katiegrl Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 Don't agree. He could be super Into her but thinking she's playing games( hot and cold) so decided to drop her . He may not know she's just been "waiting" he probably thinks she's been manipulating. Just because a guy really likes a girl doesn't mean he will be a doormat for her once he thinks the girl is playing games True too........ Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 Just because a guy really likes a girl doesn't mean he will be a doormat for her once he thinks the girl is playing gamesThis is true, for me at least. I was into (not "super into") her on date one, less on date two, even less on date three, and so forth. When you add another woman who is putting in effort to the mix, it makes the choice to drop the first woman even easier. Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 I still think that could change though if you met that woman who truly knocked your socks off.... when you least expected it!I'm not one to say "it will never happen". If it does happen though, I hope my brain will be able to keep my heart and other parts in check. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sarah2015 Posted June 6, 2016 Author Share Posted June 6, 2016 So an update! I should probably disclose that when he asked me out previously, I didn't accept RIGHT away either. Waited to reply or didn't attempt to keep convo going for a day or two. Not that I'm trying to play games but I guess I'm not totally into him yet. Anyhow, after ME asking him out for the 5th, he responded yes somewhat soon but when asked on the day/time, a two day delay on what day he is free (with a good morning etc) NOW: since I asked him out and he responded that he is free on Day X, would it be callous of me to just ignore from this point forward? My gut feeling tells me he is only in it for the you-know-what in the long run. He already firmly knows I'm not one to just sleep around. Let me know your thoughts? Thanks:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sarah2015 Posted June 7, 2016 Author Share Posted June 7, 2016 Any thoughts...? I ignored for the whole day and he asked if I was okay, to which I replied I was and he asked how my day was etc... Should I still cancel the date? Link to post Share on other sites
frus69 Posted June 7, 2016 Share Posted June 7, 2016 Too much hot and cold/wishy washy from your end. You aren't intentionally playing games but it sure gives out the player vibe. If he was 100% interested, it's probably 40% now. Do you like him or not? Do you want him or not? Doesn't sound like it. If it's lukewarm probably just drop it and move on, no need to waste his, and yours time. If you actually want him a lot then stop the silly games from now on and go out with him, be consistent 1 Link to post Share on other sites
honest_lover Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 I'm a guy in late 30s and am in almost identical situation. I doubt she'll call me out for the 5th date. I asked her out last weekend. She declined saying work and friends etc. Fine. Since I'm quite into her I'll go ahead and pursue, but frankly from a guy's POV all I expect from a girl when in this situation is where do we stand and where are we headed. In your case you could openly communicate that you're the type who does'nt fall in love within a couple of dates, and that you do think this is promising and would like to meet more to see if the attraction grows. It's amazing how little girls and guys think from each other's POV leading to fundamental misunderstandings. Another time I just sent an email to the girl asking her the same questions. From the vague ramblings I got it was clear she was'nt into me. I cut my losses and ran. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 So an update! I should probably disclose that when he asked me out previously, I didn't accept RIGHT away either. Waited to reply or didn't attempt to keep convo going for a day or two. Not that I'm trying to play games but I guess I'm not totally into him yet. Anyhow, after ME asking him out for the 5th, he responded yes somewhat soon but when asked on the day/time, a two day delay on what day he is free (with a good morning etc) NOW: since I asked him out and he responded that he is free on Day X, would it be callous of me to just ignore from this point forward? My gut feeling tells me he is only in it for the you-know-what in the long run. He already firmly knows I'm not one to just sleep around. Let me know your thoughts? Thanks:) Most guys by date 5 are looking for you-know-what. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
YourCupOfTea Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 (edited) If you want to go on a date with him, aks him and go. If you don't want to date him, then don't. I'm the person that thinks it's perfectly fine for a woman to ask a guy out, even on the first date. If a guy likes you he is not going to be turned off by you asking him! If he is turned off he probably didn't like you to begin with and its better to know now then later. Of course it can be a bit scary, and I find it scary too sometimes, but usually it goes well when I do it. Of course this is just my way of thinking. Maybe it depends on what your idea's are on dating and what you want in a guy. If you are a bit old fashioned when it comes to relationships, and want a guy who thinks the same way, then maybe it's the right way to approach dating like that; a man should take the initiative and pay and stuff like that. But if you like men who are maybe a bit less conservatieve in that matter and more about emancipation, act that way and the guy who matches you in that sense will find you. It depends on what you want, I guess. And I read here that you are not sure if you are liking him. Is this because you are making assumptions about his motives? And think he just wants sex? If you don't want sex, don't have sex. You are your own person, and need to beware of your own boundaries. You don't have to judge a person for wanting to have sex. (if that is the case here) Just react as you would like to be treated in that sense, by doing it or not doing it. Do what you want and don't try to look into his head, you can't. Nobody but him knows what he is looking for. And there is nothing wrong with saying what you want and need, as long as you do it in a subtile and relaxed or non-judging way. Edited June 9, 2016 by YourCupOfTea Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 Most guys by date 5 are looking for you-know-what. Just because they are looking doesn't mean you have to give it... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 Just because they are looking doesn't mean you have to give it... True. <<<<<<<<<<<<<< Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 Any thoughts...? I ignored for the whole day and he asked if I was okay, to which I replied I was and he asked how my day was etc... Should I still cancel the date? I'm confused. He told you he was free a certain day, and that's when you go silent? Please explain your logic there. You're upset that he didn't respond right away? Do you want to go out with him or not? He's doing what you did to him, and suddenly it's problematic. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cinnamonstix Posted June 9, 2016 Share Posted June 9, 2016 So an update! I should probably disclose that when he asked me out previously, I didn't accept RIGHT away either. Waited to reply or didn't attempt to keep convo going for a day or two. Not that I'm trying to play games but I guess I'm not totally into him yet. Anyhow, after ME asking him out for the 5th, he responded yes somewhat soon but when asked on the day/time, a two day delay on what day he is free (with a good morning etc) NOW: since I asked him out and he responded that he is free on Day X, would it be callous of me to just ignore from this point forward? My gut feeling tells me he is only in it for the you-know-what in the long run. He already firmly knows I'm not one to just sleep around. Let me know your thoughts? Thanks:) If a guy took two days to respond to me, I would take it as low interest and it would make me lose interest. So I personally wouldn't go on the date. Link to post Share on other sites
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