So Angry Right Now

[13Hearts]

ROTFLMAO

 

WOMEN choose MEN. And when a woman is done with a particular man, then he will move on. It is not until the woman is done and does not want to be with him, or live with him, or whatever she uses him for, that he will leave.

 

Really? In what world is this true? Planet Doormat?

 

Just messin with ya (not really) ignore.

 

I don't get it.

[13Hearts]

So are you saying that the affair, and subsequently all the pain, anger and damage it has caused, is 100% your fault? That all affairs are 100% the woman's fault?

 

I'm not sure how you came to that conclusion from what I said in response to Pooldog but no, that is nothing even remotely close to what I was saying.

 

I know it's difficult to understand this but there is no such thing as fault. It only applies in the human mind. There is only what is.

 

If two brown bears who live in the forest have bear cubs and live together in a bear family, and a black bear comes along and mates with the brown bear of the opposite sex, whose fault is it? the brown bear who had sex with the black bear, the black bear, or the other brown bear?

[13Hearts]

All these posts and still no reason why you need to be in contact with him...

 

Why is it so difficult for people to believe that a woman can become emotionally attached to, and have sex with, a man, and then stop having sex with him, cease the emotional attachment, and just talk to the guy like a normal person without trying to get something from him, being an emotional wimp, or wanting to be in a relationship with him?

 

Does everyone here really think that little of women?

 

Or is it because you still believe that men control relationships and pick and choose who they marry like in Cinderella?

 

Or is it because you have a specific picture of what OW look like, and to you they are weak and unable to control themselves?

 

Anyway, for the answer to your question, read all my posts above.

[ChickiePops]

Why is it so difficult for people to believe that a woman can become emotionally attached to, and have sex with, a man, and then stop having sex with him, cease the emotional attachment, and just talk to the guy like a normal person without trying to get something from him, being an emotional wimp, or wanting to be in a relationship with him?

 

Does everyone here really think that little of women?

 

Or is it because you still believe that men control relationships and pick and choose who they marry like in Cinderella?

 

Or is it because you have a specific picture of what OW look like, and to you they are weak and unable to control themselves?

 

Anyway, for the answer to your question, read all my posts above.

 

I did. You're clearly still attached. And you make the claim that men have nothing to do with choosing their relationships. So you chose to chase a married man, and subsequently to hurt yourself, him, and his entire family.

 

I personally think that both people choose whether or not to be in relationships. I think all people have free will, not just women.

 

Also..bears are animals. They have nothing to do with any of this.

[13Hearts]

I did. You're clearly still attached. And you make the claim that men have nothing to do with choosing their relationships. So you chose to chase a married man, and subsequently to hurt yourself, him, and his entire family.

 

I personally think that both people choose whether or not to be in relationships. I think all people have free will, not just women.

 

Also..bears are animals. They have nothing to do with any of this.

 

No, I'm not attached.

Nor am I chasing a MM.

 

The story is not about bears, ChickiePops, it's about fault.

[13Hearts]

I've been doing a lot of reading, observing, and thinking lately. I like my newfound freedom from anger, disappointment, hurt, and confusion. That stuff is toxic! I am refocused on my life, the things I want, and my family and friends, and while everything related to that is not exactly as I want them to be (and some things - unrelated to xMM and the A - that are quite difficult to deal with), I am happy, productive, not depressed, and feel great about myself and life in general. And today I had a new realization.

 

It was not xMM who could not give ME what I wanted. It was I who could not give xMM what HE wanted. He wanted to be in an emotional, physical, and intimate relationship with me, but there was no other way to do that except in an extramarital affair. I told him that many times, and he tried to leave his wife but couldn't. I tried to move on many times but each time he found a way to hook me back in, and would buy me gifts, come to my home, call me, text me, spend time with me during every spare moment he had. And still I could not give him what he wanted.

 

He kept this up for well over three years. I gave him as much attention as I could but as I explained to him, I have a full plate, a full life, and a lot of responsibility at work and with my family. There was just no way for me to be who or what he needed me to be.

 

Yes, he tried to manipulate me into giving him what he wanted. He used all sorts of tactics to keep me involved. But in the end, I just stopped replying to his texts and his phone calls. Yes, it had hurt, but life goes on.

 

I'm glad I can see more clearly now. All this LS talk made it so much more difficult. I wish people here would take more responsibility for their own actions and decisions, and focus less on what the MM is doing and has done.

[Poppy47]

I've been doing a lot of reading, observing, and thinking lately. I like my newfound freedom from anger, disappointment, hurt, and confusion. That stuff is toxic! I am refocused on my life, the things I want, and my family and friends, and while everything related to that is not exactly as I want them to be (and some things - unrelated to xMM and the A - that are quite difficult to deal with), I am happy, productive, not depressed, and feel great about myself and life in general. And today I had a new realization.

 

It was not xMM who could not give ME what I wanted. It was I who could not give xMM what HE wanted. He wanted to be in an emotional, physical, and intimate relationship with me, but there was no other way to do that except in an extramarital affair. I told him that many times, and he tried to leave his wife but couldn't. I tried to move on many times but each time he found a way to hook me back in, and would buy me gifts, come to my home, call me, text me, spend time with me during every spare moment he had. And still I could not give him what he wanted.

 

He kept this up for well over three years. I gave him as much attention as I could but as I explained to him, I have a full plate, a full life, and a lot of responsibility at work and with my family. There was just no way for me to be who or what he needed me to be.

 

Yes, he tried to manipulate me into giving him what he wanted. He used all sorts of tactics to keep me involved. But in the end, I just stopped replying to his texts and his phone calls. Yes, it had hurt, but life goes on.

 

I'm glad I can see more clearly now. All this LS talk made it so much more difficult. I wish people here would take more responsibility for their own actions and decisions, and focus less on what the MM is doing and has done.

 

I think a lot of people are in trouble when they come here Hearts.Sometimes it's difficult to see straight, you know.

 

You have moved on now and I am so very pleased to hear it. MM always try to manipulate. XMM nearly went mental trying to be all things to me when clearly he couldn't.

 

We came to an impasse. He couldn't be what I wanted, and I couldn't give him what he wanted.

 

Life goes on.

Poppy.

[ladydesigner]

I've been doing a lot of reading, observing, and thinking lately. I like my newfound freedom from anger, disappointment, hurt, and confusion. That stuff is toxic! I am refocused on my life, the things I want, and my family and friends, and while everything related to that is not exactly as I want them to be (and some things - unrelated to xMM and the A - that are quite difficult to deal with), I am happy, productive, not depressed, and feel great about myself and life in general. And today I had a new realization.

 

It was not xMM who could not give ME what I wanted. It was I who could not give xMM what HE wanted. He wanted to be in an emotional, physical, and intimate relationship with me, but there was no other way to do that except in an extramarital affair. I told him that many times, and he tried to leave his wife but couldn't. I tried to move on many times but each time he found a way to hook me back in, and would buy me gifts, come to my home, call me, text me, spend time with me during every spare moment he had. And still I could not give him what he wanted.

 

He kept this up for well over three years. I gave him as much attention as I could but as I explained to him, I have a full plate, a full life, and a lot of responsibility at work and with my family. There was just no way for me to be who or what he needed me to be.

 

Yes, he tried to manipulate me into giving him what he wanted. He used all sorts of tactics to keep me involved. But in the end, I just stopped replying to his texts and his phone calls. Yes, it had hurt, but life goes on.

 

I'm glad I can see more clearly now. All this LS talk made it so much more difficult. I wish people here would take more responsibility for their own actions and decisions, and focus less on what the MM is doing and has done.

 

Who cares what he wanted Hearts. I think he couldn't give you what you needed from a R because he is M. Heck my own WH can't even give me what I want he is so caught up in himself I don't think MM can give anyone what they need because they are the ones taking.

 

I'm glad to read you are well on your way away from this! Happier and healthier times ahead!

[13Hearts]

I want to say thank you to everyone who has been supportive here, shared their stories, refrained from bashing, and provided intelligent feedback and conversation.

 

I've been thinking lately how before xMM came into my life, I didn't spend hour upon hour, day after day, reading forums, blogs, and articles about MM, affairs, and cheating, and how to get over these situations and move on. It wasn't part of my life or my world. I would never purposely invite such toxicity into my life and frankly, I'm SICK OF IT.

 

I'm sick of thinking about xMM, what his motives were, what his motives weren't, the things he did and said, whether or not he lied when he said this or that, why he said one thing or another, what he is or was thinking, how he actually felt or didn't feel, the game, how I've handled it, how to avoid him, how I should go NC, what's going to happen, whether or not he's cheating with someone else, why he is this way, how many men are like this, and on and on.

 

I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want to waste one more minute of my ONE PRECIOUS LIFE on affairs, MM, being an OW, the xMM, MM in general. The whole wretched business is disgusting and makes me sick! I wish I had never let this person close to me. But I am going to move on. I'm going to try to not come here to LS any longer, so I can focus on turning my life and my self BACK into being happy, fun, and positive again, and back to pursuing the things I want in life!!

 

If you want to stay in touch, please PM me your email, and I will email you. If not, I wish you all the best and will keep you in my prayers, and hope that soon every one of you escapes the wretchedness, destruction, and depression caused by affairs. I hope you all gain the strength to break free and dump the sickos who are cheating MM and MW! They are parasites and they do not deserve to have you in their lives!

 

Bye and take care!

Love,

xoxo,

❤❤❤,

13Hearts

[MidnightBlue1980]

I want to say thank you to everyone who has been supportive here, shared their stories, refrained from bashing, and provided intelligent feedback and conversation.

 

I've been thinking lately how before xMM came into my life, I didn't spend hour upon hour, day after day, reading forums, blogs, and articles about MM, affairs, and cheating, and how to get over these situations and move on. It wasn't part of my life or my world. I would never purposely invite such toxicity into my life and frankly, I'm SICK OF IT.

 

I'm sick of thinking about xMM, what his motives were, what his motives weren't, the things he did and said, whether or not he lied when he said this or that, why he said one thing or another, what he is or was thinking, how he actually felt or didn't feel, the game, how I've handled it, how to avoid him, how I should go NC, what's going to happen, whether or not he's cheating with someone else, why he is this way, how many men are like this, and on and on.

 

I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want to waste one more minute of my ONE PRECIOUS LIFE on affairs, MM, being an OW, the xMM, MM in general. The whole wretched business is disgusting and makes me sick! I wish I had never let this person close to me. But I am going to move on. I'm going to try to not come here to LS any longer, so I can focus on turning my life and my self BACK into being happy, fun, and positive again, and back to pursuing the things I want in life!!

 

If you want to stay in touch, please PM me your email, and I will email you. If not, I wish you all the best and will keep you in my prayers, and hope that soon every one of you escapes the wretchedness, destruction, and depression caused by affairs. I hope you all gain the strength to break free and dump the sickos who are cheating MM and MW! They are parasites and they do not deserve to have you in their lives!

 

Bye and take care!

Love,

xoxo,

❤❤❤,

13Hearts

 

I wish you well 13 Hearts. For me, everytime I make a big statement about being over, it's obvious I am not. This place is like my AA. I know when I've over it it will be more like a whimper and less like a roar. I won't even notice I never come here anymore. For now, I stay on guard as I'm not out of the woods yet. (sorry Taylor Swift)

[ladydesigner]

I want to say thank you to everyone who has been supportive here, shared their stories, refrained from bashing, and provided intelligent feedback and conversation.

 

I've been thinking lately how before xMM came into my life, I didn't spend hour upon hour, day after day, reading forums, blogs, and articles about MM, affairs, and cheating, and how to get over these situations and move on. It wasn't part of my life or my world. I would never purposely invite such toxicity into my life and frankly, I'm SICK OF IT.

 

I'm sick of thinking about xMM, what his motives were, what his motives weren't, the things he did and said, whether or not he lied when he said this or that, why he said one thing or another, what he is or was thinking, how he actually felt or didn't feel, the game, how I've handled it, how to avoid him, how I should go NC, what's going to happen, whether or not he's cheating with someone else, why he is this way, how many men are like this, and on and on.

 

I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want to waste one more minute of my ONE PRECIOUS LIFE on affairs, MM, being an OW, the xMM, MM in general. The whole wretched business is disgusting and makes me sick! I wish I had never let this person close to me. But I am going to move on. I'm going to try to not come here to LS any longer, so I can focus on turning my life and my self BACK into being happy, fun, and positive again, and back to pursuing the things I want in life!!

 

If you want to stay in touch, please PM me your email, and I will email you. If not, I wish you all the best and will keep you in my prayers, and hope that soon every one of you escapes the wretchedness, destruction, and depression caused by affairs. I hope you all gain the strength to break free and dump the sickos who are cheating MM and MW! They are parasites and they do not deserve to have you in their lives!

 

Bye and take care!

Love,

xoxo,

❤❤❤,

13Hearts

 

I hear you! I have been here far toooooo long

 

Take good care Hearts and if you do feel the need to come back and post (because you are good at helping others) please do!

[Poppy47]

Hearts,

Well done!

 

I have been here far too long also. It keeps me on the straight and narrow path.

 

Best Wishes,

 

Poppy

[MidnightBlue1980]

Hearts,

Well done!

 

I have been here far too long also. It keeps me on the straight and narrow path.

 

Best Wishes,

 

Poppy

 

I can relate. I read all the threads but so many posters, many come and never return. It is my AA and keeps me from that drink.

 

I guess it's a bit easier for me as xMM really does not act like he loves me or wants to be with me. When we speak, it's as if he feels sorry for me and is doing me a favor out of pity. (((cringe)))

 

I've been in the situation where the MM is ardently pursing me and it's very difficult. It hurts where I am but that is worse.

[13Hearts]

Hi everybody,

Things are going well, relatively speaking. I am focusing a lot of attention on my family right now because one of my family members is very sick. It is very nice to be have the opportunity to care for my family and not be upset or distracted by an affair with a married guy who leads you on and makes all kinds of excuses. I'm also focusing a lot of energy on my career and my job. It is so nice not to be bombarded with text messages, phone calls, and emails from some married guy all day long. I've also been making the effort to spend time with friends. Have gone out to eat a couple times, and we've had some cookouts, mixed family and friends. It is nice to be able to focus my attention and energies on these things that are important and healthy for me and not be bogged down in a sick relationship with a married guy who has no intention of leaving his wife. It's also nice that I don't think about it very often but focus on ME instead.

 

Anyway, the reason I came back here is to share something I found with those of you who may be trying to get out of a relationship with a MM, or trying to understand WTH is going on or what has happened. I'm not sure if this is OK or not, but I don't recall seeing a rule that says it's not. If I'm wrong, I apologize and please delete the link from this post. This is a short video by Dr Simon, the researcher I've talked about on here before, where he explains manipulative people and what is really going on. A lot of people who come here talk about how confusing it is that MM say one thing but do another, and they make all kinds of excuses, for years. Here's the link if you want to watch it:

 

Enjoy!

[Adoraxx]

Thanks Hearts, I'm going to check it out!!!

Glad to hear that you're doing so well (sorry to hear about your sick family member )

[Miss Clavel]

I don't know why but over the last couple of days I have felt like such an idiot. I actually BELIEVED everything xMM told me about us, how much he was in love with me, all the flattery and good things about me which really boosted my self-image after going through a break-up a year or so before we hooked up, how compatible we are, how we were going to live our lives together, do all these things together, where we were going to live, all of it. I also believed everything he said about how he and his wife had no life together, did nothing together, just shared the same house, that they were separated, how he told her he wanted a divorce and they stopped marriage counseling. And I know now that it was all complete BS. Every single bit of it.

 

Add to that, texting yesterday he confirmed what I already knew which is that he is involved with another OW, having sex with her now, sneaking around during the day when he's supposed to be at lunch or on a work appointment out of the office.

 

All of it makes me feel like a worthless piece of $hit. If he pulled up in front of my house right now I would throw big rocks at his car.

 

 

i would never, ever advise anyone to seek revenge.

 

 

i'd never suggest smearing dog poop under his car door handles. i'd never go on social media and troll him by pretending to be a naive ex and poast comments like "baby pleassseeee, you promised. why don't youuuu looooveeee me???"

 

nope.

 

i'd never call his job and ask for him and when they said he's out to lunch, reply: oh, i'm here at the sugar sex shack and he hasn't come in yet.

 

nope.

 

i'd never make a flyer saying "your results are positive" and shove it under his windsheild wiper.

 

[Cloudcuckoo]

i would never, ever advise anyone to seek revenge.

 

 

i'd never suggest smearing dog poop under his car door handles. i'd never go on social media and troll him by pretending to be a naive ex and poast comments like "baby pleassseeee, you promised. why don't youuuu looooveeee me???"

 

nope.

 

i'd never call his job and ask for him and when they said he's out to lunch, reply: oh, i'm here at the sugar sex shack and he hasn't come in yet.

 

nope.

 

i'd never make a flyer saying "your results are positive" and shove it under his windsheild wiper.

 

 

Oh crikey, that did make me laugh! ????

[13Hearts]

OMG Miss Clavel, this is hilarious!! I never thought about dog poop under the car door handles!! HAHAHAHAHA

I love this! You're a genius!

xoxoxo

 

i would never, ever advise anyone to seek revenge.

 

 

i'd never suggest smearing dog poop under his car door handles. i'd never go on social media and troll him by pretending to be a naive ex and poast comments like "baby pleassseeee, you promised. why don't youuuu looooveeee me???"

 

nope.

 

i'd never call his job and ask for him and when they said he's out to lunch, reply: oh, i'm here at the sugar sex shack and he hasn't come in yet.

 

nope.

 

i'd never make a flyer saying "your results are positive" and shove it under his windsheild wiper.