Is my BIL attracted to me?

[stillafool]

That is if the BIL wants her but I think that is mostly wishful thinking and totally in her mind.

[jen1447]

Can anyone take a guess at his intentions?

 

I see 2 possibilities ....

 

- He wants you. (He's acting that way, yes. There's a subtext ppl can most always read and you're reading it.)

- He's sizing you up to orchestrate this betrayal he predicted to your BF.

 

Also could be both.

[Relentless1]

I predict that this poster is going to go ahead and sleep with the BIL no matter what anyone here says, as nothing seems to matter to her but getting her muffin buttered. Not even her own child.

 

I would never do anything to hurt my child or relationship. I wouldn't do anything if I thought there was the smallest chance of it getting out. Fact is I'm just really confused.

 

 

I don't think it's anything to do with me "looking at him" as I've always done my best to avoid looking at him as I used to find him quite intimidating and him staring wasn't helping. Not that he ever did anything wrong to me, it was just a vibe I got and I was really shy.

[Relentless1]

That is if the BIL wants her but I think that is mostly wishful thinking and totally in her mind.

 

It's not wishful thinking, I was never attracted to him before and I didn't like him as a person either.

[ChickiePops]

I would never do anything to hurt my child or relationship. I wouldn't do anything if I thought there was the smallest chance of it getting out. Fact is I'm just really confused.

 

 

I don't think it's anything to do with me "looking at him" as I've always done my best to avoid looking at him as I used to find him quite intimidating and him staring wasn't helping. Not that he ever did anything wrong to me, it was just a vibe I got and I was really shy.

 

There is ALWAYS a chance of it getting out..the only time a secret is safe is if everyone who knows it is dead. And if you bang your boyfriend's married brother, you ARE hurting your relationship and your child.

 

Most of the other OW here are emotionally attached to their MM. They come here because they're in serious pain from their affairs. And here you are, desperately pining over your boyfriend's brother and putting all these relationships in danger (your relationship with your boyfriend, your relationship with your child, your boyfriends relationship with his own family, the brother's marriage and his relationship with his kids, your relationship with your daughters' family..and on and on) simply because you're horny. No emotional attachments..nothing.

 

I seriously doubt you will garner much sympathy here from anyone, let alone any of the OW here.

 

I truly hope you pull your brain out of your vagina and keep it in your pants.

[stillafool]

I would never do anything to hurt my child or relationship. I wouldn't do anything if I thought there was the smallest chance of it getting out. Fact is I'm just really confused.

 

 

So you're still wanting to do it.

 

What is there to be confused about?

[Grapesofwrath]

Relentless: Try to imagine a day in the future when your daughter asks you if it's true that you had sex with her uncle. How will you feel? You will be faced with the hideous choice of lying to your child and hoping she doesn't find out the truth, or being honest with her and losing her respect forever.

 

What kind of mom do you want to be?

[Relentless1]

So you're still wanting to do it.

 

What is there to be confused about?

 

I'm confused because I don't know what he's thinking. Some signs lead to me thinking he likes me, others lead me to thinking he doesn't like me in any matter but is just being polite. I don't know how to act towards him especially if he doesn't like me because I'd rather just not speak to someone who doesn't like me at all. This question was not about planning an affair. I just don't know how to read him.

[Relentless1]

There is ALWAYS a chance of it getting out..the only time a secret is safe is if everyone who knows it is dead. And if you bang your boyfriend's married brother, you ARE hurting your relationship and your child.

 

Most of the other OW here are emotionally attached to their MM. They come here because they're in serious pain from their affairs. And here you are, desperately pining over your boyfriend's brother and putting all these relationships in danger (your relationship with your boyfriend, your relationship with your child, your boyfriends relationship with his own family, the brother's marriage and his relationship with his kids, your relationship with your daughters' family..and on and on) simply because you're horny. No emotional attachments..nothing.

 

I seriously doubt you will garner much sympathy here from anyone, let alone any of the OW here.

 

I truly hope you pull your brain out of your vagina and keep it in your pants.

 

 

I'm not looking for sympathy or for anyone to say it's all OK. I'm not very good at Reading him so just wanted other opinions. This post wasn't about starting an affair or even having one.

[stillafool]

Treat him like your boyfriends brother which is to be polite. If he likes you he likes you as his brothers gf and if you don't stop thinking about him you won't be that anymore. Next time you're there instead of sitting around him try going in the kitchen and hanging out with his wife. I swear, if I were you I would feel so guilty for having those thoughts yet all you can think about is if he like you or not. BTW, how are you not going to speak to your bfs brother when you are over there? Do you speak to the rest of his family? If not, why do you go?

[Relentless1]

Treat him like your boyfriends brother which is to be polite. If he likes you he likes you as his brothers gf and if you don't stop thinking about him you won't be that anymore. Next time you're there instead of sitting around him try going in the kitchen and hanging out with his wife. I swear, if I were you I would feel so guilty for having those thoughts yet all you can think about is if he like you or not. BTW, how are you not going to speak to your bfs brother when you are over there? Do you speak to the rest of his family? If not, why do you go?

 

I can't help what I'm thinking. My hands physically shake when I get near him I'm that nervous. I do not enjoy feeling like that. I don't try to sit around him quite the opposite in fact I avoid having to speak to him as much as possible.

[ChickiePops]

I'm not looking for sympathy or for anyone to say it's all OK. I'm not very good at Reading him so just wanted other opinions. This post wasn't about starting an affair or even having one.

 

Then why do you need to know if he's attracted to you?

[sandylee1]

Nobody here is mystic Meg. We have no real way to know if he's attracted to you. His actions as you describe them are not fully overt.

 

Worst case scenario. .... he does like you. Then what? You want to get into bed with your boyfriend's brother. Your daughter's uncle. Assume it will get out if you sleep with him.

 

Do you want the family to shame you?

To call you a wh**e?

You have a daughter with your BF, if you split up. ... he still has to see you. He can't go total no contact and the sight of your face will forever be a reminder for him.

 

Please get a grip. If you feel your BF doesn't love you ... talk to him .... Spice up your life. ...or leave him. But how do you think sex with his brother is a solution.

 

His brother has a wife ... there are many people who could get hurt all for the sake of you wanting a romp.

 

You need to look deep into yourself and ask why you'd do this.

 

Some people are just a no go.

 

I had a woman, whose mother had an affair with her partner. The family is in tatters.

 

Don't go there.

[Relentless1]

Then why do you need to know if he's attracted to you?

 

I'm curious because his behaviour makes it hard to tell

[BuddyX]

I'm curious because his behaviour makes it hard to tell

 

Who gives a rip what he's thinking. He's not your man. And it's a no win situation. If he tells you Yes then what will happen? You'll drop your BF and run to him? If he says No (not interested) you'll be crushed?

 

But here's the deal. If you get the shakes around him, you need to ask yourself why you don't have the same feelings for your boyfriend. Maybe you and BF are not right for each other. Just saying.

[ChickiePops]

I'm curious because his behaviour makes it hard to tell

 

Right but..if you weren't planning to sleep with him, you wouldn't care either way whether or not he was attracted to you. So that can only mean that you want to have an affair with him and that you would if he wanted to.

[stillafool]

I can't help what I'm thinking. My hands physically shake when I get near him I'm that nervous. I do not enjoy feeling like that. I don't try to sit around him quite the opposite in fact I avoid having to speak to him as much as possible.

 

Then stop going over there and stop being around him. You want him so bad that you are projecting his interest in you. It sounds like you have had a secret crush on him before you even got with your bf. To answer your question, no I don't think he wants you but is imused by your crush on him.

[ShatteredLady]

He thought that you were way too young for his brother. Sounds like he was correct. You're too emotionally immature for a family relationship but you gave birth to his niece so you're now a permanent (ish) fixture in his family.

 

If he believed that you are not mature enough for his YOUNGER brother to shag I seriously doubt he would consider going there. AND HE'S MARRIED!! AND A FATHER! & A UNCLE!!

 

It takes a particular kind of slime to consider sexual relations with FAMILY. Unless they have very warped, sibling rivalry my guess is he's trying to deal with a young 'lady' who has an inappropriate crush on him...he's probably in denial because, as I said, it's pretty sick to want to f**k family.

 

To your knowledge have the brothers had sex with eachothers girlfriends in the past? Believe it or not some are very messed-up people & do sick things like that. :sick:

[Relentless1]

He thought that you were way too young for his brother. Sounds like he was correct. You're too emotionally immature for a family relationship but you gave birth to his niece so you're now a permanent (ish) fixture in his family.

 

If he believed that you are not mature enough for his YOUNGER brother to shag I seriously doubt he would consider going there. AND HE'S MARRIED!! AND A FATHER! & A UNCLE!!

 

It takes a particular kind of slime to consider sexual relations with FAMILY. Unless they have very warped, sibling rivalry my guess is he's trying to deal with a young 'lady' who has an inappropriate crush on him...he's probably in denial because, as I said, it's pretty sick to want to f**k family.

 

To your knowledge have the brothers had sex with eachothers girlfriends in the past? Believe it or not some are very messed-up people & do sick things like that. :sick:

 

 

If he's trying to "deal with an inappropriate crush" then why the hell does he sit there staring at me with his tongue nearly hanging out?? I actually always had a crush on my bf, like I said I didn't even like BIL before.

[Relentless1]

And why does he get an attitude with me when he sees me talking or laughing with other men? If it was an inappropriate crush on my behalf, surely he wouldn't care?

[stillafool]

If he's trying to "deal with an inappropriate crush" then why the hell does he sit there staring at me with his tongue nearly hanging out?? I actually always had a crush on my bf, like I said I didn't even like BIL before.

 

Then what is it that has you on fire for him now?

[Relentless1]

Then what is it that has you on fire for him now?

 

I think the problems in my relationship have made me more curious about an inkling I've had for a while.

[Relentless1]

The inkling being that he possibly is attracted to me.

[stillafool]

Do you work or stay at home?

[ShatteredLady]

And why does he get an attitude with me when he sees me talking or laughing with other men? If it was an inappropriate crush on my behalf, surely he wouldn't care?

 

 

Maybe because you are his BROTHERS life partner & his nieces mother!! He thinks you're too young. Maybe he's suspecting & waiting for you to cheat???

 

 

I know we often consider all men scum on this forum but REALLY???? A very tiny percentage of men would do something as disgusting as have sex with their FAMILY!!

 

You should be sexually blind to this man & him you.