Ex left me for the person she works with [update]

[Lansing]

Just remember this and don't ever give her another chance, I can't imagine giving someone a second chance so hopefully you will heel soon.

[BluesPower]

Man I know that you are hurting so bad, and you won't believe it right now, but you are so much better off. When you love a woman like this it is so painful.

 

You know all the steps, like getting over an addiction of some kind. Is your job there so great that you can't find another on and move to someplace new? Start a new life? You may really need a new start in life.

 

I wish I could tell you something to make you feel better, but I don't know what that would be. You know that over time it will get better, but that does not help the pain you are in now.

 

I know that you already know not to ever let this woman back into your life for any reason, Right?

 

Think hard about moving somewhere new, I mean you don't have kids, and people move all the time.

 

No matter what you do, when you find someone new, please protect your heart. Take your time with other women from now on.

 

I really hope you feel better.

[dugan978]

You can read my other posts but basically ex dumped me to go be with someone she works with. Moved out of my place and right into his. She came and got her things but I noticed there was still some things left. Only major thing her computer it was away where I forgot about it. Iv been trying to stay no contact but she finds things to tell me so I'll answer the phone. But basically just wants to talk and will say oh I'll come get the rest of my things this weekend and never calls never shows. I just plan on throwing these things out. So a week ago I said enough is enough and said I was going to go no contact. She texted me saying she had a dream about me and Ignored it then called me two more times which I ignored. The weekend went by then this morning she tried calling me I ignored that too. Then this happens I get a text saying if you don't answer I'm just gonna show up at your house. So finally I called her back thinking she needed something. Tells me how she had a dream about us having sex and how she liked it and didn't mind it and how she watched a movie and thought of me the whole time. But then says how she went and did something fun with the new guy. At the end of the conversation same as always oh I'll call you this weekend about getting those last few things. Why is this girl saying this stuff? She's living with this guy and stuff but says all these things to me. It's like she wants me to not move on or keep her foot in the door. I have been living my life and enjoying it still think about her but not obsess. She finds out what I'm doing through her sisters social media. I don't understand what or why she does and says this stuff. Last time she stopped by to get things she played it off like she wasn't happy or something but I know she is. What's is this ??

[JewelD]

Does it matter? Id she liked/respected you, she wouldn't have treated you that way.

 

This is why you should do No Contact the right way. Blocking her from communicating with you and not communicating with her. That way you won't have to waste time trying to figure out her intentions.

[Blanco]

Block her number so you can be spared the head games and we can be spared the almost unreadable walls of text.

[HumanMachine]

Do what I did

 

Text her, your things will be outside my house at 9am tomorrow morning, if you don't collect them it's not my problem

[Redhead14]

You can read my other posts but basically ex dumped me to go be with someone she works with. Moved out of my place and right into his. She came and got her things but I noticed there was still some things left. Only major thing her computer it was away where I forgot about it. Iv been trying to stay no contact but she finds things to tell me so I'll answer the phone. But basically just wants to talk and will say oh I'll come get the rest of my things this weekend and never calls never shows. I just plan on throwing these things out. So a week ago I said enough is enough and said I was going to go no contact. She texted me saying she had a dream about me and Ignored it then called me two more times which I ignored. The weekend went by then this morning she tried calling me I ignored that too. Then this happens I get a text saying if you don't answer I'm just gonna show up at your house. So finally I called her back thinking she needed something. Tells me how she had a dream about us having sex and how she liked it and didn't mind it and how she watched a movie and thought of me the whole time. But then says how she went and did something fun with the new guy. At the end of the conversation same as always oh I'll call you this weekend about getting those last few things. Why is this girl saying this stuff? She's living with this guy and stuff but says all these things to me. It's like she wants me to not move on or keep her foot in the door. I have been living my life and enjoying it still think about her but not obsess. She finds out what I'm doing through her sisters social media. I don't understand what or why she does and says this stuff. Last time she stopped by to get things she played it off like she wasn't happy or something but I know she is. What's is this ??

 

She wants you to be on the back burner in case the new guy doesn't work out . . .

 

Tell her that you have put her things in a box on your front porch and she needs to come get them immediately. Ask her what time she will be coming by so that you can be somewhere else when she arrives. Tell her if she doesn't show up within a couple of hours, you will dispose of the items or give them to good will.

Edited September 19, 2016 by Redhead14

[dugan978]

I agree it's what I need to do. I just can't wrap my head around it all. It's always a game to her. I wish she would go see someone and go work her problems out but that'll never happen. I agree with the idea that she's just trying to keep me around

[SoThatHappened]

You'll see it eventually, but you dodged a bullet with her.

 

Anyone who moves that quickly is dangerous. She went from your bed to his.

 

The last girl who did that to me has been out of my life since (over 2 years ago). And, like you, I dodged a train-sized bullet with her.

 

Save yourself. Leave her stuff on the porch. Cut off ALL contact completely. Change your phone number. Block her on all forms of communication.

 

Don't ruin your life for that trainwreck.

[HumanMachine]

I agree it's what I need to do. I just can't wrap my head around it all. It's always a game to her. I wish she would go see someone and go work her problems out but that'll never happen. I agree with the idea that she's just trying to keep me around

 

 

It doesn't matter to you, get rid of her stuff and let her be the other guy's problem.

[fromheart]

She's very unstable. Get her things out and get her out of your life. Tell her you want NC. Advice her to seek help, and wish her all the best.

 

Sounds harsh, but this will be the best thing for you and her.

[BluesPower]

Yes, to answer your question, she is crazy.

 

You are so lucky she left you, you really have no idea and I hope you never do.

 

Put her stuff out side, let her know, and do complete NC.

[bubbaganoosh]

It's always a game to her.

 

Sure it is so why don't you stop playing the game? Look friend the girl is a pain in the a$$ first class and she's proved it to you not by just up and leaving you.............twice, but then getting in your head by texting, calling, waving, smiling at you, saying she want to be friends, hang out with you, and very conveniently, leaving this or that at your house just do she can come back and play with your head some more.

 

Like so many here have said, whatever is left, bag it and if need be take over to the OM house and drop it in the driveway. If she's there, tell her to go to hell and not to show up at your house again or communicate with you in any way and if she gets hurt feelings or mad then let her.

 

It's about time that you let her know that the sun doesn't set on her shoulders and she's not worth the salt of your sweat.

Edited September 27, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Fix quote

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, you're still hanging on.

 

Block her number. Period.

 

She is playing you like a dang fiddle because she knows you don't have a backbone. Show her you have a scrap of self-respect left and stop talking to her.

 

Stop trying to make sense of it - you won't be able to. She cheats on you because she was never as invested in you to begin with. You can argue that all you want but her actions speak for themselves. She doesn't love you; it sounds like she just uses you for physical and emotional affection when it suits her.

 

Surely you can do better than a bottom-feeder like her?

[RyanO1991]

It's really tough but NC seems like the only way. I know how you feel - you've given everything so it seems unreal that it can be ripped from beneath you so quickly.

 

It does get easier. The memories you had won't disappear but they'll be more distant with time. There are so many opportunities to us that we don't realise. Use this as a chance to have fun with your life and explore yourself as a person. You might not feel like it yet, but you'll probably enjoy it when you give it a go.

 

She's going to be kicking herself later on, because I highly doubt this new guy is going to work out.

[dugan978]

Cheating ex Twice finally came back a second time to get the rest of her things. She seems like she's doing great with her new relationship. And it's driving me nuts. It's been two months I thought for sure her new bf would go back to his wife or something would happen by now. I want to see her hit rock bottom. It drives me nuts how she at the same time plays it off like she's not happy. I know that's not true she just says it to make me feel better. All my buddies say it's not gonna last between them two and all of you have said the same thing. It drives me nuts to see her happy. I should be mad angry pissed off at her for what she did to me but I'm just not. I don't get it. All my friends say it's only a matter of time till she's trying to get back with you which I won't. But I mean like I said earlier I want to see her and the new guys relationship blow up. I want to see her miserable. They work together live together and she moved right out of my house into his mothers house with him. I mean this can't work for long. I know there's a benefit coming up this weekend that her and him will be at and all my friends will be too. I almost don't want to go so I don't have to see the both of them together. Just lost still.

[Zahara]

Why do you have all this information about her life?

 

You should skip the benefit and start prioritizing your grieving and your efforts to heal.

[Toodaloo]

Stay away from her. While you are putting yourself down like this you are not picking yourself up.

 

Of course she wants you to think everything is hunky dorey! Who doesn't want their ex to think that they are so much better off with out them!

 

Truth is that you actually are even though you are still hurting!

 

So quit following her life and instead concentrate on yours.

[aloneinaz]

This is a golden example of the consequences of continuing to engage with a dumper. Why not take back control and put her on permanent ignore. Would you really consider ever going out with this person again? 99% of the population wouldn't.

 

I wonder how much better you'd of felt had you gone NC when she moved out and healed from it. Would you be healed and potentially dating others vs. worrying so much about what an ex is doing?

 

Seriously, you need to let go. Find your pride and self respect and never talk to her again. Want to feel better? Do that, heal and have the ultimate revenge. Being happy with a new girl in your life that's thrilled with you.

[dugan978]

Been doing good keeping away from ex and all her games and lies. Have been feeling much better. Just last night at a party someone told me she is in the process of buying a with this new guy. Telling everyone it's gonna go in her name and it'll be her house but you know how that goes. Did it bother me hearing that ya of course. But man am I glad I'm not with someone like that anymore. To move right in with someone you work with then move out of there and buy a house together. Crazy how it all works out. Staying no contact and trying not to think about it all.

[lovebug_5858]

What goes around comes around, never forget that. Keep focusing on yourself and being happy ?

[TheSwanGirl]

Funny thing, we're both living the same thing, but my relationship wasn't on and off, it was 5 years.

 

He left me for someone new and the're still together, 9 months after all that happened. Believe me, I started to move on when I went full NC (this means YOU NEED TO TELL EVERYONE to stop talking about her, to give you updates...). Real NC. Not cyber stalking, NOTHING. Resist it. I know it's tempting, but you're only hurting yourself.

 

I'm still very heartbroken, but I struggle every single day to feel better, and sometimes I achieve that point of feeling something again. Not happiness, but SOMETHING.

 

It's brutal, I know. But believe me, cut her out of your life. Forever.

[MrPlop]

Been 7 months for me and I still have my good and bad days, especially now with the holidays coming up I have so many memories rushing back. Just remember these ppl were not faithful to us and you think they're gonna change on their next relationship all of the sudden? They're heading for disaster. Focus on your thing, I'm sure she was holding you back to some extent, there should be no excuse not to walk forward now that she's gone.

[Cephalopod]

What Mr Plop said is truth.

 

My exWW was never true to any man she was ever with. She cheated on me repeatedly, I kicked her out, and she has cheated on every guy she has been with since. She never has settled down. She doesn't have the capacity for monogamy. She is a sad, broken human being living a life of delusion.

 

The best day of my life was the day I decided to divorce her, even though it did not feel like the best day of my life.

[Sunkissedpatio]

Her family has reached out to me and everyone knows if she never met this guy she would still be here with me. So we have been playing games the last month and she screwed with my head. She has decided she is going to move out and come get most of her things this weekend. She is going to let me keep the dog. He's happy here. Everyone says things won't work out between them and she's gonna come running back. Which is what I would like to think but don't want to keep hope on that. My question is what do you think will happen and what should I do ? Will she come running back, should I go no contact.

 

I know she's going to still try to stay close with me. Even her family said she will always want to stay friends and keep contact. I know working and living tgther relationships don't usually work What do I do

 

I'm sorry you ended up with such a flake of a person.

 

Chances are she will move in with him, then they will buy a house together and then she'll be gloating about how they are engaged. They will get married and then get pregnant. And reality is setting in.

 

Here's the deal:

 

None of that changes how they met. None of that changes their loose values, their self-absorbed/narcissistic characters. A relationship that started off by being with someone who was already attached will have the same fate itself.

 

Especially one that started off at work! If it wasn't this guy it would have been another guy in her next job.

 

Work is something you will do for the rest of your life. Do you think there won't be other attractions that will happen at work down the line? There will be plenty. Take it from me, I've had my fair share of jobs and worked in different companies over the years and have met a LOT of like-minded attractive men who were also attracted to me. It's inevitable, we work in the thing we are passionate about and we work with others that share the same passion. That is an instant recipe for attraction.

 

In this world there are two kinds of people; people who understand what I just described but don't and won't act on that attraction, and then there are those who will. Your ex is the latter type.

 

 

And when the excitement and newness of a relationship passes and all the social milestones are met they are there to face each other. And THAT'S when the reality will set in. Will this person do this to me now? Can I really be myself with this person or will they just step out of the relationship every time there is a problem? Those are the fears and thoughts that will plague these people's minds and eat away at their souls.

 

Who needs to live like that? That in itself is karma playing its part. And then it happens. Someone steps out and does it again. And therein the full circle comes to a full close yet repeats.

 

No one escapes that. Let her be "happy" with her new life and cut all ties with her. You deserve much better than that. Let the other sucker have that.

 

Good luck and be persistent in your convictions and you will move on. Cut all ties and close your door and so that you can heal your heart for the person who is right for you.

Edited October 31, 2016 by Sunkissedpatio