thecrucible Posted November 1, 2016 Share Posted November 1, 2016 There's no clear cut answer. I know my parents didn't meet respective parents before they got engaged because of issues of distance and the fact they didn't date for years before they married. Personally the next time I'm serious with a guy I'm going to delay it as much as possible. That sounds really bad but I'm very conscious of the fact I have introduced people to the family before and I don't want it to be like a conveyor belt of men haha. I've already introduced three previous boyfriends. I'll wait longer next time. Some people are very close with their families. I'd say I'm fairly close with mine but I'm left to my own personal life and I don't think anyone would be particularly offended if they didn't meet a boyfriend for a long time. They would always know I had one. So maybe it's a bit odd if someone doesn't even tell their family that they have a significant other unless the family really don't get on at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted November 2, 2016 Share Posted November 2, 2016 Meeting someone's family is important, essential, actually REQUIRED. Doesn't matter if they live down the street or a continent away. Why? Cuz you gotta see where your SO came from, how much influence they have on your SO, how much they wanna be involved with you two... When family is good/healthy, it's a blessing. When they are dysfunctional, you're gonna be married to an extension of headache. If my SO didn't wanna meet my family, I'd seriously be concerned. Look, if they're not cool, you need to find out now and how your SO intends to deal with them (ie limiting visits to holidays). Last thing you need is for you to have a kid with him and after being treated like crap from his mom, he insists that his mom watch your kids. What if he's a momma's boy? You gotta meet the family. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fivegrands Posted November 2, 2016 Share Posted November 2, 2016 I understand your hesitation if you are not close to your family, but I also feel that there is an added dimension to everyone's lives that comes from extended family. It is best if you find a way to fit them into your life - even at a distance, and let anyone meet them (flaws and all) that intends to become an intimate part of your life. You will be dealing with difficult family relationships throughout your life, so it is important that anyone thinking of becoming a permanent part of your life realize what you will be dealing with. He might even have some insight that would help you in this area if he is allowed to meet and understand them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 4, 2016 Share Posted November 4, 2016 Given your context (geographical separation, lack of closeness, etc), I agree that you can't be as free with introducing a partner to family as others can. I mean, it's pretty ridiculous to spend thousands of dollars on a flight just to introduce a 3-month bf/gf to family IMO. But you should probably meet their family (and vice versa) at some point before you get married. Link to post Share on other sites
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