I have a crush on this guy, and I hate it.

[jen1447]

I know, i know, i know. Trust me it's killing me too! You're completely right, there's basically no other way to go about this, I just need to do it. I'm not normally this pathetic, this is embarrassing.

 

Ok so stop being pathetic and embarrassed and put on your big girl panties (those really sexy ones ) and go get it. J's got your back.

[Shining One]

Let him know you would like his help burning some calories outside of the gym.

[AMJ]

So this story might finally be going somewhere! Tonight I had him mostly to myself in class because only one other person showed up. Again he wanted to know everything I did last weekend. I mentioned that I only had a few weeks left of his class, and he asked me if I was going to renew it, I said I wasn't sure. He looks down. Then tried to make a joke of it, "Oh well you only have to put up with me for a few more weeks, huh?" Anyway then the conversation shifts to one on one workout sessions with him. He didn't ask me like he was trying to sell me training sessions, although I'm not sure if he's allowed to work with clients in the gym and not charge them. He said not to worry about payment though.

 

I'm trying not to do what I usually do, which is overanalyze when I really like someone. I mean, mayyyybe he just wants to train me one on one, but also maybe he's thinking what I'm thinking....? Perhaps? lol.

 

It was not the smoothest of moves on my part to play damsel in distress, oh I'm struggling to meet my workout goals, BUT it worked. Thus proving that men love to problem-solve. That's the first time I've ever mentioned struggling and he jumped all over it, trying to find solutions, and then convincing me that spending time with him alone was the solution (not like that was a hard sell for me).

[Dis]

So this story might finally be going somewhere! Tonight I had him mostly to myself in class because only one other person showed up. Again he wanted to know everything I did last weekend. I mentioned that I only had a few weeks left of his class, and he asked me if I was going to renew it, I said I wasn't sure. He looks down. Then tried to make a joke of it, "Oh well you only have to put up with me for a few more weeks, huh?" Anyway then the conversation shifts to one on one workout sessions with him. He didn't ask me like he was trying to sell me training sessions, although I'm not sure if he's allowed to work with clients in the gym and not charge them. He said not to worry about payment though.

 

I'm trying not to do what I usually do, which is overanalyze when I really like someone. I mean, mayyyybe he just wants to train me one on one, but also maybe he's thinking what I'm thinking....? Perhaps? lol.

 

It was not the smoothest of moves on my part to play damsel in distress, oh I'm struggling to meet my workout goals, BUT it worked. Thus proving that men love to problem-solve. That's the first time I've ever mentioned struggling and he jumped all over it, trying to find solutions, and then convincing me that spending time with him alone was the solution (not like that was a hard sell for me).

 

Hun just go for it girly! Its so obvious he really likes you! You're over thinking this....from everything you told us...he's really feeling you!

 

He's probably alittle hesitant too...maybe he thinks your just flirting with him because hes your trainer...nothing more. He probably thinks your out of his league...so give him the green light!

 

Next time you see him just ask him what his plans are (ask him about the days when you know he'll be off work) He likes you so he'll probably say he has nothing planned. Thats when you say, Want to meet up at X? I guarantee he'll say yes!!!

 

I also think you made a nice move with the whole work out goal thing. It made him feel useful and like he could help...men love to feel that way. Plus it allowed him to spend more time with you which I'm sure he adored

 

This has been building for awhile now...make a move girly!

[Toodaloo]

Amjam, with love ....

 

FFS will you just grab this guy and get it done?? Just push the interloper away if she's blocking and grab what you want. The guy's practically begging to be let in and this song and dance is driving me cray. I swear if I was there I'd grab you both and push you into a room together and lock the door til you came out w a date.

 

Ok, love switch back on.

 

I am with this.

 

I think you need to drop some very unsubtle hints that you want him to ask you out on a date.

 

"Hey sweet cheeks are you ever going to pluck up the courage to ask me out or am I just going to have to carry on sneaking peeks at your thighs when you are not looking..."

 

I would say that should do it...

 

Good luck. Go get him! Have fun and don't forget to use protection

[Mystique01]

So this story might finally be going somewhere! Tonight I had him mostly to myself in class because only one other person showed up. Again he wanted to know everything I did last weekend. I mentioned that I only had a few weeks left of his class, and he asked me if I was going to renew it, I said I wasn't sure. He looks down. Then tried to make a joke of it, "Oh well you only have to put up with me for a few more weeks, huh?" Anyway then the conversation shifts to one on one workout sessions with him. He didn't ask me like he was trying to sell me training sessions, although I'm not sure if he's allowed to work with clients in the gym and not charge them. He said not to worry about payment though.

 

I'm trying not to do what I usually do, which is overanalyze when I really like someone. I mean, mayyyybe he just wants to train me one on one, but also maybe he's thinking what I'm thinking....? Perhaps? lol.

 

It was not the smoothest of moves on my part to play damsel in distress, oh I'm struggling to meet my workout goals, BUT it worked. Thus proving that men love to problem-solve. That's the first time I've ever mentioned struggling and he jumped all over it, trying to find solutions, and then convincing me that spending time with him alone was the solution (not like that was a hard sell for me).

 

 

Well good for you!

 

I hope my hesitant feelings about this whole scenario were all wrong.

 

Keep us posted!

[jen1447]

So this story might finally be going somewhere!

 

Good. The next post I want to read about it is the two of you lying there in the afterglow of a 6 hour sex marathon where you worked out all the angst.

[Toodaloo]

Good. The next post I want to read about it is the two of you lying there in the afterglow of a 6 hour sex marathon where you worked out all the angst.

 

Just 6 hours?

 

After the way they have been going on give them at least 8!!!

 

Soooo AMJ how'd it go?????

[AMJ]

I'm not normally one to kiss and tell but for you Jen I can make an exception

 

I see him again on Thursday. I don't think we'll make it to the sex marathon stage just yet, so no more updates until that happens? I know this is moving too slow for the loveshackers, but I'm trying to be a little respectful that he's at work. For most of us the gym is a playground and open season but he takes his job seriously and I'm trying to be mindful of that. I'd not worry so much if all of this was happening at his second job, but it's not like I can hang out at a brewery 4x/week...lol. I'm pretty sure that would just make me look like a boozy lush.

 

I've only known him for three months, I think flirting started about two months ago. And I didn't realize I was interested until I started this thread. That's not so slow...

[AMJ]

I don't know what to make of what happened this morning with him in our session. He was all business and was mainly focused on training me, and crammed way more into the session than necessary..lol. He wants to keep working with me (not charging me, kinda sneaking around the gym rules) though. It's just the way he looks at me. I know that look all too well. I've never been wrong about that (thinking a guy was interested) before. I can't explain what's holding me back though.

 

Sorry for the disappointing update. I need to stop thinking about this one. I get into trouble when I overthink.

[Mystique01]

So have you guys gone on a date yet?? :love:

[jen1447]

Maybe you need some competition Am. Where do you live? I'll come to your gym and threaten to steal him from you.

[Shining One]

He wants to keep working with me (not charging me, kinda sneaking around the gym rules) though.

I'm going to repeat my suggestion from earlier since it now has an additional, practical application: You can save him from sneaking around the gym rules.

Let him know you would like his help burning some calories outside of the gym.

[AMJ]

He'd probably be like..."Um AMJ you know I don't like to run..."

 

So I like where you're head's at, I do...but saying something like that to this sweet guy who's never been the least bit sleazy to me, is way out of character for me. I think he'd be kinda flustered if I said that to him at work. He'd probably think I was joking.

 

But I get your point, this shouldn't be so difficult at all. I've realized he's probably never going to ask me out the way things are going since he has more at stake for crossing that line than I do (for me it's embarrassment if I'm wrong, for him it's jeopardizing his job plus embarrassment) so if it's going to happen it needs to be me to ask.

 

I had a plan, I swear, of what to say so that it wouldn't be awkward...but idk timing just didn't feel right. I knew he'd take the workout part seriously but I thought he'd be a little bit more playful. This is one of those times where you feel like you're about to jump off a huge rock into a lake, and it's scary but you know it will be awesome, and you just gotta suck it up and do it anyways. I just did that at a lake a few weeks ago, lol. Why was jumping 18 feet easier than this. I barely hesitated.

 

The good news is that I don't really run out of opportunities to see him. The bad news is, that's causing me to waste time.

[katiegrl]

 

The good news is that I don't really run out of opportunities to see him. The bad news is, that's causing me to waste time.

 

Look at it this way.... you're building tension!

 

Which, when you do finally get together, can only be a good thing!

[salparadise]

This is one of those times where you feel like you're about to jump off a huge rock into a lake, and it's scary but you know it will be awesome, and you just gotta suck it up and do it anyways. I just did that at a lake a few weeks ago, lol.

 

Yup, that's what you've gotta do. What would be so hard about suggesting that you go for coffee or an impromptu bite to eat?

 

He sounsd like a guy with an overdeveloped superego, and knows it's taboo to approach clients that way. It doesn't sound like there's any risk of rejection, it's all just imaginary. Just do it. Jump.

[Shining One]

Look at it this way.... you're building tension!

 

Which, when you do finally get together, can only be a good thing!

While tension can be a good thing, don't wait too long. You never know when a jen1447 is going to show up who has no fear of diving in. I know I've waited too long to make a move too many times in my life.

[AMJ]

He doesn't have an overdeveloped superego

[AMJ]

While tension can be a good thing, don't wait too long. You never know when a jen1447 is going to show up who has no fear of diving in. I know I've waited too long to make a move too many times in my life.

 

TRUE. And I'm not one for catfights. I hate being jealous. Jealousy just feels ugly. The few times I've been in those situations I kinda just toss my hands up and walk away- I'm me, she's her...he can choose.

[jen1447]

FTR I'd totally give him right to you even if I did that.

 

But yeah sitting on the pot too long's never good. After a while inaction becomes its own thing and kinda status quo.

[Mystique01]

He'd probably be like..."Um AMJ you know I don't like to run..."

 

So I like where you're head's at, I do...but saying something like that to this sweet guy who's never been the least bit sleazy to me, is way out of character for me. I think he'd be kinda flustered if I said that to him at work. He'd probably think I was joking.

 

But I get your point, this shouldn't be so difficult at all. I've realized he's probably never going to ask me out the way things are going since he has more at stake for crossing that line than I do (for me it's embarrassment if I'm wrong, for him it's jeopardizing his job plus embarrassment) so if it's going to happen it needs to be me to ask.

 

I had a plan, I swear, of what to say so that it wouldn't be awkward...but idk timing just didn't feel right. I knew he'd take the workout part seriously but I thought he'd be a little bit more playful. This is one of those times where you feel like you're about to jump off a huge rock into a lake, and it's scary but you know it will be awesome, and you just gotta suck it up and do it anyways. I just did that at a lake a few weeks ago, lol. Why was jumping 18 feet easier than this. I barely hesitated.

 

The good news is that I don't really run out of opportunities to see him. The bad news is, that's causing me to waste time.

 

 

Why don't you just ask him casually if he has a gf??

 

It can only go either way, and you're not embarrassing yourself or him if you were to ask.

 

If you ask if he's single/or has a gf, then that will automatically have him wondering if you're into him...without you actually saying you're into him.

 

Plus, if he says:

 

NO: "Oh.....wow, I'm kind of shocked a nice guy like yourself isn't taken already..... Maybe we should go out and do something sometime". OR.... "Some friends and I are going to go see [insert name of movie here] this weekend...wanna come?"

 

YES: "Oh wow...how long have you two been dating? She's a lucky girl".

 

Boom...easy!

 

That way, you get out of this place of limbo-land.

 

At least you're easing into making a move w/out putting yourself so out there that you make him feel uncomfortable, or you're overstepping your boundaries (ie. if he has a gf).

 

Not sure if you've asked him this already, but if I were you, I would ask. Even if you KNOW he's single, I would just ask anyway.... It let's him know where your head is at.

 

 

 

FTR I'd totally give him right to you even if I did that.

 

But yeah sitting on the pot too long's never good. After a while inaction becomes its own thing and kinda status quo.

 

I agree... And honestly, I've learned from experiences in the past that if you can't let something go, it's best to just take the bull by the horns and jump in and take a chance.

 

All of this analyzing and wondering gets kind of old after a while. Most of the time I just know for me personally, I've found that whenever I had to do mental gymnastics and think so hard about whether a guy was into me or not, it turns out he usually wasn't.....OR, he was attracted to me, but taken already.

 

But that might not be the OP's case...So I say just jump on in if he doesn't make a move in another week or two. What's the worst that can happen? He's not interested? Big deal! You two can still have good conversation and he can give you workout tips. But if he IS interested and single, then voila! You have a date....

Edited August 11, 2016 by Mystique01

[AMJ]

Thanks Mystique

 

He's single, very sure of that. I think asking if he has a GF is so obvious though, if I'm going to be obvious I'd rather just ask him out. That's just me. I'll do it, and probably soon. I agree waiting much longer is a bad idea.

 

I forgot to mention that I'm terrible at showing interest. I get that feedback all the time from guys I date. I've not really done much at all to show him I'm interested when I think about it from his perspective. I need to work on that.

[Toodaloo]

Thanks Mystique

 

He's single, very sure of that. I think asking if he has a GF is so obvious though, if I'm going to be obvious I'd rather just ask him out. That's just me. I'll do it, and probably soon. I agree waiting much longer is a bad idea.

 

I forgot to mention that I'm terrible at showing interest. I get that feedback all the time from guys I date. I've not really done much at all to show him I'm interested when I think about it from his perspective. I need to work on that.

 

AMJ for goodness sake girl... Just flirt with the guy! Pay him a compliment or something!

 

"You can take the treadmill in front if you like, it will give me a nice view and give me something to run towards"

 

Corney cheesy but done with a cheeky grin and a smile can make someones day!

 

FLIRT! ASK HIM OUT! DROP HINTS THAT ARE AS SUBTLE AS THE ATOM BOMB!

[Mystique01]

Thanks Mystique

 

He's single, very sure of that. I think asking if he has a GF is so obvious though, if I'm going to be obvious I'd rather just ask him out. That's just me. I'll do it, and probably soon. I agree waiting much longer is a bad idea.

 

I forgot to mention that I'm terrible at showing interest. I get that feedback all the time from guys I date. I've not really done much at all to show him I'm interested when I think about it from his perspective. I need to work on that.

 

I understand how daunting it may feel to put yourself out there with a crush....I get nervous myself around guys I'm interested in. But when you really think about it, that question isn't forward at all. You only think it is because you like him. You could be making casual conversation, nothing more, nothing less. Even if he said he had a bf, it wouldn't be any big deal unless you made it one.

 

I can see why you would be nervous around a crush but, correct me if I'm wrong but, aren't you quite a few years older than him? Let him see what a REAL woman is like! You shouldn't feel that nervous around a guy who's a lot younger than you and doesn't even have half the experience you have! If anything you should feel very powerful lol.

 

I think you're building this up in your head a LOT bigger than it really needs to be. Just treat him like a friend.

[Sunkissedpatio]

 

I forgot to mention that I'm terrible at showing interest. I get that feedback all the time from guys I date. I've not really done much at all to show him I'm interested when I think about it from his perspective. I need to work on that.

 

I just read the entire thread hoping that the next page would have the ultimate peak in the story but nothing.... I was going to comment that I am not seeing you do anything to flirt with him. Fine don't be the one to ask him out, I wouldn't either but you HAVE to step up your girlie flirt game. He needs to know you are wanting more than a trainer too. He's younger and likely intimidated.

 

I've seen so many missed opportunities to flirt I would have totally asked him right back what he does on weekends, and when he said "just work" I would use that as the open to door to say something like "oh c'mon good looking trainer like you must have all sorts of plans when he leaves work, what do you do for FUN fun?" and give him a coy smile. And like others suggested DO ask him if he's allowed to date women from the gym, who cares if it is too forward this will signal to him you are thinking along those lines.

 

You have to flirt at least otherwise you will be waiting a long looooong time and he might even lose interest. Be all business but then be all not.