What are the rules with FWB?

[Kamille]

I don't even know where to begin. Perhaps with the Donkey you mask. So... Let me get this straight... You had one all along? Okay...

 

Fetishes aside (those are fine), have you considered that perhaps you're not built for monogamy? Polyamory is easier nowadays thanks to on-line dating. Perhaps that is the lifestyle for you? Get a value-pack of condoms, be honest with everyone and have fun.

[jen1447]

Haha ....couple things -

 

1, women who are 'working it/owning it'/whatever often have lots of luck bc we broadcast desirability signals pretty widely, so don't feel bad about that. You're just on.

 

2, DON'T move in w the ex.

 

3, If FWB jumped straight to the slave stuff, that means sub kink is a major player in his psyche. Bear that in mind going forward bc if you're not as into it, what'll most likely happen is you'll just lose respect for him with his subby ways.

 

4, did they really both wear the donkey mask?

[TheWhittler]

Haha ....couple things -

 

1, women who are 'working it/owning it'/whatever often have lots of luck bc we broadcast desirability signals pretty widely, so don't feel bad about that. You're just on.

 

2, DON'T move in w the ex.

 

3, If FWB jumped straight to the slave stuff, that means sub kink is a major player in his psyche. Bear that in mind going forward bc if you're not as into it, what'll most likely happen is you'll just lose respect for him with his subby ways.

 

4, did they really both wear the donkey mask?

 

I don't think I am working it or owning it. To be honest I am just a messed up blob of messed upness. All this sex as well! I mean for goodness sake its been months. MONTHS! Even when we were together the ex didn't go at it this much!

 

I don't want to move in with the ex but he has other ideas.

 

The really weird ironic thing about it all is that they were both really keen on the donkey mask. As soon as I mentioned it they went for it. It was really strange but highly erotic and I was so turned on by it. I have frightened myself a bit as well.

 

The FWB has a few marks on his buttocks and thighs still... I don't think he is totally submissive as he is a straight up kind of guy. He took the lead and I gave him his "orders"! It was very very erotic. Lunch was... involved. Frothy. But still involved food.

 

I guess I better pack up the rubber donkey mask and get it sent back. Kamille - It was sent to me in error (my actual order was something completely different and very boring, Christmas table clothes). I hope who ever ends up buying it has as much fun as I did with it...

 

I still do not know what to say to the guy I am meeting tonight. What if he asks how my weekend was? I can't exactly reply Oh it was great I had a new FWB and my ex running round in a donkey mask and had so much sex I am surprised I can still walk now can I???

[TheWhittler]

Whats Poloamory?

 

Is that like the woman in the film Paint your wagon?

 

I don't want to have sex with other females.

 

Just one male woudl be nice. Two is getting confusing and I just can't stop thinking about the donkey mask...

[jen1447]

I still do not know what to say to the guy I am meeting tonight.

 

Tell him you've got a donkey mask you expect him to wear ....

 

What is it that appeals to you about that btw? I know a lot of our kinks are pretty subconscious so I don't expect you to know real explicitly but how does it get you off? You may actually be a domme in hiding w that and all the slave stuff. Bad girl.

 

Don't sent it back btw - it was obvs a windfall for you so roll w it sister.

[jen1447]

Whats Poloamory?

 

Polyamory is the evil act of evil women exploiting vulnerable men for their own evil gains by not abiding by typical social norms and daring to love more than one person at a time. It's a total lie and very evil.

 

Actually polyamory is very simply the practice of having more than one concurrent romantic relationship at a time.

[Shanex]

Polyamory is the evil act of evil women exploiting vulnerable men for their own evil gains by not abiding by typical social norms and daring to love more than one person at a time. It's a total lie and very evil.

 

Actually polyamory is very simply the practice of having more than one concurrent romantic relationship at a time.

 

Aye, the definition is accurate.

 

Some people mistake polygamy for polyamory.

 

Polygamy : multiple wives

Polyamory : multiple partners (some of whom you develop feelings for).

[jen1447]

Polyamory : multiple partners (some of whom you develop feelings for).

 

Actually not quite - in poly circles it's clearly understood that ORs and promiscuity are distinct from polyamory. Polyamory is specifically having multiple romantic relationships (i.e. feelings, love, all that - not just sex) at the same time.

 

Just having multiple sexual partners is being promiscuous (not meant as a negative) and 'open,' playing the field, having fun, not settling down, etc., etc.

 

Poly and open can coexist, like w me, but they're not one and the same and they can and do exist independently too.

[Miss Peach]

I agree with the other advice not to move in with the ex. It seems he's the type of wants what he can't have.

 

Whats the harm in dating both if that's what you want? I've dabbled in poly and the part that's hardest for me is splitting my attention like that. As long as you don't mind them doing the same then enjoy it.

[TheWhittler]

Went on my date last night. He didn't ask but hinted at other men. I just changed the subject. Lovely guy. I was a bit turned off by my own behavior and I am hoping that didn't show through too much as the new guy is lovely.

 

The donkey mask has been sent back. I think its safer that way.

 

I don't know if I want relationships with either the FWB or my ex. The ex is an ex for a reason and the FWB I just don't know. He is texting all the time and constantly checking up on me so I think he wants more.

 

I really like the new guy...

 

Life was so much simpler with no men in it. I don't want lots of men just one. I also do not want them sleeping with other women...

[CommittedToThis]

I'm recently single and after a few proper dates I ended up randomly meeting a woman at the market and we've become FWB's somehow.

 

First "date" was her simply coming to my house for drinks, which led to sex. Second "date" was simply walking her dog, then drinks at her house, which led to sex. Third "date" was an afternoon hanging around a little mountain village, which led to drinks, which led to my house, which led to sex.

 

I knew instantly when I met this woman that she was not my ideal as far as relationship material goes; knowing this has made it easy to have no reservations whatsoever as far as just being friends with her and enjoying the f*cking.

 

From my end, I have been uncharacteristically distant with her in-between dates. Very few texts or calls. My feeling is if I want some, I'll call her, and vice-versa.

 

From her end, she has told me she's happily single and not looking to be seriously involved unless the right guy came along.

 

So, all in all, it's a situation I'm enjoying very much, despite the fact that no donkey masks have been involved (great stories by the way).

 

On a side note, I found the thoughts on women and masturbation very interesting, especially how someone said the act could possibly increase obsessive thoughts of whoever they're thinking about. For me, masturbation generally decreases sexual thoughts of the person I'm thinking about, for the short-term anyway (until I've got the hornies again).

[TheWhittler]

OK so things got a little... erm...

 

Don't quite know how to say this so just going to blurt it out. You will understand why I am in bit of a pickle...

 

Went out for drinks with ex as he was dropping me off things we getting "fruity". Walked (crashed) through my door. FWB had broken in and had been waiting for me with the anticipation of a repeat of what has been going on for the past week and a half... Ended up with both... Before anyone asks it actually ended up better than any of my fantasies about it... Both knew I had always had that fantasy and so both wanted to please me.

 

Was fine at the time but now FWB is getting very clingy, Ex is getting clingy... Who should I choose?

[central]

It seems to me that you should choose neither. Both are getting clingy, and it seems that you don't want things to go further into relationship territory. Maybe enjoy another threesome, and then start the year off resolving to find someone new - and let them know kindly that it is over as what they want is not what you want or need.

[TheWhittler]

OK so I tried last night.

 

Called the FWB. I ended up crying he is coming round tonight to talk.

 

Called the Ex and said we should remain exes. He really doesn't want to and thinks we should try again...

 

This is getting really messy. Had a second date with new guy after I made the calls. It went really well and he is absolutely gorgeous. Such a gentleman. Now worried that after such shenanigans that "normal" sex just isn't going to cut it for me any more.

[Cali408]

OK so I tried last night.

 

Called the FWB. I ended up crying he is coming round tonight to talk.

 

Called the Ex and said we should remain exes. He really doesn't want to and thinks we should try again...

 

This is getting really messy. Had a second date with new guy after I made the calls. It went really well and he is absolutely gorgeous. Such a gentleman. Now worried that after such shenanigans that "normal" sex just isn't going to cut it for me any more.

 

Normal sex is like a normal meal. You can't have twin lobsters all the time. Sometimes sure, most of the time you need to settle for cod.

 

Good for you on the threesome. Congratulations on meeting the new guy. You're really overthinking this.

 

Ex, should remain an ex

FWB, is a waste of time. Seriously, spending 2 hours being friends just so you can have a poke? You can still have sex with him until you are exclusive.

 

New guy, gorgeous and a gentleman. Pursue slowly and enjoy the courtship.

 

Win Win all the way around

[TheWhittler]

The ex is really upset that I am dating again. He keeps promising to change. He is doing a load of things around the house and keeps spoiling me. Its leaving me confused.

 

The FWB is so sweet. he treats me like a princess and keeps telling me that I am wonderful and a real catch. He isn't ready for a relationship but he says I am a catch for any man.

 

The new guy... I ended it. He was so sweet and such a gent but I just couldn't take it further...

 

I worry that I am attracted to "bad boys" but I don't think so because both the ex and FWB are very attentive.

 

I think I should keep the ex as an ex as well its just so hard when he is there and when I know him so well. Its like coming home. But the FWB is new and fresh (and younger...)

[elaine567]

I think I should keep the ex as an ex as well its just so hard when he is there and when I know him so well. Its like coming home. But the FWB is new and fresh (and younger...)

 

There will be feelings involved here with the ex so he is not just someone you can play around with. It is cruel to string him along thinking he has a chance with you, letting him do things for you and allowing him to be generally attentive to you.

Great ego boost for you having two guys fighting for your attention, but they are not just pawns in your game.

If you want the ex to remain an ex tell him so and do not let him live in false hope.