Age Gap, Affair, Religion, Parents

[ladydesigner]

Get away from this man and on with your life! No one is worth this mess take care of yourself first, always!

[pooldog]

Abby you are too young to realize your sacrifice

 

If you did make it your life would not be a fun affair you would have to deal with the big huge mess of his kids his ex wife your family making you miserable and the loss of motherhood

 

Take two weeks off and think about this

 

Can you go to a distant relatives or friends house to get away?

 

You need to get a career to support yourself then date to find a man who will marry you and cherish you and give you a family

 

This old $ucker is not good for you

 

He is too old and his kids and ex wife will make your life a living hell

 

It just can't work and that's ok

 

Walk away and every day will bring you clarity and answers!!

[anika99]

So I'm in my car because I don't have enough money for an apartment yet. I work but don't make that much. I drive all over for work so that takes a lot of gas money

 

He got a pay cut at work and the wife recent quit her job. I guess over last year she's had a lot of problems dealing with work due to this situation and was close to losing her job of 9 years so she quit before she got fired for attendance so she could still have the referral. She did this when they were together Stupid. Me and him are going thru the same situation and we managed to make it to work every day.

 

He is good to her, he hasn't taken any $ away from her, the whole paycheck minus like 160 a month goes to her to pay their bills. So that extra goes toward gas because it's hot here and need the Ac in in the car at night.

This is temporary. He is trying to make a decision again about what he's going to do. Go ahead with divorce or move forward with me. Once he makes the decision to get divorced then he'll have to split the money, she'll have to sell the house or forclose and find a job. I'm ok with child suppert but not alimony. So the car thing is just temporary

 

We are talking constantly about this. He's not using me. He loves me. I love him. He csres about me and part of reason he is in car with me is because I was feeling unsafe and propositioned by wierd guys at rest areas. He is keeping me safe too. He is out of it most the time and in a funk but that's just due to the stress is situation, once he decides then I'm sure he'll find peace.

 

My parents don't exactly completely shun me. They say I have to make my own mistakes but they don't have to stand my when I'm doing something like this, but they'll be there for me just he has to be out of my life and I'm not ok with that. I'm not abused but my dad did cheat on my mom when I was younger and I just wish they'd get divorced. My man does have childhood abuse and abandonment in his background but he recently started going to counseling for it and seems to be ok.

 

I have had other relationships, some good some not. I did have a sexual relationship with a college professor is married but I know that wasn't a healthy one.

 

He does not tell his wife he loves her, she knows how he feels. He loves her but is in love with me. She sees him as someone damaged by abuse and refuses to leave him, thinks this is all a midlife crisis and the abuse is catching up with him, thinks he's in a fantasy world and will completely regret leaving some day so she is fighting for him, claiming that she doesn't want him to lose his family for something that won't last. She obviously is delusional.

 

The bolded part of this post is delusional. You are not going through the same thing as his wife. Not even close. You weren't betrayed after years of investing into a marriage. You're not watching your children's home coming apart and watching them suffer because of it. You don't know the pain of that, you can't even fathom it which is why you have no empathy for what his family is going through. You are too young and full of ego. Your MM is also most certainly not going through the same as his wife. She didn't cheat on him, she didn't destroy a marriage he believed in and blow up his world. He's got two women fighting over him, how is he suffering the same.

 

You're not okay with alimony? Lol...well I'm sure the judge overseeing their divorce will take your opinion into consideration. Your parents say they will be there for you when you start making responsible decisions. That sounds like tough love. Good for them.

 

If this man really really loved you he would not be able to bear to see you f@ck up your life and lose your family all for the sake of your affair with him. He would either lovingly let you go or divorce his wife immediately and have a proper honest relationship with you. Instead he lets you live in a car while he takes his sweet time trying to decide if he wants to pick you or not. When you mature you will realize just how selfish and unloving his behaviour is. He pays for gas so you have ac. Oh be still my beating heart! How romantic that is. A middle aged married man who can't afford more than a bit of gas. No wonder your parents are tearing their hair out.

 

Save yourself. Lose the loser, go home and get an education or some training for a truly good job. If the job you have now doesn't pay enough for you to rent a small place then it's not a good job. Plan better, aim higher and your life can end up being amazing. What you are settling for right now should be beneath you. Believe that you deserve better. As long as you are willing to settle for low caliber men then that is what you will get.

[BettyDraper]

Thanks for the advice

 

You all make it sound like I'm nothing to him.

 

He doesn't just want me for sex. I do have my own wants and desires and I'm a very sttrong woman. We connect on every level, not just sex. And it's hard to have sex all the time in a car anyway. It's not about sex. I don't work with Him anymore, I went to school and got a good job. I let my apartment go when my lease was up because if was a studio and we were going to move in together to a better place with room for his kids. We looked at apartments. He lived with me at a friends for two months but the guilt was too much for him, so he went back to his wife. Then he couldn't stand being away from me so he told his wife he wanted a divorce. She agreed, he left her and came back to me....by again the guilt came and he went back to her a few hours later. Told me he wanted to cut off all contact. We tried, it's just too hard and we fell back into it. His wife has been a constant annoyance this whole time, she doesn't leave him alone and she's a complete psycho. She holds the kids over him telling him that she isn't going to force them to visit us if they don't want to because of me. That she woulsnt keep them from him but if they didn't want to be around ME they don't have to. If we are living together she doesn't have a choice right? (The kids found out when one of their friends saw us together). I don't know why she holds on when he obviously loves me.

 

We talk about EVERYTHING. We are so open with each other that there is no confusion about what we want. We want to be together. He's just cry entangled in his life and guilt and missing his kids and the details. But the love we know is there

 

He wants me. I want him. But he feels guilty for leaving his wife who he's been with since high school and his children. But he wants my love. I want his.

 

I'm in my car now because my parents don't approve of the situation so I can't go to them, I've exhausted all my friend options, and have nowhere else to go.

 

I am hoping that he will leave his wife and we can get an apartment together. He's been out for two weeks with limited wife contact and only texting the kids. We are really focusing on things, getting to the bottom of this. Pro and con lists.

He doesn't want to lose me and he doesn't want to lose his life. He suggested a polygamy situation but neither his wife or me want that.

 

I would appreciate replies that don't focus on him only wanting me for sex because I know 100% that is not the case.

 

 

How dare you call his wife an annoyance when YOU are the one who is on her turf?! Get this straight-she is the wife and she has the right to expect fidelity from her husband. Infidelity is a serious and traumatic psychological wound and some people react to trauma with suicidality.

 

How interesting that you have the temerity to call that poor woman a "psycho" when you are unstable enough to throw away your family and live like a homeless woman for a man who just wants some young stuff on the side. Where exactly are his children going to visit you? Your backseat? You are not winning any sanity contests with your behavior and thought processes, so stop calling this fool's wife a "psycho" and look in the mirror.

 

You ARE nothing to him or else he wouldn't be able to bear the thought of you being homeless and he would have left his wife already if he really wanted you. Keep on believing the BS he's shoveling if it helps you sleep at night but nobody here is going to indulge your poor choices by comforting you with lies.

[ShatteredLady]

Was your fathers mistress much younger than your Mum?

 

Why do you say that you wish they would divorce? I have no doubt that your mother was absolutely devastated. Did it impact her ability to parent you?

 

Were you one of those children who understood or do you in some way blame your mother?

 

Do you think she was weak for not divorcing him?

 

Do you have some residual jealousy of your fathers OW (she was 'powerful' enough to do that to your family!)

 

I wouldn't have much 'faith' in my families religion either if my father was such a hypocrite.

 

These are the kinds of questions you should start asking yourself until you can afford some good therapy.

 

You met the MM when you were 20 AND you had ALREADY had an affair with a much older MM!!! At least your parents aren't wondering what they did wrong, hopefully!! It's so clear that you've been severely damaged by your fathers adultery.

 

I doubt that you're old enough to have any empathy for his children. People who think that infidelity doesn't hurt children should read your story! You're complicit in hugely impacting the REST OF THEIR LIVES already!!

 

PLEASE remember that you are very young because the time is going to come when you're analyzing & judging yourself harshly for your actions OR you will continue following this pattern because your father taught you the value of marriage & family to SOME men very young.

 

Not all men cheat, lie, betray & hurt.

 

The sooner you STOP & sort your life out the happier you will be. The more wrongs you do now the more you will have to work through later. The longer it takes you to escape this situation the harder it will be...

 

At your age you are emotionally growing & forming romantic 'prints' in your mind. I promise you that life & love are NOT THIS HARD!!

Edited July 27, 2016 by ShatteredLady

[Friskyone4u]

You are a y lung woman but one of the first questions you asked was

 

How does this end????

 

if you play the odds, not very well for you.

 

You can try to predict the future but past history is the best predictor of the future and you can look at any statistics you want to and your prognosis is not good for a happy ending.

 

You do not want to hear that because you think your MM is a unique snowflake.

 

Like your parents said I think you will have to learn from your own mistakes and you are in the middle of a big one

[Tayla]

Trying to get up to speed here:

 

A "strong" woman- sleeps in her car, has an affair with a married man, and her family chooses to not endorse her shanigans. alrighty then.

 

I must only hang with the weak ladies who do none of those things.

 

Op- Where is your healthy guilt in any of this concerning interceding on marital vows? I give this gent a bit more respect since he does convey guilt and understands marriage.

 

Go find a shelter . Not a married mans shelter. How sad for the families...

[Adoraxx]

Dear Abby,

 

You have to put yourself FIRST now!! This MM of yours is not even TRYING to arrange a place to live for you!!! No, what does he do?? He'll spend some time with you IN YOUR CAR because you're scared (and I'm sure I would be scared too being in a car all day and night long).

 

He is going to keep going back and forth. You were able to rent an apartment before, surely you can still manage to pay the rent for one now? Even it's only a room with a bathroom?

 

I think you should do the following:

 

1. Find a place to live for YOURSELF

 

2. Tell MM to come back when he is DIVORCED and when he can show you the papers (honestly, I don't think that's going to happen because he'll continue to keep going back and forth between "ohhh I feel so guilty, I have to go back" and "ohhh I miss you soooo much")

 

You should try to focus on these two goals - don't let your thoughts distract you, just focus on these 2 goals/ steps - and meanwhile LIVE your life instead of waiting for a man to choose you..... I'm really sad for you, you know? This man is just going to keep dragging this out and he's making you think things like "ok, maybe next week we'll be able to rent a bigger apartment!" and then weeks and weeks go by until they become months... and then what.. years?

 

Please think of yourself first. Make sure that at least your basic needs are being met... Everyone needs a home and a place to shower, a place to feel SAFE... And if your MM would truly be a 'good man', he would have arranged that for you already instead of sitting there crying with you in your car .

 

Where did you use to rent a place before? I mean, how were you able to get it? Can you go there and ask them if they have something else for you?

 

p.s. he doesn't even have the money to take care of his family AND you

[RecentChange]

Just remember in life, things don't always "work out" it is not a given that things will be better tomorrow. Nor every story has a happy ending.

 

While we not be able to control our future. We do have the ability to make choices that will greatly impact the direction our future will take.

 

You are choosing to be willfully ignorant. You are choosing not to listen to your loved ones, and those with more experience. But rather appear to be dead set on making choices that will result in a very difficult future.

 

Look where your choices have landed you right now.

 

A homeless mistress. Is this where you wanted to be? Are you happy with where your choices have led you?

[ShatteredLady]

Ok. I'm confused on a few points, as are other members, you're not clearly explaining something here...

 

1. You met MM at good job.

2. You no longer work there. Why? What made you leave that job?

 

3. You had your own apartment.

 

4. You left when he promised you a larger apartment for BOTH of you. He let you leave home, didn't tell you to renew your lease in time. Future faked up until the last minute. Can you explain what happened & what was said? Did he tell you that you had a place to move into? Did you put a deposit down? Were you packed-up with your things in your car with nowhere to go?

 

5. What happened to your security deposit etc. from your last place? Where is that money now? What did you use that money for?

 

I don't understand why you didn't use the deposit & advance weeks $$ to put-down on another place rather than bunking with friends & living in your car!!

 

6. Is your current job lower paying than the last or do you do less hours? Do you like this job? What plans are you making to improve your future for YOU?

 

 

PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE DON'T GET PREGNANT!!

 

PLEASE!!

 

You can walk away & heal. One day this could be "that crazy time in your life when you made an enormous mess out of everything!", this can be your dim distant past.

 

You can still have a life to dream of. It's ALL possible!! I'm NOT talking about men, big white dresses & cute little babies. I mean the REAL DREAMS that a young woman should have about career, accomplishments, education, experiences, LIFE!!

 

This is an amazing, beautiful place, this planet earth. How much of it & its wonders do most ever get to see? How much of its culture & wisdom do we ever know?

 

How few 21 year olds know what it's like to be such a disappointment to their loved ones, shacked-up in the back of a car with a married man with children?

 

Be strong. Really look at what life could have in store for you. If you could have anything & do anything what would it be? What's your "Picture Perfect" life at 21?

[waterwoman]

I suggest you need some therapy to work out why when your father had an affair your only response is to blame your mother for not divorcing him. Why, at only 21 years of age, you are in your second relationship with a married man. Why you appear to have zero empathy for his wife and kids. Why you have allowed yourself to get into such a dire position - homeless and estranged from family - for a man who is clearly NOT as invested as you are. Seriously - there is no good outcome to this situation but you could learn from it, with help.

Edited July 27, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[AbbyVP]

Ok. I'm confused on a few points, as are other members, you're not clearly explaining something here...

 

1. You met MM at good job.

2. You no longer work there. Why? What made you leave that job?

 

3. You had your own apartment.

 

4. You left when he promised you a larger apartment for BOTH of you. He let you leave home, didn't tell you to renew your lease in time. Future faked up until the last minute. Can you explain what happened & what was said? Did he tell you that you had a place to move into? Did you put a deposit down? Were you packed-up with your things in your car with nowhere to go?

 

5. What happened to your security deposit etc. from your last place? Where is that money now? What did you use that money for?

 

I don't understand why you didn't use the deposit & advance weeks $$ to put-down on another place rather than bunking with friends & living in your car!!

 

6. Is your current job lower paying than the last or do you do less hours? Do you like this job? What plans are you making to improve your future for YOU?

 

 

PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE DON'T GET PREGNANT!!

 

PLEASE!!

 

You can walk away & heal. One day this could be "that crazy time in your life when you made an enormous mess out of everything!", this can be your dim distant past.

 

You can still have a life to dream of. It's ALL possible!! I'm NOT talking about men, big white dresses & cute little babies. I mean the REAL DREAMS that a young woman should have about career, accomplishments, education, experiences, LIFE!!

 

This is an amazing, beautiful place, this planet earth. How much of it & its wonders do most ever get to see? How much of its culture & wisdom do we ever know?

 

How few 21 year olds know what it's like to be such a disappointment to their loved ones, shacked-up in the back of a car with a married man with children?

 

Be strong. Really look at what life could have in store for you. If you could have anything & do anything what would it be? What's your "Picture Perfect" life at 21?

 

 

1 &2. MM is the CEO of a company that has an office above where my mom works. My mom and the owner of MMs company are friends. She got me a job there filing and whatever. I went to classes and became a home health aide. MM was very supportive of my goals. I don't work with MM anymore, not for a year. I travel to and from clients houses all day. I'm trying to go to school still but it's been difficult with this situation to concentrate

 

3. When my family found out, all hell broke loose. They kicked me or of the house. I stayed with friends for awhile until I found my own small apartment.

 

4. He didn't "promise" me a larger apartment. It was a decision we made together. That he was going to leave and we would find an apartment together that had room for his kids. My lease was up and even though it wasn't the right time I didn't want to get into another whole year lease. I stayed with a friend. He left his wife and came to live with me there and we started looking for apartments. We found a perfect one but he stalled about saying yes to it. He was with me for two months my friends house. He was happy with me but struggled being away from the kids and with guilt. He kept packing up his stuff then unpacking it. One day he said he was going kayaking with his son and just didn't come back, he let me know he couldn't do it and went back to wife. He was there a few weeks then they had the divorce conversation...agreed to it and he left again to come to me. But he left a few hours later again. My friend had to move so I couldn't stay with her anymore. I had nowhere else to go. So that's why I'm in my car.

 

5. I went on a trip to Puerto Rico to visit my aunt for my 21st birthday. I didn't get apartment right away because mm wasn't ready and my lease was up. We were looking just didn't find anything in time

 

6. It's higher paying but I bought a new car so I have a car payment now that I didn't have before when I had my apartment. And car insurance is more expensive because it's a newer car. Also gas money because I drive a lot for work, food. Etc. I only have like 600 a month to pay for rent and that's impossible around here.

 

I have an IUD so I'm not getting pregnant

 

I'm not some callous person who doesn't care about his kids. This whole situation is emotionally hard on me too. My loves me but she is very opinionated and hard to please. I don't even want to go back there. I could go to Puerto Rico with my aunt and finish school out there but I don't want to leave MM because I feel like we have a future together and we just have to be patient.

 

I've told him many times if he just can't do it then he doesn't have to, that I will just be something that happened. But he loves me so deeply. He is a mess over this.

[RecentChange]

Obviously you do not intend on actually improving your situation and are intent on keeping this path to disaster.

 

Purchasing a new car is yet another sign of your poor decision making.

 

Well, at this point you have made your bed and now you lie in it.

 

I am in no way a religious person. But now do you understand why adultery is a sin?

[Scarlett94]

" His wife has been a constant annoyance this whole time, she doesn't leave him alone and she's a complete psycho. She holds the kids over him telling him that she isn't going to force them to visit us if they don't want to...".

 

This is a woman (a fellow HUMAN BEING) who has spent her entire adult life loving this man & building a family with him!! Have some compassion!!!

 

She is right! She CAN NOT force teenage children to approve or stay with him. He comes with baggage. That's what happens when you commit adultery with a grown man & FATHER.

 

IF (& it's a huge if) you possibly stay together you will be dealing with this "annoyance" for the rest of your life. At 21 you can dump your faith, family, friends, everything! It's a bit more complicated when you're (apparently) a grown-up with family & responsibilities.

 

Is this a joke? Are they supposed to visit him in your CAR??

[pooldog]

Can you use your money to rent a room or be a room mate? I am so worried about you being in your car because something bad could happen!!

[anika99]

5. I went on a trip to Puerto Rico to visit my aunt for my 21st birthday. I didn't get apartment right away because mm wasn't ready and my lease was up. We were looking just didn't find anything in time

 

6. It's higher paying but I bought a new car so I have a car payment now that I didn't have before when I had my apartment. And car insurance is more expensive because it's a newer car. Also gas money because I drive a lot for work, food. Etc. I only have like 600 a month to pay for rent and that's impossible around here.

 

The above really indicates how young and immature you still are. People who don't have anywhere to live don't take vacations and buy new cars, they get themselves a home and then save up for the other stuff. Your MM must also be extremely immature for his age as I can't imagine a father seriously considering you as a possible stepmother to his children. You can't manage your own life, how are you going to manage the problems and stress that comes with being with a man who has as much baggage as your MM. You get a pass for your immaturity as you are very very young. New studies say that people's brains don't fully mature and reach adult reasoning ability until about the age of 25, so it's no surprise that you are still very childish but your MM has no such excuse. Of course is kids don't wont want to visit him. As teenagers they are smart enough to see the absolute absurdity of this situation. Their middle aged father has left home to be with a girl young enough to be his daughter and he's living with her, IN HER CAR.. Omg, if it wasn't so sad it would be funny.

[redbaron007]

He left his wife again and we are in my car together.

1 &2. MM is the CEO of a company that has an office above where my mom works.

 

Umm...so let me get this straight...the dude's 40, is a "CEO" and is living out of your car??? If he's a CEO, he should wave his AMEX card, put you up in a nice upscale apartment and treat you to nice dinners every night..

 

 

How does this end?

Easy...you'll get constant backache from living in the car, will get tired of this CEO-squatter and dump him, he will go whining back to his family, his wife will take his sorry a** back, and you will go out and enjoy life as a normal 21-year old

 

Try dating some guys your age for change, if age and experience is what attracts you, a good-looking, fit 29-30 yo with a good job and a nice pad will be a much better alternative than this 40 yo CEO-squatter you're hung up on !

 

BTW I'm 40+, single, and have absolutely no problems dating 20 y.o.'s but I'll save that for another post...

[redbaron007]

...

Second, it is COMPLETELY inappropriate for a 40 year old man to be involved with a 20 year old girl. PERIOD. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about this.

 

OP is a 21 yo woman and legal age of consent is 18 in most US states (16 in a few). So from a legal perspective, it would just be two consenting adults entering into a relationship, nothing illegal there...what's "appropriate" and what's not is subject to individual opinion, so there are plenty of ifs, ands, buts...depending on who you ask.

Edited July 28, 2016 by redbaron007

[sandylee1]

This is such a sad sad situation.

 

I have a couple of nieces around your age and I cannot imagine them making such poor life choices. It's shocking. I really hope one day you look back on this time and think of how naive you were.

 

No self respecting man does what he's doing. If nothing but for your safety he'd break it off with you and tell you to go home and sleep safely.

 

I am in full agreement with your parents on this. They've brought you up the best they can and yet you seem to have no morals in regards to having relationships with married men. Why is this? Is there no part of you that realises you are doing wrong in all this?

 

I love my daughters, but I would in no way support or condone an affair with a MM.

 

You are willing to give up everything for him? Why? Because you love him? This isn't love ... it's crazy infatuation.

 

If you think his wife is an annoyance .... imagine what she thinks of you? I really can't believe you expect her to force his kids to see him if they don't want to. Are you for real. You think you'll get an apartment and play happy families with his kids? Then you think you get a say about alimony.

 

Time to get down to planet earth young lady.

 

Your original question ... it doesn't end well for YOU.

[AbbyVP]

Obviously you do not intend on actually improving your situation and are intent on keeping this path to disaster.

 

Purchasing a new car is yet another sign of your poor decision making.

 

Well, at this point you have made your bed and now you lie in it.

 

I am in no way a religious person. But now do you understand why adultery is a sin?

 

My old car had problems, my "new' car isn't new it's used. I needed something better to get to my job, how is that a bad decision?

 

I know adultery is a sin but i also know Jehovah forgives.

[AbbyVP]

"Is this a joke? Are they supposed to visit him in your CAR??"

 

no obviously not in the car. We would get an apartment together. If we are living together and he gets custody or visitation then they'll have to visit, won't they?

 

This is the hardest thing is the guilt he has over his kids. They aren't taking it very well, their mother insnt helping by being upset all the time and his daughter and him had problems before me. I want him to have a good relationship with his kids. He's not seen them much these last few weeks because we havent had gas money to drive the 30 minutes to where they live. Their mom brought the son up the other day because he was having a hard time and they went to lunch but it's hard on him too because everytime he talks to his kids, all his son does is ask when he's coming home and how he's not the dad he knew and it's all MY fault. And his daughter doesn't even return his messages and if she does, she's nasty.

 

It's bothering him, yes. This is why the decision is so hard. He can't be happy because he misses his kids. His wife sends him websites about how divorce affects kids and about how to rebuild marriages and how relationships like ours with age difference and how we started outside the marriage never work. It has him all confused.

 

In one sense he feels like he's totally in love with me and not in love with her anymore, but he can't imagine her not in his life and she's threatened to just stop talking to him completely if he's going to be with me. I don't really care,I'd be glad if she'd just go away, but He's know her since they were kids and he doesn't want that. In another sense she sends him these articles and it makes him think maybe he hasn't done enough to try to save his marriage....but it doesn't change the fact that I'm what he wants.

 

So we are just talking things through. He's a mess all the time, I'm a mess. His wife is a disaster and she's not helping the kids.

 

I just want to be with him. That's all. why does it have to be so hard?

Edited July 29, 2016 by AbbyVP
add quote

[AbbyVP]

Umm...so let me get this straight...the dude's 40, is a "CEO" and is living out of your car??? If he's a CEO, he should wave his AMEX card, put you up in a nice upscale apartment and treat you to nice dinners every night..

 

 

 

Easy...you'll get constant backache from living in the car, will get tired of this CEO-squatter and dump him, he will go whining back to his family, his wife will take his sorry a** back, and you will go out and enjoy life as a normal 21-year old

 

Try dating some guys your age for change, if age and experience is what attracts you, a good-looking, fit 29-30 yo with a good job and a nice pad will be a much better alternative than this 40 yo CEO-squatter you're hung up on !

 

BTW I'm 40+, single, and have absolutely no problems dating 20 y.o.'s but I'll save that for another post...

 

His company isn't doing well, he got a pay cut. His wife doesn't work. ALL his money goes to her except like $120 a month. So there's nothing. She doesn't even give him any of the money HE earns because she had to go and quit her job and hasn't got off her fat ass to get another one yet.

 

So he pays for gas, food, a gym membership we can shower and that's about it. I pay for my stuff and also gas and food for us both.

 

He won't take any money away from her because he doesn't want his kids to have to move out of their house. But she's going to have to deal with that when they get divorced anyway because he can't live on $120 a month

[AngeliqueC]

Why does it have to be so hard?

 

It doesn't. You are allowing HIM to steer this boat and he doesn't want to steer it in the direction YOU want, even though he says he does.

 

How does this end?

 

In tears. It all ends in tears - as you get out of the boat and into a life raft and row yourself far, far away from the sinking Titanic.

 

Rose lives.

 

Get out of living in your car and LIVE a real LIFE of your own, not this "if" life of "hard decisions" that he can't or won't make.

[waterwoman]

"hey aren't taking it very well, their mother insnt helping by being upset all the time "

 

and

 

"His wife is a disaster and she's not helping the kids"

 

Can you say the word 'empathy'?

 

[Scarlett94]

"hey aren't taking it very well, their mother insnt helping by being upset all the time "

 

and

 

"His wife is a disaster and she's not helping the kids"

 

Can you say the word 'empathy'?

 

 

No kidding! I wonder why his wife is a disaster! Can't you see her whole world has imploded?