25, 2017 JS did you ever look into suing the OM for alienation of affection? 100k. Sometimes I can't help but wonder what time of day they did it.:( Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Hi Justin, so I guess you are on a good wicket now. Your WW is not only out of your life but has also not been able to rip you off. She has been given the minimum that could be possible because the Judge in your case was a wise man. I wanted to ask you how old the two of you are? If you are in your late twenties or early thirties you can go on to have a great life minus your cheating wife. I think she is going to regret her whole life for losing you especially if she sees that you marry a good woman and have a stable happy life here onwards. Was this so called best friend of yours married or was he in a relationship? If so you should inform his SO about his cheating ways. He too, needs to be hurt. If he is not married maybe your ex and he will get together and try and carve a life out for themselves. It won't last though because one or the other or both will cheat on each other down the line. What they say about cheaters usually proves to be true. Warm wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justinsparky82 Posted May 25, 2017 Author Share Posted May 25, 2017 Hi Justin, so I guess you are on a good wicket now. Your WW is not only out of your life but has also not been able to rip you off. She has been given the minimum that could be possible because the Judge in your case was a wise man. I wanted to ask you how old the two of you are? If you are in your late twenties or early thirties you can go on to have a great life minus your cheating wife. I think she is going to regret her whole life for losing you especially if she sees that you marry a good woman and have a stable happy life here onwards. Was this so called best friend of yours married or was he in a relationship? If so you should inform his SO about his cheating ways. He too, needs to be hurt. If he is not married maybe your ex and he will get together and try and carve a life out for themselves. It won't last though because one or the other or both will cheat on each other down the line. What they say about cheaters usually proves to be true. Warm wishes. 35 34 33. He is single. I'm wondering if the.affair was meant to "punish" me, or was the affair out of some sort of resentment over me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cephalopod Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 35 34 33. He is single. I'm wondering if the.affair was meant to "punish" me, or was the affair out of some sort of resentment over me. It had nothing to do with you. She wanted to screw this guy and she did so. You didn't even enter her mind. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Hi Justin, I have written a similar post to this one to a WW on the other man/woman forum. In her case she gave a good answer, for me at least, for refusing to provide examples of her husbands actions and thoughts. Yet she was uncommonly open and blunt about her's. The question of why on my part was a hard nose posed to her as to why the difference. She replied "because in his mind this would betray him yet again. He is ok with me sharing my thoughts and actions, not his at all, and to a degree with our actions he would not be comfortable sharing". No, he did not know about her posts in specifics or site she posted on. So I ask, are your responses guard for a reason? If so will you share or do the posts you provide reflect who you are. So, your answers still tend to lack content and nuances. For example 100K. That's a good chunk of money. Is that net after court fees and lawyers? Have you actually spoken to a lawyer? If you spoken to him, what time frame? What about time you invest both in and out of court. Their will be both positive and negative issues to your son over this. What are they and how will you handled them. My father was amazing, his father sounds like your wife except he was a player and moved on quickly. Yes he broke with his father in his late teens (his parents divorced when he was a toddler.). His mom did the a boy needs both parents, yet the dad was not interested. Both his relationship and his mom's history lead him to refuse to speak with his dad but once when I was perhaps 4 (I know because found a picture of myself and my next younger bother only). Yet I have no memory of him. It was in my late teens I discovered by accident he had recently past. I though he past before my dad was a teen for some reason. My dad refused to discuss the matter. Only saying that at times blood means nothing and principle means everything. I have no doubt my dad was everything his was not, without a trace of the negatives. So perhaps it is worth pursueing a court case. Your thoughts please. Both of how my questions are answered and if my parents amazing marriage vs my dad's parents played out. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 Don't waste you time, energy or money suing for alienation of affection. You have your son to focus on and you don't need the stress of it. If she could cheat on you for 5 years, with your friend, then her affection really isn't worth a penny (as we say in the UK) and why give her the satisfaction that she actually means anything to you. Look at it this way, you can move forward, knowing you've been a good and faithful husband. How many men would be interested in a woman, who cheated on her husband for 5 years with a friend? The shame is hers and this wasn't as a result of wanting to punish you. It's their immoral behaviour and poor values that caused this. Living a happy life is the best thing in your situation. I'm glad you got full custody, as she doesn't deserve it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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