This is nuts. Long story ahead!

[No_Go]

I had an ex having made similar grandiose comments (I almost though it is the same guy! Is he 31yo blonde AMJ?).

 

Well, the truth for him turned to be prosaic - he was a raging alcoholic (although he had insanely high tolerance because of years of binge drinking, so I didn't get it immediately). AND he would lure women into relationships with him ('see how interesting person I am - fought with crocodiles and nearly died diving') - so they can pay his bills.

 

He had a string of 'abusive' girlfriends that he escaped from creatively - I 'saved' him from his last one who was calling him screaming (I understood later it was because he owed her 10s of thousands of dollars).

 

This type of people, in general, are bad news - AMJ run away and block his number, you'll thank yourself later...

[No_Go]

LA you just got lucky... My first relationship was with a guy with shady story, although very interesting, great sex etc. He ended up assaulting me twice. First time I brushed it off, second time I had bruises everywhere.

 

Another 'interesting' guy that also had issues with grandiosity and drugs that I dated - robbed me thousands of dollars...

 

In general I'm kind of 'happy' that his happened to me because I learned to steer clear from types like this... Otherwise this was the 'type' that I was most attracted to (the 'interesting man with remarkable past')

 

 

AMJ, I'm not sure why exactly it is that you're asking for opinions. I think, bottom line, is whether or not you want to keep seeing him. I mean, I think we're mostly resolute in saying, "no effing way," but ... who cares if he entices you? I mean, forget thinking that you "should" feel one way or the other about him. You're clearly ambivalent, and I think that's fine. We're often attracted, at some point in our lives, to someone we "shouldn't" be attracted to.

 

A couple of years ago I was in a FWB situation with a guy who sold drugs (and took them regularly), and yes, kept a shotgun under his bed. There is nothing about my makeup or lifestyle that would suggest that he was a good match. Yet oddly, I trusted him, felt safe with him. We hooked up for a summer, and I had the best sex of my life. I also decided to go see a therapist, because I was like, "what is it about this guy that I'm so attracted to?" Anyway, it was a quote-unquote bad situation that ended up bearing a lot of good fruit. And nothing untoward happened to me as a result of seeing someone like him for a few months. I had some great sex, had some fun late-night conversations with a really interesting person, I felt cared-for in some way, and close to someone, and I don't regret it. But, aside from the therapy (which I needed anyway), I didn't feel bad about hooking up with a guy like him. I don't regret it.

 

Don't worry so much about this, I guess is what I'm saying. He's clearly not "love of your life" material, but don't worry about the fact that you're attracted to him.

[jen1447]

I had an ex having made similar grandiose comments (I almost though it is the same guy! Is he 31yo blonde AMJ?).

 

Well, the truth for him turned to be prosaic - he was a raging alcoholic (although he had insanely high tolerance because of years of binge drinking, so I didn't get it immediately). AND he would lure women into relationships with him ('see how interesting person I am - fought with crocodiles and nearly died diving') - so they can pay his bills.

 

He had a string of 'abusive' girlfriends that he escaped from creatively - I 'saved' him from his last one who was calling him screaming (I understood later it was because he owed her 10s of thousands of dollars).

 

This type of people, in general, are bad news - AMJ run away and block his number, you'll thank yourself later...

 

Truth here ....this could also be part time or full time con Amjam, either wholly or even in conjunction w some mental illness. He may need financial backing bc the shadowy figures who tirelessly break into his home managed to get to his safe once before he drove them away w a crowbar and a fire extinguisher (tho he believes he can get the money back bc the feds contacted him and told him they're holding it in escrow until Gary Johnson is installed as President and turns the financial markets upside down ....) Or that he needs to make a down payment on a settlement negotiation against the ppl who planted the tree he crashed into before he can collect his $57,000,000 award ....

 

Etc. Yeah just get away, nothing for you there.

[AMJ]

I'm just thinking that if he hadn't told those stories, or toned them down a bit, he would seem like a completely normal guy. He's got his life together and is successful, and responsible. I'm kinda disappointed I guess.

 

And he did worry about telling me too much, scaring me away. Or at least he said he didn't want to scare me away. Why would someone go into all that on a first date, knowing that most women would be scared away?

 

So last year I went on a date with a guy who also spilled a ton of unattractive personal information in the first hour of our date. I kept thinking- wow, more dirty laundry....and I'm not even done folding the last pile of laundry he just dumped on me. The difference was those details weren't exciting at all- stuff like foreclosing on a house and financial struggles, a dead brother, a really nasty gross medical condition....stuff that you'd normally wait a while to dump on a girl you're dating.

 

People say I'm easy to talk to and tend to overshare, so I'm used to that.

 

Idk. I'm just trying to figure this one out. I don't really think he's crazy. Or maybe I don't want to believe that he's crazy :/

[jen1447]

Idk. I'm just trying to figure this one out. I don't really think he's crazy. Or maybe I don't want to believe that he's crazy :/

 

I'm usually very reluctant to jump to conclusions but trust me - the sinister forces breaking in thing is such a staple of paranoid schizophrenia that it has it's own category like an urban legend. Versions of that story are literally told over and over again by ppl suffering mental illness, so yeah, I'm comfy saying it really means that he's crazy. :/

 

As to the mixed results, crazy ppl usually aren't like Joker crazy - they may be quite stable and even function very well in other parts of their lives. Just one of those things.

[No_Go]

Either that (mental illness) or addiction (he was high on something that day - that can explain why otherwise he appears 'normal' or the most worrisome - potential con.

 

My ex started like this (some insane accident that he had while diving etc), then moved to an ex (turned not to be ex) girlfriend stealing money from him and threatening him, so I let him live with me and 'borrowed' him cash - initially for small things alike taxis when his 'ex' was 'stealing' his bank cards, then... slowly but surely - for EVERYTHING.

 

So my advice - if he EVER asks to borrow money because if some insanely sounding excuse, even if it is negligible amount - RUN run away, he's testing your boundaries.

 

I'm usually very reluctant to jump to conclusions but trust me - the sinister forces breaking in thing is such a staple of paranoid schizophrenia that it has it's own category like an urban legend. Versions of that story are literally told over and over again by ppl suffering mental illness, so yeah, I'm comfy saying it really means that he's crazy. :/

 

As to the mixed results, crazy ppl usually aren't like Joker crazy - they may be quite stable and even function very well in other parts of their lives. Just one of those things.

[AMJ]

Either that (mental illness) or addiction (he was high on something that day - that can explain why otherwise he appears 'normal' or the most worrisome - potential con.

 

My ex started like this (some insane accident that he had while diving etc), then moved to an ex (turned not to be ex) girlfriend stealing money from him and threatening him, so I let him live with me and 'borrowed' him cash - initially for small things alike taxis when his 'ex' was 'stealing' his bank cards, then... slowly but surely - for EVERYTHING.

 

So my advice - if he EVER asks to borrow money because if some insanely sounding excuse, even if it is negligible amount - RUN run away, he's testing your boundaries.

 

I don't think he's scrounging around for money. Unless I was in a serious relationship- or married, I'd never give someone money.

[AMJ]

I'm usually very reluctant to jump to conclusions but trust me - the sinister forces breaking in thing is such a staple of paranoid schizophrenia that it has it's own category like an urban legend. Versions of that story are literally told over and over again by ppl suffering mental illness, so yeah, I'm comfy saying it really means that he's crazy. :/

 

As to the mixed results, crazy ppl usually aren't like Joker crazy - they may be quite stable and even function very well in other parts of their lives. Just one of those things.

 

Maybe his delusions sound like movies because he's worked in the film industry too long? He thinks the things he sees on set are actually happening to him or something? It really did sound like someone was reading a screenplay from a movie when he was talking. Is that psychosis?

 

Maybe his injuries are from something he doesn't want to talk about, therefore made up the motorcycle accident story?

[jen1447]

Maybe his delusions sound like movies because he's worked in the film industry too long? He thinks the things he sees on set are actually happening to him or something? It really did sound like someone was reading a screenplay from a movie when he was talking. Is that psychosis?

 

Maybe his injuries are from something he doesn't want to talk about, therefore made up the motorcycle accident story?

 

The injuries are probably mundane - 40 mph car accident like yours. It's common enough, not many of us get thru life w /out some bang up or another.

 

Hmmm ....tbh hon I'm not sure I believe the tv/movies thing either. You said he has an IMDB page or sth? What does he supposedly do exactly?

[AMJ]

His imdb page links to actual TV shows. That has to be real. I know that pretty much anyone can create those, but when your page has the movie or TV show logo on it, I'm pretty sure that's legit.. he works on the set, installing lighting. I did quiz him on that too, he seemed to know a lot about camera lighting.

 

Partially I hate thinking that I believed a bunch of lies because it makes it that much more difficult to trust people going forward. I do try to leave baggage in the past but then things like this happen and it's like...did I actually just sit there and listen to three hours of pathological lying? And believe it? I was skeptical but he was believable.

 

It's those kind of experiences that make me want to throw in the towel, seriously.

[jen1447]

His imdb page links to actual TV shows. That has to be real. I know that pretty much anyone can create those, but when your page has the movie or TV show logo on it, I'm pretty sure that's legit.. he works on the set, installing lighting. I did quiz him on that too, he seemed to know a lot about camera lighting.

 

Partially I hate thinking that I believed a bunch of lies because it makes it that much more difficult to trust people going forward. I do try to leave baggage in the past but then things like this happen and it's like...did I actually just sit there and listen to three hours of pathological lying? And believe it? I was skeptical but he was believable.

 

It's those kind of experiences that make me want to throw in the towel, seriously.

 

Is there a picture on his IMDB page that matches him? Sorry to be all detective, it just almost seems like a given that BS (or delusion lol) just breeds more BS, so I'd be skeptical of bscly everything he told you on general principles.

 

I understand feeling crappy about it and you should take this as a lesson to be a bit more discerning maybe, but don't feel too bad - some ppl are really good cons (esp the ones who believe their own cons), and also it's easy to be taken off guard when you're going in w hopes of just enjoying a casual date and get-to-know-you as opposed to being interviewed by the FBI. Also you were skeptical enough to ask here.

 

Just go forth w a more critical eye and an even bigger smile. It doesn't have to mean anything really bad, it just is. Best you know.

[JenniC]

I haven't read the whole thread, but wanted to post anyway.

 

My ex had really similar stories. He was recruited by MI5, he was a professional hacker, he once got drunk and woke up covered in blood that wasn't his, etc...so many more crazy stories that I can't even remember!

 

None were true, he was just a delusional self-obsessed idiot. The relationship became abusive and controlling; the only thing that mattered was him, and how he wanted things. However; like your guy, to begin with he was kind, caring, interesting, intelligent.

 

Can't believe I fell for it now, looking back...but I did! Just be careful. Even if his stories have some truth to them, they're at least a bit fabricated. And if not, that's one hell of a life he's had and I would wonder what's happened to make it that way!

[No_Go]

Jenni - this stories are either viral or we dated the same guy!!! My full of sh*t ex alcoholic came with 2 of 3 of your stories! Give me a Hint of it is the Same man (or they attended the same school for 'social engineers')

 

I'm so mad at cons like this that I feel like screaming it to AMJ, although I know the only way to learn is to experience it...

 

I haven't read the whole thread, but wanted to post anyway.

 

My ex had really similar stories. He was recruited by MI5, he was a professional hacker, he once got drunk and woke up covered in blood that wasn't his, etc...so many more crazy stories that I can't even remember!

 

None were true, he was just a delusional self-obsessed idiot. The relationship became abusive and controlling; the only thing that mattered was him, and how he wanted things. However; like your guy, to begin with he was kind, caring, interesting, intelligent.

 

Can't believe I fell for it now, looking back...but I did! Just be careful. Even if his stories have some truth to them, they're at least a bit fabricated. And if not, that's one hell of a life he's had and I would wonder what's happened to make it that way!

[JenniC]

Jenni - this stories are either viral or we dated the same guy!!! My full of sh*t ex alcoholic came with 2 of 3 of your stories! Give me a Hint of it is the Same man (or they attended the same school for 'social engineers')

 

I'm so mad at cons like this that I feel like screaming it to AMJ, although I know the only way to learn is to experience it...

 

I swear there must be classes that these guys attend! I don't know what world they live in but somehow it's so easy to fall for it, because when they overshare so much we feel almost compelled to pity them or drawn in, as they've given so much information. It's like lulling us into a false sense of security!

 

I just hope AMJ can find out before it's too late. My guy ended up robbing me of about £6,000. £3,000 over a long period and the other half just straight up gone. Got it back in the end with the help of a very intimidating father but that doesn't solve it! I was reeling from issues for so long afterwards, I ended up in therapy!

[No_Go]

Mine managed to rob from me ~$10,000 in the 6 months that I was in contact with him, I recovered some (by selling the stuff that I bought for him) but still I left 'happy' with ~$7,000 net loss.

 

And he did that in 6 months relationship. I swear I'm petrified even thinking what the woman before me lost because she stayed with him few years.

 

The woman after me - she called me he robbed ~$10,000 from her as well - similar con, 8 months long relationship, and she was about to sue him for assault and battery as well. I didn't want to witness because I'm scared from him (he has zero morals), but I'm glad at least one in his string of victims stood up for herself!!

 

This relationship, besides the money loss, made me distrust man which nearly costed me my relationship with my current bf.

 

So let's repeat to AMJ: trust your gut - when something looks like a duck, walks like a duck.. It IS.. Walk away before you get harmed!

 

 

I swear there must be classes that these guys attend! I don't know what world they live in but somehow it's so easy to fall for it, because when they overshare so much we feel almost compelled to pity them or drawn in, as they've given so much information. It's like lulling us into a false sense of security!

 

I just hope AMJ can find out before it's too late. My guy ended up robbing me of about £6,000. £3,000 over a long period and the other half just straight up gone. Got it back in the end with the help of a very intimidating father but that doesn't solve it! I was reeling from issues for so long afterwards, I ended up in therapy!

[Popsicle]

I say go for it AMJ and see what happens.

[dcamnc]

Dude is nuts. As an aside, I'm a cop, and cops can't run people unless they have some real reason to, like reasonable suspicion or probable cause. Your friends could get in major trouble for running someone for you fyi. Did I mention the dude is nuts?

[AMJ]

Dude is nuts. As an aside, I'm a cop, and cops can't run people unless they have some real reason to, like reasonable suspicion or probable cause. Your friends could get in major trouble for running someone for you fyi. Did I mention the dude is nuts?

 

I just laughed because I've known more than one of you to break some of those rules on plenty of occasions. But I know technically you're not supposed to do that and can get in trouble. My friend's husband owes me one. Or five. Anyway.

I told my friend this story and he said I need a chaperone if I even think of going out with storyteller again.

 

But I probably won't see him again. I don't think he wants to extort money out of me or beat me up, I'm pretty sure he just wants to have sex with me....but he's just too strange. And I'm finally growing out of strange, I think.

[jen1447]

Dude is nuts. As an aside, I'm a cop, and cops can't run people unless they have some real reason to, like reasonable suspicion or probable cause. Your friends could get in major trouble for running someone for you fyi. Did I mention the dude is nuts?

 

I just laughed because I've known more than one of you to break some of those rules on plenty of occasions. But I know technically you're not supposed to do that and can get in trouble. My friend's husband owes me one. Or five. Anyway.

I told my friend this story and he said I need a chaperone if I even think of going out with storyteller again.

 

But I probably won't see him again. I don't think he wants to extort money out of me or beat me up, I'm pretty sure he just wants to have sex with me....but he's just too strange. And I'm finally growing out of strange, I think.

 

You don't need to run him on the LEIN anyway, just get criminal background. In some states you can even do that yourself directly w the state police, but not CA. If there's a next time, just hire a PI to do it for you - should cost maybe $100 at most.

[AMJ]

So I can't help but wonder if he has some scheme to take advantage of me, wouldn't he have tried by now to get that plan in motion? All he's done since our date is text me how my day has been. I didn't ignore him first but didn't respond to his last message.

[jen1447]

IF he has a scheme. He may actually not depending on how cracked he is and if he believes he's really living the life he tried to sell you. If that's the case it's just business as usual.

 

If he does want to run a game he won't pull the trigger unless he sees you as an easy enough mark, and even then, smart cons don't rush. Sometimes these things are even laid out over a period of months or maybe even years, depending on how ambitious. (Like if he wanted to marry you he wouldn't pitch a small time crisis that he needs you to withdraw atm funds to cover, he'd play the big hook w the hopes of getting his name on your bank accounts and credit cards.)

[No_Go]

If he wants to con you he'll wait to get you hooked (usually achieved by love bombing in good timing - not necessarily immediately. Again if he wants to con you he'll test the ground first - beware for catastrophic stories especially ones involving other people stealing or attacking him. That's how it starts usually.

 

So I can't help but wonder if he has some scheme to take advantage of me, wouldn't he have tried by now to get that plan in motion? All he's done since our date is text me how my day has been. I didn't ignore him first but didn't respond to his last message.

[KatZee]

Liar liar pants on fire. I live in LA and ride a bike. It's impossible to go 130 mph on Mulholland. 80 mph maybe but anything over 60 mph and he'd be dead for sure...

 

I'm not yet to the end of this thread but I'm gonna comment on this one right here.

 

If one wants to go 100+ on a motorcycle, they will. Regardless of the speed limit.

 

I have a friend who has a motorcycle and got into an accident going over 100. Riding that fast is stupid for sure, but yes. He wiped out. Flew off the motorcycle.

 

He's alive. Not obliterated. Hospitalized yes, but for going that fast and flying off? He's left with a few scars on his shoulder. Broken bones have since healed.

 

I agree his stories are a little out there, but it also IS possible to survive a crash going triple digit speeds. I've seen it in person.

[Gr8fuln2020]

There was a post some time ago about women needing to take more control over their lives financially WHILE still married and not wait for some divorce settlement that often leave so many women w/ nothing...One reason why so many women (even w/ children) get little to nothing is that men find clever ways to avoid revealing their income....

 

1. Don't leave a paper trail by not having income deposited into an account, or

2. Just don't have an account

3 Jobs that are paid with cash/checks (no need for an account)

4. Get a good lawyer/accountant to help you hide your income

 

SO, it is not so crazy that he doesn't have one.

[KatZee]

I dated a guy years ago who was a pathalogical liar. I caught him in so many inflated stories. There is only one I really remember, and it was a story how he dated a famous porn star and she taught him all these wild things and they had such a wild relationship. He said that they had made porn movies and that he had them on DVDs hidden up in the ceiling of his room so his parents didn't find them.

 

Those DVDs turned out to be fake. As was their relationship. He never even met this person.

 

Turns out he had just chatted with an amateur porn woman on the game World of Warcraft. The farthest he ever came to a relationship was in-game conversations with her.

 

He admitted all of this was fake at the end of our relationship when he openly told me he made up so many things he told me because his life was boring and he wanted it to seem more interesting to me, and two, because he liked pushing my buttons and getting a reaction out of me.