Asking my wife for an open marriage (sensitive topic) [updated]

[central]

This is very sad. Neither of you has any fault in this, and both of you deserve a great deal of credit for working on the problems together this long. However, there is no happy endpoint in sight - and there may never be. Her life is horribly disrupted, but I don't see the benefit in ruining two lives. So, I'm in agreement with those who suggest separation or divorce. An open marriage will probably only hurt her more (unless she comes up with the idea and suggests it, which she hasn't), as someone suggested. And, it really isn't the solution you may think it is (usually, open marriage works when the relationship is already good; when it's not, it usually just hastens divorce).

[aileD]

It's kind of annoying that a lot of people are saying "separation or divorce is the only option". That's completely insensitive and awful to tell someone to throw their marriage aside because the only thing wrong with it is the lack of sex due to trauma. If your dick fell off, or you became impotent, would she have left you ?

 

Yes you have needs

 

But it's just sex. You love everything else about her.

 

Six years IS a long time but in the span of "till death do us part", it's just a small chunk of time. She's made incredible progress, and she wants to continue to make progress, she doesn't want this either....who is to say that in anther couple you couldn't get past this?

 

And ITS NOT HER FAULT Either, someone else stole this away from her. You vowed to love her SICKNESS and health, better and WORSE, richer or POORER.

 

This is just sex, what if it was cancer? A deadly illness? Multiple Sclerosis?

 

Would you bail then?

 

Yes your sexual needs are important, but are they more important than your wife? Get some sex toys for yourself, a fleshlight or something that feels good. Is it the same? No...of course not. But isn't she worth it?

 

Keep working with her in counseling and sex therapy.

 

I hope it works out and I know my opinion won't be popular.

[Marc878]

I think what you are considering asking her is the wrong way of approaching the issue. Instead, I would suggest having an open conversation with her about how you are feeling. You love her but you can't live without physical intimacy.

 

Give her the opportunity to think it over and try and find a solution. If you give her the power to decide what happens next, it will help her feel more in control of the situation.

 

You have been a loyal husband, don't throw that away without giving her the chance to work things out as a couple.

 

IMO, this is your best option up front. However, living in a sexless marriage long term won't last. It's called reality.

[Mr. Lucky]

He's been dealt a tough hand, but hers has been tougher.

 

Certainly agree but he's the one posting here looking for advice.

 

Were she posting, after 6 years I'd gently suggest she consider the same thing...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Arieswoman]

OP,

Road 25# makes a good point.

 

I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded(husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

 

 

Simple and to the point, covers everything, allows no loop holes.

 

 

Maybe there are more divorces because of people are pledging to new fangled vows that do not cover everything and no promise of forever.

 

 

OP, what it you got hurt on the job. Accident left you unable to have sex how would you feel if your wife got herself a stud. She would go on for dates for a few hours but come home at night. Then not come home some nights. Then go away weekends. Then week vacations. Then never com home again.

 

 

How would you feel as these thing evolved?

 

If you made these vows to her than maybe, as you are faltering, you should seeks advice from the priest who married you?

[BettyDraper]

I hear you buddy. I just broke up with my BF because the affection and intimacy stopped and I saw us heading fir the place you're in. You (and I) are too young to live a sex and/or intimacy-free life. I would definitely ask her and be sensitive and diplomatic about it like you have here. And if she gets all upset AND still makes no changes for the better, then perhaps she is just selfish and is not or can not think about you.

 

Personally, I am of the opinion that you can't force someone to be more sexual or passionate with you, and if you do manage to get them to agree to do it more, it won't last long, because they don't feel it. You can't fake a feeling for long. Which is why I broke up with my BF.

 

She's not selfish. She's horribly traumatized. Try to have some compassion.

 

That said, the OP has been very patient with his wife and faithful as well. Most men would have already been cheating. I have survived sexual abuse as a little girl and rape in my late teens. There were some acts that were so traumatic for me that I couldn't engage in them at all. My husband and I worked on those together and now I enjoy them.

 

I agree that separation would be the best choice. If that isn't an option, than the OP can try to have side women who are respectful of his situation and keep quiet. Men have been doing that for centuries. Cheating turns my stomach but this is a unique situation.

[CarrieT]

I remember reading here the pain of a woman in the similar situation to your wife, she had agreed to an open marriage. I cannot find the exact thread at the moment.

BUT she was in torture every time he left to "do the deed", her life was utter hell.

You are thinking of Rylie and here are all of her threads.

 

In short, they married with the idea that the marriage was not going to be consummated but he began to have needs after therapy. It has not ended well as he was able to rediscover his sexuality while she has not and he is already in another relationship with someone who will be sexual with him.

 

OP, this is probably your wife's biggest fear. It is easy for some people to have a sexual release and equate to a haircut, a massage, or a manicure, but for many others, the act of having sex creates oxytocin which starts the set-up of establishing an emotional bond.

 

You have stated that you want intimacy which is tantamount to saying you really want the be physically and emotionally close to another - not just sexual release. There are many threads on this forum of men who have had 10, 20, and 30 years of non-sexual marriages and how it destroyed them as human beings due to the lack of sexual intimacy.

 

I would suggest you continue in therapy with your wife and broach that concept that the lack of intimacy is hurting you as a person as well as the marriage. It may be that divorce is what comes of it, but having been in an open marriage, I don't see that as an option for you. From reading your posts, you are wanting more than an open marriage or - right now - your wife can provide.

[JewelD]

"I hear you. I don't know if it's me trying to justify it or not, but I do see how it would benefit her as well. It could take the pressure off her because that need is being met. She wouldn't lose her husband. I think I would be happier which in turn makes our relationship with each other better.

 

I know that it would really hurt her, though. Knowing I was sleeping with another woman. I really don't know though, if that pain would be worse than divorce because she was raped (essentially)."

 

I get that you're in a difficult situation, but this line of thinking is pretty selfish. She gets to keep her husband while he's sleeping other women. You mean, she gets to share her husband. That's not going to take any pressure off her, you're going to intensify it.

 

Ask yourself the same question. Would you rather lose your wife or share her with other men?

 

She's not going to get anything out of this. At all. Regardless of what vows you made, there's no point if there's no happiness in the marriage and you're miserable. You'll just both be miserable and married.

 

Sure, stick with your spouse through hard times, to an extent. We would never suggest someone stick it out with an abusive spouse or a cheating spouse. People make vows, but at the end of the day, nobody should be making themselves or their partner miserable just so they can say they stuck to their vows.

 

You've already expressed wanting to open the marriage and you've considered cheating. Sounds like you're very determined to do this. You don't want to wait anymore and that's fair, but you should consider separating.

 

You could sit down with her and tell her your feelings, but if it's been six years already, chances are her feelings on sex have not changed. You'll be essentially threatening her with divorce and of course, she will probably come up with a solution that might work for you, but will tear her apart.

 

Yeah, there's plenty of people who can stick it out in a sexless marriage and still be happy. You're not one of those people and you shouldn't pretend to be.

[elaine567]

You are thinking of Rylie and here are all of her threads.

 

In short, they married with the idea that the marriage was not going to be consummated but he began to have needs after therapy. It has not ended well as he was able to rediscover his sexuality while she has not and he is already in another relationship with someone who will be sexual with him.

 

Yes, Rylie was in a similar position, but no it was this thread from JRP, that I was thinking of.

Sexually abused and years of therapy to no avail.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/582713-i-m-having-trouble-our-open-marriage

 

My husband and I have been together for 5 years, married for 2. We've had an open-relationship/open-marriage for most of that time (about 4 years). But it's only open on his half, I don't stray from the marriage and never have. He has sex with other women, 2 specific ones, 0-3 times a month.

 

We don't have sex, never really have. We've done sh**ty attempts at it but because of me it doesn't work so we haven't really had sex (of any kind). He gets all of those needs filled from other women.

 

It's getting increasingly hard to be OK with it. We (he) have always had honesty. We have specific days/times when he can do it and I know if he's going to. It breaks my heart every time he walks out the door and when he comes home and gets in the shower. Every part of me hurts.

[jen1447]

OP, based on everything you've said re values etc., fwiw my take is your sexual future has to be w your own hand, much as that sucks and isn't fulfilling for you.

 

It's a pretty easy conclusion imo - you're committed to her, she's incapable of a sexual relationship (either permanently or on a very slow recovery schedule). There's just no way those two things end up w sexual satisfaction as an element.

 

Life isn't always fair but, much as I'd hate to contemplate it myself, I think things could be worse and that a future w the woman you love and you're committed to, with masturbation as a stop-gap measure, isn't exactly a death sentence. We don't choose all the things that happen to us in life and we can't run from most of them anyway. This is just the hand you two were dealt.

[Cephalopod]

Separation is also an option. I'd go with that actually rather than open marriage. You don't have kids together.

 

I predict you won't leave though and will end up sucking it up and doing nothing. There are hoards of men here who are in sexless marriages not even due to rape, and they suck it up and do nothing.

 

It is still adultery if he cheats while separated from her.

 

He needs to divorce her an move on or just learn coping skills to live with what life has dealt him.

 

It is an untenable situation he is in and I feel for him.

[lolablue17]

Let me offer a different view for you to think about.

 

Your wife has some difficulties to deal with. One of them is the sorrow she knows she causes you, when she can't be with you sexually. I even guess this is the most tough thing for her to handle.

 

When you go and **** other women, yes, she will have to deal with it, but it may be much easier for her to know that you're happy and satisfied.

 

Please, collect some courage, and talk to her. Don't ask her to give you permission because by that you throw all responsibility on her. Be a man and lead the situation. Tell her that you don't want to hurt her, but yes, you're gonna find other women out side. Ask her if she wants to know, or does she want you to hide it. But do it as a notification, not as a request.

 

Yes, she might get upset. But at the same time she will feel kind of relief, to know that she is no more causing you to suffer, and it will reduce her horrible feeling of not fulfilling your expectations. Part of her will be glad that this big elephant is no longer between you two, and is a non issue, and not her responsibility anymore.

Edited September 17, 2016 by lolablue17

[BluesPower]

I was not going to post on this thread for a lot of reasons. I am probably biased about a lot if this, but I have some experience.

 

I love my wife, without at doubt, and she has had a lot of issues. You can read some of my threads if you want more info.

 

We always had a great sex life, really great, until her addiction really took a turn for the worse. I was always faithful until then. I had been with a lot of women before we were married but once we were married, I was faithful for a long time.

 

When the super bad times hit, I went a little crazy after a few months of no sex and I started sleeping around a lot, I was a real POS.

 

Now, your wife has had a horrible ordeal to overcome, it is just horrific. And it is understandable that she has sexual issues.

 

You have been a great husband and you should be proud. But 6 years of no sex is just a really big, big issue. I know that people have different opinions about this, but it is so unfair for anyone to expect a man or woman to go without sex for 6 years.

 

I understand that what happed to your wife was not her fault, but it was not yours either.

 

You just have to work this out with her some way. If she can't get there somehow, someway, soon, and you stay married, you have to be allowed to have an open relationship.

 

Now, I know what it is like to sacrifice yourself for someone that you love with all your heart, I have done it. And, as much as I still love her, I am bitter and full of resentment. I realize that I have to work on this, but the reasons that it is there, her 20 year hidden drug addiction, are in my mind valid.

 

You just cannot live your life for someone else and expect to be happy in the least. Even if it is your wife.

 

If your wife is hurt my your normal, natural need to have sex, I just don't know anyway around it.

 

I hope she can get to a better place soon, real soon. But you have to have an honest conversation with her about your needs. It is wrong for you to sacrifice yourself and your needs for your wife.

 

And for the record if I was injured and could not have sex I would have no problem with my wife fulfilling those needs with someone else.

 

Good luck to both of you...

[T-16bullseyeWompRat]

I think it is strange that people can give completely different advice based on situation. Some people saying "you only have one life to live" wouldn't say that if they found you at fault. No, they would be attacking your character. Others saying "for better or worse" and quoting vows at you would also tell a spouse to "get the hell away from that person" if the circumstances were leading them to believe you are being mistreated. They don't think of vows in that situation and certainly wouldn't be quoting them at anyone who they believe deserves better. So it's a bit of hypocrisy here in this thread.

 

Some are saying "sneak around" while those same people would say "how about being open and honest and try for communication for a change" to practically everyone else. I'm not pointing all this out to call anyone out personally, but to point out that everyone here can sympathize with both you and your wife and are grasping at straws for an answer to help you. There indeed may be nothing that isn't going to suck completely and this is a situation where people are realizing nothing is 100% in life on how you should think or feel. If they thought it was, well they just realized that 100% turned into 99.9%

 

I can't say my advice will be any better then anyone elses but here it goes...

 

My best suggestion was given earlier. Talk! All you can do is tell her how you are feeling. Be open and honest with her completely. As we all know communication is key to every strong relationship. You have to drive home how you feel. The hard part of all that, and I have no clue how you will do this, is to try and do it without her blaming herself. But I'm not sure that is possible. But you have to attempt to be honest and tell her "I'm just not sure I can go on like this much longer" or however the heck you can word it. Probably better then I just did I hope. But try your best to keep the power in her hands on this one. But you have got to express yourself. Leave no stone unturned to make sure for her and yourself that you have tried every single avenue to tackle this incredibly tough situation you have been dealt.

 

You are a man of honor to the fullest. Keeping that in tact is really the only way for you to be able to sleep at night with all of this. Weather it ends up in divorce, or sexless marriage, or open marriage. The best thing you can do for yourself is keep your honor fully in place, as you have. But you have got to be able to express your concerns, turn over every single stone you can think of. Then make your decision for yourself. At the end of the day if you are true to yourself and a true man of honor, you can at least sleep at night knowing you tried everything to make things work, whatever path you choose to take.

 

I think if the marriage is to open up, it needs to be with her practically forcing you to do so for the good of your relationship together.

 

Good luck friend. I'm very sorry you have this hand dealt to you, but from what I've read, you seem like the perfect guy for the job. A much better man then me I might add.

[BettyDraper]

It is still adultery if he cheats while separated from her.

 

He needs to divorce her an move on or just learn coping skills to live with what life has dealt him.

 

It is an untenable situation he is in and I feel for him.

 

I feel for the OP too.

 

He seems like a very good man who is struggling to be fair and noble.

[Cephalopod]

But by leaving her it's almost as if she is being punished for what those thugs did to her.

 

Oh man. This is where a man in his position really has to just kneel down and pray to whatever god he serves and ask for guidance or deliverance.

[NewLeaf512]

I remember reading here the pain of a woman in the similar situation to your wife, she had agreed to an open marriage. I cannot find the exact thread at the moment.

BUT she was in torture every time he left to "do the deed", her life was utter hell.

 

This arrangement you propose, would be what I would term a "forced" open marriage, your wife doesn't want an open marriage, but she would be "emotionally blackmailed" into agreeing in order to keep you around, as she lves you, just as in the above example. You are fooling yourself if you think your wife would be happier knowing your needs are being met elsewhere... that is NOT how it works.

Open marriages work well when BOTH want it and BOTH are getting something out of it. Here, the only winner would be you.

 

I know it is hard but separation/divorce is the only answer.

YOU need to go seek pastures new, because if you open up your marriage I almost guarantee you, starved of attention for so long, will be attached to someone else within a very short time, and then how would your poor wife feel?

She gets to watch whilst you scamper off to be with your lover at every opportunity, and she can say nothing as "she agreed to it".

DO NOT put her through that, has she not suffered enough at the hands of men?

 

She also needs to go find someone else who is not "champing at the bit" sexually, because even if you hide it well, she will know how you feel.

Relieved of the pressure of the marriage and forced to confront her demons without the comfort of you around, she may do surprisingly well actually.

 

You only get one life, this isn't working for you.

You are living on past good times and past dreams, you need to set yourself free.

Make a clean break, do not give out false hope, just end it and move on is my advice.

 

 

It might give your W a fresh start too?

[oldshirt]

What a terrible and heartbreaking situation. I feel so bad for both of you.

 

As the others have said, this is no clean and painless solution to this. At best it will be picking the lesser of several evils.

 

While I have no solutions here are a few random points in no particular order.

 

- it's been six years, there's no reason to believe that there will be any breakthroughs or monumental shifts that will occur any time soon. At best, another six years of therapy "might" show some slight improvement but I think it would be wise to view thi as if this is how it is going to be and you'll need to determine if you can live this way forever or not.

 

- look up the term, "sunken cost fallacy". In a nutshell it is where people keep putting time and effort into something that is showing no results because they have already put in a lot of time and effort and they don't want that to go to waste so they continue wasting more time and effort.

 

- if your ultimate objective is a happy, healthy full-service relationship where sexuality is a regular component, divorce is likely going to be your best option.

 

- if you are ok just getting some outside sexual release indefinately, then perhaps some kind of 'arrangement' will work, at least for awhile. The question will then be, with or without her foreknowledge and consent.

 

-would cheating traumatize her more, or would knowing you were having sex on the side traumatize her more?

 

- it's not reasonable for a spouse to assume and demand sexual exclusivity of their partner if they themselves refuse to have sex with them or do anything to meet their sexual needs. (In other wards, she knows she's not meeting your needs and knows that eventually you will either leave or seek it elsewhere)

 

- you have been very caring, supportive and honorable for the past 6 years. Regardless of what the future brings, no one can deny your conduct of the last 6 years.

[oldshirt]

It might give your W a fresh start too?

 

I'm glad someone else had the balls to bring this up first.

 

As cruel and harsh of a reality as this may be, the fact is he is just as much a part of this dynamic as she is.

 

I am not assigning fault or blame or pointing any fingers, but the fact is, he is a part of this process and a part of this dynamic that has resulted in 6 years of sexless marriage for BOTH of them.

 

We must remember that she has not had intimacy or sexuality for the past half dozen years either.

 

While he was not her attacker, there is something within the dynamics of this scenario that has left her incapable or unwilling to have intimacy with him.

 

That does not automatically mean that she will be incapable of a full-sercive relationship with someone else.

 

While everything about this situation is heartbreaking and tragic, we have to keep an open mind that if they were to separate and go their separate ways, they may both find satisfying relationships with someone else.

 

We can't just assume that of course. But neither can we assume she won't.

[elaine567]

It might give your W a fresh start too?

That is why I mentioned in my post that she may do surprisingly well if they were to separate.

She may even associate the OP with what happened to her, he may be reminding her every day of it, just by being there.

[NewLeaf512]

That is why I mentioned in my post that she may do surprisingly well if they were to separate.

She may even associate the OP with what happened to her, he may be reminding her every day of it, just by being there.

 

I agree.

 

Anyone who knows my story knows I was given the choice of divorce or open marriage and being young and afraid I chose open and that didn't work out with disastrous results

[Friskyone4u]

Wow!! What a dilema!!!

 

First OP, you are NOT a douche. You are stuck in a very difficult situation, as is your wife. And it seems like you have tried very hard to address this problem with therapy.

 

Since probably none of us are licensed sex therapists here, it is only opinions we can offer you. So I'll put in my $ .02

 

(1) asking your wife for an open marriage will traumatized her more, especially since you say she gets nervous when you go out without her. Could you watch her get dressed all sexy and go out with a boyfriend???? Regularly?? That is what you would be asking of her in reverse, which would probably make her feel more violated than she already does.

(2) your wife is probably terrified of you falling in love with someone else and leaving her, which happens in many open marriages. If you went the route of non monogamy, you would probably be better off asking for her permission to see and escort, although I am guessing she would feel terrible about that also.

(3) As Jen said, people DO survive longer periods of sexual dysfunction that you have and recover.

(4) Separating will also probably make her feel more inadequate and is just another roundabout way for you to be able to have sex with other women. She knows that or would figure it out quickly.

(5) The most "different" post came from I think Old Shirt who suggested maybe if you divorced she would become attracted to men again. I guess there is the possibility she identifies you ( although not your fault) with this traumatic experience and then tghe tension of the no sex. Have you asked therapists about that possibility.???

 

The bottome line is none of us are in your shoes and you and only you can make the final decision. It is obvious you still love your wife and she loves you.

 

To me, the part of the vows about "in sickness and in health" means my opinion is you should hold on a bit longer and show her as much love as you are able to.

I do not see how more traum of any kind will help the situation.

 

And one more time, you are NOT a douche.

[Ontos]

Have you ever told your wife how unhappy you are without sex and asked her what she thinks you should do in this situation? Ask her. If she loves you, then she should have a solution.

 

Do this before bringing up the open marriage.

 

You are not a DB - Sorry you and your wife are in this situation.

[BettyDraper]

I was not going to post on this thread for a lot of reasons. I am probably biased about a lot if this, but I have some experience.

 

I love my wife, without at doubt, and she has had a lot of issues. You can read some of my threads if you want more info.

 

We always had a great sex life, really great, until her addiction really took a turn for the worse. I was always faithful until then. I had been with a lot of women before we were married but once we were married, I was faithful for a long time.

 

When the super bad times hit, I went a little crazy after a few months of no sex and I started sleeping around a lot, I was a real POS.

 

Now, your wife has had a horrible ordeal to overcome, it is just horrific. And it is understandable that she has sexual issues.

 

You have been a great husband and you should be proud. But 6 years of no sex is just a really big, big issue. I know that people have different opinions about this, but it is so unfair for anyone to expect a man or woman to go without sex for 6 years.

 

I understand that what happed to your wife was not her fault, but it was not yours either.

 

You just have to work this out with her some way. If she can't get there somehow, someway, soon, and you stay married, you have to be allowed to have an open relationship.

 

Now, I know what it is like to sacrifice yourself for someone that you love with all your heart, I have done it. And, as much as I still love her, I am bitter and full of resentment. I realize that I have to work on this, but the reasons that it is there, her 20 year hidden drug addiction, are in my mind valid.

 

You just cannot live your life for someone else and expect to be happy in the least. Even if it is your wife.

 

If your wife is hurt my your normal, natural need to have sex, I just don't know anyway around it.

 

I hope she can get to a better place soon, real soon. But you have to have an honest conversation with her about your needs. It is wrong for you to sacrifice yourself and your needs for your wife.

 

And for the record if I was injured and could not have sex I would have no problem with my wife fulfilling those needs with someone else.

 

Good luck to both of you...

 

This. I would not expect my husband to go without sex if I could not have some with him for whatever reason.

 

With regards to sexual trauma, I know from experience that it is possible to work through that. Out of love for my husband, I allowed him to gently persuade me to break down so many walls. It helps that he was never pushy or selfish in bed like other idiots I was with. The traumatized partner has to be willing to be sexual again and let go of the trauma for their own happiness and a successful relationship. This is easier said than done but not impossible. Six years is excessive.

 

I'm wondering if the OP's request for an open marriage might be a wake up call for his wife. She might hear that and realize that she has been been taking far too long to at least attempt a sexual relationship with her husband.

[BettyDraper]

Wow!! What a dilema!!!

 

First OP, you are NOT a douche. You are stuck in a very difficult situation, as is your wife. And it seems like you have tried very hard to address this problem with therapy.

 

Since probably none of us are licensed sex therapists here, it is only opinions we can offer you. So I'll put in my $ .02

 

(1) asking your wife for an open marriage will traumatized her more, especially since you say she gets nervous when you go out without her. Could you watch her get dressed all sexy and go out with a boyfriend???? Regularly?? That is what you would be asking of her in reverse, which would probably make her feel more violated than she already does.

(2) your wife is probably terrified of you falling in love with someone else and leaving her, which happens in many open marriages. If you went the route of non monogamy, you would probably be better off asking for her permission to see and escort, although I am guessing she would feel terrible about that also.

(3) As Jen said, people DO survive longer periods of sexual dysfunction that you have and recover.

(4) Separating will also probably make her feel more inadequate and is just another roundabout way for you to be able to have sex with other women. She knows that or would figure it out quickly.

(5) The most "different" post came from I think Old Shirt who suggested maybe if you divorced she would become attracted to men again. I guess there is the possibility she identifies you ( although not your fault) with this traumatic experience and then tghe tension of the no sex. Have you asked therapists about that possibility.???

 

The bottome line is none of us are in your shoes and you and only you can make the final decision. It is obvious you still love your wife and she loves you.

 

To me, the part of the vows about "in sickness and in health" means my opinion is you should hold on a bit longer and show her as much love as you are able to.

I do not see how more traum of any kind will help the situation.

 

And one more time, you are NOT a douche.

 

I agree with what you're saying with one important distinction:

The OP's needs are pertinent as well. He has been patient and very long long enough so expecting him to wait longer is unreasonable. Nobody gets married to be celibate.

 

If his wife is so terrified of her husband going outside the marriage for sex, she needs to find away to push through her trauma and be sexual for him. It's only fair since he has waited so long. I sympathize with the OP's wife but it's time for his needs to take precedence now. The marriage should not be all about tip toeing around her ordeal.

 

So if his wife cannot be sexual, either the marriage needs to open or it needs to end.

Edited September 18, 2016 by BettyDraper