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Extremely Angry after break up...how did you guys get over this?

jellyfish666

By jellyfish666
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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jellyfish666 Member

jellyfish666

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I finally broke up with my bf of 2 years due to tons of issues..mentioned in another thread.

 

he was a major mama boy to a very narcissistic self centered woman and they had a creepy son-mother relationship where almost every holiday i would be left and he'd be spending with her alone (shes divorced, his dad remarried)

 

now its holiday season, breakup still fresh and im seeing his friends post pictures on social media (i didn't stalk, his friend just happened to be on my friend list and i was scrolling through in general)

and i saw a pic of my ex clubbing with his mom (yea, i know, totally weird right)

 

i was SO PISSED OFF when i saw it, I looked back and realized all the **** i had to put up with and so angry at myself for not cutting him loose earlier. im so angry at myself for even starting a relationship with such a guy

 

all my friends were like what a weird guy why is he glued to his mom 24/7..its so unhealthy.

and my ex still has the nerve to talk crap about me saying im the crazy one here for not understanding the unusual tight bond with his mother...JESUS CHRIST...

 

sometimes when they travel together they would sleep in same hotel room, whether to save cost or do what i do not know. and hes almost 30.

 

 

I learned so much from this relationship im grateful but i cant help but beat myself over it.

im a decent looking girl that doesnt have trouble getting guys, im pretty smart as well so i dont even know how i would end up in such a pathetic angry situation.

i feel so bad about myself and just venting...

 

i sincerely hope this is the last, absolute LAST holiday i talk to him still and hopefully he will be gone in my life for good good. i plan on moving to a different country in 2017 as i always wanted to and just start fresh completely.

 

 

 

just need to vent a bit....does anyone have any similar experience??

 

i feel relieved at same time that i will never have to deal with these two people in life again....sigh!

Edited by jellyfish666
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jellyfish666 Member

jellyfish666

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really...guess nobody wants to help here

Nadine123 Established Member

Nadine123

Posted
Posted

sometimes when they travel together they would sleep in same hotel room, whether to save cost or do what i do not kno

 

what is the problem with that? Im confused.

Ilovepizzalady Established Member

Ilovepizzalady

Posted
Posted

I am very confused why you are this angry.

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Formerfiveo Established Member

Formerfiveo

Posted
Posted

Don't beat yourself up over this. You learned a lot about yourself and what you want/don't want in a partner, and that's the whole point of dating.

 

Here's to a fresh start! Cheers.

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KatZee Established Member

KatZee

Posted
Posted

LOL.

 

I'm not laughing AT you. I'm laughing because I WAS you... and I can see now how I looked. If you want some entertainment.... And no. I am NOT confused why you are this angry. I get it.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/336622-how-do-i-get-past-anger

 

How do you get past it? Time, I guess was one thing. And the biggest? Forgive YOURSELF.

 

You by no means are obligated to forgive him for anything. I NEVER forgave my ex, and I will NEVER forgive my ex. But I finally had to forgive myself for staying with him longer than I should have, for ignoring red flags, excusing red flags, making excuses for his behavior, allowing him to treat me certain ways, allowing his friends to treat me poorly. I allowed SO MUCH and I realized that the intense hatred I had, and anger, was really at myself.

 

I HAD the reasons to walk away, I HAD the reasons to be angry and upset, instead? I rolled over like a dog. And laid down like a rug, and let him walk all over me.

 

When you come to terms with how much you sacrificed of yourself and forgive yourself? You'll move on.

 

But FYI--- I was stuck in anger for a good 6-8 months. Not even anger. Intense red hot fury. There wasn't one second I wasn't walking around cursing him out outloud.

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Ilovepizzalady Established Member

Ilovepizzalady

Posted
Posted
LOL.

 

I'm not laughing AT you. I'm laughing because I WAS you... and I can see now how I looked. If you want some entertainment.... And no. I am NOT confused why you are this angry. I get it.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/336622-how-do-i-get-past-anger

 

How do you get past it? Time, I guess was one thing. And the biggest? Forgive YOURSELF.

 

You by no means are obligated to forgive him for anything. I NEVER forgave my ex, and I will NEVER forgive my ex. But I finally had to forgive myself for staying with him longer than I should have, for ignoring red flags, excusing red flags, making excuses for his behavior, allowing him to treat me certain ways, allowing his friends to treat me poorly. I allowed SO MUCH and I realized that the intense hatred I had, and anger, was really at myself.

 

I HAD the reasons to walk away, I HAD the reasons to be angry and upset, instead? I rolled over like a dog. And laid down like a rug, and let him walk all over me.

 

When you come to terms with how much you sacrificed of yourself and forgive yourself? You'll move on.

 

But FYI--- I was stuck in anger for a good 6-8 months. Not even anger. Intense red hot fury. There wasn't one second I wasn't walking around cursing him out outloud.

 

Katzee! I see your post is from 2012. I would love to hear about your journey on how you got over your ex. I am only 4 months along.

KatZee Established Member

KatZee

Posted
Posted
Katzee! I see your post is from 2012. I would love to hear about your journey on how you got over your ex. I am only 4 months along.

 

Honestly, just time. And focusing on myself. Forgiving myself. Re-finding myself.

 

I reached out to old friends I lost touch with. I moved into my first apartment. I got a new car. I got a new phone. I started a different job. I got heavily involved in obstacle course racing. I went a good year and a half staying intentionally single, and just forgiving myself, and moving past all those horrible feelings. Anger, hate, disappointment, rage.

 

It's been five years, and sorry to say I haven't had a relationship since that guy. I've had a few interests, sure. Tons of dates. A few month long flings, but nothing that's really stuck. In that aspect, I'm really disappointed, but I guess it's just not my time.

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jellyfish666 Member

jellyfish666

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sorry i guess i wasnt clear on that part

basically his mom is like a 15 year old mean girl (snobby, constantly seeks attention etc) stuck in a 50 something year old woman's body.

shes always jealous when her son spends time with me or treats me good.

her son, my ex was stupid enough to even tell me that his mom would give him death stares and cut eyes whenever he mentions my name in front of her.

it was a nightmare to deal with

she constantly tries to come up with excuses to take her son away from me during holidays, whether it be xmas new years or whatever.

she even asks to come on vacation with us on valentines day, which i refused.

she doesn't get along with other women as well, something my ex told me himself. shes just very jealous and crazy.

she pops xanex on a regular basis and is addicted to sleeping drugs and uses them exceedingly to the point doctors refuse to prescribe them for her.

 

she loves to make people think she is rich, and lives in this mansion she cannot afford at all. she borrows money from loan sharks in order to hold down the mansion and is in huge debt..she makes her son do everything and live with her

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jellyfish666 Member

jellyfish666

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[quote=I'm not laughing AT you. I'm laughing because I WAS you... and I can see now how I looked. If you want some entertainment.... And no. I am NOT confused why you are this angry. I get it.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/336622-how-do-i-get-past-anger

 

How do you get past it? Time, I guess was one thing. And the biggest? Forgive YOURSELF.

 

You by no means are obligated to forgive him for anything. I NEVER forgave my ex, and I will NEVER forgive my ex. But I finally had to forgive myself for staying with him longer than I should have, for ignoring red flags, excusing red flags, making excuses for his behavior, allowing him to treat me certain ways, allowing his friends to treat me poorly. I allowed SO MUCH and I realized that the intense hatred I had, and anger, was really at myself.

 

I HAD the reasons to walk away, I HAD the reasons to be angry and upset, instead? I rolled over like a dog. And laid down like a rug, and let him walk all over me.

 

When you come to terms with how much you sacrificed of yourself and forgive yourself? You'll move on.

 

But FYI--- I was stuck in anger for a good 6-8 months. Not even anger. Intense red hot fury. There wasn't one second I wasn't walking around cursing him out outloud.

 

 

 

wow thanks so much i read your post. yes there was so much anger in there...im glad u are in a better place now

 

i know in my heart it wont take that long to get over it. yes getting a new job, moving to a new place etc does help indeed. glad you were able to do that

im also in the process of starting a completely new life

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