Guy's vs. women's expereience with OLD flakes

[Chilli]

Yeah , l found all that one of the most bizarrest things when l was on my site.

 

l asked about one here earlier, she had me that damn baffled.

 

But although l did somehow wind up talking to plenty of women, it was just mind boggling how on the other hand , some would answer- all happy, hi how's it going , l'd answer back- pooofff- gone. Vanished into thin air.

 

It couldn't be in the way l answered bc l usually went with their way and if they just started with something as simple as that l'd more or less do the same just until l saw whether they were gonna stick around first before wasting anytime on them.

 

l found it fkg mind boggling. They liked me enough to either answer or approach me, next minute , gone.

 

l can understand a girl taking the quiet way out later if you were talking a bit and they'd had a chance to see it wasn't for them , bc of some hassles they might get otherwise yeah sure, but to just say hello or one line and then just

disappear , that's the part that's just batship crazy.

Edited March 1, 2017 by Chilli

[shet]

During the period I used OLD, I'd say I actually got dates with 1 in 5 matches or so. You aren't asking about those, you're asking about the matches and why they "flake". I wouldn't use that word for just a match but you are. I'd say it's simple, they stop talking because they aren't serious about what they're doing. Far more women than men use dating apps for entertainment rather than to actually date (men wouldn't be entertained by such a thing). They're bored or lonely or out with their girlfriends, out comes the Tinder. It's mildly and casually cruel to those they match with, and certainly a waste of everyone's time, but those are two things a lot of people specialise in when it comes to interpersonal interactions. I wouldn't, and didn't, dwell on it; solace comes knowing the character flaws that lead to them behaving that way will subtly or directly plague them and trouble their genuine attempts at relationships for years to come, it's no accident they find themselves single on dating apps and messing people around.

[Chilli]

The sea of options thing, load of bs.

Sea of emails maybe but every women l met when l was on it was literally burned out and getting absolutely no where.

Some of the best too yet most had been on there years and still single 5yrs, 10 yrs, nearly every one.

We often talked about all that stuff and our experiences, talking women 40s here. And any l actually met in person were all lovely ladies because that's what l go for but just weren't for me that's all. Yet still single yrs and yrs.

 

At the end of the day it's just as hard for a girl to find love, the real thing, as a guy and as a matter of fact many more girls that had been on it a longggggg time, than guys. They'd even tell me the guys seemed to find people much sooner and easier.

 

.

Edited March 3, 2017 by Chilli

[SevenCity]

The sea of options thing, load of bs.

Sea of emails maybe but every women l met when l was on it was literally burned out and getting absolutely no where.

Some of the best too yet most had been on there years and still single 5yrs, 10 yrs, nearly every one.

We often talked about all that stuff and our experiences, talking women 40s here. And any l actually met in person were all lovely ladies because that's what l go for but just weren't for me that's all. Yet still single yrs and yrs.

 

At the end of the day it's just as hard for a girl to find love, the real thing, as a guy and as a matter of fact many more girls that had been on it a longggggg time, than guys. They'd even tell me the guys seemed to find people much sooner and easier.

 

.

 

I think guys are more realistic whereas women often have unreasonable expectations if a guy isn't "perfect".

 

They know that they can sift through another 500 matches to find one.

 

To me a girl who has been on OLD for years is a red flag.

[Larryville]

To me a girl who has been on OLD for years is a red flag.

 

They know that they can sift through another 500 matches to find one.

 

Was recently speaking to a friend (woman) and we got into this discussion. She described her experience with guys basically “full-on spamming her inbox with multiple messages before she could reply to even one” She said what many women have stated to me that also when you don’t respond dudes would get hostile.

 

So she shows me her inbox about 40 messages she had not read yet. She explained that she does not have time to go thru these emails. I asked why not? I could help her thru these in minutes.

 

This is a much deeper issue, but after my conversation with my friend (women here might disagree) but women think too deeply about who to choose, overthinking.

 

Your vibe on a guy’s picture should be instant. Immediately get rid of anyone whos looks don’t make you pause and before you read the email read his profile. A shallow, illiterate, stupid dudes profile will stick out like a sore thumb.

 

The other thing I told her to do, if you decide to pay for a subscription, go thru the profiles FIRST and highlight dudes with who you have any interest in and if they message you have already done the vetting and you don’t waste time.

 

I just think women and men overthink and worse for men is too many act like jackasses. However if a woman complains about “so many bad dates” what I say is be selective about who you choose to reach out too.

 

I just find it almost laughable when women get on here and churn out story after story about bad dudes or dudes who turned out to be idiots and blame the men on OLD.

 

Bottom line… CHOOSE WISER!

 

If you keep going out on bad crappy dates and bad experiences YOU are the problem.

 

I figure out exactly who I may target/message. Everyone on a freaking OLD site is NOT for me, so why not just eliminate those that you absolutely know won’t work.

[bluefeather]

Your vibe on a guy’s picture should be instant. Immediately get rid of anyone whos looks don’t make you pause...

 

So think like a man is basically what you're saying.

 

before you read the email read his profile.

 

That actually sounds like more work rather than making things easier.

[SevenCity]

Was recently speaking to a friend (woman) and we got into this discussion. She described her experience with guys basically “full-on spamming her inbox with multiple messages before she could reply to even one” She said what many women have stated to me that also when you don’t respond dudes would get hostile.

 

So she shows me her inbox about 40 messages she had not read yet. She explained that she does not have time to go thru these emails. I asked why not? I could help her thru these in minutes.

 

This is a much deeper issue, but after my conversation with my friend (women here might disagree) but women think too deeply about who to choose, overthinking.

 

Your vibe on a guy’s picture should be instant. Immediately get rid of anyone whos looks don’t make you pause and before you read the email read his profile. A shallow, illiterate, stupid dudes profile will stick out like a sore thumb.

 

The other thing I told her to do, if you decide to pay for a subscription, go thru the profiles FIRST and highlight dudes with who you have any interest in and if they message you have already done the vetting and you don’t waste time.

 

I just think women and men overthink and worse for men is too many act like jackasses. However if a woman complains about “so many bad dates” what I say is be selective about who you choose to reach out too.

 

I just find it almost laughable when women get on here and churn out story after story about bad dudes or dudes who turned out to be idiots and blame the men on OLD.

 

Bottom line… CHOOSE WISER!

 

If you keep going out on bad crappy dates and bad experiences YOU are the problem.

 

I figure out exactly who I may target/message. Everyone on a freaking OLD site is NOT for me, so why not just eliminate those that you absolutely know won’t work.

 

I've heard that guys can get hostile. I'm not sure why they do - surely it can't help their chances. If a woman doesn't respond I assume she's not interested and move on (not that I was ever there to begin with - I just shoot a message and forget about it).

 

What the point of my post was, is why women engage you then disappear. It doesn't make any sense to me - why bother responding in the first place?

 

But, I've seen I'm not alone in this and there could be other reasons. Normal Person pointed out how you have to be this super interesting guy who just did something awesome. It's definitely more engaging but seriously, most of us just got back from work - not skydiving or bungee jumping. I totally get his point though - you have to differentiate yourself. and the women do not - they rely on their looks and options. Most messages I've gotten are "Hey" or "How are you".

[Chilli]

At the end of the day if not for date site bs, which add up to 90% bs anyway if you read serious stats, it's still a level field if not more into the guys favor.

l've known plenty of good women been single for yrs.

Date sites and people talking like that all over the internet make em think they just write up their long shopping list but very few are in any position to be making demands or look at themselves as a person or in the mirror for the last 20yrs, let alone be on a pedestal making demands as if they're models.

Same all the no baggage no baggage bs, yeah right. You get a glimpse into their head or life though and they're usually more messed up than anyone.

At the end of the day, reality just gets sorted out the hard way, thus they wind up exhausted and even more used, skittish and messed up. Saw it all over the place on mine, it's in the forums too, glass clear.

 

Most people to l noticed end up in lots of short dead end relationships and back again and again and that easily runs into yrs and yrs.

Another thing, most of the women are in nearly all of them and a lot of them l know are legit because l met them on mine.

So yaknow, not all is as it seems. Reality is still the same in the end.

It's just a far more exhausting way of finding that out on date sites.

Edited March 3, 2017 by Chilli

[SevenCity]

At the end of the day if not for date site bs, which add up to 90% bs anyway if you read serious stats, it's still a level field if not more into the guys favor.

l've known plenty of good women been single for yrs.

Date sites and people talking like that all over the internet make em think they just write up their long shopping list but very few are in any position to be making demands or look at themselves as a person or in the mirror for the last 20yrs, let alone be on a pedestal making demands as if they're models.

Same all the no baggage no baggage bs, yeah right. You get a glimpse into their head or life though and they're usually more messed up than anyone.

At the end of the day, reality just gets sorted out the hard way, thus they wind up exhausted and even more used, skittish and messed up. Saw it all over the place on mine, it's in the forums too, glass clear.

 

Most people to l noticed end up in lots of short dead end relationships and back again and again and that easily runs into yrs and yrs.

Another thing, most of the women are in nearly all of them and a lot of them l know are legit because l met them on mine.

So yaknow, not all is as it seems. Reality is still the same in the end.

It's just a far more exhausting way of finding that out on date sites.

 

Yea I'm afraid this is the path I'm headed towards. Not though my own fault, but any girl I thought I could get serious with turned out to be selfish / psycho / etc. It was very disheartening when I had that "Ah crap" moment of realizing a girl could not be long term. I want nothing more than to get off these sites and get into a RL but I've yet to find one I would consider for long term. And I really don't ask for much!

 

OLD is good in that it exposes you to people you would not normally meet, but it seems that when people have been on there a while there is a very good reason for it.

 

But, I'm not going to find my next gf sitting home waiting for her so I truck on...