Joga_31 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 My girlfriend is going clubbing on Saturday with her friends she told me no boyfriends. Her friends have boyfriends except one, the idea is that because that one girlfriend has no boyfriend then they don't want to exclude her. I didn't argue, or question it. She even asked me, if it is ok. I said go out there have fun and we can see each other on Sunday. My girlfriend sees me almost daily which is why I did not make a fuss this time. Plus I think that if I give her the space she needs, then I will also get the space I need if I want to hang with the guys or just plain need alone time. I also want her to feel like I trust her even though I am insecure. I am still not the biggest fan of the idea though. Will that feeling always remain? me and my girlfriend have been together for one year.
GoldSparkz Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 I think you're over-analysing the situation. Think about her reason for excluding you - she wants to make a single friend comfortable without soppy couples parading in front of her. This shows that your girlfriend is caring and thoughtful. So I would appreciate this and find something else to spend time thinking about. 3
morrowrd Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 If you love each other, this shouldn't be anything to worry about. Sure, girls get hit on all the time in the clubs, but also remember girls in the clubs reject guys all the time. Some of those rejections probably are because they are in a relationship. If your girlfriend loves you, be smug in knowing all the poor saps out there who will be hitting on her will be rejected. 2
d0nnivain Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Time with friends & interests outside the relationship is healthy. The venue is a bit suspect but it's hard when you are young & the only one of the group in a relationship. If she's trustworthy, she will go to the club, hang with her friends, maybe dance a little & come home to you. If she is not trustworthy, there's nothing you can do about it. 5
preraph Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 You're doing the right thing. Like you said, it's your insecurity. It's not like she's sneaking around. Women need to have "girl time" with their girlfriends. I think guys tend to think all they're doing it going out to a bar and getting picked up or something, but usually they're going to go somewhere they can really talk and dish and catch up, and that's what they're there for. If she was looking for another man, she could do that anytime and she probably wouldn't tell you. No one should ever run off their partner's friends. It's abusive to do that. So I'm glad you're taking a healthy attitude, even if your insecurities are kicking up about it. The way I look at it is leave the door wide open, because then if you have a solid relationship, every time that person comes back to you, you know it's because they want to, and that should ease your insecurities. What won't ease them and will cause the relationship to go south is throwing a fit and not letting her out of your sight. Do that and you'd never know if she was only staying because she couldn't find a way to get out.
Miss Spider Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 It will probably remain. Itmight even get worse unless you work past your insecurities.Jealousy sucks. it's such a self destructive emotion. Of course you're not invited lol. Are any of her friend's boyfriends invited? I can just see you tagging along with a bunch of girls. She just wants to have some fun dancing with her Gfs. Don't you go out alone with your boys sometimes?
TheTraveler Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Good luck ... buddy Yep, she's going to be shaking that bootay hard all over the dance floor
Mrin Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 I am totally fine with this and trust my GF 100%. We have a pretty simple promise to each other - before anything, even flirting, would happen we both promised we would come to the other person and disclose/talk about it. That's a super easy promise to keep - right? Just bring it up before it happens. So until I get that phone call or text or visit, I trust her 100% and she trusts me. Heck I even told her to go to the Thunder Down Under show that's in town with her friends. I just made her promise to do it at a time when I am in town - because I want to reap the benefits when she comes home all hot and bothered. Ha!
Sweetfish Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 How old are you two and how long have you been dating?
smackie9 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Time with friends & interests outside the relationship is healthy. The venue is a bit suspect but it's hard when you are young & the only one of the group in a relationship. If she's trustworthy, she will go to the club, hang with her friends, maybe dance a little & come home to you. If she is not trustworthy, there's nothing you can do about it. You misread it, everyone is in a relationship but one other girl. 1
Shanex Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 I now steer clear of those hormones fueled debauchery parties, and was sick and tired of dealing with my own gender, but here it is a question of trust, if she loves you, she isn't going to tease other guys in da club. You did the right thing, now if some drunk ass try to kiss her in a way and she dodges him, don't wanna scare you buddy but it could happen.
smackie9 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Girls night out, boys night out....keeps the home fires burning IMO. 1
smackie9 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 I now steer clear of those hormones fueled debauchery parties, and was sick and tired of dealing with my own gender, but here it is a question of trust, if she loves you, she isn't going to tease other guys in da club. You did the right thing, now if some drunk ass try to kiss her in a way and she dodges him, don't wanna scare you buddy but it could happen. I tell you this....this sort of thing happens outside of drunken debauchery parties and night clubs....women are constantly approached, but we are not helpless and weak, we can handle the situation quite fine thank you. If it gets out of hand a simple knee to the crotch stops things pretty quickly.
Shanex Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 I tell you this....this sort of thing happens outside of drunken debauchery parties and night clubs....women are constantly approached, but we are not helpless and weak, we can handle the situation quite fine thank you. If it gets out of hand a simple knee to the crotch stops things pretty quickly. In all likelihood, she has more odds to be approached in this environment rather than at the gas station, or library. Thank you too, I've known for years that women were cold approached all the time and witness it everyday. And.. I didn't call women weak or helpless.
smackie9 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 In all likelihood, she has more odds to be approached in this environment rather than at the gas station, or library. Thank you too, I've known for years that women were cold approached all the time and witness it everyday. And.. I didn't call women weak or helpless. Your suggestion of her being a possible target of a guy moving on her did imply that she might be in able to scare the OP. Wasn't that your intent? saying if he wasn't there to steer off some dude, who know what will happen?
Shanex Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Your suggestion of her being a possible target of a guy moving on her did imply that she might be in able to scare the OP. Wasn't that your intent? saying if he wasn't there to steer off some dude, who know what will happen? Ideally, she will be with her friends, love the OP and isn't going to tease some other dude. Even if he tries to. That's my intent.
smackie9 Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 Good lord she is just going out with her friends..... 1
Miss Spider Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 (edited) ITT: insecure guys who think women are desperate for a b*ning and powerless to the wiles of alpha males every time they step foot in a club lol. Red pill is bleeding again Edited February 17, 2017 by Cookiesandough
Author Joga_31 Posted February 17, 2017 Author Posted February 17, 2017 You're doing the right thing. Like you said, it's your insecurity. It's not like she's sneaking around. Women need to have "girl time" with their girlfriends. I think guys tend to think all they're doing it going out to a bar and getting picked up or something, but usually they're going to go somewhere they can really talk and dish and catch up, and that's what they're there for. If she was looking for another man, she could do that anytime and she probably wouldn't tell you. No one should ever run off their partner's friends. It's abusive to do that. So I'm glad you're taking a healthy attitude, even if your insecurities are kicking up about it. The way I look at it is leave the door wide open, because then if you have a solid relationship, every time that person comes back to you, you know it's because they want to, and that should ease your insecurities. What won't ease them and will cause the relationship to go south is throwing a fit and not letting her out of your sight. Do that and you'd never know if she was only staying because she couldn't find a way to get out. I agree with you. She also did tell me that she is hoping that she can connect well with these girls and be tight friends with them. Since she wants more close friends. Over the year I have noticed, some of her friends have betrayed her or simply just don't message her. These girls are somewhat new in her life and she seemed very happy when last week she was out with them and I didn't bug her about it. Which in the past I would throw a fit. And yes you are right many guys including myself do think that girls go to bars and night clubs to get picked up and worse, but I am trying to challenge that view. She came home very happy last week when I didn't make a fit 1
preraph Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 I agree with you. She also did tell me that she is hoping that she can connect well with these girls and be tight friends with them. Since she wants more close friends. Over the year I have noticed, some of her friends have betrayed her or simply just don't message her. These girls are somewhat new in her life and she seemed very happy when last week she was out with them and I didn't bug her about it. Which in the past I would throw a fit. And yes you are right many guys including myself do think that girls go to bars and night clubs to get picked up and worse, but I am trying to challenge that view. She came home very happy last week when I didn't make a fit Good going! And always remember that people who assume someone is going out carousing and get all suspicious, it's because that's how THEIR mind thinks. They know they would be tempted to carouse given the opportunity, so they mistakenly assume their partner is similarly tempted, which isn't usually true. But you have to remember that being suspicious, assuming someone will cheat if they're out of your sight, that says more about YOU than it does about them. So glad you're past that. 1
d0nnivain Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 Yep, she's going to be shaking that bootay hard all over the dance floor So what? As long as nobody else is grabbin' it, it's her booty to shake. I am totally fine with this and trust my GF 100%. We have a pretty simple promise to each other - before anything, even flirting, would happen we both promised we would come to the other person and disclose/talk about it. Heck I even told her to go to the Thunder Down Under show that's in town with her friends. I just made her promise to do it at a time when I am in town - because I want to reap the benefits when she comes home all hot and bothered. Ha! Comin' home hot & bothered is fun & wonderful! Stopping pre-flirt to consult with my husband. . . . oh heck no. BUT, I only advocate PG-13 flirting. . . a tad daring but public, fully clothed & nothing but a simple ego stroke that I would do in front of DH. Anybody gets ideas about stroking parts other than my ego will get straightened out immediately. There are boundaries but they don't always involve people forgetting simple human interaction. You can flirt without being unfaithful. She came home very happy last week when I didn't make a fit Hang on to that fact. Your GF is more interested in bonding with the girls then teasing or picking up some random dude. Your trust will be rewarded. 2
Sweetfish Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 I agree with you. She also did tell me that she is hoping that she can connect well with these girls and be tight friends with them. Since she wants more close friends. Over the year I have noticed, some of her friends have betrayed her or simply just don't message her. These girls are somewhat new in her life and she seemed very happy when last week she was out with them and I didn't bug her about it. Which in the past I would throw a fit. And yes you are right many guys including myself do think that girls go to bars and night clubs to get picked up and worse, but I am trying to challenge that view. She came home very happy last week when I didn't make a fit How old are both of you and how long the relationship?
Author Joga_31 Posted February 18, 2017 Author Posted February 18, 2017 How old are both of you and how long the relationship? I am 26 years old she is 22 and we have been together for 1 year. I have been invited to meet her mom and dad in Hong Kong this spring.
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