Thoughts & advice: Dating someone who is blind?

[ButterflyLion]

All I can think is be gentle about it - anf if you are serious not make it too jokey.

He can't read your facial expressions so 'think' about how to approach it.

He doesn't want to look a fool and neither do you.

 

I think if I were you touch his hand and express your feeling through that - touch can mean more than any words can express.

 

I loved your story about him and I wish you all the best!

If you are unsure about his response come back, It'll be weird/awkward/nervy but I think you can do this and my goodness if I could find a man like that....

I wouldn't take things fast but I would want to make the feelings you are having known.

Make it late in the day to say something - that way he can go away and think. He will need some time to think most likely and will need space for that - all fair enough. You would too in his position.

 

Have a great day tomorrow!

I am so excited for you!! x

Thank you, i meant to reply sooner, this was really helpful! I've actually never asked a guy out before, not that I'm against doing so, it's just always been the other way round! I have a little more respect for guys who do now!

 

Thank you! x

[ButterflyLion]

So, I told him, I told him at pretty much the end of the afternoon, which was a good shout but played on my mind allllllll day. I didnt want to come on too heavy, i just told him that like I feel like there's something between us, that I don't think we're 'just friends' because just friends doesn't feel like this and i said obviously that theres no pressure but that if he felt the same then that would be cool (and yeah cool was the actual word i used in that sentence :confused:)

 

He said "I don't think we've ever been just friends" Which all things considered i thought was pretty positive. At which point i probably got over confident and took things way to fast, cause he leaned in slightly and so i just kissed him and he did kiss me back.

I didn't think it would freak him out, its not like he's not used to female attention, he used to get plenty of it.

But I dont know if i just went from like 0-100 too quick and just overloaded stuff or what?

 

He backed off. He said that he's always liked me, he said he made "loads of mistakes when we were younger" that he should of split up with his ex sooner and just dealt the fall out, that "when he did he shouldn't of backed off and stood aside just because [my ex, who was his friend at the time] liked me", that we could have tried giving the long distance thing a go, that i could of given taken a gap year and travelled with him, that he "should have fought us and not been so passive".

But that things had changed and we cant just pretend they haven't, that he's blind now, and that's permanent.

 

Obliviously I told that like, I realise all that, its not coming as news to me that he's blind, that I like him regardless of that, and that if anything the way he's bounced back gives me more admiration for him.

 

He was like "right, I believe that i can do anything, i just have to find my own way to do, because i have to believe that because this is my life, and its my forever, but it doesn't have to be yours. I don't want you to be settling because there are things I cant do. I can't catch a spider and put it outside for you, by the time i open the car door for you we'll be grey and old because the damn handles are never in the same place, and don't even get me started on assembling flat pack furniture when Screw A and Screw B feel exactly the same or the stupid inedible things they put on your plate for 'decoration' at fancy restaurants. You have to understand the reality"

 

I do understand the reality, im not off living in some fantasy land where we're going to live on the beach and surf all day, everyones life has a reality side, mine included!

But i just said to him that that stuff doesnt bother me, he never lets it bother him or stop him living his life, and it doesnt bother me either. What bothers me is he makes me laugh, a lot! And how much i enjoy talking to him and doing things together. And how much I love the sound of his voice. And then i used the some of the advice i got here and i said to him that I'm not proposing marriage, I'm proposing a date, just like any other people go on a date () I dont believe that the way that we've felt so long is for nothing, I think that we owe it to ourselves at least to give it a shot.

 

So that's that reallyyy, i pretty much left it with him to think about, i told him i don't need to give him my number because he's already got it.

 

I kind of thought he would call yesterday but he didnt.

And now i dont know really, i'd normally have text him by now but i dont want to bug him, and i dont know if i should just be backing off to save the friendship or whether i should try and encourage him more?

[Shepp]

I can't catch a spider and put it outside for you, by the time i open the car door for you we'll be grey and old because the damn handles are never in the same place, and don't even get me started on assembling flat pack furniture when Screw A and Screw B feel exactly the same or the stupid inedible things they put on your plate for 'decoration' at fancy restaurants.

 

I want this to work out for you because I really like this guy, he sounds hilarious :lmao: I want to be his buddy

 

He likes you back, right? He said he likes you! I can understand that you, if you were him, might feel as though the novelty's going to wear off fast and he doesn't want you to feel 'stuck' with him and the day to day inconveniences that being blind obviously throw up (The car handle thing made me laugh! I cant find them half the time with 20/20 sight!!! ).

 

Show him that you can match him in the resilience stakes and dont be deterred!

He wants to feel like you know what you're getting into and you've thought it through, so thats the side you need to show on this one. However jokey you guys normally are, you need to be serious on this, you need to be thoughtful!

 

Maybe some sort of gesture would help but, im not really sure what to suggest, have a think about it!

[bluefeather]

Thanks for the update! The dude sounds really cool. Obviously conflicted by his situation and is considering the idea. He seems to care a lot about you and the relationship he has with you. Honestly, if he doesn't think it's a go, hey at least you tried, and then you can drop the serious talk and just keep having fun with him as close friends. I bet later on down the line you two will get drunk and have a great night together anyway!

[GemmaUK]

Well he clearly likes you!

As Shepp said he wants to make sure you know what you're getting into and I think personally that he wants to be sure you aren't saying or doing at of this out of sympathy for him - that really came across to me.

 

Give him time to think about it and digest it.

Don't reach out just yet. If you would usually chat each day give it a couple of days at least. If he has the balls (and he should have) then maybe he should reach out to you - only you would know or have an idea if he would do that but I'd give him just a little more time

 

I have also tried to think of a gesture but all I can think of is inviting him to do an activity which he enjoys but finds a challenge (as in you are quite aware that he is capable of doing things on his own plus that he wants to and has to - as per the vibe I got) and your intention Is not to try to 'look after' him.

 

I really want this to work out, it's the loveliest story I have read on here.

 

Keep us posted!!

[ButterflyLion]

I want this to work out for you because I really like this guy, he sounds hilarious :lmao: I want to be his buddy

 

He likes you back, right? He said he likes you! I can understand that you, if you were him, might feel as though the novelty's going to wear off fast and he doesn't want you to feel 'stuck' with him and the day to day inconveniences that being blind obviously throw up (The car handle thing made me laugh! I cant find them half the time with 20/20 sight!!! ).

 

Show him that you can match him in the resilience stakes and dont be deterred!

He wants to feel like you know what you're getting into and you've thought it through, so thats the side you need to show on this one. However jokey you guys normally are, you need to be serious on this, you need to be thoughtful!

 

Maybe some sort of gesture would help but, im not really sure what to suggest, have a think about it!

 

Thanks Shepp!!

Yeah I do understand that! I do get what he feels! But I feel like this is really right, I feel a long way past novelty, in fact i found it much harder initially, I felt really bad for him and i didn't know how to treat him, how to act around him but now we're back to normal, I don't think anything of it anymore. It probably sounds really weird to say, but i forget he's blind, i just know he cant see, it's hard to explain.

And it's true of any relationship, he could well get bored of me, I'm not perfect (shocking, i know!) I swear too much, and I smoke too much, and i lick the spoon when i'm baking!! (He's always telling me off for my smoking )

 

Yeah i get you, i get you! That makes sense!

 

Thanks!

 

 

Thanks for the update! The dude sounds really cool. Obviously conflicted by his situation and is considering the idea. He seems to care a lot about you and the relationship he has with you. Honestly, if he doesn't think it's a go, hey at least you tried, and then you can drop the serious talk and just keep having fun with him as close friends. I bet later on down the line you two will get drunk and have a great night together anyway!

He is cool

I'm starting to think that long term it would be really difficult for me to progress with our relationship as it has been if the answer was a categorical no. I like him. I really like him. And now I've said it too him i feel like I've made it even more real in my own head.

I will always be his friend. Always. But I can't spend my time off with him and text him everyday if this is 'just friends' because that's more than just friends, isn't it!

[ButterflyLion]

Well he clearly likes you!

As Shepp said he wants to make sure you know what you're getting into and I think personally that he wants to be sure you aren't saying or doing at of this out of sympathy for him - that really came across to me.

Yeah I hear you, I do! I can understand that. Like I say, initially, when he first came home, I did feel sorry for him, but I don't feel like that anymore. He's a klutz, he's always been a klutz but I don't feel like I need to look after him. He can look after himself.

 

Give him time to think about it and digest it.Don't reach out just yet. If you would usually chat each day give it a couple of days at least. If he has the balls (and he should have) then maybe he should reach out to you - only you would know or have an idea if he would do that but I'd give him just a little more time

He text me last night actually! Not in the kinda indepth way we'd normally text but he just asked me when he could see me next (and then text again like a second later while I was replying to say "And don't say 'never' because that's highly offensive to the blind community and because you know what i meant! ;)" So he sounds his usual self, not too awkward or anything. I told him i can see him Thursday, so I was thinking I'd just let him do any 'reaching out' between now and then.

 

I have also tried to think of a gesture but all I can think of is inviting him to do an activity which he enjoys but finds a challenge (as in you are quite aware that he is capable of doing things on his own plus that he wants to and has to - as per the vibe I got) and your intention Is not to try to 'look after' him.

Ah okay, I see what you mean!!

 

That's actually a really difficult question though!

I guess he's an outdoorsy guy, he loves surfing (which we do a lot of anyway), climbing, horse riding, kayaking all that kind of stuff, which I guess is all more of a challenge now but the truth is, he was always better than me at all those things and he still is better than me!

There's other things he loves that are more challenging for him, but then they require the person he's with to act as a guide and thats not really the kind of vibe i think i want to portray for this! And his mates tend to be better 'guides' than me, he loves mountain biking and we went a few times but we just cant do it, cause I've never been the worlds best mountain biker, i normally enjoy adrenaline sports but i find going downhill on a bike scary! So when i was trying to guide him i was always like "omg stop stop", at the same place his brothers would be like "5ft drop coming up in 3, push hard now Chase" :lmao: He thought it was funny but its much too much pressure for my liking!

 

I think I'm drifting off topic, I cant remember what point i was making You are totally totally right though, he hates special treatment, that's the only time that i ever see him start to get remotely frustrated is when people are fussing over him!

I think a massive part of why he's adapted so well is as soon as he came out of hospital his parents we're like he's a man, not a kid, we're not going to help him cut his food, not going to help him button his shirt up, he's going to have to figure it out himself and they were right, he has done!

And i completely feel that, i want to be his girlfriend, and everything that goes with that, but i dont intend to try and be a carer, he doesnt need one!

 

I really want this to work out, it's the loveliest story I have read on here.

 

Keep us posted!!

Aw, you're sweet!! Thanks again, for all your advice!

[GemmaUK]

I've taken a little while this evening to get my diner, watch some TV and think about this since I clicked 'like'- as you do.

So, he reached out and my impression is it's to get together and talk - I could be wrong - you know him and I don't.

No date yet - fair enough and I would absolutely not expect that - nor do I think you would expect that yet.

 

I think he has gone away and thought about the reality of it all and will possibly hit you with all of that.

But, truth be told - yeah there is some you realise, some you don't (of living day to day) but I get the feeling you won't have an issue with it. I like that in you to be honest with you.

He might describe things and become harsh with you about some of the realities and you should be aware that he might.

I'm attempting here to be empathertic to both of you. He might not be like this at all - but he 'might' and I wouldn't want it to put you off so just be aware.

It all may be great but he also may blurt a pile of things and say 'how would you feel when..' 'what about when I get angry and I can't do xyz?'

Get me? If I were him these would likely be the things I would have been thinking over. It doesn't mean he is trying to push you away or anything like that it's blunt truth because he cares about you and respects you.

 

This is likely to be your most serious talk.

He 'lost' his sight. Things have changed on an epic scale for him.

 

The other side of this is that he can't see your expressions.

I think you might be good to up your game on tone of voice if it is indeed a talk you're gonna have - so he can 'hear' the expressions coming through - this will take 100% honesty from you. An impartial reply would/could make him think 'no, I don't want her to have to deal with this' an honest reply which might even be 'Wow! I never thought of that! How do you deal with it? Can you do that on your own or ask for help or maybe need help but you're a klutz so you wing it? (eg washing machines - do all his shirts turn out pink cos he gives it 'a go') I really hope you get what I mean here.

If he hits you with stuff - be honest if it's not something you have even thought of - he deals with lots of things you haven't yet thought of - toilet rolls not stored in the usual place - epic fail! Especially after a curry night!Lol! Ya know!??!

 

Nothing about this post is meant to either make you sound stupid nor to not be on your side as I really am.

It's just thoughts I have had.

Reason being is I would love to see this next meeting up be a good one for you both.

I hope you get where I am coming from. My intentions are all good but with a little warning of a possible thing which might or might not happen.

[ButterflyLion]

I've taken a little while this evening to get my diner, watch some TV and think about this since I clicked 'like'- as you do.

I honestly, didnt know what to expect when i first posted here, but it staggers me to find how people I've never met will give there time to give me advice! I honestly appreciate that so much!

 

So, he reached out and my impression is it's to get together and talk - I could be wrong - you know him and I don't.

No date yet - fair enough and I would absolutely not expect that - nor do I think you would expect that yet.

I assume he wants to talk, yeah. He's never been the sort to skirt around an elephant in the room, he's pretty straight forward!

No, I've been thinking about the way I feel for a long while now so it figures that he'd want a bit of time to think too. After all, he's not just some guy I met in a bar!

The 'date' thing might be a bit of a hurdle in itself to be honest, like because we spend a fair bit of time together one on one anyway, and (in the event that he does want a date... hopefully) like upping "hanging out" to "date" is obviously going to be harder than say dressing up nice and going somewhere fancier, because obviously he wont be able to see that. But that's jumping ahead of myself anyway!!

 

I think he has gone away and thought about the reality of it all and will possibly hit you with all of that.

But, truth be told - yeah there is some you realise, some you don't (of living day to day) but I get the feeling you won't have an issue with it. I like that in you to be honest with you.

He might describe things and become harsh with you about some of the realities and you should be aware that he might.

I'm attempting here to be empathertic to both of you. He might not be like this at all - but he 'might' and I wouldn't want it to put you off so just be aware.

It all may be great but he also may blurt a pile of things and say 'how would you feel when..' 'what about when I get angry and I can't do xyz?'

Get me? If I were him these would likely be the things I would have been thinking over. It doesn't mean he is trying to push you away or anything like that it's blunt truth because he cares about you and respects you.

Yeah I do get that. Like don't take it personally if he acts like he thinks I can't handle it.

 

I know it's hard for him, i know that. I think it's easy to forget that because he's such a positive guy.

I honestly didn't give much thought to the challenges of being blind until it hapened to him! He's always been a people person, everyone loves him he's always that thing, but I've seen that people are one of the biggest challenges he's faced! His friends and family have been AMAZING but outside of that people either treat him like his blindness must leave him deaf and dumb as well (I've seen people do this when we've been out, talk really loudly to him, or like look to me to talk on his behalf - which I would never do) or they kinda think like life is 100% as easy for him as it was before.. because he still looks the same, talks the same, still lives on the beach!

The truth is more in the middle, although definitely closer to the latter than the former!!

 

Even my sister, I spoke to her today, she kinda figured out I was 'into someone', tried to pressure out of me who it was, and then promptly guessed! And her initial reaction was like "Still!? Now? I know you always liked him but he's blind now!".

I was pretty surprised that'd be her reaction, they hang out for one thing, her brother is pretty much best friends with my guys big brother! She was like "I love Chase, and I know he's hot, I'm just saying as your sister, you need to think about the fact he's blind now, don't ignore it!"

 

(Like I wouldn't have thought about it! ...sisters ) I think though if anything she brought home to me even more why he would be guarded with this! People react to him differently than they did before. And I guess if we did start dating and became public knowledge we'd probably have a lot of the above to deal with, and I guess he realises that!!

 

Not that I'm phased by that, I'm far more stubborn than that! But it does feel good to talk about it!

 

The other side of this is that he can't see your expressions.

I think you might be good to up your game on tone of voice if it is indeed a talk you're gonna have - so he can 'hear' the expressions coming through - this will take 100% honesty from you. An impartial reply would/could make him think 'no, I don't want her to have to deal with this' an honest reply which might even be 'Wow! I never thought of that! How do you deal with it? Can you do that on your own or ask for help or maybe need help but you're a klutz so you wing it? (eg washing machines - do all his shirts turn out pink cos he gives it 'a go') I really hope you get what I mean here.

If he hits you with stuff - be honest if it's not something you have even thought of - he deals with lots of things you haven't yet thought of - toilet rolls not stored in the usual place - epic fail! Especially after a curry night!Lol! Ya know!??!

Yes I hear you! That totally makes sense actually because reaction would probably be to be like 'that's not/ won't be an issue" but actually I do see how that could come across like I'm not taking it seriously or "getting it" understanding the reality!! That's a really good point!!

 

The washing is a funny example because I turned all mine and my sisters whites pale blue once, and I don't know what my excuse is!!!:laugh:

I seem to get that getting round mossy daily tasks requires a super high level of organisation, but the reality is he's NOT a very organised guy and with three sons still at home his house is not very organised either! But I think in a way, although not textbook, it's helped him cause he's had to learn to get by in the mids of chaos!

 

Nothing about this post is meant to either make you sound stupid nor to not be on your side as I really am.

It's just thoughts I have had.

Reason being is I would love to see this next meeting up be a good one for you both.

I hope you get where I am coming from. My intentions are all good but with a little warning of a possible thing which might or might not happen.

Thank you :D

[elaine567]

I am sorry this may have been stated earlier and I missed it, but how old is he now?

[PLT]

What a truly heartwarming story. I wish you both all the very best tomorrow.

[angel.eyes]

...the reality is he's NOT a very organised guy and with three sons still at home his house is not very organised either.

How old are you both? How old are his sons? What role is their mother (or mothers) playing in their lives? Was he previously married?

 

With the additional detail you provide in this particular post, things may be a little more complicated than initially appeared.

[ButterflyLion]

I am sorry this may have been stated earlier and I missed it, but how old is he now?

 

He's 23, I can't believe I didn't put that in the post!!

We're the same age ATM (he's something like 8 months older than me.)

 

How old are you both? How old are his sons? What role is their mother (or mothers) playing in their lives? Was he previously married?

With the additional detail you provide in this particular post, things may be a little more complicated than initially appeared.

Sorry this is me badly wording things because I was writing that when it was late!! I meant he is one of three brothers that live at his parents home!

He's got no kids, no ex wife, nothing like that!!

[GemmaUK]

Another thing you can do is tell him or re-iterate to him some of the things you've aid in your reply to me.

EG other people and how they treat him.

If you tell him these things or recall incidents where people talk loud or talk to whoever he is with instead of him that is another way that he will realise you do understand it.

 

I'll be thinking of you, good luck!!

[ButterflyLion]

Hey guys!

 

Sooo we had a really good chat in the end. On the whole he was much more open to the idea than before.

He kind of said that he feels really confused by himself, because he feels like he's being really "unromantic" and "overly practical" which "isn't really who he is, or was". He said that like he doesn't want to be like that, but that he just needs to know that I like "This Chase & Luke (his guide dog ) and not just 18 year old Chase" because although he is totally dedicated to making as little difference between the two as possible, he needs me to know that losing his sight has changed his life in major ways, and in little ways that he's still discovering and if we're going to do this then I need to be okay with that.

 

He also said that he thinks I'm either totally amazing or totally bonkers (), because he doesn't know if he could of been so "incredibly open minded" if he'd been put in my position!

 

I kinda just told him that like, I do understand, and of course there's stuff that I don't understand and obstacles that we will face but like whats new there? That's true of every relationship. I don't think these things ever come easy, but that doesn't scare me, and at the end of the day I know that putting hard work into things isn't something that scares him either!

 

Ultimately like being with him makes me happy, he has this awesome uplifting effect on everyone around him and honestly I can't get enough of his company, and I just believe that's gotta be we've got a shot and that it's worth at least a date and anyway obviously he does too because we're going on one tomorrow evening!!

 

Which is great! I'm stoked! I am nervous though, which is really really weird because we spend loads of time together anyway, and he's like the easiest guy to be around, and because I'm not someone that really gets nervous! So I don't know why I am! I guess simply because I've never gone on a date with a friend before.

I think he's right though, I think "we've always been more that friends" so it shouldn't be weird, but I am prepared for it not to feel datey straight away! Cause like I said it's not going to be a matter of dressing up fancy and going to a posh restaurant. But I'm sure I'm simply overthinking, i don't know why even, its silly! But i'm sure i'll feel better on the date!

[Shepp]

Great news!! :D:bunny:

 

I was friends with my wife first, I remember being damn nervous about our first official date. I think because i was putting so much pressure on it to be absorlutly amazing and convince her that i was the man for her - which is the kind of pressure you'd never put on a date normally! and because as opposed to a first date with a stranger, with a friend or a best friend you have SO much to gain and equally a lot to lose! Not that I'm trying to scare you but its normal to be nervous.

 

I guess my only advice would be - dont try to 180 your whole relationship thus far. As in youve got to this point through friendship so build on that, dont try to compartmentalise your friendship and start up a whole brand new dating realtionship, does that make sense?

When i went on my first offical date date with my wife, like within 15mins of me picking her up she was like "you're being weird, why are you being weird? .......look i wanted to go out with my Alfie, not this guy, so if hes going to turn up anytime soon, that'd be really great!" Which was great. It was what i needed to hear!!

 

He likes you. By the sounds of it, he's always liked you. He wants to go out with you. Remember that and you'll ace it!!

 

Hope you have a great time!!

[bluefeather]

Good luck and have fun!

[GemmaUK]

This is great news Butterfly!!

Also excellent advice from Shepp too!

 

He went away and thought about it properly from the sound of it and you gave him space to do that.

 

Something along Shepp's lines too is remember to up the touching a little more, unless he has a very good sense then you will need to lead just a little on that but take it slow, not too fast.

I can see (sorry not a pun!) a few kiss errors happening which if you are both being yourselves will have you in giggles.

 

Though, I think you two can happily negotiate this type of thing, you sound pretty close as it is.

I'm really pleased you said something to him. Enjoy!

[angel.eyes]

How exciting!:bunny:

 

I'm glad you took the plunge and said something to him. It's natural to be nervous. You're good friends already, which means you're going to be much more invested in the outcome than you would be on a first date with a random stranger. Just try to relax on the date. Remember, he already knows you well, so there's no risk of discovering some major incompatibility on the date. Flirt with him and keep up the banter. That will help you both transition from good platonic friends to something more romantic.

 

Let us know how it goes.

[ButterflyLion]

Aw thank you guys!! The date advice and all the advice, it's been seriously amazing!!

 

I had a really great time!! I guess he knows me well enough after all this time to pick a "first date" that's right up my street! So we had drinks and snacks at this little bar we both love that backs right onto the beach, and then we went down to the beach, which was pretty quiet on a Sunday evening, and just hung out you know? Built sandcastle like you did when you were a kid, spend at the beach I haven't done since I was a kid! And we tried to see if his echolocation skills and my directing skills were good enough we could play frisbee.. which they weren't! so we threw it for his dog instead! And yeah we had a little kiss or two which was nice too

I had a lot of fun but I think the best thing was that it just felt really really right which I was hoping it would

 

I totally get you Shepp, when I arrived he'd brought me flowers like a proper ol' fashioned gent! Which was really sweet, but also left me tongue tied for a few minutes in a way that I would never be normally around him (or hardly ever for that matter haha)!

 

Thanks Gemma! Yeah I hear you on the touching thing! He's got a really good sense, like I don't think you'd be able to tell he was blind, he can always tell if someone tries to sneak up on him, but you're right if I'm not talking to him sometimes he'll get the angle fractionally wrong regarding where you are in relation to him, that kinda thing!

He's not shy of expressing what he wants vocally though!! He said to me "you can hold my hand if you want, I know you fancy me after all" :rolleyes: (which of the downside of me telling him I like him!! I've signed up for a life time of "seeing as how you fancy me an all ). And obviously kidding blind is somewhat of a new challenge for him so he says that we'll have to 'practice'! Lots of practice

 

He did say though that he thinks we should keep us on the down low for a while yet, which i completely agree with! I think that's probably a good shout whenever you start dating a friend and even more so in this situation because I guess the reality is, people are going to have there own opinions. After all I was surprised by my sisters opinion! I think like you want to give a relationship a bit of time to grow before you tell the world. We are going out with mutual friends tomorrow though, which was a pre planned thing, and obviously none of them know, although he thinks that's "kinda hot" anyway

[Ronnys93]

I was ALL smiles reading about your date Butterfly. I'm really happy that this is working out for you both!

[bluefeather]

I was ALL smiles reading about your date Butterfly. I'm really happy that this is working out for you both!

 

lol I was going to say the same thing! This made me smile too ButterflyLion, thanks for sharing

[angel.eyes]

:bunny:

 

I'm so happy and excited for you! What a perfect date!

 

I agree. Keep the fact that you're dating quiet for now. You want to give things a chance to grow before it becomes public knowledge and you have to deal with everyone's meddling and "helpful" input about things that are wrong or could go wrong with your choice. Of course everyone is well-intentioned, but it's not what a budding relationship needs.

[Shepp]

That's awesome!! I'm super chuffed for you guys!

At the end of the day, nothing's guaranteed, but when two people simply get on with someone that well, you've gotta have a damn good shot!! - Someone told me that once (I cant take the credit:laugh:)

 

And yeah, theres no need to shout it too the world straight away! Not cause you have anything to hide, but because you should build a solid foundation before you let other people in!

I think when you're mates first, and have mutual friends, and mutual contacts, people will ALWAYS have their own opinions on you getting together! That's nothing to do with you, or him, or him being blind!

 

This my be taking too much from my own experience, but after me and the missus had been officially "dating" for a couple of months, all the main folks in our lives had pretty much been told so we just decided we'd go 'FB official' and everyone else could find out like that!

Honestly, i was surprised, I got one fella telling me at footie training that i was an idiot, that she'd never settle down with me, and I got someone else writing to me like "seriously? Only now? I thought you guys had been a couple for like at least a year?". But what struck me as odd, is that people would never have that much to say if you were dating a stranger, they would just trust your judgement, but when they know both parties i guess they just like to give you their two pennies worth more!!

I think whether people react positively or negatively, you shouldn't let it effect your relationship either way! But i also think that you're both the kind of people that will cope seamlessly with that! Best of luck to you both!

[JuneL]

Omg, this is such a lovely story!!