I am a physical mess after my affair. Need to turn this around!

[burnt]

Hi Jenkins!

 

I will reiterate/rephrase one of the suggestions already made: instead of focusing on weight and diet, focus on exercise.

 

So, here's what's going on in your mind and body: you feel stressed, guilty, overall somewhat unsteady emotionally. To calm your mind down, your head screams "go comfort yourself"; you lean towards what provides temporary comfort however unhealthy they may be to address the current stress your body's under.

 

After the two minutes of comfort, your mind now goes into even more regrets about eating all that junk; so now not only do you have the original source of the stress (guilt over the affair), but also the stress/self loathing about not having any self control to stay away from the unhealthy food you clearly knew as unhealthy. Even at a subconscious level your mind is now saying to you:

 

"I will never change; I had the affair knowing how wrong it was; and now I'm eating all this junk still knowing it's unhealthy. I'm useless! I'm still a mess. I give up."

 

So, now you have the original emotional stress, on top the new emotional stress, and on top physical damage due to the unhealthy food.

 

Now try to fight ALL that stress. It's hard.

So, instead of resisting and cursing at yourself "I mustn't; I mustn't; I mustn't eat that junk", go with it. Understand our minds are sometimes like a child's mind: whatever we are told we aren't supposed to do, we are naturally temped to do it even more ten fold stronger.

 

So, don't fight your desires to reach for unhealthy foods--recognize that it was your own body's way to soothe itself out of stress. Instead, focus on other things that will steer/distract you away from the unhealthy habits you have developed.

 

So, it's kind of like this: think of your own mind as a young child's mind: she want's to have candy; the more you say "NO candy" the more she will continue to fret over the candy and ruminate over the thought of having that candy she can't; the louder she will cry to the point she won't be able to think of anything but the candy.

Instead, distract her with something else--get her involved into playing or doing something she will enjoy more.

 

For me personally, if I tell myself to eat right or exercise to stay healthy, it hardly ever works. I don't have the self discipline, EVEN though I know exercise is good for me. However, when I engage in a sport (it's cycling, for me) that I truly enjoy, I don't feel like forcing myself to do a chore, but rather the joy of cycling works as the magnet to pull me in. Once I'm into the cycling, then slowly I get into other types of exercises to make myself stronger in cycling; then I slowly feel more motivated in healthy eating to make myself fitter in cycling.

See now "cycling" works as the source of energy and motivation to get me to do all the other healthy things.

 

So, Jenkins, try to find a sport you can really enjoy--preferably something that is not SOLO. Then you will feel the natural urge to develop a healthier diet.

Exercise itself is a GREAT anti-depressant--so even just being active you will reduce your stress a lot, not to mention you will lose a lot of weight.

 

Good luck.

[burnt]

And here's another thought: (somewhat weird...). Don't laugh !!!

 

Get a piggy bank. Not a virtual one--I mean a physical terra cotta piggy bank. Next time you feel the urge to go to these junk food places, don't fight yourself too much, go for it, but instead of focusing on the food itself, think of the amount of money (even if it's 60 cents) that you'd spend for the food; then put the money in the piggy bank instead of spending it on the food.

 

Call it the silver lining piggy bank if you like.

 

Think of a good cause you believe in--something you care about--be it poverty, homelessness, animal rights, etc. Put every last penny that you save, say to yourself that you are saving it for that good cause. Say to yourself that even though you got yourself into this ugly mess, even though you caused so much pain in so many people including yourself, in the end, you are trying to do something benevolent out of this rut.

 

After a few months, SMASH that piggy bank--throw it against the wall in a celebration; get the money out and donate it to that cause you care about. You will bring a smile in someone's face with your donation; (well, if you donate it to a cat shelter, then the cats won't smile or grin like the cheshire cat, but will certainly purr very loudly for you).

[burnt]

And here's the 3rd thought:

 

Make your own doughnuts to take to the office next time, like this:

 

And here's my fourth thought:

 

If you still just want to focus on your diet, then try this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCLZwo3TZ3A

[Poppy47]

Hi Jenkins,

 

I lost weight when I went NC with MM. I still ate the same but lost about half a stone. I am only 5 feet so can't afford to lose much more.

 

You know you are having comfort food to help you through a bad time. The good thing is that you have admitted it.

 

I reckon you know what you have to do. You are intelligent and aware... just a little f..... up in the head like most of us on this forum.

 

Drive past Maccas tomorrow.

 

Poppy.

[Babsinhealing]

Hi Jenkins- my heart broke for you when I read your post. I know how hard this struggle has been for you, but I had no clue how hard. Reaching out IS the first step to healing and I know your capable of shifting all these negative addictions to positive- just like going NC you need to set your mind to how you want to change and stick to it. You may need some outside additional help with some of these challenges but start taking the steps (albeit baby steps on some days) to get yourself healthy again. Ask your wife to help you with making some changes- instead of wine every night- have a healthy smoothie. Instead of putting a cigarette in your mouth- throw a piece of gum in there.

 

Jenkins- you are STRONG- you can do this. You just need to set your mind on it and do it. You ended your A... If you can do THAT- you can do anything. PM me if you want to talk. (Hugs)

[Grey Cloud]

Hi Jenkins, you turned to alcohol and food for comfort to make yourself feel temporarily better. It gave you a small hit/sugar high then it wears off and you feel worse. You need more food and alcohol to feel better, to get the 'high' again. And so the cycle continues. You are also doing things in secret such as the McDonalds double breakfast. Very similar to the highs and lows and secret nature of an affair - just that you have replaced one addiction with another and still feeling the same shame/guilt as a result.

 

I know you recognise this and are quite far in your recovery now to know the cycle has to stop. Admitting this to yourself and others is the first step. You want to break the cycle and I know you are strong enough to do that!! We will help you get through this!!

[jenkins95]

Thanks for the amazing replies guys! Know that it is making an amazing difference, is motivating me and is arming me with lots of excellent ideas.

 

And the messages with a personal touch...they have really moved me so much! Thank you!

 

I haven't had much time to post because I have been working a long shift. I will be back to post some specific replies and feedback tomorrow, but for now, just to say that I have already started making small changes basically in the 24 hours since I have been getting replies from you amazing LSers. This includes: -

 

1. Driving PAST McDonald's (and other fast food joints) today!

2. Drinking lots of water.

3. Resisted wine/chips/crisps last night.

4. We had salad for dinner yesterday (and I didn't sneak off for extras!).

5. Short walk last night (up a hill) and spent almost my entire lunchtime walking today...already becoming infectious.

6. Completely avoided all the junk in the office. It's a constant temptation, but each time I walk past those donuts, I feel a little buzz of achievement!

7. Two cigarettes today. That's two too many, but better than yesterday.

8. One coffee today (can sometimes be up to 5!).

 

These are all small steps in the right direction!

 

Thanks so much all of you, you are great! - I will be back very soon!

[jenkins95]

I reckon you know what you have to do. You are intelligent and aware... just a little f..... up in the head like most of us on this forum.

 

This put a huge smile on my face! I'm not sure about the "intelligent" bit, but you are spot on with the second part!

[jenkins95]

Inspirational post 66Charger - thank you!

 

Three main things I take from this post: -

 

1. Addictive tendencies can be channelled in positive directions.

2. Walking is an excellent way to get into exercise and you can start it even if you are in bad physical shape like me. I already did around 5 miles walking since you posted this! The longwalking that you do sounds awesome.

3. When I look in the mirror, I will not get down and see a slob, I will get motivated and see a challenge.

 

Just one thing though - I will use the scales, but only as a general guide - I will not obsess about it.

 

Yes, time to get my big boy pants on (I'm hoping they will soon be medium boy pants)

 

Much appreciated!

 

The first thing you should do is put a end to the whining about your weight. When you look in the mirror, instead of seeing how fat you have become, look at it as something you have to do. Turn your way of thinking around. Change the negative into determination.

 

An addictive personality may actually benefit you, if you can change your addictions. I am addicted to running or longwalking in the desert. Its a crazy thing to do, and I have had a few close boughts of severe dehydration, however once I finish, I feel."clean" mentally and.physically. the "rush," stays with me for days.

 

Start new.patterns. I suggest you start with distance walking. It is easy to start and.can.become addictive. The effects are immediate. Buy yourself a new pair of running shoes and set them near your front door. Get yourself a.good set of earphones and load up the music.,(nothing that reminds you of the AP) The easiest way to start is to have the wife drop you off 5 miles from home. You no longer have a choice. You must walk home. Put the earphones on and.get going. It should take you less than 90 minutes. Watch your time. by the 3rd time you will see your time dropping.

 

Forget about the scale, focus on your time. Then start changing the distance. Then mix in a little jogging. Get.lost in the music. Check out your surrondings and people watch and.time.will fly. Go deep into yourself, and by the time you finish your walk, your mentality will change.

 

There is a runners and.distance walkers "high" You can become addicted to it. If you start now, you may lose that 60 lbs by Christmas.

 

No more whining. No more excuses. No, but I have bad knees. Put your "big boy" pants.on and.get.going.

[jenkins95]

Since his wife is a BS, he needs to be careful she doesn't drop him 500 miles from home .

 

Two easy diet tricks that work for me -

 

1). Eat an apple every day around 4:00 pm. They fill your stomach and help absorb the enzymes that make you feel you're hungry.

 

2). Like you, I'm a snacker. Most stores sell small cut trays of fruit and/or veggies, I buy one every Monday and keep it in the breakroom fridge. When others are reaching for donuts, it give me something else to eat.

 

Good luck and keep posting...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

Thanks Mr L. It's now nearly 4pm here, and there is an apple in my bag currently receiving it's last rites - all thanks to your post!

 

Wonderful idea, and it illustrates a bigger point. I should prepare better and buy things in advance. A big problem is that I don't do that and so when I get hungry, I don't have anything with me...and that big plate of donuts in the office starts calling me louder and louder!

[jenkins95]

Three amazing, inspirational and well thought-out posts burnt - exactly what I've come to expect from you! Thank you!

 

Even at a subconscious level your mind is now saying to you:

 

"I will never change; I had the affair knowing how wrong it was; and now I'm eating all this junk still knowing it's unhealthy. I'm useless! I'm still a mess. I give up."

 

So, now you have the original emotional stress, on top the new emotional stress, and on top physical damage due to the unhealthy food.

 

Bingo - absolutely spot on, burnt!

 

It's great using the model of a child's mind to think about this, and again - you are absolutely right. I will be careful not to ban or forbid anything in terms of diet, because then it immediately has power over you and creates a rule just crying out to be broken. I know that I wouldn't have the self-discipline to stick to strict rules...and I would immediately be back in "I give up" mode as soon as I broke any of them. I will just try to make better nutritional choices (such as many of the excellent ideas posted here) and be disciplined, accepting that the odd treat and slip up will happen occasionally! The piggy bank idea is brilliant!

 

I also agree with you about sport - it should be fun, not a chore of you will never stick to it long term. I used to do lots of sports in my Uni days and swim for my county. I am already enjoying long walks and I think I will start hitting the local pool again soon - swimming is also a good activity for escaping into one's own thoughts while exercising at the same time. I also have young kids. Encouraging them to do certain sports with me will be healthy for all of us as well as a great bonding activity!

 

I can't access YouTube from my office, but I can't wait to check out those videos later. you are very thoughtful - thank you! You are a star burnt

Edited July 7, 2016 by jenkins95

[Sabella]

Hugs J! Just that you are starting to live more consciously is a huge step forward, get out of that auto pilot mindset...it's a killer!

 

Like Confused, I also use intermittent fasting and it has helped me a great deal. We talk about it in a thread here somewhere. There are lots of styles and approaches to it also, not a one size fits all. The exercise is gonna be an important stress release, so find something fun.

 

I actually went with another big step and hired a personal trainer. I meet with him once a week and he also gives me homework. He is awesome, supportive and keeps me accountable.

 

I am certain you will find someething that works for you )) I know it will also bring you some piece of mind and happiness once you feel a bit better physically.

 

Proud of you and your efforts so far, keep it up!

Edited July 7, 2016 by Sabella
Typos make me crazy

[HopeForTomorrow]

Hugs J! Just that you are starting to live more consciously is a huge step forward, get out of that auto pilot mindset...it's a killer!

 

Like Confused, I also use intermittent fasting and it has helped me a great deal. We talk about it in a thread here somewhere. There are lots of styles and approaches to it also, not a one size fits all. The exercise is gonna be an important stress release, so find something fun.

 

I actually went with another big step and hired a personal trainer. I meet with him once a week and he also gives me homework. He is awesome, supportive and keeps me accountable.

 

I am certain you will find someething that works for you )) I know it will also bring you some piece of mind and happiness once you feel a bit better physically.

 

Proud of you and your efforts so far, keep it up!

 

OP, congratulations on all the changes you have made already! You are on your way…

 

I would like to also mention the intermittent fasting way of eating as mentioned in the post above. There is a thread on it here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/mind-body-soul/physical-fitness-health-weight-management/581922-intermittent-fasting It works fast and it’s safe – in fact, studies have shown that it actually prolongs life to eat this way.

 

It’s amazing the impact that even one change can have. Take, for instance, the McDonald’s breakfasts. One thing I do is make these ahead of time: Scrambled Egg Muffins Recipe | Taste of Home and take 1 or 2 to work to pop in the microwave for breakfast. Eggs, sausage, cheese. Low carb and high protein. Even if you eat three, you are only getting about 400 calories and 6 grams carbs.

 

Contrast that to 2 McDonald’s breakfasts (not including the drink) and you are eating around 1300 calories and 90 carbs. HUGE difference for about the same amount of food, plus the extra protein keeps your blood glucose levels steady keeping you full. All the carbs in the McDonald’s meals spike your blood glucose which spikes your insulin levels so that your body says, “Hey, I’m hungry!” a couple of hours later. Not only that but all that glucose (carbs) turns into fat.

 

You seem like the determined type and you have already done the hardest thing – breaking off your affair. You can do this.

[Dancewithme]

Jenkins, it sounds like you may have a bit of emotional eating going on...you are feeling so bad about your actions, the consequences, etc that you are eating to feel better. Which becomes a vicious circle in that you feel bad about the overeating afterward, which then turns into eating more.

 

Are you seeing a therapist? Maybe this is something to talk with that person about. Or talk with a nutritionist who can help you come up with food options and monitor your progress and maybe even address the emotional eating directly. My friend went and saw a nutritionist after her divorce when she was emotional eating a lot, and it helped her.

 

As for the drinking...that seems like a lot of daily drinking. You probably need help to address this...AA? Maybe that could help with your addictive personality too.

 

Good luck.

f

 

Jenkins, you have been so open and positive in your efforts to help others out of the infidelity mire, my heart hurts for what you are now going through. I haven't read through this entire thread, I stopped when I got to Bittersweetie's comments. I have to agree with Bittersweetie.

 

Jenkins, I think of something Oprah said on her show years ago. She has always struggled with her weight, tried many things, nothing seemed to work. She was told, and I paraphrase: " The problem is not what you're eating, it's what's eating you." What is eating you, Jenkins?

 

I strongly suggest therapy if you're not there already. You have been through a lot, with ending your affair, reconciling with your wife, and being the voice of reason on LS. That's a rough road to navigate on your own. Maybe you need to do some deeper digging and deal with issues you don't realize are impacting you.

 

The weight struggle is a real b**ch, that I know. Hopefully you can find and address the reasons you're making those unhealthy dietary choices.

 

Stay strong, you can do it!

[starglider]

Hi Jenkins95,

 

Jawbone Up or Fitbit will get you on the right track, (the UP3 tracks movement, sleep, exercise & food) but this will become just another "project" or distraction or way to occupy your brain, in my opinion. Why?

 

It sounds like you haven't learned your big life lesson yet through your affair.

 

I think it is all about a journey into yourself - how have you abandoned yourself in this lifetime? Your addiction to the AP and numbing out through food and alcohol is all a way of abandoning yourself. Probably something you had to do in childhood to survive (at least according to the inner child theory of John Bradshaw).

 

So your lack of self care, your addictive personality both point to the idea that you had some sort of emotional neglect or trauma in childhood and this has impacted your brain development to put you in chronic stress mode (fight/flight and adrenaline junkie).

 

Until you heal yourself fully (usually a spiritual component plus healing your autonomic nervous system and brain pathways), you'll just be going from one project/diet/obsession/crisis to another.

 

It is up to you to keep on living life this way or strive for consciousness and wake up.

[66Charger]

Walk 10 miles this weekend. Split it up or do it all at once. Drink lots of water.

 

Show us what you got, bro

[Poppy47]

Don't walk ten miles yet. If you are unfit you will get really sore and put off exercise all together.

 

Try 30 or 40 minutes a day and then increase it slowly. 15 minutes one way, turn around and 15 minutes back... easy peasy.

 

Poppy

[Hamish57a]

I was married 25 years to the greatest girl, I had an affair with a past relationship. I had been faithful all the time I knew my wife, almost 30 years and it tore me apart. I was so ashamed of my self that I cut off all ties with my family and friends, everyone even my children. I ran away. It's been 8 years. In that time I've worked 2 years, gotten remarried and left her. Tried to committ suicide 3 times. And even right now as I sit here think that I will never be happy again.

 

Don't let it control your life like it had mine, you are with your wife, be thankful, count your lucky stars that you are not alone. I'm not as bad as I once was but a big part of me is dead inside because I continue to feel so bad about the perfect life that I destroyed. My ex and I are friends and I do see my kids and my parents but I haven't been able to face my 5 siblings and may never, I am over weight, not working but that may change very soon. Everyone says move on but it's hard. At this point in my life I don't see anything good happening for quite some time sorry for the doom and gloom but this is where I'm at 8 years later

[jenkins95]

Walk 10 miles this weekend. Split it up or do it all at once. Drink lots of water.

 

Show us what you got, bro

 

Challenge accepted! I will report back. And charger....thank you - this is EXACTLY the kind of encouragement and "push" that I need!

 

Don't walk ten miles yet. If you are unfit you will get really sore and put off exercise all together.

 

Try 30 or 40 minutes a day and then increase it slowly. 15 minutes one way, turn around and 15 minutes back... easy peasy.

 

Poppy

 

I take this on board Poppy - thank you. I aim to complete charger's challenge, but splitting the 10 miles over the whole weekend. One step at a time (metaphorically and literally )

[jenkins95]

Hi Jenkins95,

 

Jawbone Up or Fitbit will get you on the right track, (the UP3 tracks movement, sleep, exercise & food) but this will become just another "project" or distraction or way to occupy your brain, in my opinion. Why?

 

It sounds like you haven't learned your big life lesson yet through your affair.

 

I think it is all about a journey into yourself - how have you abandoned yourself in this lifetime? Your addiction to the AP and numbing out through food and alcohol is all a way of abandoning yourself. Probably something you had to do in childhood to survive (at least according to the inner child theory of John Bradshaw).

 

So your lack of self care, your addictive personality both point to the idea that you had some sort of emotional neglect or trauma in childhood and this has impacted your brain development to put you in chronic stress mode (fight/flight and adrenaline junkie).

 

Until you heal yourself fully (usually a spiritual component plus healing your autonomic nervous system and brain pathways), you'll just be going from one project/diet/obsession/crisis to another.

 

It is up to you to keep on living life this way or strive for consciousness and wake up.

 

starglider, thank you for this. It has made me think a lot, and I will just take the thread off topic for this post just to explore this a little.

 

There is an element of my childhood that I think has a lot to do with the way I am now. Background - my mother's father walked out on her and her mother for a younger OW when she was 10. Prior to this she was a Daddy's girl and suddenly he was gone literally overnight. She didn't see him again until her late 30s. This shattered both her and her mother (my grandmother), who attempted suicide several times. Unsurprisingly all this had a huge affect on her emotionally. She had to grow up fast and left school as soon as she legally could to look after her mother (previously she had wanted to go to Uni).

 

When I came along, I was given a great home, my parents have stayed together and I wanted for nothing. But my mother was very emotionally detached (unsurprising given what she went through). She loved me (and still does - we have a good relationship) very much in her own way and was/is a good mother, but there was very little open warmth and physical contact - hugs, etc. For example, I remember many times walking home from school with some sort of picture I had drawn or test that I had passed, just wanting my mother to smile with delight, pick me up and hug and kiss me and tell me how wonderful it was and then display it on the fridge with a magnet, as I'd witnessed with my friends. But on my arrival, her reaction was much more like that of a teacher. She would rather coldly praise the piece of work, without smiles or enthusiasm, file it away in a folder and tell me to keep up the good work. My father was more openly warm, but he spent large amounts of time away working.

 

I am now the kind of person who is always looking for hugs and physical comfort in an almost maternal way. When distance grew between my wife and I just due to the daily grind of life, I stupidly found comfort in the arms of a woman who gave me as many hugs as I wanted Now, I find that comfort in hamburgers.

 

Thanks for this opportunity for reflection starglider.

 

I should add that this is absolutely no criticism of my mother and I do not feel sorry for myself because I had an otherwise wonderful childhood. So many people have so much more cr*p than this to deal with and I'm sure many members here have to deal with so much worse in their childhood - parents divorcing, abuse, etc. I'm very lucky and I know it.

[jenkins95]

I was married 25 years to the greatest girl, I had an affair with a past relationship. I had been faithful all the time I knew my wife, almost 30 years and it tore me apart. I was so ashamed of my self that I cut off all ties with my family and friends, everyone even my children. I ran away. It's been 8 years. In that time I've worked 2 years, gotten remarried and left her. Tried to committ suicide 3 times. And even right now as I sit here think that I will never be happy again.

 

Don't let it control your life like it had mine, you are with your wife, be thankful, count your lucky stars that you are not alone. I'm not as bad as I once was but a big part of me is dead inside because I continue to feel so bad about the perfect life that I destroyed. My ex and I are friends and I do see my kids and my parents but I haven't been able to face my 5 siblings and may never, I am over weight, not working but that may change very soon. Everyone says move on but it's hard. At this point in my life I don't see anything good happening for quite some time sorry for the doom and gloom but this is where I'm at 8 years later

 

This is tough to read (((Hamish))) and I thank you sincerely for sharing it. I so hope that you can find happiness again, and I take on board what you say VERY seriously, I am extremely lucky to have been given another chance. I simply can't implode, give up and ruin everything - I just cannot let that be a viable option.

 

Hamish, you say you are overweight. Would you consider joining me as a "training partner" on this thread? It is one of the things that I really wanted to come out of this. Next week, I will start posting stats about my weight, amount of walking done, etc. Will you join me and take on some of the excellent challenges and advice that I am getting on this thread? It may seem trivial compared to all that you are dealing with, but it may be a little step in the right direction?

 

Keep posting Hamish.

[jenkins95]

Many people have suggested visiting a therapist and/or a doctor. Thank you guys. I think it is time that I started acting on this great advice. I will visit my local doctor next week for a general physical, weight/health check, etc. Apart from anything else, i think I may be experiencing the early signs of type 2 diabetes - lots of passing urine, raging thirst, feeling light headed, shivery and faint. I think a trip to the docs is well overdue - will report back!

[jenkins95]

I wanted to ignore your post bescause i think your on the wrong path

 

Thanks for posting Noideanow. I respect your opinion, but I do hope you're wrong. The path I am on now keeps my young family in a single unit, so that has to be worth putting 100% into doesn't it? Time will tell if we can fully get past this and move on, but I truly hope so with all my heart.

 

Pack your back with healthy organic food so you have something when feel like eating and eat all you Can.......i think a Lot of positive things Will comeback out of it, dont drink Anymore alcohol:o

 

Thanks for this advice. Yes, I need to be more prepared and take healthy things with me to work, etc. A big problem is not being prepared and having nothing with me - then getting hungry at work. My office is right by a mall with McDonald's, KFC...every junk food joint you can imagine, all within a few hundred yards. Then, in the office itself, there are donuts, cakes, etc, everywhere. What an unhealthy office we are - as I type this, the guy right next to me is munching his way through a HUGE bag of pork scratchings! There has to be 5000 calories in that bag alone...and he is making short work of it!

 

If I have healthy things with me, fruit, healthy organic food, etc as you say, then I will be much better placed to avoid bad temptations! As for alcohol, well not sure I will give it up completely, but I definitely want to avoid it on weekdays from now on (none for past two nights), and monitor it more carefully at weekends.

 

Thank you and keep posting - please don't ignore my posts!

[jenkins95]

Jenkins I very much like your posts. You seem like a very good man. Please stop beating yourself up.

 

My story is a little different as I was in a sexless marriage for many years before my now exH had an affair. (The sexless marriage was not my idea). I used to be slim but my frustration soon gave me the "why does it matter anymore" attitude and I gained 50 pounds.

 

My close friend who is a physician was on my case about it because of health reasons, my blood pressure was high enough that I needed meds and my cholesterol went up (I am a physician also but havent practiced in almost 25 years).

 

My divorce was final mid May of this year and I realized I had to do something. So far I have lost about half the weight I need to lose.

 

The biggest thing is to get moving. Walk or go to the gym and use the treadmill or elliptical. You will feel so much better and it isnt' all mental because exercise actually increases the good hormones in the brain. What happened for me was that once I started to get active the crappy food no longer was such a temptation because I just thought "why would I eat that when in 30 seconds it will ruin the hour I just walked".

 

Once you lose that first 10 pounds you are well on your way because you feel better and want to keep it goinng. It doesnt take long to start seeing results, the hardest part is just getting started.

 

I wish you success Jenkins

 

Thanks for a fantastic post Moxie, good luck in your own journey and feel free to post your own progress if you wish, although it looks like you have everything well under control. You are an inspiration in getting out of the "who even cares" mindset and turning it around. The bolded parts I am reading over and over again. Thanks Moxie!

[jenkins95]

I have this too it is exactly the way I thought after my False R discovery the whole 'why bother' attitude. Yep that attitude has lead me to gain 25 lbs:sick:

 

(((jenkins95))) do you think you may be depressed? I have struggled with deep depression for close to 4 years now (ever since Dday). I am on meds which help me tremendously, but I know I need to start exercising. Exercising releases those wonderful endorphins which help battle depression.

 

You are not alone jenkins!!! Hang in there!

 

Thanks so much (((ladydesigner)))!

 

"I know I need to start exercising."

 

Well, why not join me on this thread and post your progress - I am busy recruiting training partners!! The more the merrier! We can all motivate each other and share ideas/progress!