Author Nadine123 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 Thanks for your reply. I think whats disappointing me the most is that I always thought if he called and I rejected him I would feel happy or that I did take revenge in a way. All I feel now is that I miss him. Im just surprised with the audacity he has to call me after all this time. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Thanks for your reply. I think whats disappointing me the most is that I always thought if he called and I rejected him I would feel happy or that I did take revenge in a way. All I feel now is that I miss him. Im just surprised with the audacity he has to call me after all this time. They don't care. He is doing it for himself for some reason. Either he just got dumped, is lonely...something. It's all about their ego and they know we will feed it. Stay strong chickie. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 thanks as always veve. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bromeo Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Nadine, I got ghosted, ignored, and played games with for months after an 18 month debacle with someone I very much cared for. Went NC for 41 days. Got an email. Same thing everyone else seems to go through here. The only reason mine read an email 41 days old and sent a reply is because the new mope isn't quite as awesome as she thought. However, I cannot go back to how I felt months ago. I get the torture them, take them back, then ditch them. I go through the same derth of feelings. But really, it doesn't matter. I miss cigars on the deck with my ex. That thought kept me killing myself. However, I don't miss the last couple months just laying in the tub waiting for the emotions to drain out. No one can tell you how to think or what to do. Just protect yourself, you are what matters. Took me awhile to learn this too. My .02 c Dave 4 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 and I know how much it sucks. It's a similar case with my ex but I am just shy of three weeks NC...so a long way to go. But he did this in and out of my life thing for the last 5 months. I can't even believe 5 months have gone by since he ghosted me. Yet he was constantly texting me and then disappearing. He came to see me once...then disappear again. I can't remember who said it on my thread, but basically they can not commit to us or commit to not having us. It is us that has to decide in the end. That is the hardest part, because as we have truly good intentions, we care about them and when they come back, we have that glimmer of hope that they want us for real. Sadly, they want us for their own ego boost, and will leave us again when we give in. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 I remember your thread. I think it was also a short but intense relationship like mine if im not mistaken. Its just crazy that he was so surprised that I didn't want to see him.It is truly mind boggling. The sad thing is that our relationship was actually AMAZING in the beginning. Out of curiosity, do you think things went south with the new girl or was he just curious because I dissapeared from the face of the earth and even blocked his friends.That was nine months ago though. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I remember your thread. I think it was also a short but intense relationship like mine if im not mistaken. Its just crazy that he was so surprised that I didn't want to see him.It is truly mind boggling. The sad thing is that our relationship was actually AMAZING in the beginning. Out of curiosity, do you think things went south with the new girl or was he just curious because I dissapeared from the face of the earth and even blocked his friends.That was nine months ago though. He's just hovering. Seeking out sources of attention. It's always amazing in the beginning. It's called the honeymoon period. The test of a relationship comes once the stars and moon fade away. Then comes substance. There was no substance. He likely loves the chase and the excitement but when it came to real commitment, he stepped away and jumped onto a new woman. Who knows why he's coming around? That's not what you should be focusing on. Focus on the fact that you deserve better rather than questioning the behavior of someone who has disrespected you time and time again. When he called from the unknown number, you didn't have to pick up or call back. If it's important, they will leave a message. I think you were hoping it would be him and that is why you took the extra step by calling back. Block that number as well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 Not at all. I always get calls from strange numbers for interviews or collaborations and that is why I called back. He wasnt even in my mind at all. I started dating a new guy who ended up being a douche but i ended that as well. I am focusing on his behaviour which is why I blocked the number when he called from it again and stopped picking up on any weird numbers for now. All of this doesnt mean that Im not doing that well today. I took all the necessary steps during and after but I am human after all. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Not at all. I always get calls from strange numbers for interviews or collaborations and that is why I called back. He wasnt even in my mind at all. I started dating a new guy who ended up being a douche but i ended that as well. I am focusing on his behaviour which is why I blocked the number when he called from it again and stopped picking up on any weird numbers for now. All of this doesnt mean that Im not doing that well today. I took all the necessary steps during and after but I am human after all. The next time, let it go to voicemail. If it's important, people will leave a short message. Knowing now that he is capable of doing this, protect yourself. It's triggered you so you're going to feel discomfort again. It will pass. One of the ways to do that is to keep coming to the present versus going back to the past. Acceptance of who he truly is will help you stop analyzing the whys. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jamili Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Wow, who would have thought? Most people know my story but for those of you who don't, my narcissistic ex ghosted me on my birthday and I found out he was seeing me someone else. I was destroyed for six months after that and thanks god was able to get through it, part of it because of the people here. Today he calls me after NINE months from a weird number. I get two miss calls so I call the number back and I didnt even recognise him in the beginning. He said things like I dreamt of you two days ago (bull**** of course) and I want to see you to talk to you. I refuse and he says he will call me after work. I didn't want to be rude so I told him look, my phone will switch off don't call me or text me again and I hang up immediately. I legit had a panic attack for twenty minutes after that. Is it weird that when I spoke to him I missed him a little. How crazy does this psycho think he can call me after all this time and ill agree to see him. I bet the girl he left me for left him but hey, that isnt my issue anymore. Are you sure he's legit narcissistic? Are you sure you don't want to give it another shot? I know many people here are going with the "never take him back, he can go diaf!!" but make sure you are doing what you really want to do. A dumper coming back is a rare thing. There is a chance he has changed and learned from his mistakes. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Are you sure he's legit narcissistic? Are you sure you don't want to give it another shot? I know many people here are going with the "never take him back, he can go diaf!!" but make sure you are doing what you really want to do. A dumper coming back is a rare thing. There is a chance he has changed and learned from his mistakes. That's funny. Who cares if he is or not? He's a legit a$$h*le. Isn't that enough? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 It's like that old song... There's a thin line between love and someone who just wants to bang you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 we don't bang and he knows he never will. Religious reasons. Not that he didnt try to bring it up a million times when we were together. Link to post Share on other sites
nolookingback716 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Are you sure he's legit narcissistic? Are you sure you don't want to give it another shot? I know many people here are going with the "never take him back, he can go diaf!!" but make sure you are doing what you really want to do. A dumper coming back is a rare thing. There is a chance he has changed and learned from his mistakes. I disagree. I think dumpers crawling back is pretty common, and a good portion of the time it isn't because they legitimately love or miss the dumpee. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 why do they think they do then? He ghosted me for another girl btw. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Are you sure he's legit narcissistic? Are you sure you don't want to give it another shot? I know many people here are going with the "never take him back, he can go diaf!!" but make sure you are doing what you really want to do. A dumper coming back is a rare thing. There is a chance he has changed and learned from his mistakes. It's not rare, it's actually expected especially when you are ghosted. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 why do they think they do then? He ghosted me for another girl btw.Because you seem like you'd be a fast boat to Tunatown. Know what I'm saying? Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 You keep classifying this guy as narcissistic. Please state your claim Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Out of curiosity, do you think things went south with the new girl or was he just curious because I dissapeared from the face of the earth and even blocked his friends.That was nine months ago though. Probably both, plus add in the new year and we have the return of the ghoster. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 we don't bang and he knows he never will. Religious reasons. Not that he didnt try to bring it up a million times when we were together.Everybody loves a challenge, even pursuing a lost cause, especially if it's part time and fun! Why do you think people golf? Nobody will ever get 18 holes in one, but they still do it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 You keep classifying this guy as narcissistic. Please state your claim I would but you were extremely rude to me in my last post so I dont think you would be beneficial to me in any way. People like zahara veve and the others who know my story from the beginning know what im talking about. also please refrain from commenting on my posts, your opinion isnt really welcomed. thanks 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 Everybody loves a challenge, even pursuing a lost cause, especially if it's part time and fun! Why do you think people golf? Nobody will ever get 18 holes in one, but they still do it! That might be true but trust me he knows very will it will never happen. Regardless of what the reason is I think it is clear that whatever it is, it's about him not me and he doesn't give two ****s about my existence. Im just glad I can come here and vent whenever I need to. Thanks everyone. If it wasnt for your support and things I have learnt here I would have probably agreed to meet him to be ghosted again lol. Link to post Share on other sites
nolookingback716 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 why do they think they do then? He ghosted me for another girl btw. To be blunt, it's probably because they're feeling horny and looking for an easy bootycall. It also gives them an ego boost to know that you're still interested. Is it possible that some genuinely do miss the dump and think they made a mistake? Yes. I think the above is usually the more likely scenario. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nadine123 Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 He knows im not a booty call. Im waiting until marriage for religious reasons. In this part of the world its completely normal. So since he got rejected, wont that screw his ego since he was looking for an ego boost? Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 He knows im not a booty call. Im waiting until marriage for religious reasons. In this part of the world its completely normal. So since he got rejected, wont that screw his ego since he was looking for an ego boost? yes, but only momentarily. He will then venture onto Tinder, or other online dating sites to fill the void. My ex went onto POF, and made his profile pic a pic I took of him. I knew because I creeped his username, and saw he was back on. We met on there and I am sure he thought I would be on there too and would see him. My account was deleted though...lol Link to post Share on other sites
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