sanne Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 So I was feeling a little down today for some reason so i decided to go out for a drive and get something to eat. I'm on my way to Quizno's when I hear the all too familiar *beep*beep* of my phone which means someone sent me a txt message. My ex is the only person on the planet who would ever send me a text message so I check the message. The first one went like this: "Im not trying to start anything, I just want to know if your happy?" Of course I don't respond, and then 15 minutes later I get another text saying: "Well nevermind. I shouldn't have sent you anything." What do you guys make of this, it's been about 5 days of NC thus far. Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 I think your ex wants to know if you are hurting. I don't think you can read much more into it than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sanne Posted July 11, 2005 Author Share Posted July 11, 2005 well i don't want her to think that I am hurting. should i just send her a reply saying I'm fine? do you think she is happy right now, and wants to make sure i'm ok or is she unhappy with the situation too? arghhhh this just pisses me off to no end i swear. goddamn i feel like crap now. i was doing ok today and these past few days but now i have this terrible longing in my stomach. now my urge to contact her is almost 10X greater than before. i'm going for a drive. Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 She said she is not trying to start anything, so she's probably just curious to know how you are. Sending back "I'm fine, how are you?" won't hurt, unless it's going to stir up emotions in you again. If so, then just leave things be for now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sanne Posted July 11, 2005 Author Share Posted July 11, 2005 yea i sent her a small reply saying exactly what you wrote zaira, "i'm fine. how are you?". Link to post Share on other sites
Author sanne Posted July 11, 2005 Author Share Posted July 11, 2005 well that's not quite the response i was expecting: "I feel so bad about the way things ended. You probably don't want to but i would like to take you to six flags still. my treat" Link to post Share on other sites
Drivetildriven Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Your reply was fine. I don't know why girls do crap like that. My woman broke with me (after three yrs) then last week, she sent my sisters and several of my chick friends each an email saying how great she was doing, blah, blah, blah, and how she misses and loves everyone, but she and I are on good terms and our breakup was for the best. She is the only one on good terms. I'm trying to get over her and that crap just brought me back down to the floor. Just play it cool, stick to NC as much as you can. Maybe she'll start wondering even more. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Originally posted by sanne well that's not quite the response i was expecting: "I feel so bad about the way things ended. You probably don't want to but i would like to take you to six flags still. my treat" Wh a! How do you feel about that? I dunno.. IMO she is still hoping for something to perhaps change between the 2 of you, obviously she isn't willing to just let this or you go... but on the other hand what kind of message is that? She feels bad for how things ended so she wants to take you to six flags? Is that suppose to be the parting gift or consolations prize? Sheesh... Be careful in whatever you decide to do or how you choose to respond... think about a few things... 1) If she was wanting to try again would you want too? 2) If she ISN'T wanting to try again but wants to keep the friendship is that something you would be okay with? 3) If she isn't sure of what she wants but she is wanting to keep you hangin so to speak until she decides how are you going to feel about that? Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Drivetildriven Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 She broke up with you, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sanne Posted July 11, 2005 Author Share Posted July 11, 2005 I just don't understand her at all. First she sends me a message saying that she's not trying to start anything, making it seem like she only is interested in how i am doing. Then she asks me if I want to go to six flags with her? If she was just checking up on me then why the hell would she ask me to go with her to six flags. Women........i swear, they are impossible to understand. I'm gonna sleep this one over, as much as I dislike my ex at times a free trip to six flags is always up my alley. Link to post Share on other sites
Drivetildriven Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Yeah, but if she just wants to be friends, can you handle that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sanne Posted July 11, 2005 Author Share Posted July 11, 2005 well i have a feeling i'm not thinking rationally at this point, so i told her i'd get back to her tomorrow about the whole six flags thing. hopefully some sense will kick into me and i'll just say that i don't wanna go. man that would be harsh though, she's really anxious and excited to go to six flags. Link to post Share on other sites
Drivetildriven Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 I dunno man. It might be in your best interest to say thanks but no thanks. I don't understand women and their BS mind games. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sanne Posted July 11, 2005 Author Share Posted July 11, 2005 NC is easy when your ex isn't contacting you. Once that happens it gets infinitely harder. She just sent me two more messages: "I promise we will have fun and i won't be bitchy at all" "And I'll drive!!!" Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Originally posted by sanne NC is easy when your ex isn't contacting you. Once that happens it gets infinitely harder. She just sent me two more messages: "I promise we will have fun and i won't be bitchy at all" "And I'll drive!!!" Dang, ask if her if I can come too!? She isn't making these easy for you... just be careful Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Originally posted by sanne NC is easy when your ex isn't contacting you. Tell me about it She just sent me two more messages: "I promise we will have fun and i won't be bitchy at all" "And I'll drive!!!" If you can handle going as friends, then do it. You've got nothing to lose, have you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sanne Posted July 11, 2005 Author Share Posted July 11, 2005 ah what the hell, it's a free trip to six flags. damn you women, you make relationships so needlessly complex.... Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Originally posted by sanne ah what the hell, it's a free trip to six flags. damn you women, you make relationships so needlessly complex.... You men are just as complicated Enjoy yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sanne Posted July 11, 2005 Author Share Posted July 11, 2005 men complicated??? food, sex, shutup. repeat. Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Originally posted by sanne men complicated??? food, sex, shutup. repeat. that is what you want us to think...you are all softies deep down Link to post Share on other sites
IfiKnewThen Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 i think she wants to be moe then friends. i think she really does miss you and wants you back but i dont want to get your hopes. just act more confident around her and i dont mean cocky..but cool and self assured. and let her do all the talking woman love that. then make her wonder what you think of her. and then say have a nice day..and make her long for you more lol. yikes am i telling males too much? then when she admits to being interested still...let her know you feel the same but that you need to resove your problems. ok ok i went far into the future and was hoping for the best. but if it has potential...just protect it by going slow and steady. (whatever that means) Link to post Share on other sites
pippen_2k Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 I guarantee you the same thing that happened to me, will happen to you! I got a similar message off my ex a few months back...asking if I was happy...... man she just feels guilty for breaking your heart..thats it... nothing more! We went out for dinner the following night, just as friends, and man what a mistake that was..... THAT WAS MORE THAN I COULD HANDLE!... Sure I acted good while I was with her, but when I got back home I was a mess. I didnt like the distance between us, its a big step back to what your used to. But she will definatley make herself feel better, as she will think you no longer think she was a bitch for what she did to you. I know your gonna go anywayz, hell I probably would too, but when she crushes you again dont forget that 'I told ya so' Hope all goes well dude. Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Pippen is saying correct, she is thinking like taking you to six flags will atone her wrongdoings. If you want to absolve her of all her guilt consciousness then go ahead or else put the cap on this. You could say something like if she wants to come back with you then only you want to entertain her or else NC. Link to post Share on other sites
J dub Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 I'm a girl and I can tell you from a womans perspective she is feeling guilty and wants to know you are ok with it (or if youre not, she wants to know so she can feel the power of knowing she still has you on her leash). I wouldnt go, just say you'd love to but you cant, and leave it at that. You need to make her wonder if anything else, otherwise youre just eating right out of her hand like she wants you to. Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Next time she asks you whether you are happy or Ok - ask her why is she concerned about whatever happens to you ? If she is that much concerned then why did she leave you ? Just tell her to mind her own business. Link to post Share on other sites
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