Taking time off of dating

[Miss Peach]

Makes sense and very smart.

 

But how would you know whether he really likes you or is playing the game?

 

So before I meet a guy or the first several dates I don't care as much. I keep seeing other guys. I never chase men but I do reciprocate, compliment, and appreciate them. I have to enjoy his company and not see any flags to keep seeing him.

 

I don't care whether he likes me or not. If he's doing that I don't like HIM. I spent a lot of time working on my boundaries, ability to be vulnerable, and confidence so it's actually pretty unattractive to me now (though I admit it used to attract me).

 

Pulling back a tiny bit due to something like a busy day is one thing but if it's a pattern or the guy takes it too far I assume that's all a guy is willing to give and it's game over. If it's the tiny but I really am so busy in my own life not obsessing over him that I really don't notice.

 

The guys I choose as my BF are the ones who stand above the rest.

 

I enjoy single life but I also enjoy coupled life. A guy has to seem pretty great though to get me away from my single life.

[Toodaloo]

But not all guys are like this one. They why dating is so hard for me. Ive been told in the past that I was a great guy, a good guy, a 9 out of 10. But then I get judged bc the guy before me was a total jerk with no manners or respect. So, the "nice" guy that you just met doesn't get the time of day.

 

Crock of ****. If all a guy has going for him is that he is "nice"? Its a poor show.

 

How about asiring to be greater than nice?

 

Nice is a non word that people use when its alright but not up to par.

 

So how about aiming for being a gentleman, honest, kind, diligent, caring... All of those things are far better than just being "nice" and are far more likely to get a date. More so from someone like me.

 

I KNOW all guys are not like my ex. Thankfully I have plenty of other exes, my brother, father, uncles, grandparents, bosses, friends etc that have been far better and not one was ever described as "nice". They were always something far more and they did not treat me in such a despicable way. All in all I like men. I just refuse to date one where the only thing anyone can say about them is that they are "nice".

 

I thought I was doing something "wrong" by not going for the "nice" guy. Actually I was doing something right, I just hadn't met the one I got on with yet. So I ended up wasting years believing that it was my fault and my problem because everyone else kept telling me how "nice" my ex was. Never ever again.

[William]

Folks, this thread is about taking time off from dating and, in particular, the milieu of our thread starter, Lorenza, in her dating journey. Threads are available elsewhere, for free, to discuss one's own dating challenges and successes or more general aspects of dating. If fact, that space is unlimited. Please focus on the thread starter and their break from dating. Thanks!