Would most girls/women be put off by a 23 year old who has never been on a date ?

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

One of the reasons (though not by any means the only one) is that women are more pressured into socialization than men.

 

I have almost never met a woman (through work, school, friends, anything) that is what I would consider totally socially unambitious. I do know women who don't socialize all that much, but they have kids and/or a husband or boyfriend.

 

On the other hand, I can name several guys just off the top of my head who are almost completely off the map socially. I know a number of guys who don't do jack-sh@t on the weekends, almost ever, except for watching TV and sports. I know guys who are immersed in a life of pot smoking and prostitutes and are happy that way. How often do you see a woman sitting by herself at a bar and throwing back drink after drink and just watching the TV or the wall?

 

So I think there's a disconnect between less sociable men and women. Technically for every less social or socially backwards dude, there should be an equivalent woman. But it doesn't work that way.

 

Yeah well I can think of lots of guys who are over 30 and never had a relationship before but the amount of women who are over 30 who have never had a relationship before it is very rare

[JuneJulySeptember]

Yeah well I can think of lots of guys who are over 30 and never had a relationship before but the amount of women who are over 30 who have never had a relationship before it is very rare

 

I can think of a number of guys who are over FORTY who have never had a relationship before.

 

At that point, I can easily see how somebody would just let it go.

 

It's like ... for a while I looked for a particular type of job and I have the right degree and everything, but nobody would give me a chance. So, I just gave up. And it's like the further you start type of work A, the less chance anybody will ever give you a chance to do type B. Some of it is mental, but a lot of it is real.

 

And I think it's similar with dating. If you think 23 is bad, how many women would date a guy who is 46 and never had a relationship? Same thing, a lot of it is real, some of it is mental. But the longer you sit in that world and routine, the less chance it will have of happening.

 

The world is a ruthless like that. So when I see a chance to give somebody a chance, I take it (though that's never happened, lol).

Edited August 1, 2016 by JuneJulySeptember

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

I can think of a number of guys who are over FORTY who have never had a relationship before.

 

At that point, I can easily see how somebody would just let it go.

 

It's like ... for a while I looked for a particular type of job and I have the right degree and everything, but nobody would give me a chance. So, I just gave up. And it's like the further you start type of work A, the less chance anybody will ever give you a chance to do type B. Some of it is mental, but a lot of it is real.

 

And I think it's similar with dating. If you think 23 is bad, how many women would date a guy who is 46 and never had a relationship? Same thing, a lot of it is real, some of it is mental. But the longer you sit in that world and routine, the less chance it will have of happening.

 

The world is a ruthless like that. So when I see a chance to give somebody a chance, I take it (though that's never happened, lol).

Yup, something like that almost never happens to women

[LookAtThisPOst]

 

Anyways, the dating environment is certainly something both men and women should consider. A smart man who is struggling would maximize his datability = move into a thick dating market, get a career with a college education, and put in enough effort at the gym to be "above average" in fitness. That will get your foot in the door for dating, and becoming socially adept should develop with dating experience.

 

I have to kind of chuckle at this as men who are doing this are still struggling, and you're saying that's the problem of why men are struggling.

 

I know men who have done ALL that, and still struggle.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Yup, something like that almost never happens to women

 

Yeah, rarely you ever hear of a woman in her 20s never having a boyfriend. She could probably be butt ugly by the time she reaches college age.

 

I recall a brother and sister, both were dorky, nerdy, geeky, shy, and a bit socially awkward...you known, the typical stereotypical geeks...she had no problem obtaining suitors, her brother couldn't get laid in a morgue. It rather shows how much more men are sexually driven to pursue women no matter how socially awkward/nerdy/unattrative the women are.

[LookAtThisPOst]

If you think 23 is bad, how many women would date a guy who is 46 and never had a relationship?

 

Not sure how this gets started or at what point in a man's life, but I'm guessing this kind of man got started on the dating train probably beyond high school. Sometimes it's not for the lack of trying.

 

I find that typically those who had an actual steady girlfriend in high school, usually had a better shot after high school. If not high school, then college was your 2nd chance at a dating life. But if for some reason someone was too busy in college in their studies...after college, your dating opportunities go downhill after you graduate as you're not longer in a concentrated college community anymore.

 

I think when some guys past this hump, that's when it perpetuates it and it really doesn't help matters if some women these days, being how they can be, make it hard on the men when it comes to asking them out with the game playing, flakiness, etc.

 

A lot of my dating opportunities went to the wayside to a lot of women saying "Yes" to my dates, then flaking or unreturned phone calls. I had a serious stack of pieces of papers from women who never returned my calls or would flake. It was a steady stream of that before the popularity of the Internet.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Yeah, rarely you ever hear of a woman in her 20s never having a boyfriend. She could probably be butt ugly by the time she reaches college age.

 

I recall a brother and sister, both were dorky, nerdy, geeky, shy, and a bit socially awkward...you known, the typical stereotypical geeks...she had no problem obtaining suitors, her brother couldn't get laid in a morgue. It rather shows how much more men are sexually driven to pursue women no matter how socially awkward/nerdy/unattrative the women are.

Yeah, that's why in recent years I have sometimes felt jealousy and envy towards women because of how they are valued for their youth more than men are, and one guy even enragingly pissed me off when he said that a man who he is jealous or bitter is not a man

[LookAtThisPOst]

I think most men are aware that having a college degree and a 'white-collar' job, your own place, being reasonably fit, and having some fairly interesting hobbies are a minimum requirement to get a woman in the new millennium.

 

It's after they bring that to the table, go after women who are fairly similar in what they bring to the table ... and get shot down several times that the question raising begins.

 

And I get it, I've been there myself. Guys think they have to be extraordinary to get ordinary.

 

Right, and if you have to do THAT to get a date with a woman? Why bother? I think this is why men who reach their 40s and 50s start to become complacent about dating. They aren't willing to jump through all the hoops.

[PogoStick]

Right, and if you have to do THAT to get a date with a woman? Why bother? I think this is why men who reach their 40s and 50s start to become complacent about dating. They aren't willing to jump through all the hoops.

 

Ahh there the real attitude comes out. That's a far cry from "the guys who did all that and still struggled". I called BS the moment I read it. Yes, I'm sure there's the 1 in 1000 guy that's true for, but I see all the losers on TV shows like Cops and Intervention, and all of them have a girlfriend or wife. Hell, now there's even a show about people with Down's syndrome in relationships.

 

But far more common than that 1 in a 1000 guy who does all the right things and miraculously still can't land a girl, is the self-defeatist guy who would rather complain than get his azz of the couch and do something about it.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Down's syndrome in relationships.

 

That's because their options are seriously limited. They have no choice but to date those with their own disability. They are the only ones that can relate to each other.

 

The more someone can relate to each other, especially with a specific niche group, the highly the likelihood they'll not have any other strict dating parameters.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

And it's more important for a guy to be comfortable and content while single than the other way around in order for dates and a relationship to happen