He's semi homeless [UPDATE: I am at a certain point now]

[CaliforniaGirl]

Do you mean he had already told you about this issue in the past? Or did you confront him with it after finding the card? If it's the latter I'd be way less comfortable. If the former, at least he was honest about it. BUT why did he have drugs on him, plus a "wad" of cash? To me that's a red flag.

 

How long ago did this happen? If within the past year or so I'd be worried.

 

As for not having him stay over into Monday, totally the right call there, drugs or no drugs. He's not your boarder. Doesn't he have a place to live? If you guys were exclusive and talking about the future, as in marriage and/or moving in together, then I could see it.

[KBob]

I'm not law enforcement expert, but from what I understand the DEA doesn't do street stops or shakedowns. They're involved in busting high level drug activity, which could mean this guy was somehow involved with it. It's possible he's an informant. Either way it's risky to have him staying at your place.

[mortensorchid]

I don't know when this happened, but I am assuming that he had this guy's card in his stuff because it was recent. I am not feeling good about this, because like the above poster said, the DEA does not deal in small potatoes type things. It was something major. I wouldn't have known about it if I hadn't gone through his things.

[angel.eyes]

Is he still homeless and couch-surfing with different friends? Did he ever get the car he claimed he was going to get? Or are you still the designated driver?

 

Initially, you claimed this was just going to be a casual fling. Yet in more recent posts you're treating it like you have expectations of a relationship.

 

What do you want exactly? The guy is red flag city. You don't get searched and arrested for carrying large sums of money (for legitimate purposes). Something prompted his involvement with the DEA.

 

At any rate, there's nothing here that indicates relationship material. That leaves me wondering what your goal is in hanging with him. Besides breathing and expressing interest in you, what exactly is attractive about him? Maybe I'm just blinded by all his negatives. Help me understand his appeal.

[mortensorchid]

He contacted me today. I had done a search and found out some things, I had called a friend in law enforcement and he confirmed some things that I had found out just with Google. I said (in a Facebook IM) "Reports have told me some things about your past. I have made a mistake. Please don't contact me again."

 

THere were a million red flags about him. I had to cut him out of my life, but it's for the best I nipped it in the bud before it got any further because I was allowing it to get somewhere else. Like the OP said, this was based on the fact that he was breathing and he was interested in me. I did the right thing. I'm sad at this moment, but his past is not my fault and it has nothing to do with me. It's done. I'm sad today but I'll be better tomorrow.

 

Keep calm and carry on.

[Simple Logic]

It all makes sense to me. Your BF is in the drug business. He police seized his cash and he is one the run. That why he came to town with no place to stay, no job, ect. You will run acred light with him in the car on day and find there is a warrant for his arrest.

[angel.eyes]

mortensorchid, you need to develop some standards. I suspect if you do, you won't be constantly disappointed with the men you date.

[mortensorchid]

I nixed it. It's done. I told him I found the card, reports came back. I made a mistake, please don't contact me again.

 

This morning I got a text from him saying "I'm sorry you found out, you're a wonderful woman and I will you well. I will not contact you anymore and I will miss you."

 

Sad today but I'll get better with each passing day. Keep calm and carry on.

[Simple Logic]

I nixed it. It's done. I told him I found the card, reports came back. I made a mistake, please don't contact me again.

 

This morning I got a text from him saying "I'm sorry you found out, you're a wonderful woman and I will you well. I will not contact you anymore and I will miss you."

 

Sad today but I'll get better with each passing day. Keep calm and carry on.

 

You do realize he is not done with you? He is going to call you or show up at your home crying he has no one but you. When he does, call the police.

[mortensorchid]

It's been almost a month since I nixed it with the guy I was with for the last 3 months. There were many red flags about it, but I tried to be positive and say it's worth it. I ended it when I found something in his bag, did a search and found out he was in the drug business. I said "I know about it. I made a mistake, please don't contact me again." He sent a text the next day saying he was sorry I found out. He won't contact me again, he was happy to be with me and he'll miss me.

 

I did the right thing by ending it, I don't want to get pulled into his mess. But, I feel lonely ... I won't reach out, instead I will post my feelings. Just a thought. I can only hope that someday, somehow it can / will happen. No more losers, no more sociopaths, no more emotionally / verbally abusive men. I can only hope ...

[Kriskris]

Hello,

 

I am sorry you are going through this. Its good thag you do noy reach out and just post your feelings here. I feel like the reason we reach out after its said or done is because of the lonliness. Although you hurt now you were ok before him and you will be ok after him. When its right its right and there will be someone deserving of you down the road. Take this time as a lesson and time for growth.