What options does a single guy in his late 20s/early 30s have?

[oldshirt]

 

I get it. There are risks involved with that and you may get a boo boo and my get some grass stains and scuff marks on your jeans. You may get your @$$ kicked. You may have some gal swear her love to you on a Sunday night and dump your butt and go out with some other dude that Friday night. That is not for everyone.

.

 

Here is where my responsibility as a 52 year old man who was a bachelor on the dating market until he was 31 and has now been married for almost 21 years falls into place.

 

Yes there are risks in the dating world and yes you may get your butt stomped and yes you may get dumped and cheated on and given an STD etc etc by any woman you date.

 

I have in fact had pi$$ed off BFs show up at my door and have given me $h!t on the street.

 

And I have literally had a long term GF swear to me her love and devotion on a Sunday night and started dating another dude and gave me the boot that Friday. I wasn't making that up, it really happened. And I've had a variety of other GFs and people I was dating smile and tell me everything was great one moment and then everything fell apart days/weeks/months later.

 

But here's the point I need to make - I survived it.

 

Yes it is all stung at the time, I won't lie. But I kept trudging along and I made it through all that and came out stronger and smarter and better able to handle the bumps in the road that you will encounter.

 

And I watched my peers and cohorts go through the same thing. Some also took their lumps and would get back up and brush themselves off and get back in the game. Those guys got banged up here and there but they also had dates, had GFs, got layed, got married, had homes and families etc.

 

And I also had friends and cohorts that couldn't take the heat and they opted out of the dating/hook up/marriage world and took the money they saved and bought very nice gaming systems and played WOW and GTA till all hours of the night and they bought expensive telescopes and had their dateless, adult-virgin buddies over to chart constellations and watch lunar eclipses at night.

 

It boils down to what do you want to do. If you want to hook up/date/marry etc with real live flesh and blood females, you are going to have to risk stepping on some toes of other dudes and you are going to have to risk women not always treating you awesomely all the time.

 

If you don't want to risk that, there are plenty of other dateless guys that you can hang out with and play video games and other activities with on Saturday nights.

 

Those are your decisions as an adult man to make and I don't give a hootenanny which you choose.

 

But as a grown man that has been through it and out the other side, when a young man asked me for thoughts and opinions on what he should do when he wants to date and wants to find a decent woman but they all seem to be taken - my advice is going to be to make his best move and make his best offer and then be prepared to have some other guy upset with him.

 

And for any person, male or female, homosexual or heterosexual, if you are on the dating market, you are going to have people that are going to flake on you, going to dump you, going to cheat on you and you are going to have a wide variety of various relationships that don't work out for one reason or another.

 

Those are the facts and the realities. If you suit up and go out on to the field to play that game, you are going to get scuffed up and bruised and dirty.

 

If you can't take that and want to opt out of that, I understand. But accept that you will be a spectator sitting on the bleachers watching the big boys play.

[oldshirt]

That's another reason I'm somewhat relieved that I'm completely removed from the dating world, because if what you say is true, then I would perpetually only ever be someone's "placeholder". I'm not a fan of that. Not to mention, I'd rather not have to be paranoid and wonder if the person I'm with is only keeping me around until they can hop in bed with someone better (and let's be honest, you don't have to look very far at all to find a guy that's "better" than me).

 

I understand what you are saying.

 

Noone wants to be placeholder and no one wants their special someone to walk away to be with someone else. I don't want that either.

 

But here is the thing that you scardy-boyz seem to be missing, even if a relationship ends up on being temporary, you are still reaping the rewards and benefits of that relationship while you are in it. you are still experiencing being with someone and still getting the benefits and joys and sorrows and everything that comes with that even if it is only temporary.

 

When you sit in your mom's basement playing GTA with your buddies (I am not specifically talking to you per se, but scardy-boyz in general) you aren't getting any experience or any of the benefits at all. You aren't getting any of the experience or the knowledge or the wisdom that comes from being on the playing field. Without that knowledge and wisdom and experience, you won't have the skills and determination and confidence to function when you do encounter someone that would be a good match for you.

[oldshirt]

I understand what you are saying.

 

Noone wants to be placeholder and no one wants their special someone to walk away to be with someone else. I don't want that either.

 

But here is the thing that you scardy-boyz seem to be missing, even if a relationship ends up on being temporary, you are still reaping the rewards and benefits of that relationship while you are in it. you are still experiencing being with someone and still getting the benefits and joys and sorrows and everything that comes with that even if it is only temporary.

 

.

 

Let me put this into this perspective. My wife of almost 21 years who is a nurse is at work at the hospital today. She may meet some tall, handsome doctor and fall in love and pack up her stuff and move out at any time. That is a possibility. It happens.

 

Yes that will suck and yes I will be sad and hurt and yes my life will be in a period of upheaval for a period of time.

 

But I will survive it and I will go on to live a rich and full life after the divorce and I will in due time meet and date and hook up with a variety of women and I may even possibly even marry again.

 

And more importantly, the fact that she walks out today, does not erase or negate the fact that we had almost 21 years of marriage, building a home and family together, raising 2 awesome kids and having 20+ years of hot, monkey sex.

 

That 20+ years of good times and life experiences are not eliminated or negated. Yes the loss of that is sad and will leave a mark, but it doesn't eliminate it or make it null and void.

 

That's the link in the chain that I think a lot of you scardy-boyz aren't getting. You can experience loss and sadness and change in your lives, but you cry in your beer and leave a wetspot on your pillow case at night but then you get up the next day and carry on.

 

Life goes on. you have a period of sadness and adjustment but then you get out and start having fun again. You meet other people. You form other relationships and then one night before you know, some other young hottie is smoking your pole and you have her ankles up on your shoulders and you are back in the saddle and back in the game again.

 

When you are my age and have been there and done that, it all is chrystal clear. When you are hiding in your mom's basement and afraid to get your widdle feewings hurt, you can't grasp it.

 

Trust me, you are toughing and bolder and more resilient than you think. You can survive having some dude mad at you (assuming he doesn't shoot you in the head of course) and you can survive having some little hussy cheat on you and dump your azz.

 

You can and will survive those things and once you have gone through it and come out the other side, you come out stronger and more resilient.

 

But more importantly you come out smarter and wiser and you become better able to read people and better able to determine who the crappy people that are likely to mistreat you vs the people who are more honest and dependable are.

 

But you miss all of that when you hide out and shelter yourself in your mom's basement on the Game Boy.

[Shorty Shortison]

I came on here looking for hope myself and all I find is more and more depressing stuff for us inexperienced white guys already in our 30's. I've been saving money - easy to do with no dating ever - and Im planning a trip to The Phillipines in January to meed ladies there. I have a work friend who found his beautiful young (18) wife there last year and I don't think that guy has anything on me. Wish me luck and I do the same for you bro.

[preraph]

Are most of the good women taken after a certain point where single guys at an older age don't have many good options? I really hope I don't insult anyone on here but it just seems whenever I have to interact with women at my job for instance literally 98% of the time the women I find attractive are always taken. I just don't think it's a coincidence where it happens every single time. They're either with their boyfriends or husbands or buying stuff for them. And they're always very nice & friendly too where I know the guy likely has a good wife/gf. I know of course I'd never ask out a woman at work, but it just seems most of the ones that most guys would like to be with are off the market already. I know there's some women that are career oriented where they don't date much or maybe they recently ended a long relationship for why they're still single, but don't most women of late 20s/early 30s already think about seriously having kids at that point if they don't already? Where can an older single guy meet relationship quality single women that are around the same age bracket?

 

The new age to have to decide if you want kids is in your mid-thirties now. So that age is getting older and older.

 

I think it's odd how you think about who is a good woman. I mean, most people are good and most people are friendly. If you're finding women you're attracted to already taken, it's likely because they're very attractive, but even being attractive and popular doesn't make you want to have kids young. In fact, I'd say it works against it, though yes, you may always have a man when you want one.

 

There are plenty of single women out there in their 30s, 40s and up who are good women without partners. I think maybe your focus is too narrow.

[NJ123]

The new age to have to decide if you want kids is in your mid-thirties now. So that age is getting older and older.

 

I think it's odd how you think about who is a good woman. I mean, most people are good and most people are friendly. If you're finding women you're attracted to already taken, it's likely because they're very attractive, but even being attractive and popular doesn't make you want to have kids young. In fact, I'd say it works against it, though yes, you may always have a man when you want one.

 

There are plenty of single women out there in their 30s, 40s and up who are good women without partners. I think maybe your focus is too narrow.

 

For me I don't know if I even want to have kids. So that's another thing I need to worry about in terms of possibly finding a woman that might not want kids. And I suppose they all are very attractive but I can't help whom I'm attracted to. Of course the vast majority of them don't look like models but I'd assume most guys would find the women I like attractive based on the fact that it always seems like they're all taken already.

 

And where are all these good women in their 30s & 40s? I definitely don't see many of them through online dating.

[ZA Dater]

For me I don't know if I even want to have kids. So that's another thing I need to worry about in terms of possibly finding a woman that might not want kids. And I suppose they all are very attractive but I can't help whom I'm attracted to. Of course the vast majority of them don't look like models but I'd assume most guys would find the women I like attractive based on the fact that it always seems like they're all taken already.

 

And where are all these good women in their 30s & 40s? I definitely don't see many of them through online dating.

 

 

Perhaps its obtuse for me to say this but in many respects we create our own options. If I were you I would do some introspection, see what you are good at, improve what you can do better and then start looking. Based on your posts it seems you are severely dating weary.

 

 

I have been there and while my own prospects are fairly non existent taking that break has improved my own life and I for the most part I feel better. Take a break and then go looking.

 

 

Options are out there you just need to make yourself the best you can. I really hope you find that magic you seek.

[preraph]

For me I don't know if I even want to have kids. So that's another thing I need to worry about in terms of possibly finding a woman that might not want kids. And I suppose they all are very attractive but I can't help whom I'm attracted to. Of course the vast majority of them don't look like models but I'd assume most guys would find the women I like attractive based on the fact that it always seems like they're all taken already.

 

And where are all these good women in their 30s & 40s? I definitely don't see many of them through online dating.

 

I never wanted kids, so I get it, so why are you planning your dating life around that? Honestly, you are at the prime age. You're not over the hill or too young. I think men between 29-32 are the best age because if they're ever going to get over bed hopping and want companionship, they usually know that about then, and they hopefully are established in their career, and physically they're good looking as they're ever going to get. So it's not about your age.

 

But you ARE picking women who are too hot for you to get, apparently. Now, I know you can't help who the media has programmed you to be attracted to, but once you start dating people for what you have in common, I think you'll find your attraction expands. I am a bit shallow about looks and always went for really glamorous looking guys and a lot of them with just beautiful faces and very good looking. And I'm not in that league myself. Not a hot body, just a pretty face. But I found my niche in the music subculture and when I did, my popularity exploded compared to where it had been before. I ran with hot guys a lot, but I also fell for some in person who just had one or two things I found irresistable, and with whom I had a whole lot of music in common. We had a common passion, and it showed in how they dressed, even on the ones who weren't born gorgeous. Most popular guy in our crowd was 5'6", great face, but best of all great style, made his own clothes, etc.

 

I'm just saying to go where you have to go to find your niche, if you have a passion, follow it. If you don't, well, you should be trying everything and staying busy at least. It's a lot easier to fall in love with someone you connect with on that level than to ONLY rely on looks. And you already know that doesn't work for you. There are lots of pretty girls, but they are all looking for not only someone who is their attractiveness match but ALSO someone who shares at least some of their interests or history.

 

Most guys who fell for me, it was because I was around them every day at work or at music things and they didn't like my small boobs, I'm sure, but they just liked me and were able to concentrate more on my long legs and pretty face and hair, I imagine, but mostly it was about we had plenty to talk about together. Now, that doesn't mean anyone is going to jump 5 levels because of common interests and go with someone that is so unattractive as to be repugnant, for men or women, but there should normally be a wider range of what you are attracted to if you are attracted to women. If you're only attracted to the top tier of women, it always makes me wonder if you're really even attracted to women at all, because the guys I've known who really were into women loved a wide range of body types.

[NJ123]

I never wanted kids, so I get it, so why are you planning your dating life around that? Honestly, you are at the prime age. You're not over the hill or too young. I think men between 29-32 are the best age because if they're ever going to get over bed hopping and want companionship, they usually know that about then, and they hopefully are established in their career, and physically they're good looking as they're ever going to get. So it's not about your age.

 

But you ARE picking women who are too hot for you to get, apparently. Now, I know you can't help who the media has programmed you to be attracted to, but once you start dating people for what you have in common, I think you'll find your attraction expands. I am a bit shallow about looks and always went for really glamorous looking guys and a lot of them with just beautiful faces and very good looking. And I'm not in that league myself. Not a hot body, just a pretty face. But I found my niche in the music subculture and when I did, my popularity exploded compared to where it had been before. I ran with hot guys a lot, but I also fell for some in person who just had one or two things I found irresistable, and with whom I had a whole lot of music in common. We had a common passion, and it showed in how they dressed, even on the ones who weren't born gorgeous. Most popular guy in our crowd was 5'6", great face, but best of all great style, made his own clothes, etc.

 

I'm just saying to go where you have to go to find your niche, if you have a passion, follow it. If you don't, well, you should be trying everything and staying busy at least. It's a lot easier to fall in love with someone you connect with on that level than to ONLY rely on looks. And you already know that doesn't work for you. There are lots of pretty girls, but they are all looking for not only someone who is their attractiveness match but ALSO someone who shares at least some of their interests or history.

 

Most guys who fell for me, it was because I was around them every day at work or at music things and they didn't like my small boobs, I'm sure, but they just liked me and were able to concentrate more on my long legs and pretty face and hair, I imagine, but mostly it was about we had plenty to talk about together. Now, that doesn't mean anyone is going to jump 5 levels because of common interests and go with someone that is so unattractive as to be repugnant, for men or women, but there should normally be a wider range of what you are attracted to if you are attracted to women. If you're only attracted to the top tier of women, it always makes me wonder if you're really even attracted to women at all, because the guys I've known who really were into women loved a wide range of body types.

 

I'm not planning my dating life around that, but the thing is I'd like to think most women do want to have kids. At least there's a whole lot more that do want them than don't.

 

And as I said I'm not expecting some woman that looks like a model to be my girlfriend, just I want someone I'm personally attracted to. But it so happens that the women I find attractive it seems most other guys would too as I said based on the fact that most women I happen to see when out that I find attractive are usually always with a boyfriend/husband. And I'm not just attracted to 1 type of woman. I'd definitely go out with a curvy woman for instance & hair color & things like that doesn't matter to me. I just don't get how you think I'm not into women. Just feels like it's such an out there random thought you had.

 

Also, looks aren't the be all end all for me since they would be just as important as chemistry/personality. For instance if I thought a woman was extremely attractive yet I found her personality to be horrible, I wouldn't want anything to do with her. And on the flip side if her personality was awesome, yet there was no physical attraction or any sort of chemistry than it's the same thing where at best she would maybe be just a friend but nothing more than that.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Are most of the good women taken after a certain point where single guys at an older age don't have many good options? I really hope I don't insult anyone on here but it just seems whenever I have to interact with women at my job for instance literally 98% of the time the women I find attractive are always taken. I just don't think it's a coincidence where it happens every single time. They're either with their boyfriends or husbands or buying stuff for them. And they're always very nice & friendly too where I know the guy likely has a good wife/gf. I know of course I'd never ask out a woman at work, but it just seems most of the ones that most guys would like to be with are off the market already. I know there's some women that are career oriented where they don't date much or maybe they recently ended a long relationship for why they're still single, but don't most women of late 20s/early 30s already think about seriously having kids at that point if they don't already? Where can an older single guy meet relationship quality single women that are around the same age bracket?

 

If you think it's bad now, wait 10-15 more years...

 

Seriously though. Being around age 30 and complaining about a lack of single people is like being six feet tall and complaining about being short. It's the ideal age to be a single person. Unless you're from a very rural place.

[NJ123]

If you think it's bad now, wait 10-15 more years...

 

Seriously though. Being around age 30 and complaining about a lack of single people is like being six feet tall and complaining about being short. It's the ideal age to be a single person. Unless you're from a very rural place.

 

I guess that's true, but the thing is women around 30 as I said are seriously considering wanting kids in the near future already if they want them. I don't know if I even want kids. Basically the thing is I just don't know where I'm going to find a woman that has the qualities I'd want in a woman for a relationship as well as them possibly not wanting kids on top of that.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I guess that's true, but the thing is women around 30 as I said are seriously considering wanting kids in the near future already if they want them. I don't know if I even want kids. Basically the thing is I just don't know where I'm going to find a woman that has the qualities I'd want in a woman for a relationship as well as them possibly not wanting kids on top of that.

 

If you don't even want kids, then why do you care?

 

You can just keep dating and breaking up until you find somebody who is closer to what you want.

 

Who cares if it takes you until age 55 to find somebody who has all the qualities you seek, you don't want a family anyway.

[NJ123]

If you don't even want kids, then why do you care?

 

You can just keep dating and breaking up until you find somebody who is closer to what you want.

 

Who cares if it takes you until age 55 to find somebody who has all the qualities you seek, you don't want a family anyway.

 

I suppose so, as of right now I probably don't but I guess that could change later on as I get a lot older. I'd still ideally would like to be in a long term relationship with someone I really like though instead of just going from person to person every few months. Just would seem like a depressing way to live if you just move on from one person to the next all the time.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I suppose so, as of right now I probably don't but I guess that could change later on as I get a lot older. I'd still ideally would like to be in a long term relationship with someone I really like though instead of just going from person to person every few months. Just would seem like a depressing way to live if you just move on from one person to the next all the time.

 

Regardless of what you want, 30 is the optimal age.

 

You're just negative nancying yourself.

 

I remember when I was 22 and I was telling my friend I was too old to do this and that.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Let me put this into this perspective. My wife of almost 21 years who is a nurse is at work at the hospital today. She may meet some tall, handsome doctor and fall in love and pack up her stuff and move out at any time. That is a possibility. It happens.

 

Yes that will suck and yes I will be sad and hurt and yes my life will be in a period of upheaval for a period of time.

 

But I will survive it and I will go on to live a rich and full life after the divorce and I will in due time meet and date and hook up with a variety of women and I may even possibly even marry again.

 

And more importantly, the fact that she walks out today, does not erase or negate the fact that we had almost 21 years of marriage, building a home and family together, raising 2 awesome kids and having 20+ years of hot, monkey sex.

 

That 20+ years of good times and life experiences are not eliminated or negated. Yes the loss of that is sad and will leave a mark, but it doesn't eliminate it or make it null and void.

 

That's the link in the chain that I think a lot of you scardy-boyz aren't getting. You can experience loss and sadness and change in your lives, but you cry in your beer and leave a wetspot on your pillow case at night but then you get up the next day and carry on.

 

Life goes on. you have a period of sadness and adjustment but then you get out and start having fun again. You meet other people. You form other relationships and then one night before you know, some other young hottie is smoking your pole and you have her ankles up on your shoulders and you are back in the saddle and back in the game again.

 

When you are my age and have been there and done that, it all is chrystal clear. When you are hiding in your mom's basement and afraid to get your widdle feewings hurt, you can't grasp it.

 

Trust me, you are toughing and bolder and more resilient than you think. You can survive having some dude mad at you (assuming he doesn't shoot you in the head of course) and you can survive having some little hussy cheat on you and dump your azz.

 

You can and will survive those things and once you have gone through it and come out the other side, you come out stronger and more resilient.

 

But more importantly you come out smarter and wiser and you become better able to read people and better able to determine who the crappy people that are likely to mistreat you vs the people who are more honest and dependable are.

 

But you miss all of that when you hide out and shelter yourself in your mom's basement on the Game Boy.

 

I can't say I agree with all of the rest of your posts, but I agree with this one.

 

Life is an experience.

 

When you're younger, and I see this mentality on here all the time, you think of life as a contest. You need a high paying job, to be taller than the next guy, etc to get the most attractive mate with the best personality, highest status, etc.

 

In reality, life is painfully, painfully short. A few years pass by so quick. And before you know it, you're age 30, 40, 50, etc.

 

Dating is part of one of the enjoyable experiences of life, which I would compare to ... eating a great meal, spending time with good friends, or going on a very nice trip.

 

It always confuses me when people treat potential dating partners like spots in medical school or law school. You have to come with all the goods to get a spot.

[NJ123]

Regardless of what you want, 30 is the optimal age.

 

You're just negative nancying yourself.

 

I remember when I was 22 and I was telling my friend I was too old to do this and that.

 

lol true. I guess I just feel that way since I never seem to come across single women around my age that would make good girlfriends for me personally. They just seem really hard to find. There's plenty of single women around my age but the problem is are a lot of them relationship material is what it comes down to. I don't want to go into the qualities of what I want in a woman since I don't want to start a whole other topic, but it seems some of the things I want out of a woman is going to be difficult to find.

[ZA Dater]

I can't say I agree with all of the rest of your posts, but I agree with this one.

 

Life is an experience.

 

When you're younger, and I see this mentality on here all the time, you think of life as a contest. You need a high paying job, to be taller than the next guy, etc to get the most attractive mate with the best personality, highest status, etc.

 

In reality, life is painfully, painfully short. A few years pass by so quick. And before you know it, you're age 30, 40, 50, etc.

 

Dating is part of one of the enjoyable experiences of life, which I would compare to ... eating a great meal, spending time with good friends, or going on a very nice trip.

 

It always confuses me when people treat potential dating partners like spots in medical school or law school. You have to come with all the goods to get a spot.

 

Really. Ok that's good to know for those of us who never find any enjoyment from it at all.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Really. Ok that's good to know for those of us who never find any enjoyment from it at all.

 

It should be.

 

People make life a lot more difficult and miserable than it has to be.

 

Everybody should experience what it means to have a cool partner, but shallowness, social competition, and self centered behavior rule the day.

[Scared2loveagain]

Honestly I just got out of a 5 year relationship in which I gave the woman all of me. My heart, mind, body and soul and I guess it just wasn't enough for her in the long run. We were engaged since January and she broke it all off a month ago. I am still dealing with the hurt and the sting and the fear that there is nothing out there for me. She left me with insecurities and fears that I am not good enough or that I am not interesting enough.

 

I don't know if I will find another woman that can fill that void in my heart.

 

Are most of the good women taken after a certain point where single guys at an older age don't have many good options? I really hope I don't insult anyone on here but it just seems whenever I have to interact with women at my job for instance literally 98% of the time the women I find attractive are always taken. I just don't think it's a coincidence where it happens every single time. They're either with their boyfriends or husbands or buying stuff for them. And they're always very nice & friendly too where I know the guy likely has a good wife/gf. I know of course I'd never ask out a woman at work, but it just seems most of the ones that most guys would like to be with are off the market already. I know there's some women that are career oriented where they don't date much or maybe they recently ended a long relationship for why they're still single, but don't most women of late 20s/early 30s already think about seriously having kids at that point if they don't already? Where can an older single guy meet relationship quality single women that are around the same age bracket?

[ZA Dater]

It should be.

 

People make life a lot more difficult and miserable than it has to be.

 

Everybody should experience what it means to have a cool partner, but shallowness, social competition, and self centered behavior rule the day.

 

Possibly true unfortunately I think it just doesn't work for some people.

[normal person]

If you're single in your late 20s/early 30s, you're likely in a good spot. Consider the "investments" of time people make in their 20s and how it affects the rest of their lives.

 

I have a friend who's married to his second ever girlfriend, the one he met a week or two after he broke up with the previous one. They've been together for almost a decade. Another friend of mine got married at 25 and five years later, has 2 kids. There's nothing wrong with these decisions, but to me, they sure seemed like they've complicated or prevented a lot of potential growth, successes, experiences, adventures, etc that they might've had otherwise, and now that may be manifesting itself in unhappiness and resentment in them. But they invested their time in their relationships rather than other things (or at least a mixture of other things) that might have been more beneficial or differently satisfying. They might have left a lot of itches unscratched, so to speak. They put off getting advanced degrees, they didn't try hard enough to achieve their dreams because they had to compromise things for the relationships, etc. These people invested their time in romantic relationships, seemingly sometimes at the expense of their own personal goals and desires.

 

Conversely, I have another friend who's single and all he does is make friends, try and be the life of the party, stay out late, party, and generally act like a teenager (he's 30). Recently it's come out that he's got some sort of depression or anxiety and my guess is that he doesn't feel "loved." He's spent his 20s trying to be liked, and even though he is, he still feels empty inside, probably because he hasn't accomplished much professionally and most of his friends have advanced further in life than he has. He chose to invest in social relationships above all else, and the dividends were not that great.

 

All things considered, I think a measured approach is good. If you're in your late 20s/early 30s and you're still single, hopefully you've invested your time wisely. Like in your career, or in doing things you can't do when you're older, things that make you interesting, etc. There is no better age to be if you've taken the time to do things wisely, like built a great career, saved your money, learned your lessons, conquered all your demons, and gotten whatever needs to be exorcized out of your system. I just turned 30 and admittedly, watching my friends pair off and get married made me doubt my choices at times, but seeing them subsequently falter and experience less than ideal situations reaffirmed to me that I was going about things the right way by clearing out all the obstacles before I decided to run the track. I won't have any of their problems like money, or feeling resentful because I never sowed my wild oats, or not picking the right career path and being miserable about it/making my partner/kids miserable, etc.

 

So in my mind, if you're at the age, you have a distinct advantage which will make you incredibly attractive. You can solve all your problems and figure out your life path ahead of time, before you settle down and have it complicated by another person (and possibly kids), which will hopefully yield a much less problematic life, barring any unforeseen circumstances. If you're in your late 20s/early 30s with it all figured out, you are a prime, grade A bachelor with no baggage. Women age 25-30 will beat a path to your door. Solve your problems, figure your life out, be interesting, be responsible, plan ahead, and the rest of life will hopefully be pretty easy and fun. I'm 30 and I'm loving every second of it, largely because I spent my late 20s busting my ass, making mistakes, learning from them, and not diving into anything too impulsively.

[Els]

don't most women of late 20s/early 30s already think about seriously having kids at that point if they don't already?

 

Women who want kids will likely be seriously thinking about it at that point, but not all women want kids. Curious why this is being mentioned though. Is it because you're not wanting a serious R at this stage?

 

Anyway, I think that for both sexes it generally gets a little harder the older you get, simply due to the fact that there are more single people in the early 20s than in the early 30s. But it's never impossible at any age, especially if you have your **** together.

[NJ123]

Women who want kids will likely be seriously thinking about it at that point, but not all women want kids. Curious why this is being mentioned though. Is it because you're not wanting a serious R at this stage?

 

Anyway, I think that for both sexes it generally gets a little harder the older you get, simply due to the fact that there are more single people in the early 20s than in the early 30s. But it's never impossible at any age, especially if you have your **** together.

 

Because I'm unsure if I even want kids. I just don't know what I'm going to do at this rate really. For me to find someone that has all the qualities I'd want in a woman & for her to like me back just seems like finding a needle in a haystack.

[NJ123]

Solve this like any other problem. Break it down. Why is it so difficult to meet someone you want?

 

Because I'm inexperienced in dating for one, as well as have some health issues I'm still trying to fix. Basically any quality woman I'd fine attractive wouldn't want me since most of them would feel they could do better.

[Els]

Because I'm unsure if I even want kids.

 

This isn't likely to be a huge issue - especially if you live in a developed country, there are more people than ever choosing to be child-free. Of both genders.

 

I just don't know what I'm going to do at this rate really. For me to find someone that has all the qualities I'd want in a woman & for her to like me back just seems like finding a needle in a haystack.

 

Finding a compatible partner for a happy relationship that lasts in the long run IS a bit like finding a needle in a haystack, for almost everyone. You just gotta do what other people do - put yourself out there, talk to women, and make some mistakes.

 

What are you doing to meet women, what qualities do you need in her, and what do you have to offer in return? You don't have to answer here if you don't want to, but worth considering and seeing where the overlap lies. If there isn't much (or any) overlap, then perhaps time to consider working on some things.