Feeling like I'm missing out

[NJ123]

So I obviously said I won't post on here but I got my magnesium & vitamin b complex in the mail today. I just took them before along with my multi vitamin for the first time. I'm just hoping for the best & that they help me out in some way. I'm also planning on going to the gym again tonight for the first time in awhile. I need to get into better shape again since I hate having an average looking body.

[Sweetfish]

Because it's affecting other aspects of my life. I just feel due to this issue that I can't live normally & I wouldn't want to do that to a woman that I'm seeing. It wouldn't be fair to her that I'm not fully healthy. Add in the fact that I'm inexperienced & I just feel like I'm doomed in terms of ever meeting anyone. As I've said before I don't know what I'm going to do. I just feel my life is passing me by at this point.

 

Negative guy...

Next thing you know your 45 and your alone. My advise. Build up your confidence hanging out with men. Yes Men.... and be able to hold conversation with them about regular life stuff.. like current events music or what ever. Play ball or what ever hobby you want and what you will also learn from these men is how to become experience with women (pending your hanging out with decent men)

 

Than slowly start talking to women...

Just like you would talk to your friends (men)

 

It's truly that easy.

 

Medical condition... stop that excuse... your blessed man.

 

Side note: I was on a dating site and saw a girl that had a malpractice birth leaving her legs partially paralyzed and I thought she was beautiful and had a amazing profile and would totally date her despite I'm a nature guy who likes to backpack.. go figure the deal breaker was she was a smoker.. lol

 

So pony up.

Edited November 3, 2016 by Sweetfish

[GemmaUK]

So I obviously said I won't post on here but I got my magnesium & vitamin b complex in the mail today. I just took them before along with my multi vitamin for the first time. I'm just hoping for the best & that they help me out in some way. I'm also planning on going to the gym again tonight for the first time in awhile. I need to get into better shape again since I hate having an average looking body.

 

Good, so give yourself a good 6 months keeping up with the supplements and the gym.

Then also go back and scan the thread for all of the other great suggestions - yoga was mentioned here and is amazing for stress as you cannot think while you are doing it as you have to concentrate on tensing muscles and keeping balance - so get yourself booked up into a class nearby where you'll be going to college within that same 6 months.

Another type of yoga that would likely help you is facial yoga - check out you tube.

If you have had all the checks (and I know you had x-rays - am assuming you also had x-rays by a dentist in case you have dental abscesses) then your first step is relieving your tension and over worrying - only you can do that.

[Satu]

The OP is fenced in by double binds.

 

 

I never got what I wanted.

I always got what I did not want.

What I want

I shall not get.

Therefore, to get it

I must not want it

since I get only what I don’t want.

what I want, I can’t get

what I get, I don’t want

I can’t get it because I want it

I get it because I don’t want it.

I want what I can’t get because

what I can’t get is what I want

I don’t want what I can get because

what I can get is what I don’t want

I never get what I want

I never want what I get

 

- RD Laing, "Knots."

[NJ123]

Good, so give yourself a good 6 months keeping up with the supplements and the gym.

Then also go back and scan the thread for all of the other great suggestions - yoga was mentioned here and is amazing for stress as you cannot think while you are doing it as you have to concentrate on tensing muscles and keeping balance - so get yourself booked up into a class nearby where you'll be going to college within that same 6 months.

Another type of yoga that would likely help you is facial yoga - check out you tube.

If you have had all the checks (and I know you had x-rays - am assuming you also had x-rays by a dentist in case you have dental abscesses) then your first step is relieving your tension and over worrying - only you can do that.

 

I'm just not sure how long it'll take for the supplements to work. I've only been taking 1 magnesium a day & was considering doing that for a full week than move on to 2 magnesium a day for the next week, etc. I'm not expecting to see any results right away but was wondering how long I'd know whether the supplements are going to help me with my issue at all. Maybe MIDWEST can answer that for me.

[GemmaUK]

I'm just not sure how long it'll take for the supplements to work. I've only been taking 1 magnesium a day & was considering doing that for a full week than move on to 2 magnesium a day for the next week, etc. I'm not expecting to see any results right away but was wondering how long I'd know whether the supplements are going to help me with my issue at all. Maybe MIDWEST can answer that for me.

 

With any supplement there will be a dosage given on the label, if you are deficient and you don't have a good diet then they should be taken as a long tern supplement to your diet.

You do understand what the word supplement means yes?

 

Info, risks and dosages are all here in the various tabs:

MAGNESIUM: Uses, Side Effects, Interactions and Warnings - WebMD

[MidwestUSA]

NJ, go ahead and take two magnesium a day, just not at the same time. You need to work your way up to four.

 

I take two in the morning and two at night. That's the 400mg dose.

 

Sorry I haven't been around much; I'm out of town on an assignment. Best wishes.

[NJ123]

NJ, go ahead and take two magnesium a day, just not at the same time. You need to work your way up to four.

 

I take two in the morning and two at night. That's the 400mg dose.

 

Sorry I haven't been around much; I'm out of town on an assignment. Best wishes.

 

Okay. I'll take one after eating lunch. Than one after dinner. Is there anytime frame that I'll start to see any sort of results from taking it?

[NuevoYorko]

Okay. I'll take one after eating lunch. Than one after dinner. Is there anytime frame that I'll start to see any sort of results from taking it?

You'll do yourself a favor if you stop being so results oriented about this. Commit to taking them for 6 months and get on with the other things in your life that you need to address.

[losangelena]

Okay. I'll take one after eating lunch. Than one after dinner. Is there anytime frame that I'll start to see any sort of results from taking it?

 

Just curious, NJ, what kind of results are you hoping for by taking the magnesium?

 

I will tell you, from experience, that getting over stress takes a long time, and can feel like you're not making progress through a lot of it.

 

Just taking magnesium won't do much for you if you persist in other negative/unhealthy behaviors. I spent months taking supplements, going to therapy, practicing mindfulness meditation, going to yoga, etc. And I still felt like poo for the majority of that time.

 

Like everything else, it takes determination and sustained effort to get over. Take that from someone who's been there.

[NJ123]

Just curious, NJ, what kind of results are you hoping for by taking the magnesium?

 

I will tell you, from experience, that getting over stress takes a long time, and can feel like you're not making progress through a lot of it.

 

Just taking magnesium won't do much for you if you persist in other negative/unhealthy behaviors. I spent months taking supplements, going to therapy, practicing mindfulness meditation, going to yoga, etc. And I still felt like poo for the majority of that time.

 

Like everything else, it takes determination and sustained effort to get over. Take that from someone who's been there.

 

I was hoping that the burning problems I have would subside with the supplements. I just don't understand where this burning is coming from, sometimes it literally just comes on randomly where I can feel it coming from my face muscles. It's the most bizarre thing I've ever been through in my life. It's likely some sort of nerve problem or something. I just want to get to a point in my life where I feel like I'll be able to enjoy things instead of feeling like I have to force myself into doing things but not enjoying myself.

[GemmaUK]

Okay. I'll take one after eating lunch. Than one after dinner. Is there anytime frame that I'll start to see any sort of results from taking it?

 

Give it a good 3- 6 months. Write a journal - see how it goes.

Introduce some other self help things - you can only gain from them, not lose.

 

I assume you have had dental x-rays to rule out abscesses?

You didn't reply - but you generally don't reply to any of my specific questions - I've got used to that so only bother asking 2 times these days. This being my second time.

[NJ123]

I feel I'm asking genuine questions yet I feel I'm still being attacked here. I just don't get it. And no I don't have tooth abscess. I've had dental xrays done once a year throughout most of my life. Never had an abscess.

[GemmaUK]

Honestly OP, many many people have offered suggestions and things for you to try.

 

20 pages later you have only just got some magnesium supplements and you want to know when you will feel better.

It's a supplement, a thing to try along with all of the other suggestions that you have chosen to ignore because they required more effort than ordering a thing online.

That is, sorry to say but that is how it looks to us.

 

The good news is that by now you will have decided your college course, Yes?

I recall you said that would be your focus the following day after a post many pages back.

What's the plan? I'm eager to hear a positive.

[AMJ]

I agree with Angelena, the supplements alone aren't going to be a magic fix-all.

 

So don't get disappointed if you don't get these huge magic results from magnesium and your vitamins. It's a multi-faceted problem and needs more than one solution. The meditating/yoga/whatever peaceful activities are necessary.

I mean, some people get stress relief from punching a punching bag or running 6 miles, or masturbating, whatever. This is about finding something that works for you, which may not be yoga.

One therapist I had would force me to do this deep breathing meditation stuff in her office. And I'm serious, it used to piss me off. I'd think- ugh I'm paying you how much to tell me to close my eyes and take deep breaths and picture myself on a beach, this is complete BS. But it's about calming yourself down, and most of us do not know how to do that unless we are taught.

 

Its why we make little kids go take a time-out when they're upset. You know what I mean? So in one of those sessions something clicked and I started to feel 10x better after getting all that extra oxygen into my body (from deep breathing) and I started to feel calmer. I think ten deep breaths is the magic number. But I do that whenever I feel myself start to get angry, lose patience, upset, and it helps me calm down. And then I can handle the situation better- whatever it is that's making me upset.

[NJ123]

Honestly OP, many many people have offered suggestions and things for you to try.

 

20 pages later you have only just got some magnesium supplements and you want to know when you will feel better.

It's a supplement, a thing to try along with all of the other suggestions that you have chosen to ignore because they required more effort than ordering a thing online.

That is, sorry to say but that is how it looks to us.

 

The good news is that by now you will have decided your college course, Yes?

I recall you said that would be your focus the following day after a post many pages back.

What's the plan? I'm eager to hear a positive.

 

I've already said I used to go to the gym regularly & that still didn't help me. I was in really good shape, but I still felt horrible mentally & the burning & other issues never went away & sometimes would even feel worse I think when going to the gym. I feel I might have some sort of permanent damage done if I haven't gotten better from this burning issue after all of this time. As you said I'll see what happens with the supplements after months, but if that doesn't work than I don't know what else I can do besides knowing I'll likely never be 100% healthy again.

 

I'm still deciding on what program to do. Some people I know personally suggested that I do a 2 year program in something. I wouldn't have to take any general education courses as far as I know since I already took them all. I just really have to figure out what program I want to do as in a major. My issue is that I have no idea what I'd be good at. But I need to choose something that's going to give me a better chance at getting a job & make decent money. There's some things I'd love to do as a career but they just aren't very realistic.

[NJ123]

I agree with Angelena, the supplements alone aren't going to be a magic fix-all.

 

So don't get disappointed if you don't get these huge magic results from magnesium and your vitamins. It's a multi-faceted problem and needs more than one solution. The meditating/yoga/whatever peaceful activities are necessary.

I mean, some people get stress relief from punching a punching bag or running 6 miles, or masturbating, whatever. This is about finding something that works for you, which may not be yoga.

One therapist I had would force me to do this deep breathing meditation stuff in her office. And I'm serious, it used to piss me off. I'd think- ugh I'm paying you how much to tell me to close my eyes and take deep breaths and picture myself on a beach, this is complete BS. But it's about calming yourself down, and most of us do not know how to do that unless we are taught.

 

Its why we make little kids go take a time-out when they're upset. You know what I mean? So in one of those sessions something clicked and I started to feel 10x better after getting all that extra oxygen into my body (from deep breathing) and I started to feel calmer. I think ten deep breaths is the magic number. But I do that whenever I feel myself start to get angry, lose patience, upset, and it helps me calm down. And then I can handle the situation better- whatever it is that's making me upset.

 

I've tried relaxing techniques at times but they're just temporary relief for me. It's like a band aid but it's not going to fix my problems permanently. I need something that's going to make me feel better on a regular basis where I can move on with my life instead of feeling like I'm just going through the motions & not enjoying myself. That's not living a life it's just existing. I feel in the position I'm in, I can get a good job, a g/f & whatever else but I'm still going to not feel well with health issues consuming me physically & mentally. I just need something to fix my issues already instead of feeling like I'm going to be like this forever. I just don't want to go through life with this stuff on the back of my mind a lot of the time where I'm not even healthy & not able to enjoy the things that others get to naturally.

[AMJ]

What relaxing techniques did you try? Don't BS me either, and be specific.

 

 

NJ you need to pick a program. I'm guessing it's too late to register for next semester, as it's November? Why don't you go with the Computer Science program, it looked like that was the best fit for you. Even if you take a few classes and then decide it's not exactly what you want to do, I'm sure you can switch into another program. But you need to start somewhere. And you're never going to know what you want to do until you do something.

 

Look, it is impossible to figure out what exact job or career you will end up with. Some people are on a rigid professional path and do know exactly what they want to do. That's not most of us though. Most of us, pick classes we think we will enjoy in college. If we do well in those classes, we take more of them. Through those classes we start to learn about job opportunities or internships, or other activities that guide us down a certain path. Over time that path gets narrower and a pattern emerges- for me, I've worked in the private, public, and nonprofit sectors, but the common link between them all was policy, public health and education. And that's exactly where I've ended up. But that was a rocky path, it wasn't easy, it's taken me ten years since earning my BA to end up here. I'm not saying that to discourage you, I'm saying that so you stop stressing out so much about which classes to take.

 

Just take classes that sound interesting to you, that seem like something you'll do well in. The rest will follow from there. But you MUST START SOMEWHERE.

[NuevoYorko]

I need something that's going to make me feel better on a regular basis where I can move on with my life instead of feeling like I'm just going through the motions & not enjoying myself. That's not living a life it's just existing.

 

 

I feel in the position I'm in, I can get a good job, a g/f & whatever else but I'm still going to not feel well with health issues consuming me physically & mentally. I just need something to fix my issues already

 

Well ... you're out of luck, because there is no such thing , except in a band-aid sense. Feeling good about oneself and ones life comes from within, not from an external source.

 

If you "feel like" you're going through the motions of your life and not enjoying yourself, that tells you ONE thing: That you need to make many personal changes so that you can and will feel good about your life, at least the majority of the time.

 

Not only are ALL your threads repetitive (you want something to come along and fix you and make you feel good), and you have got much very good and consistent advice - also, people have been sharing with you that they have been in a similar place, and what they finally did that helped to move them out of it. You don't even acknowledge.

 

Speaking for myself, I recognize your negative and self defeating thought patterns; I did similar to myself. I have severe depression, and when I'd finally had enough I did a great many things for a long time (years, and must keep it up forever - not "fixed") in order to get out of its grips. But that was 100% my own responsibility and took work. Still does. If I didn't take care of myself the way I need to, I would probably be living in my parents' basement (if they were still alive) complaining on the Internet most of the day and feeling terrible myself.

 

You can do it. But the question is, WILL you do it. Whether you have a chemical imbalance in your brain, a nerve disease in your face, a less than ideal height, nasal discharge, or much much worse, it's up to you to take care of yourself and learn how to either eliminate, or manage these things. So far, no sign of that.

 

As long as you stubbornly refuse to take accountability for your own circumstances, nothing can change.

Edited November 4, 2016 by NuevoYorko

[Buddhist]

When you're depressed the whole world feels off. Nothing works and everything feels like an effort. What you are describing is depression and it's symptoms. Not some cosmic force keeping you down. If you truly want to feel better then you have to treat the illness, depression. That's a long term fix, generally years in the making. It's really likely that you won't feel good for a very long period of time. In the meantime you have to keep doing things even if you don't feel good to develop habits that keep you out of depression over the long term.

 

Once you've gotten to where you are it's actually more likely that you'll fall into the same pit again, because you've developed a neural pathway that takes you there. So these are lifetime habits you have to develop. That means that no matter how you feel you have to do them anyway. You can't afford to make how you feel the determinant of your actions.

 

I was lucky because I had depression and anxiety together. My anxiety symptoms were worse than my depressive ones and yoga was the only thing keeping them in check. So it did it, every single day just so I could get some relief from that. It is now a lifetime habit that is slowly pulling me out of depression. I won't lie waking up one day with a fantastically fit and toned body was a nice plus. It was something to be proud of and helped. It was one less thing to feel bad about. It lightened my load and made me feel in control of something. Even if I wasn't in control of everything. It's a start.

 

This is what you have to do. Make a start. You are fighting your way out of the pit of a self-made hell. You won't get there all at once. You have to claw your way out of that never-ending hole fingernail by fingernail. But if you never start you will always be in the pit of hell. If you start you will be one hand hold further than you were yesterday.

 

And if you need some motivation here's something to think about. Depression, left untreated can actually lead to a psychotic break with reality. Yes it can. So unless you want a holiday in a psych ward and forced to take medication just to buy your own freedom I suggest you don't let it get that far. It doesn't get better on it's own. It doesn't get better by sitting in that pit of hell. It gets worse. If you keep practising that depressive neural pathway you will eventually break your own brain and have no choice about your treatment afterwards.

 

Right now you have choices. Exercise them before they are taken away from you.

[NJ123]

What relaxing techniques did you try? Don't BS me either, and be specific.

 

 

NJ you need to pick a program. I'm guessing it's too late to register for next semester, as it's November? Why don't you go with the Computer Science program, it looked like that was the best fit for you. Even if you take a few classes and then decide it's not exactly what you want to do, I'm sure you can switch into another program. But you need to start somewhere. And you're never going to know what you want to do until you do something.

 

Look, it is impossible to figure out what exact job or career you will end up with. Some people are on a rigid professional path and do know exactly what they want to do. That's not most of us though. Most of us, pick classes we think we will enjoy in college. If we do well in those classes, we take more of them. Through those classes we start to learn about job opportunities or internships, or other activities that guide us down a certain path. Over time that path gets narrower and a pattern emerges- for me, I've worked in the private, public, and nonprofit sectors, but the common link between them all was policy, public health and education. And that's exactly where I've ended up. But that was a rocky path, it wasn't easy, it's taken me ten years since earning my BA to end up here. I'm not saying that to discourage you, I'm saying that so you stop stressing out so much about which classes to take.

 

Just take classes that sound interesting to you, that seem like something you'll do well in. The rest will follow from there. But you MUST START SOMEWHERE.

 

I'm pretty sure I have until late December/early January to register for classes. But of course it would be wise to do it sooner than that. I really need to decide within the next few weeks at the latest what I should take. I really did look up about computer science, the issue is is that there's going to be very extremely difficult courses to take. It's a very complex field & I really don't have any experience with programming really outside of creating websites when I was younger using code. But I never did anything really advanced but more so maybe beginner type of stuff. I was considering criminal justice as well but I don't have an interest in being a cop or a corrections officer so I don't know what else I can take. Forensics sounds really interesting but there's not too many jobs in that so I'd maybe be wasting my time in getting a degree in something that I'll struggle to get a job in. But I have no excuses & I need to figure it out soon.

 

And for the techniques I used, it was mainly breathing exercises similar to what you described. I remember looking it up online during bouts of severe stress all the time to help myself relax. And it was mainly about breathing in & out. Or counting down backwards with my eyes closed. Stuff like that I'd do.

[NJ123]

When you're depressed the whole world feels off. Nothing works and everything feels like an effort. What you are describing is depression and it's symptoms. Not some cosmic force keeping you down. If you truly want to feel better then you have to treat the illness, depression. That's a long term fix, generally years in the making. It's really likely that you won't feel good for a very long period of time. In the meantime you have to keep doing things even if you don't feel good to develop habits that keep you out of depression over the long term.

 

Once you've gotten to where you are it's actually more likely that you'll fall into the same pit again, because you've developed a neural pathway that takes you there. So these are lifetime habits you have to develop. That means that no matter how you feel you have to do them anyway. You can't afford to make how you feel the determinant of your actions.

 

I was lucky because I had depression and anxiety together. My anxiety symptoms were worse than my depressive ones and yoga was the only thing keeping them in check. So it did it, every single day just so I could get some relief from that. It is now a lifetime habit that is slowly pulling me out of depression. I won't lie waking up one day with a fantastically fit and toned body was a nice plus. It was something to be proud of and helped. It was one less thing to feel bad about. It lightened my load and made me feel in control of something. Even if I wasn't in control of everything. It's a start.

 

This is what you have to do. Make a start. You are fighting your way out of the pit of a self-made hell. You won't get there all at once. You have to claw your way out of that never-ending hole fingernail by fingernail. But if you never start you will always be in the pit of hell. If you start you will be one hand hold further than you were yesterday.

 

And if you need some motivation here's something to think about. Depression, left untreated can actually lead to a psychotic break with reality. Yes it can. So unless you want a holiday in a psych ward and forced to take medication just to buy your own freedom I suggest you don't let it get that far. It doesn't get better on it's own. It doesn't get better by sitting in that pit of hell. It gets worse. If you keep practising that depressive neural pathway you will eventually break your own brain and have no choice about your treatment afterwards.

 

Right now you have choices. Exercise them before they are taken away from you.

 

I think the issue is my brain might already be broken to a degree unfortunately. My brain chemistry is just messed up & I don't know how to fix it if even going to the gym regularly didn't help me at all. I went to the gym 5x a week consistently for like 6 months straight which as I said made me look great on the outside but I was still miserable as hell on the inside. And as I've been trying to explain this burning issue is causing me to have less anxiety but I get this horrible burning sensation instead. Like a nerve is being affected with my nervous system or something. I seriously don't know how to describe this thing since it just doesn't make sense & everyone thinks I'm already crazy anyway probably lol. But I don't know how else to describe what this burning is doing to me but it's affecting my body & mind in a way that's really bizarre & don't really know how to describe it where it makes any sense.

[AMJ]

I'm pretty sure I have until late December/early January to register for classes. But of course it would be wise to do it sooner than that. I really need to decide within the next few weeks at the latest what I should take. I really did look up about computer science, the issue is is that there's going to be very extremely difficult courses to take. It's a very complex field & I really don't have any experience with programming really outside of creating websites when I was younger using code. But I never did anything really advanced but more so maybe beginner type of stuff. I was considering criminal justice as well but I don't have an interest in being a cop or a corrections officer so I don't know what else I can take. Forensics sounds really interesting but there's not too many jobs in that so I'd maybe be wasting my time in getting a degree in something that I'll struggle to get a job in. But I have no excuses & I need to figure it out soon.

 

And for the techniques I used, it was mainly breathing exercises similar to what you described. I remember looking it up online during bouts of severe stress all the time to help myself relax. And it was mainly about breathing in & out. Or counting down backwards with my eyes closed. Stuff like that I'd do.

 

It would be wise to find out the exact deadline for registration so you don't miss it. Yes, school is difficult. Any major you choose will probably have at least a few really difficult classes. Lots of people have a hard time in school. Grad school and college were not easy for me, I'm not a natural student. There are tutors, your professors have office hours, there are teaching assistants who have office hours, all to help you. In grad school we- the students- all formed study groups and helped each other. I wouldn't have made it through without them.

 

I mean, every single company and organization employs entire departments full of IT staff, who spend most of their time helping people in other departments do things like get the printer to work, connect to the internet, install the latest software update, etc. IT jobs are not difficult to come by, in my opinion not that stressful, and since you already have a lot of experience with customer service, you already have half the skill set you need to be qualified.

 

I understand that computer science as a field and a college degree is much more complex than that, but if you talk to anyone who works in IT, the things they spend their day to day working on are pretty basic. And there is upward mobility.

So...to me it sounds like a good fit for you. Low stress good paying job, many many job opportunities, and skills that fit in with your experience and interests.

 

If you were to talk to a counselor at the college (have you done that yet?) they can likely identify a few classes to take to get started, ones that may overlap into other areas in case you want to switch your program later.

 

So..you need to do more than an internet search NJ. You need to go talk to someone in person or on the phone at your college of choice.

 

Also, if the breathing exercises you did, didn't work, then you didn't do them correctly. Like I said, most of us need to be taught how to meditate. There are meditation classes at community centers, YMCA, lots of places if you look. Or you can see a therapist who will help you get centered. Also there's a mediation app you can download for free. I think it's called headspace or mindspace..But seriously if you don't feel automatically calm after taking 10 really deep breaths, you're not breathing deep enough. You should feel almost lightheaded.

Edited November 4, 2016 by AMJ

[NJ123]

It would be wise to find out the exact deadline for registration so you don't miss it. Yes, school is difficult. Any major you choose will probably have at least a few really difficult classes. Lots of people have a hard time in school. Grad school and college were not easy for me, I'm not a natural student. There are tutors, your professors have office hours, there are teaching assistants who have office hours, all to help you. In grad school we- the students- all formed study groups and helped each other. I wouldn't have made it through without them.

 

I mean, every single company and organization employs entire departments full of IT staff, who spend most of their time helping people in other departments do things like get the printer to work, connect to the internet, install the latest software update, etc. IT jobs are not difficult to come by, in my opinion not that stressful, and since you already have a lot of experience with customer service, you already have half the skill set you need to be qualified.

 

I understand that computer science as a field and a college degree is much more complex than that, but if you talk to anyone who works in IT, the things they spend their day to day working on are pretty basic. And there is upward mobility.

So...to me it sounds like a good fit for you. Low stress good paying job, many many job opportunities, and skills that fit in with your experience and interests.

 

If you were to talk to a counselor at the college (have you done that yet?) they can likely identify a few classes to take to get started, ones that may overlap into other areas in case you want to switch your program later.

 

So..you need to do more than an internet search NJ. You need to go talk to someone in person or on the phone at your college of choice.

 

Also, if the breathing exercises you did, didn't work, then you didn't do them correctly. Like I said, most of us need to be taught how to meditate. There are meditation classes at community centers, YMCA, lots of places if you look. Or you can see a therapist who will help you get centered. Also there's a mediation app you can download for free. I think it's called headspace or mindspace..But seriously if you don't feel automatically calm after taking 10 really deep breaths, you're not breathing deep enough. You should feel almost lightheaded.

 

Yeah, I have until the day before classes start in Mid-January. There's also a 11 week spring semester instead of the regular 15 week that starts in mid February as well. I just checked the registration site.

 

And yeah, I've never been the greatest in school myself. I was decent in some subjects but struggled with others. And yeah an IT job would probably be a good fit for me, but doing what exactly, I don't know. But it seems like you're making it seem like the job is a lot easier than it really is. I doubt it's just basic things like you've described. I'm sure there's a lot more to it than just doing basic tasks all the time.

 

And true, I have to see a counselor at the school to see what I can do. But honestly, whenever I went to see counselors in the past they weren't of much help at all. It almost seemed like they were just going through the motions & didn't even care all that much. That's the vibe I got from them anyway. I kind of feel like I need to figure it out on my own then with some person that I never met that doesn't give a crap about whether I succeed or not.

 

The techniques did only help but just temporary. It's just a very temporary fix that isn't anything that's going to fix the issues in general. It might make me feel better for a little while but it doesn't get to the root of the issue.

[Buddhist]

I think the issue is my brain might already be broken to a degree unfortunately. My brain chemistry is just messed up & I don't know how to fix it if even going to the gym regularly didn't help me at all. I went to the gym 5x a week consistently for like 6 months straight which as I said made me look great on the outside but I was still miserable as hell on the inside. And as I've been trying to explain this burning issue is causing me to have less anxiety but I get this horrible burning sensation instead. Like a nerve is being affected with my nervous system or something. I seriously don't know how to describe this thing since it just doesn't make sense & everyone thinks I'm already crazy anyway probably lol. But I don't know how else to describe what this burning is doing to me but it's affecting my body & mind in a way that's really bizarre & don't really know how to describe it where it makes any sense.

 

No-one thinks you're crazy, we just think you're using this nerve pain as a reason to do nothing at all. So going to the gym didn't help the pain, but I'm assuming since you've made no mention of it that it didn't make it worse either. So what's the harm in going to the gym?

 

As has be reiterated to you many, many times. No one thing is going to make you feel good. You have a host of problems that are going to require a lifestyle shift in order to remedy. Anxiety and depression are lifestyle issues that are only remedied with lifestyle changes that are permanent. One year in the scheme of remedying these conditions is considered nothing in terms of feeling better. It is absolutely no surprise to me that 6 months in the gym didn't fix all your problems. Of course it won't. It's just one pillar of stability, you still need others. Why am I focusing on these things? Because anxiety and depression are the two I understand and have experience with.

 

No matter what goes on with your nerve pain, your anxiety and depression are separate issues that also need their own attention. If you wait until your nerve issue is fixed before you do anything at all it's very likely another year will go by and you've done nothing to help yourself. In that space of time your anxiety and depression will get stronger and will become more resistant to change. You are choosing to focus on one thing that actually you can't do much about and using that as an excuse to do nothing about all the other things you could do something about. Now can you see the source of frustration for many on this thread?

 

Why does your nerve pain have to prevent you from taking reasonable steps on others things? It doesn't. Enrolling in a course won't make your nerve pain any worse, going to the gym won't make it any worse, fixing up your lifestyle won't make it any worse. And yet all of those things have the power to lift your spirits in other ways regardless of nerve pain or not.

 

You can be in pain and feel hopeless about your situation

You can be in pain and feel hopelful about what you are doing to help yourself

 

Those choices don't depend on your pain not being there. But if you choose to make it so, then you prolong your own situation, willingly. You are not the first, neither will you be the last person to soldier on in spite of pain, and weird situations in your body. People do this all the time. Millions of people in the world have chronic disabling diseases but they don't stop living because of them. I could give you a list of my own daily symptoms that far outweigh yours but I choose not to talk about them because I don't want to make them the focus of my experience. I make living my life the focus of my experience and in the process attempting to help others who find themselves in similar situations to me.

 

Nobody here is standing in a place of perfection giving you advice they haven't even tried themselves. All of us have suffered and are still suffering in situations equal to and worse than yours. That's why we post here, we see ourselves in you and lend you the advice we had to stumble around in the dark to find on our own. It's entirely your choice to consider it, or not. If you choose not to, that's fine. Some people do have to hit rock bottom before they take action, maybe you are one of them. It isn't the easiest way to go by a long shot. But you're allowed to do that if you wish.