smackie9 Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 Well if you want him to know how serious you are, you sleep separately, make sure there are no joint accounts, nothing is in your name like bills, or shared credit cards. Also seek out legal council about child support/joint custody because this will affect your fiances depending on which direction you choose to go with. Once you both have agreed on that, then you can calculate what you can afford. Discuss what you are going to able to take with you, like furniture etc. If you go with joint custody 50/50, then you may have to purchase new beds for the kids, etc. next, contact the school and arrange counseling for the kids, because they are going to need it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sunkissedpatio Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 I wanted to comment on confronting the OW for more details. Don't bother, even if they did cut it off she will never be honest with you ot care about how all this felt to you. Shortly after my split I confronted the OW in my situation (he and she were in a store in my neighbourhood) and in a split second I decided I'd confront them and see what her reaction was just to see if she was lied to as well or a part of it. She was 100% a complice and couldnt care less he was engaged to me and sleeping in the same bed as me while their affair started. I was glad I confronted as far as seeing if she was a dirty skank like him, and she was, but her loyalty was with him. They too met at work and had an emotional affair for quite some time before our split. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 While you're saving up, tell him you are not sure you want the relationship anymore and you want an in house seperation while you think about it. Him moving out to give you space would be better off course. You can coparent effectively if you split up. Keep the interests of your kids as a priority. Did he confess the kiss to you? How did you find out about it all? Forgiving once is enough. A second stepping out would l indicate to me, that the relationship isn't that important to loose or the risk is worth loosing me. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 Be careful with how much you tell him as regards separating as he may just take all the money out of your accounts and leave you little to "save up" with and he may tell you to fight him in court if you want your share. Sometimes better to lie low, get your ducks in order first, then announce you are are leaving. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kmack513 Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Why aren't you married after 8 years and 2 kids together ? Show him the door. Get child support and if you have been cohabiting, then look into your laws and get alimony for yourself. He could do the same. Show her the door and file for child support. Link to post Share on other sites
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