Christianity vs. Wicca [dating compatibility]

[h0000]

I have a feeling you will enjoy his company and start hanging out with him more and without even realising, you are dating him. Although it's against your initial will, you will do it anyway.

 

 

Sorry to be blunt but you seem to go from man to man fairly quickly.

[ChickiePops]

If a relationship has to be reduced to something versus something then it's probably not going to work.

 

I was raised Jewish and my fiancé was raised Catholic. Neither of us cares. At all. It works.

[CarrieT]

I started studying Wicca about 35 years ago. Then I taught it. And had a call-in radio show to answer questions about it. Then I went the way of the ceremonial magickian.

 

For 30-some years, I pretty much only got involved with like-minded thinkers (ceremonial magicians, pagans, agnostics, druids, etc...)

 

Then it surprised me when I started dating a man who had also studied as many religions as I had but essentially converted to Lutheranism (even those he is mostly Jewish).

 

Despite his Christianity and my devout occult tendencies, we get along splendidly - mostly because our CORE BELIEFS in how we treat people and believe people should be treated is the same. I occasionally attend church with him (Christmas and Easter) and he attends Gnostic Mass with me.

 

If people talk openly about their philosophies and if those core beliefs gibe, I see no reason two seemingly disparate religious can't coincide within a relationship.

[Imajerk17]

OP, I thought you were taking a break from dating? It's clear that you are not really, if you are already concerned about religious compatibility (flip-flopping again).

 

It's not the difference in religion so much, as how open-minded the individuals themselves are, to answer your original question.

[Dis]

It went well actually

 

To my surprise he is not a conservative Christian (just a laid back Christian and he doesnt go to church). He was fun, a good conversationalist, interesting, not dull or boring at all which was refreshing because the last guy I dated was super dull and not that fun to be around.

 

He seemed alittle kooky. Alittle ummm eccentric....def out there...which isnt bad because I'm far from "normal" but he seemed alittle too out there

 

We had great convo though. Def a 2 sided convo. I did not tell him I'm Wiccan. I never feel comfortable telling people that right off the bat. And seeing that he wasnt super Christian...I didnt feel it would be a problem anyway.

 

We are both white, and I asked him if he had been dating and how that was going for him. He said, "Eh, I kind of lose interest in the girls I date, but they're not like you." I said, "Why?" He said, "I usually date black girls and they come on way too strong." So that kind of tipped me off. Any guy that says he "Gets bored of girls"...well thats a red flag.

 

At the end of the dinner, he walked me to my car. He went in for a kiss and we made out for awhile. He pulled me into him, tight against his body, he grabbed my ass too....I didnt mind...I thought it was hot. I like that type of thing. Then when we were finished he looked at me like in the most intense way....like he had just achieved the greatest conquest that he had been waiting for for years. It was like he was amazed or something.

 

But no....I dont see him as bf material....or someone I'd like to pursue. I'll go out with him and have fun but nothing more than that. And at the end of the day....I really need to be on my own for a good while. I have alot to sort out....alot of work to do on myself.

 

Theres another reason it really would never work...When I was 18, I started self medicating with alcohol. I stopped drinking when I was 20 and attended some AA meetings. Thats where I met him. He's a recovering alcoholic. I stopped drinking for about 8 years because I no longer felt comfortable drinking. For awhile now, when I go out with my girlfriends, I have a drink or two....But I feel like I could never tell him this. Even though I drink casually, he would view it as a relapse. So would everyone thats big into AA. So I'm pretty sure it wouldnt work because of this anyway.

 

All in all...even though I'm not going to pursue anything with him...I'm glad I went. Good convo, dinner and makeout session. Win win

[MidwestUSA]

Does he know you're not going to pursue anything with him? After his 'conquest' and all, he may be thinking otherwise.

 

Should you have gone there, knowing it 'wasn't a date'? Or are you going to be FWBs?

[bachdude]

It went well actually

 

To my surprise he is not a conservative Christian (just a laid back Christian and he doesnt go to church). He was fun, a good conversationalist, interesting, not dull or boring at all which was refreshing because the last guy I dated was super dull and not that fun to be around.

 

He seemed alittle kooky. Alittle ummm eccentric....def out there...which isnt bad because I'm far from "normal" but he seemed alittle too out there

 

We had great convo though. Def a 2 sided convo. I did not tell him I'm Wiccan. I never feel comfortable telling people that right off the bat. And seeing that he wasnt super Christian...I didnt feel it would be a problem anyway.

 

We are both white, and I asked him if he had been dating and how that was going for him. He said, "Eh, I kind of lose interest in the girls I date, but they're not like you." I said, "Why?" He said, "I usually date black girls and they come on way too strong." So that kind of tipped me off. Any guy that says he "Gets bored of girls"...well thats a red flag.

 

At the end of the dinner, he walked me to my car. He went in for a kiss and we made out for awhile. He pulled me into him, tight against his body, he grabbed my ass too....I didnt mind...I thought it was hot. I like that type of thing. Then when we were finished he looked at me like in the most intense way....like he had just achieved the greatest conquest that he had been waiting for for years. It was like he was amazed or something.

 

But no....I dont see him as bf material....or someone I'd like to pursue. I'll go out with him and have fun but nothing more than that. And at the end of the day....I really need to be on my own for a good while. I have alot to sort out....alot of work to do on myself.

 

Theres another reason it really would never work...When I was 18, I started self medicating with alcohol. I stopped drinking when I was 20 and attended some AA meetings. Thats where I met him. He's a recovering alcoholic. I stopped drinking for about 8 years because I no longer felt comfortable drinking. For awhile now, when I go out with my girlfriends, I have a drink or two....But I feel like I could never tell him this. Even though I drink casually, he would view it as a relapse. So would everyone thats big into AA. So I'm pretty sure it wouldnt work because of this anyway.

 

All in all...even though I'm not going to pursue anything with him...I'm glad I went. Good convo, dinner and makeout session. Win win

 

 

And yet another thread where posters worked themselves up, made assumptions, and stereotypical generalizations about a guy they knew nothing about.

[Gr8fuln2020]

And yet another thread where posters worked themselves up, made assumptions, and stereotypical generalizations about a guy they knew nothing about.

 

 

I find such sentiments funny. Of course we do, we KNOW nothing about anyone ANYONE shares with us. Not really. Every person that comes onto a social media forum generalizes, makes observations and suggestions, assumptions, etc. LS is all about that and that is what people who come on here expect, want and fail to understand will come about....

 

So, he wasn't as conservative religiously. No one claimed that he was. We provided ifs and possibilities...based on what the OP provided.

[bachdude]

I find such sentiments funny. Of course we do, we KNOW nothing about anyone ANYONE shares with us. Not really. Every person that comes onto a social media forum generalizes, makes observations and suggestions, assumptions, etc. LS is all about that and that is what people who come on here expect, want and fail to understand will come about....

 

So, he wasn't as conservative religiously. No one claimed that he was. We provided ifs and possibilities...based on what the OP provided.

 

 

What I am saying is there were stereotypes thrown around based on what posters assumed a conservative Republican and/or Christian would be like. That has nothing to do with LS and everything to do with stereotypes people have floating around in their heads.

[Dis]

Does he know you're not going to pursue anything with him? After his 'conquest' and all, he may be thinking otherwise.

 

Should you have gone there, knowing it 'wasn't a date'? Or are you going to be FWBs?

 

Very good point Midwest. Thank you

 

I'm not sure what he thinks. But I know he is hopeful about me and developing some type of relationship with me. He was really into me on the date and I know he has had these feeling for a long time

 

I dont want to disappoint him but I'm going to have to tell him where I stand....I just dont want to hurt him. You're right...I shouldve made it clear that it wasnt a date...just a get together...s**t...I dont know how to tell him this. I think he's excited now

 

I dont really what he thinks is going to happen now....but I'm sure its not what I think it going to happen

 

I wouldnt do the FWB thing

[katiegrl]

Very good point Midwest. Thank you

 

I'm not sure what he thinks. But I know he is hopeful about me and developing some type of relationship with me. He was really into me on the date and I know he has had these feeling for a long time

 

I dont want to disappoint him but I'm going to have to tell him where I stand....I just dont want to hurt him. You're right...I shouldve made it clear that it wasnt a date...just a get together...s**t...I dont know how to tell him this. I think he's excited now

 

I dont really what he thinks is going to happen now....but I'm sure its not what I think it going to happen

 

I wouldnt do the FWB thing

 

Hi Dis.... question for ya.

 

Knowing you don't wish to develop anything with him, what would compel you to allow him to pull you close and make out with him?

 

Not judging, just curious .... cause imo that is a bit misleading.

[Dis]

Hi Dis.... question for ya.

 

Knowing you don't wish to develop anything with him, what would compel you to allow him to pull you close and make out with him?

 

Not judging, just curious .... cause imo that is a bit misleading.

 

Hi girly!

 

It is misleading...I guess I just wanted that close...intimate...passionate contact....I dont know why but I really like it...its comforting and a turn on for me

 

When we were ending the date...I thought to myself "Dont let him kiss you because you know you're not starting anything right now"

 

But when we got to the parking lot...I let it happen

 

I dont know what to tell him now....I dont want anything with anyone right now...its not him personally...I dont want him to feel bad....I just dont know how to handle this....I shouldnt have let him kiss me

[Ami1uwant]

Some people can readily coexist with other religions, even when dating. Some can't. If he is a conservative Christian, then he probably won't be tolerant of your beliefs - but there are always exceptions.

 

Can he be respectful as a friend, though? Maybe you'll find out if you share it with him. Of course, if he starts talking about religion and shows any intolerance, it may be simpler to leave him in ignorance.

 

Religion is one of those fundamental aspects of a relationship. If you are different you are likely not going to last long term in a relationship.....but in a friendship this means very little.

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

I'm a vegan, who believes in climate change and goes on nature retreats. I went out with a guy who does not believe in climate change, believes woman have a definite role in a relationship, behind a man and slightly above children and was hugely controlling.

 

He was very conservative and very Christian.

 

Even though I am Christian too, his version of Christianity made me feel nauseous.

 

There are varying degrees of Christianity. But I find the Republican + Christian types like Sean Hannity off of Fox ( or anyone off of Fox) are people I want to avoid with a steel pole.

 

This guy was hugely intolerant of my beliefs! And I love Jesus!

 

I would be careful. At the end of the day, what are your core beliefs? It's quite important I think to reevaluate what they are to you, to determine a better fit.

[Gr8fuln2020]

For the record, it isn't just Christians that can be preachy, although many can. I have met some rather preachy Atheists in my day as well.

 

Of course this is true. But within THIS thread, the focus was on a "potential" conservative christian.

 

Also, it should be noted that there were observations that were shared that his conservative republican and christian identification may be more of a social/political leaning than religious. It turns out that that was the case. So, stereotypes aside, the OP was not given biased information, rather, information that was based on only the information she provided.

[Kamille]

I'm less worried about him being led on and more concerned about you diving headfirst into a complicated (non) relationship.

 

I feel like you saying he's not boyfriend material but still wanting to see him is you not taking personal responsibility for yourself and your actions. If you are going to date him, be mindful and accountable. Don't use "he's not boyfriend material" to overlook red flags and incompatibilities. Be present.

 

And whatever you feel is right for you, communicate it to him. For instance, tell him what you wrote here: that you don't want anything with anyone right now (but are still interested in hanging out with him?). That way, he can adjust his expectations accordingly and make the right decision for himself.

[AlwaysAKL]

Depends what type of Christian you are.

 

I am Catholic, which is the very first Christian religion, and we don't promote prejudice like you are mentioning.

 

This prejudice that I mention is in the Bible and I beg to differ on Catholic being the first Christian religion....

[losangelena]

Hi girly!

 

It is misleading...I guess I just wanted that close...intimate...passionate contact....I dont know why but I really like it...its comforting and a turn on for me

 

When we were ending the date...I thought to myself "Dont let him kiss you because you know you're not starting anything right now"

 

But when we got to the parking lot...I let it happen

 

I dont know what to tell him now....I dont want anything with anyone right now...its not him personally...I dont want him to feel bad....I just dont know how to handle this....I shouldnt have let him kiss me

 

Okay, first, the bolded.

 

Umm, pretty much everyone likes that feeling. Everyone likes it when someone is attracted to them and wants them. No doy.

 

But that's why you figure out what you actually want first, and THEN conduct yourself accordingly. If he doesn't seem like BF material, or you don't want a BF at the moment (which you continually say), then you decline the date BEFORE you go. You don't go, make out with him (for christ's sake), and then tell him, "oh, oopsie, I didn't actually want to do that."

 

Think first, then act.

 

Conversely, if you are fine with FWB, then by all means, carry on with the making out and azz-grabbing. But if you don't want that, then no kissing, and no going out! Say no from the outset!

[jen1447]

It's probably going to be a dealbreaker. I am a Christian and conflicting beliefs will cause stress. The Bible says to not be "unequally yoked" which means a believer with a nonbeliever....

 

OT but this is awesome. Does the Bible really say that? I love it when modern and antiquated language come together like that ....a modern read being that the Bible says that partners should be equally well-muscled.

[Robert]

Let's keep this thread topical and avoid violating any of our community guidelines. We've received several reports on this thread and although we haven't deleted any posts, we are watching the thread.

 

Thank you,

~6

[mortensorchid]

If the right guy came alone time being single and to work on myself. I start therapy in a week

 

If this is the case, don't be with him at all. You'll bring a lot of problems to it out of the gate.

[Dis]

I'm less worried about him being led on and more concerned about you diving headfirst into a complicated (non) relationship.

 

I feel like you saying he's not boyfriend material but still wanting to see him is you not taking personal responsibility for yourself and your actions. If you are going to date him, be mindful and accountable. Don't use "he's not boyfriend material" to overlook red flags and incompatibilities. Be present.

 

And whatever you feel is right for you, communicate it to him. For instance, tell him what you wrote here: that you don't want anything with anyone right now (but are still interested in hanging out with him?). That way, he can adjust his expectations accordingly and make the right decision for himself.

 

Hi Kamille! Thanks for the wise words

 

Tbh...I dont know that I want to go out with him again...I dont have the energy to be in any type of relationship or non-relationship...I just want to have fun

 

I just went out with him without thinking...I didnt think it could hurt because I wasnt taking any of it seriously...I'm just kind of blowing in the breeze right now and it feels good to be rid of the pressures of dating. For the first time.....I simply dont care. I dont think I've ever felt that way about dating....ever

 

I dont care if I find the right guy or not at this point. I lost that intense need to date someone and be with someone....like I said, it feels liberating

 

I didnt overlook any red flags or incompatiblities. I identified a few. But they dont really matter to me because I'm not going to pursue anything with him

 

I do need to be clear with him about where I'm at...and will do so next time I talk to him.

 

I dont see anything wrong with going out with a guy and having a good time as long as I'm honest with him about where I'm at....and thats where I fell short

[Dis]

Okay, first, the bolded.

 

Umm, pretty much everyone likes that feeling. Everyone likes it when someone is attracted to them and wants them. No doy.

 

But that's why you figure out what you actually want first, and THEN conduct yourself accordingly. If he doesn't seem like BF material, or you don't want a BF at the moment (which you continually say), then you decline the date BEFORE you go. You don't go, make out with him (for christ's sake), and then tell him, "oh, oopsie, I didn't actually want to do that."

 

Think first, then act.

 

Conversely, if you are fine with FWB, then by all means, carry on with the making out and azz-grabbing. But if you don't want that, then no kissing, and no going out! Say no from the outset!

 

Hi losangelena! Thanks for the reply

 

Yes...I shouldve been more clear about where I stood....I'll let him know next time I talk to him

 

But honestly...whats the harm in making out?

 

I dont want a bf or any type of relationship....def not FWB

 

The past year I've been sooooo serious about dating....so dead set on finding the right one and calculating my every move and questioning every move...it was so stressful

 

It felt good to just let go

 

I dont care about dating or potential bfs anymore...I lost the last f*ck I gave

 

I just want to throw caution to the wind and have fun

[Gr8fuln2020]

Hi losangelena! Thanks for the reply

 

Yes...I shouldve been more clear about where I stood....I'll let him know next time I talk to him

 

But honestly...whats the harm in making out?

 

I dont want a bf or any type of relationship....def not FWB

 

The past year I've been sooooo serious about dating....so dead set on finding the right one and calculating my every move and questioning every move...it was so stressful

 

It felt good to just let go

 

I dont care about dating or potential bfs anymore...I lost the last f*ck I gave

 

I just want to throw caution to the wind and have fun

 

I am now confused. You asked LS about your this guy, but you want to throw caution to the wind?! So, what does it matter what other people think? Just go for it and see where that recklessness(?) leads you. I mean, it sounds like having fun is your priority now...that will not take away from the sting of past dating failures... oh, on the contrary.

 

Just be careful. Desperately disappointed people do desperate things...and it always leads towards a road of reckoning....

[Dis]

I am now confused. You asked LS about your this guy, but you want to throw caution to the wind?! So, what does it matter what other people think? Just go for it and see where that recklessness(?) leads you. I mean, it sounds like having fun is your priority now...that will not take away from the sting of past dating failures... oh, on the contrary.

 

Just be careful. Desperately disappointed people do desperate things...and it always leads towards a road of reckoning....

 

Hi simpleNfit!

 

I was just curious about what people thought of the religion issue. I wasnt evaluating him as if I wanted to marry him. Since we began talking...I wasnt serious about him...I shouldve told him that

 

I not looking to numb any pain or disappointment I've had in the past. I truly believe that I cant heal from any of that if I dont allow myself to feel it....process it

 

The thing is...I'm not desperate for anything or anyone....I was 100% desperate for the past year....getting rid of that feeling is relieving

 

I guess I'm just tired about thinking about things so much. Anyone who has read my threads knows how much I over think. It just feels nice to not think at all

 

How do you think I'm being reckless? I'm not disagreeing with you at all...just curious