So Angry Right Now

[Shadowburn]

How are you feeling today, 13Hearts?

[Maggie888]

I agree you do have alot of responsibility here. Obviously this MM is a selfish liar who knows no boundaries and has no regard for your pain -- if he wants you he is going to keep trying and never respect your wishes or whats best for Ow despite claimimg to "love" OW.

 

So you send a cease and desist letter to him via personal service. If he then contacts you have official grounds for a rrstraining order or protective order. And of course change your emails, phone, social media etc. Whatever it takes. And then of course u also should never get to the point where u are close enough to a MM that he can do this to you.

 

Your anger is totally justified but I also agree OW must truly do everything they can to rid MM from their life and not leave the door cracked for these slimeballs to creep back in

[13Hearts]

Today was a GREAT day!! After I sat down and got serious, I did a lot of soul searching and really thought about all the things I did wrong in my affair with xMM, which helped me accept the blame for that psycho pursuing me and not leaving me alone (BAH HA HA, NOT), I spent the day with a good friend, doing yard work and helping my family. We had such a fun time! No way was I going to waste my time trying to figure out what I did wrong. Because I did NOTHING wrong. HE did.

 

Thanks for all the advice, though; I know you all mean well, but TBH, I was not suffering. I had a bit of pain in my heart because I DID believe his lies and his BS. And yes, I was angry, and it's completely understandable that I was. I got it out of my system by doing exactly what ShadowBurn suggested, and that was to turn that anger around and use it to my advantage. Chanting "I hate you" everytime the ***** popped into my head this morning was really useful and helped me get my day off to a great, happy start!

 

I also did a little reading of my George Simon book, In Sheep's Clothing, which really puts things into perspective. Sorry everyone but I still am not going to be accepting any blame for what occurred with xMM. That bastard has a character disorder, whether you want to accept that or not. And sorry, I am REAL, unlike him, and I deal in REALITY. I mean what I say and I say what I mean and I do not go around playing headgames with ANYONE. It's pretty screwed up that someone can be so screwed up.

 

Anyway, I hope you're not going around telling newbies here to accept half the blame for the situation they've gotten themselves into with some sicko narcissist who can't deal in reality or shoot straight. It's not good to mess with people like that, especially when their heads have been messed with enough already.

[Adoraxx]

I'm well aware what part I played. I am also well aware of EVERY SINGLE TIME I told him I did not want to be involved with a married man, and all the reasons why he would not leave his wife. I told him time and time again, on a regular basis, why this would not work. Look at all the reasons stated on posts here that people tell OW why MM don't leave and DOUBLE that, and you have all the conversations I tried to have with MM. What I am angry about is the fact that this "man" NEVER ONCE admitted to any of the reasons I gave, NEVER ONCE even took the opportunity to think about the reasons I gave, but instead argued with me that I was wrong and PURSUED ME HARDER.

 

What I am angry about is that this person continued this charade for YEARS. Well after I stopped the physical affair which only lasted until I realized this guy was not serious because I know what a real break-up looks like and he was not breaking anything off with her. He Told me his plan, wrote it down and showed me, made promises, FOR WHAT?? To waste my time?? This is YEARS of my life I have patiently waited, did my best to remove myself emotionally from an active, serious pursuer, and you're going to say I'm to blame? What more would you have liked me to do, short of going to his wife and telling her to keep him away from me, Knowing damn well that wouldn't work?

 

What more would you have liked me to do to eliminate the 50% you claim I am to blame for? You're talking about a "man" who interjected himself into my family, called my mother "Mom," and gave gifts to my family members. In what way am I at fault for this?

 

And what, pray tell, do you suggest I change to prevent this from happening again? Lock myself in my house, or fully cover my face and my body so that no male can ever see me again? Report the next MM who won't leave me alone to the police??

 

Wow Heart, this is SO MUCH what it has been like for me all these years. I told him so many times that I couldn't do it and he always ridiculed me for whatever I told him/ he got mad at me each and every time, and he has not once said that I was right about what I said. Hope you feel better soon Hugs, Adoraxx

[Adoraxx]

Today was a GREAT day!! After I sat down and got serious, I did a lot of soul searching and really thought about all the things I did wrong in my affair with xMM, which helped me accept the blame for that psycho pursuing me and not leaving me alone (BAH HA HA, NOT), I spent the day with a good friend, doing yard work and helping my family. We had such a fun time! No way was I going to waste my time trying to figure out what I did wrong. Because I did NOTHING wrong. HE did.

 

Thanks for all the advice, though; I know you all mean well, but TBH, I was not suffering. I had a bit of pain in my heart because I DID believe his lies and his BS. And yes, I was angry, and it's completely understandable that I was. I got it out of my system by doing exactly what ShadowBurn suggested, and that was to turn that anger around and use it to my advantage. Chanting "I hate you" everytime the ***** popped into my head this morning was really useful and helped me get my day off to a great, happy start!

 

I also did a little reading of my George Simon book, In Sheep's Clothing, which really puts things into perspective. Sorry everyone but I still am not going to be accepting any blame for what occurred with xMM. That bastard has a character disorder, whether you want to accept that or not. And sorry, I am REAL, unlike him, and I deal in REALITY. I mean what I say and I say what I mean and I do not go around playing headgames with ANYONE. It's pretty screwed up that someone can be so screwed up.

 

Anyway, I hope you're not going around telling newbies here to accept half the blame for the situation they've gotten themselves into with some sicko narcissist who can't deal in reality or shoot straight. It's not good to mess with people like that, especially when their heads have been messed with enough already.

 

MANY likes for this post, Heart!!!! I have read that book too and it's really good!

[Poppy47]

Hearts,

 

It is difficult to know when you meet somebody, exactly what they are capable of doing.

 

I know now and I am out of it.

 

Some people are truly f..... up from early years and they don't even acknowledge it.

 

Poppy.

[13Hearts]

Wow Heart, this is SO MUCH what it has been like for me all these years. I told him so many times that I couldn't do it and he always ridiculed me for whatever I told him/ he got mad at me each and every time, and he has not once said that I was right about what I said. Hope you feel better soon Hugs, Adoraxx

 

Weird. Men living their lives in complete denial of the truth. As if telling YOU you are wrong makes what he is doing right or OK.

 

Either that or they're just women-haters. IDK.

[13Hearts]

Hearts,

 

It is difficult to know when you meet somebody, exactly what they are capable of doing.

 

I know now and I am out of it.

 

Some people are truly f..... up from early years and they don't even acknowledge it.

 

Poppy.

 

Thanks, Poppy.

 

Here's the weird, and awful, thing. I didn't just all of a sudden meet xMM. He was a friend, I THOUGHT a good friend, for many years. When we first got together (in the A), it was just regular talk. He confided a lot in me and here I thought what he was telling me about his marriage being over, being separated and all of that, was the truth. We did get closer, emotionally, but I told him from the very beginning that I did not want an A kind of relationship. I wanted a companion, someone to do things with after work and on weekends. I was VERY CLEAR about what I wanted and didn't want.

 

But, as with every other relationship with a man that I have had worked out, HE DID NOT LISTEN and he did not care what I wanted. Men do not care what you want. They only care about what THEY want. Life will continue to bring you the same lesson over and over until you learn it. And I have learned it now. ME FIRST. MY needs and MY wants first, until it feels like I am super selfish and running a man over. It's the only way. And if a man does not give me what I want or need, I dump him and don't look back.

 

It's unfortunate that it has to be this way.

[heartwhole]

And what, pray tell, do you suggest I change to prevent this from happening again? Lock myself in my house, or fully cover my face and my body so that no male can ever see me again? Report the next MM who won't leave me alone to the police??

 

I feel like you're going down with the ship to avoid considering how you are responsible for consenting to this relationship. If this weren't an affair, but simply a regular relationship that was toxic, would you still insist that your participation in it was just something that happened to you because the other participant wouldn't go away, rather than something you chose?

 

As a mother of daughters, I am doing my best to teach them that no one deserves their time or their smile or their touch just because he wants it. My kindergartener had trouble with a frenemy who treated her terribly and then told her it wasn't OK for them to stop being friends. My daughter found this confusing as she is a people-pleaser, and she thought that if you say, "No," that's always enough. But sometimes it's not. Still, that doesn't mean we just let others abuse us. So we brainstormed all the ways to handle the frenemy's troublesome behavior.

 

You don't have to have it all figured out yet, or to see it all clearly, and your anger is good and healthy. But I would caution you against expending so much energy rationalizing your participation in something unhealthy. Maybe what you need to do right now is just table your own role in it for now, while you let the anger energize you and propel you to action. But later, I hope you can learn to be empowered in your relationships. I don't think the takeaway from your experience is not to trust or not to give, but to work on your ability to judge who is worthy of your trust and gifts.

[ChickiePops]

I feel like you're going down with the ship to avoid considering how you are responsible for consenting to this relationship. If this weren't an affair, but simply a regular relationship that was toxic, would you still insist that your participation in it was just something that happened to you because the other participant wouldn't go away, rather than something you chose?

 

As a mother of daughters, I am doing my best to teach them that no one deserves their time or their smile or their touch just because he wants it. My kindergartener had trouble with a frenemy who treated her terribly and then told her it wasn't OK for them to stop being friends. My daughter found this confusing as she is a people-pleaser, and she thought that if you say, "No," that's always enough. But sometimes it's not. Still, that doesn't mean we just let others abuse us. So we brainstormed all the ways to handle the frenemy's troublesome behavior.

 

You don't have to have it all figured out yet, or to see it all clearly, and your anger is good and healthy. But I would caution you against expending so much energy rationalizing your participation in something unhealthy. Maybe what you need to do right now is just table your own role in it for now, while you let the anger energize you and propel you to action. But later, I hope you can learn to be empowered in your relationships. I don't think the takeaway from your experience is not to trust or not to give, but to work on your ability to judge who is worthy of your trust and gifts.

 

YES! This was what I was trying to say, but Heartwhole said it much more eloquently than I did.

 

I promise I wasn't trying to be mean when I said that you need to take responsibility for your role. I meant that you should try to figure out why you ALLOWED yourself to be treated the way you were for so long. He did treat you poorly, nobody is denying that..but you kept coming back for more and more and more. That part equates to damage on YOUR side, not his. What you need to do is figure out where that damage came from and how you can begin to fix it so that you will not stick around long enough to be treated like garbage next time you enter into a relationship.

 

Does that make more sense?

[13Hearts]

I feel like you're going down with the ship to avoid considering how you are responsible for consenting to this relationship. If this weren't an affair, but simply a regular relationship that was toxic, would you still insist that your participation in it was just something that happened to you because the other participant wouldn't go away, rather than something you chose?

 

As a mother of daughters, I am doing my best to teach them that no one deserves their time or their smile or their touch just because he wants it. My kindergartener had trouble with a frenemy who treated her terribly and then told her it wasn't OK for them to stop being friends. My daughter found this confusing as she is a people-pleaser, and she thought that if you say, "No," that's always enough. But sometimes it's not. Still, that doesn't mean we just let others abuse us. So we brainstormed all the ways to handle the frenemy's troublesome behavior.

 

You don't have to have it all figured out yet, or to see it all clearly, and your anger is good and healthy. But I would caution you against expending so much energy rationalizing your participation in something unhealthy. Maybe what you need to do right now is just table your own role in it for now, while you let the anger energize you and propel you to action. But later, I hope you can learn to be empowered in your relationships. I don't think the takeaway from your experience is not to trust or not to give, but to work on your ability to judge who is worthy of your trust and gifts.

 

You know, it's funny you should say this because driving to work this morning I realized that I am not empowered in my relationships, as you say. I let people walk all over me, because I am a care-giver. I take care of everything. Whatever needs done, I just do it. And I let people live their lives the way they want to. If someone doesn't want to do a particular thing, it's not my business. Plus, I'm too busy with my life, my house, my job, and my family to argue with someone or try to convince someone, to do something they just don't want to do.

 

But I don't believe I am going down with any ship and I have taken responsibility for my part. I've acknowledged that. I should not have let this person into my life. But as I said, we were already friends, for many years, and it started as him confiding in me about his troubled relationship with his wife, and recent separation, etc. I believed him. But before I got involved with him romantically, I told him I did not want to be involved with a MM.

 

I do communicate very clearly what I want and what I don't want in relationships. How much more clearly do you think I could have said "I don't want to be your mistress, your OW, your concubine, your side piece, etc. That is not me and I have too much integrity to participate in a relationship like that. I am looking for a committed relationship where we spend our free time together after work and on weekends, and take vacations together."

 

I gave him sufficient time to get it together. I did my best to extricate myself from the entanglement, and gave him the time he said he needed to separate and divorce, as he told me time and again he was going to do. Not sure what else people think I should have done.

 

I don't really care that much about it anymore. I was hurt and angry when I finally understood from him that he was involved with his next OW. It just finally all came together and after reading so much here on LS, I realized what and who he REALLY is. A serial cheater and a serial liar.

 

Anyway, I'm well on my way to being over it. After my great day the other day, my heart is lifted and beginning to heal. My ship is sailing, not sinking. The best revenge is a life well-lived. And using his credit card to buy lots of stuff off the internet! HAHAHAHAHA

[13Hearts]

YES! This was what I was trying to say, but Heartwhole said it much more eloquently than I did.

 

I promise I wasn't trying to be mean when I said that you need to take responsibility for your role. I meant that you should try to figure out why you ALLOWED yourself to be treated the way you were for so long. He did treat you poorly, nobody is denying that..but you kept coming back for more and more and more. That part equates to damage on YOUR side, not his. What you need to do is figure out where that damage came from and how you can begin to fix it so that you will not stick around long enough to be treated like garbage next time you enter into a relationship.

 

Does that make more sense?

I understand. And yes, I agree. But please believe me when I say that I spent A LOT of time and effort explaining to this man that I did not want to be romantically involved with him, why I did not, why I knew he would not divorce his wife, what he should do in order to move on, etc. I never demanded that he leave her, never cried about it or begged him to leave, just talked, explained, and made suggestions. But he ignored everything I said, begged me, bought me stuff and had it delivered, came to my house unannounced, told me how much he loved me and was in love with me, etc.

 

I'm not suffering. I'm not really missing him. I don't need that kind of dysfunction and drama in my life; I am busy and want to spend my spare time doing fun things. Affairs w MM are not for me. He knew that going in. And you know what? I have had this problem before, in relationships that were not affairs. I TELL them what I want and need for my life and they make promises and assurances that they want the same things, and as I spend time with them I see they are not delivering on what they said they would deliver so I start to move further and further away from them. Men do not seem to understand that I say what I mean and I mean what I say. They seem to think that if they give me what THEY think I want, what they have to offer, that I will be happy. But it's just not true.

 

So, like I said earlier, I'm just not going to get involved with any more men until they show and prove that the way they live their life is in accordance with what I want and need in mine. It's that simple.

 

Thank you for your concern, and for trying to help.

[Maggie888]

Heres where my confusion comes in. You say over and over that you made it abundently clear to him you did not want to be an OW.

 

But before I got involved with him romantically, I told him I did not want to be involved with a MM.

 

Yet ultimately, you did. You made the choice to become involved with him romantically or at some point stopped resisting his advances and became romantically intimate with him, correct?

 

You cant tell people you dont what to be OW, but then with your actions participate in a situation as an OW, and then blame it on them when you chose to participate.

 

I think that is where people are coming from in terms of accepting personal responsibility. You cant blame it on other people when your actions and words didnt match. Ultimately people view your actions and not words. If you say I dont want this, but then walk right into it, they are going to assume deep down you really do want it.

 

Also:

 

 

as I said, we were already friends, for many years, and it started as him confiding in me about his troubled relationship with his wife, and recent separation, etc. I believed him.

 

Poor boundaries here. You never allow an opposite sex married friend start to confide in your about their marriage. You nip that in the bud. Well if you want to prevent toxic relationships from creeping into your life that is.

[heartwhole]

You said you are a fixer or people-pleaser or something of the sort, yes? I really want to toe the line between victim blaming and encouraging empowerment because of course, it is never OK for someone to violate your boundaries or treat you poorly. But I am also trying to figure out why this is your pattern. I am a very reserved woman who gives off the "don't f--- with me" vibe to men, so I have honestly never had this experience.

 

Though actually, once when we were abroad, my husband went to the bathroom and some skeevy old pervert sat down next to me on a park bench and started caressing my leg. I felt that getting up, fighting him, or yelling would all probably escalate things and possibly make it more dangerous for me, so I stared at him, gave him crazy eyes, and said, "Oooooh! I LIKE it when you touch me!" And the creep looked surprised and then ran away. That's just what I mean about empowerment. It would NOT have been my fault if I'd sat there frozen -- I did that when something similar happened when I was a child. It was never my fault. But I used my wits to gain the upper hand and I got rid of him.

 

You can't change the fact that there are unhealthy people who prey on others, but you can fine-tune your instincts so that you spot them before they become so close to you that you are susceptible to their manipulations. And you can throw social graces to the wind when it comes to sending the message that NO means no.

[S2B]

You know, it's funny you should say this because driving to work this morning I realized that I am not empowered in my relationships, as you say. I let people walk all over me, because I am a care-giver. I take care of everything. Whatever needs done, I just do it. And I let people live their lives the way they want to. If someone doesn't want to do a particular thing, it's not my business. Plus, I'm too busy with my life, my house, my job, and my family to argue with someone or try to convince someone, to do something they just don't want to do.

 

But I don't believe I am going down with any ship and I have taken responsibility for my part. I've acknowledged that. I should not have let this person into my life. But as I said, we were already friends, for many years, and it started as him confiding in me about his troubled relationship with his wife, and recent separation, etc. I believed him. But before I got involved with him romantically, I told him I did not want to be involved with a MM.

 

I do communicate very clearly what I want and what I don't want in relationships. How much more clearly do you think I could have said "I don't want to be your mistress, your OW, your concubine, your side piece, etc. That is not me and I have too much integrity to participate in a relationship like that. I am looking for a committed relationship where we spend our free time together after work and on weekends, and take vacations together."

 

I gave him sufficient time to get it together. I did my best to extricate myself from the entanglement, and gave him the time he said he needed to separate and divorce, as he told me time and again he was going to do. Not sure what else people think I should have done.

 

I don't really care that much about it anymore. I was hurt and angry when I finally understood from him that he was involved with his next OW. It just finally all came together and after reading so much here on LS, I realized what and who he REALLY is. A serial cheater and a serial liar.

 

Anyway, I'm well on my way to being over it. After my great day the other day, my heart is lifted and beginning to heal. My ship is sailing, not sinking. The best revenge is a life well-lived. And using his credit card to buy lots of stuff off the internet! HAHAHAHAHA

 

So whenever any man starts telling you about his marriage and downfalls - simply say "tell that to your wife - she is the one who can change that situation with you".

 

Anything less and you're just gossiping about someone else.

 

I hope you will start taking care of yourself first - and empowering yourself as a strong woman of courage.

[pooldog]

It is simply a big attraction for you and "wishful thinking" on his part. I liken it to a boy with a ferrari. He oodles over it. But he can't "buy" it. It is so good you enjoyed what you had but now you are wise about what you need and what this is all about.

 

How are you today?

 

I don't know why but over the last couple of days I have felt like such an idiot. I actually BELIEVED everything xMM told me about us, how much he was in love with me, all the flattery and good things about me which really boosted my self-image after going through a break-up a year or so before we hooked up, how compatible we are, how we were going to live our lives together, do all these things together, where we were going to live, all of it. I also believed everything he said about how he and his wife had no life together, did nothing together, just shared the same house, that they were separated, how he told her he wanted a divorce and they stopped marriage counseling. And I know now that it was all complete BS. Every single bit of it.

 

Add to that, texting yesterday he confirmed what I already knew which is that he is involved with another OW, having sex with her now, sneaking around during the day when he's supposed to be at lunch or on a work appointment out of the office.

 

All of it makes me feel like a worthless piece of $hit. If he pulled up in front of my house right now I would throw big rocks at his car.

[ladydesigner]

You know, it's funny you should say this because driving to work this morning I realized that I am not empowered in my relationships, as you say. I let people walk all over me, because I am a care-giver. I take care of everything. Whatever needs done, I just do it. And I let people live their lives the way they want to. If someone doesn't want to do a particular thing, it's not my business. Plus, I'm too busy with my life, my house, my job, and my family to argue with someone or try to convince someone, to do something they just don't want to do.

 

But I don't believe I am going down with any ship and I have taken responsibility for my part. I've acknowledged that. I should not have let this person into my life. But as I said, we were already friends, for many years, and it started as him confiding in me about his troubled relationship with his wife, and recent separation, etc. I believed him. But before I got involved with him romantically, I told him I did not want to be involved with a MM.

 

I do communicate very clearly what I want and what I don't want in relationships. How much more clearly do you think I could have said "I don't want to be your mistress, your OW, your concubine, your side piece, etc. That is not me and I have too much integrity to participate in a relationship like that. I am looking for a committed relationship where we spend our free time together after work and on weekends, and take vacations together."

 

I gave him sufficient time to get it together. I did my best to extricate myself from the entanglement, and gave him the time he said he needed to separate and divorce, as he told me time and again he was going to do. Not sure what else people think I should have done.

 

I don't really care that much about it anymore. I was hurt and angry when I finally understood from him that he was involved with his next OW. It just finally all came together and after reading so much here on LS, I realized what and who he REALLY is. A serial cheater and a serial liar.

 

Anyway, I'm well on my way to being over it. After my great day the other day, my heart is lifted and beginning to heal. My ship is sailing, not sinking. The best revenge is a life well-lived. And using his credit card to buy lots of stuff off the internet! HAHAHAHAHA

 

Yes this is me to a default I so understand what you mean! Time to put YOU in that #1 spot 13Hearts!

[13Hearts]

Putting me as #1, more and more is looking like not getting involved with anymore men. It's like they need to always be #1, and I just don't want to deal with people who are that needy and demanding.

[13Hearts]

Yep. I know. I guess what I was trying to say was that these lies and manipulation may not always be calculated or even deliberate. I certainly never realised I was doing any of those things, and I don't ever recall deliberately saying things to keep her close. In fact a few months ago I said I was toxic to her... But that didn't change the way I felt about her.

 

Addiction, come to think of it, is such an apt description.

 

Anyway, less about me. It is disappointing and you can obviously see past it all. I think your head and heart is heading in the right direction. And as MKD says, often the darkest moments can be illuminating.

 

Maybe you're right, NSS. Maybe it was not deliberate or calculated. But I think he knew going in that he would never be able to leave her, or get divorced. Maybe he gave me what he could and hoped I would feel that was enough.

 

But it wasn't. And I told him so many times.

 

What a mess.

[S2B]

Putting me as #1, more and more is looking like not getting involved with anymore men. It's like they need to always be #1, and I just don't want to deal with people who are that needy and demanding.

 

I hope you won't feel that all men are like the MM. There are many kind and loving and giving men in the world.

 

Now you know when an attached man talks of personal things he's looking to build intimacy with you - and you should run.

 

But date available men - be sure they are, indeed single.

 

Have fun with generous and kind men.

[ladydesigner]

Putting me as #1, more and more is looking like not getting involved with anymore men. It's like they need to always be #1, and I just don't want to deal with people who are that needy and demanding.

 

I feel EXACTLY like this too. Don't want to feel like this towards men or WH, but it is what it is. I haven't met a man yet that hasn't shown me how selfish they could be (sorry to generalize to all you GOOD men out there )

[ladydesigner]

Putting me as #1, more and more is looking like not getting involved with anymore men. It's like they need to always be #1, and I just don't want to deal with people who are that needy and demanding.

 

Or just don't give them that #1 spot

[13Hearts]

I feel EXACTLY like this too. Don't want to feel like this towards men or WH, but it is what it is. I haven't met a man yet that hasn't shown me how selfish they could be (sorry to generalize to all you GOOD men out there )

 

I agree, they are selfish. And I don't mean this as an insult believe it or not. I have several brothers, and many friends and other family, who are men. I probably know more men than women. And they're selfish. I don't think they necessarily mean to be or even know how selfish they are. Some of my male friends have told me it's just how they are and that they have to force themselves to think of others, including their wives and children, first.

 

I don't have the patience to deal with that sort of thing. I'd rather be first in my world, alone, than last in someone else's.

[BuddyX]

First of all I have no respect for cheaters. But just because you are selfish it does not make you a bad person. If a man puts in 80 hours a week at work to provide for his family, it does not make him a jerk. Selfish? Yes. Provider? Definitely.

The world is littered with individuals who put their social life on hold to be successful. And I don't blame them one bit.

[]

Edited July 2, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[13Hearts]

I don't think a person working 80 hours a week to support their family is selfish. But I also don't think you want me to start listing what men do that is selfish. If you listen to women talk about their relationships, you will know what some of those things are and you don't need to hear it from me.

 

I was an OW. But I entered the relationship with xMM because he misrepresented himself and his situation to me. I didn't consider myself an OW at all.

[]

Edited July 2, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed full quote of immeditely preceding and edited quote