My husband went out without his wedding ring

[elaine567]

Our daughter was born a week later. After she was born he wouldn't help at all. I've chosen to breastfeed her, which isn't common here, and he judges it. Even in front of the midwife he was judging it. His family judges it too.

 

I was all set to get defensive over breastfeeding in the UK, BUT I find you are right; breast feeding rates in the UK are shocking.

UK 'world's worst' at breastfeeding

As for this cheating idiot, he is not marriage material, so you need to get away from him and his unsupportive family ASAP.

Make arrangements to go home with your baby.

I highly doubt he will make a song and dance about you leaving taking his child with you, he will probably be secretly relieved.

Do not stick around waiting for him to grow up and for him to bond with this child, it may never happen.

In the process you will be miserable and he may one day just walk out on you anyway.

[stillafool]

As we told you before he is cheating on you and I think you know this. Now what are you going to do about this to help yourself?

[oldshirt]

I highly doubt he will make a song and dance about you leaving taking his child with you, he will probably be secretly relieved.

Do not stick around waiting for him to grow up and for him to bond with this child, it may never happen.

In the process you will be miserable and he may one day just walk out on you anyway.

 

I agree that he will be relieved and will be fine with having you and the baby go. That way he can bring chicks home instead of staying at his buddy's house all the time.

 

He may grumble and growl a little bit about losing his Wife Appliance to do things around the house which will mean that he will have to pull his own hairballs out of the shower and scrape the crusted ravioli off of the pans himself, but I doubt their will be many tears shed about being relieved of his husband and father responsibilities.

 

This guy may be fun and sexy at the pub but is simply not husband/father material and was a poor choice in a mate. Time to cut your losses and move on and salvage the other 60 years of your life.

 

Where my opinion differs with Elaine, is that I think him walking away will be taking a burden off of you and will be a relief to you.

 

The worst case scenario here is that is stays in the house and just becomes another child for you to take care of and keep out of jail.

 

Some people are assets and are a help and a benefit to you.

 

Others are a burden and a liability and cause more trouble and difficulty than they are worth.

 

He is clearly one of the latter.

 

When you two split up (and it is inevitable) you may be sad and upset for awhile. But that will be sadness and disruption over the loss of what you thought you were going to have.

 

However within a few months you will realize that a burden and a set of problems have been taken off of your shoulders and you will be more at peace and contentment than you were with him around.

[BluesPower]

Sheet heart, I am sorry...

 

He is still doing it and you know he is.

 

It is time to leave, what country are you from and how hard is it to get back.

 

This is not the guy for you, I don't think he ever was...

[ShatteredLady]

I was all set to get defensive over breastfeeding in the UK, BUT I find you are right; breast feeding rates in the UK are shocking.

UK 'world's worst' at breastfeeding

As for this cheating idiot, he is not marriage material, so you need to get away from him and his unsupportive family ASAP.

Make arrangements to go home with your baby.

I highly doubt he will make a song and dance about you leaving taking his child with you, he will probably be secretly relieved.

Do not stick around waiting for him to grow up and for him to bond with this child, it may never happen.

In the process you will be miserable and he may one day just walk out on you anyway.

 

 

Im English & I was about to jump on this too!! I even googled percentage of English mothers who breastfeed so I could 'hit you' with statistics...yep! I saw that article too & I was dumb struck!! I guess it's because I'm an older Mum & none of my friends had kids young. EVERY SINGLE MOTHER I know has breastfed their babies. Every family I know would judge you for NOT breastfeeding.

 

Can I ask what part of England you live in? All cities have huge populations you're not giving anonymity away. You can't possibly be in London?? I've never heard anything like it. "All englishmen cheat! It's taken for granted!" NO! NO! NO! I've NEVER known a woman who would tolerate this cr*p!!! His family should be ashamed with themselves!!!

 

I know what it's like to relocate to another country. I moved from London too Dallas USA for my husband. It's so bloody hard! How dare he go out acting like a lad leaving you home alone pregnant?!? EVEN WORSE now with a young child!! Men do NOT act like this in England. He is feeding you a load of bollocks! Please don't believe this!!!

 

I have lived in the USA (I'm assuming this is your home) for 18 years. I now live back in England. In my experience it is MORE common for American men to have "boys night out" & drink with their mates than it is in England. He DOES NOT have some cultural expectation to do this. DO NOT fall for it!

 

Are most of his friends single? (Very bad). Have you made any couples friends? Friends with young children? If you are going to stay & try to make this work he needs to GROW UP FAST! Promises of being faithful just aren't enough anymore. If he's unwilling to dump his childish friends who encourage him to 'go out on the pull' it has to be over. I'm so sorry.

 

I completely understand everything that you've sacrificed. I know how hard & how desperately lonely it can be living in a foreign country. im in Lincolnshire at the moment. If you need some moral support private message me. I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

 

Can I ask, would you be happier back home? Do you have a strong network of family & friends to support you? Do you still love your husband? Do you believe that you can honestly get over this?

 

Make the correct choice for YOU & your BABY.

 

I know how final the idea of getting on that plane is! It's not like splitting-up when you're both going to live close. The idea of sending your child on a plane for custody holidays is terrifying. Ugh! Living in a foreign country adds so many layers of complexity. Be brave! Consult a lawyer to know where you stand before you do anything. Taking your baby out of the country without correct paperwork could become very complex!

 

Again, I'm so very sorry. He's behaving like a monster!