I’m addicted to cheating on my wife [updated 2016-06-14]

[elaine567]

I don't think I'm ready to quit.

 

The thought of not having sex causes me a lot of anxiety and panic. I went to work for a few days because it was mandatory and I'm supposed to go home tonight, then treatment. I don't want to go home or treatment.

 

My wife is going to hound me for details. She said if I slept with another woman this time she would be done. I know she is lying so I did it anyway. If screwing 30 women doesn't make her want a divorce then doing a 'regular' isn't going to either. I went bareback each time which is something I have never done. I was genuinely angry at my wife for wanting to hold me back and being a stuck up lady-dog, and now I want to f*ck her even though I haven't really wanted to in a long time.

 

Part of me knows my wife would have a hard time finding a different man. Who wants to deal with a 31-year-old divorcee with (soon to be) 4 young kids. She hasn't asked for a divorce yet because she knows this. And god forbid she has to stick a 'divorcee' and 'single mom' label to herself. Everything she does is a show. Probably banging other guys on the side. If we weren't different ethnicities I'd doubt my kids were even mine.

 

I've already sunk this far. What is the point in stopping now.

 

As I suspected you are very angry with your wife for some reason, you told her about your affairs to punish her.

Please do not continue with this sham marriage any longer.

Go and see other women to your heart's content and try to be the best dad you can be, but this marriage cannot be fixed.

[wmacbride]

I don't think I'm ready to quit.

 

The thought of not having sex causes me a lot of anxiety and panic. I went to work for a few days because it was mandatory and I'm supposed to go home tonight, then treatment. I don't want to go home or treatment.

 

My wife is going to hound me for details. She said if I slept with another woman this time she would be done. I know she is lying so I did it anyway. If screwing 30 women doesn't make her want a divorce then doing a 'regular' isn't going to either. I went bareback each time which is something I have never done. I was genuinely angry at my wife for wanting to hold me back and being a stuck up lady-dog, and now I want to f*ck her even though I haven't really wanted to in a long time.

 

Part of me knows my wife would have a hard time finding a different man. Who wants to deal with a 31-year-old divorcee with (soon to be) 4 young kids. She hasn't asked for a divorce yet because she knows this. And god forbid she has to stick a 'divorcee' and 'single mom' label to herself. Everything she does is a show. Probably banging other guys on the side. If we weren't different ethnicities I'd doubt my kids were even mine.

 

I've already sunk this far. What is the point in stopping now.

 

I have a response to your post that will probably get me banned, but your attitude is so cr@ppy, it just might be worth it.

 

How dare you try and make this sound as if your wife is responsible for your behavior, and how dare you make snide remarks about her after what you have done.

 

You can't keep your male anatomy in your pants for five minutes, and that is on YOU, not on you wife. you have even admitted to screwing around on every one else you have ever been with, aside of ne woman, and you even slept with two women on your wedding night.

 

That is not your wife dong that, it's YOU.

 

All of a sudden, now that you have to take responsibility you question whether your kids are yours try and project your behavior onto your wife, and will likely try and blame her when it all falls apart.

 

It really sounds like it's gone well beyond it being about sex and it's more about anger, power and revenge.

 

 

You remind me of the old

ad that used to be on. You won't be satisfied until you have destroyed as many lives as you can, and then, when it's all in pieces around you, you'll whine that you've been left all alone and no one stood by you.

 

You, sir, are damned friggin; lucky you've got a wife who is willing to put up with your piss poor behavior. Most wouldn't. I had hoped that you were a guy who had gotten caught up in something and wanted help before he hurt everyone around him, but I was so wrong. I think you want them to hurt because you get off on feeling the sense of power, like you are a puppeteer pulling strings.

 

And just so you know, there are PLENTY of MEN out there who would love to stand by your wife's side and be a real father to her four kids. Why don't you let her go so she can find one, while you can go and sleep with anyone with a pulse?

 

I know I sound rude and angry, but I'm really hoping that, deep down, you are still the good guy who's just got a major problem to deal with, and now you are scared and lashing out. If you are, please stop If you really are the man you make yourself out to be in this post, please let your wife go. she deserves better than this.

[LivingWaterPlease]

OP, I write this with kindness and sympathy toward you because I believe you are held in chains of sexual aggression which manifest as sexual addiction and that you truly want to be freed.

 

There is nothing man or woman has to offer you that will free you and heal you. No amount of counseling has the power to heal what has been done to you and what you have subsequently done to yourself to try to deal with your demons.

 

Has anything anyone has written here proved to be an answer for you? Have you found any help anywhere else for your problem?

 

There is an answer for you, my friend. Your answer can be found in God. He definitely can heal you and is the only help available to you. But you will probably ignore this post since you ignored my post earlier on about God and have ignored another posted who made a brief suggestion of Him.

 

You aren't flat on your back yet. But, when you finally are remember my words,

 

God can help you and He will have mercy on you. Turn to Him and allow Him to heal you and lead you into a life of freedom and healthy living.

[BettyDraper]

I don't think I'm ready to quit.

 

The thought of not having sex causes me a lot of anxiety and panic. I went to work for a few days because it was mandatory and I'm supposed to go home tonight, then treatment. I don't want to go home or treatment.

 

My wife is going to hound me for details. She said if I slept with another woman this time she would be done. I know she is lying so I did it anyway. If screwing 30 women doesn't make her want a divorce then doing a 'regular' isn't going to either. I went bareback each time which is something I have never done. I was genuinely angry at my wife for wanting to hold me back and being a stuck up lady-dog, and now I want to f*ck her even though I haven't really wanted to in a long time.

 

Part of me knows my wife would have a hard time finding a different man. Who wants to deal with a 31-year-old divorcee with (soon to be) 4 young kids. She hasn't asked for a divorce yet because she knows this. And god forbid she has to stick a 'divorcee' and 'single mom' label to herself. Everything she does is a show. Probably banging other guys on the side. If we weren't different ethnicities I'd doubt my kids were even mine.

 

I've already sunk this far. What is the point in stopping now.

 

WTF?

 

I thought your wife was this perfect Madonna who only slept with you her whole life. Now just because you can't keep the vows you have made to her, you're trying to make her into the villain and projecting your infidelity onto her. This is ridiculous and immature. You have no right to call your wife names after everything you have done.

 

It's obvious that you only think of yourself and your dick. You don't deserve your wife so kindly refrain from trying to justify your reprehensible BS by taking shots at her. I thought there was a chance for redemption after you were honest about your infidelities and you were willing to go to counseling and treatment to save your marriage. Now I see that you have no intention of becoming a better man for yourself, your wife and your children. Just remember that we all eventually receive what we put into the world. You will pay for your actions someday...the question is when. Maybe you'll finally stop once you catch a disease or your kids find out about your actions and cut you out of their lives.

 

You are a deeply disturbed man who hates women because of your ex. How tragic that your wife is the one who has to bear the fallout due to your untreated mental illness.

[wmacbride]

OP, I write this with kindness and sympathy toward you because I believe you are held in chains of sexual aggression which manifest as sexual addiction and that you truly want to be freed.

 

There is nothing man or woman has to offer you that will free you and heal you. No amount of counseling has the power to heal what has been done to you and what you have subsequently done to yourself to try to deal with your demons.

 

Has anything anyone has written here proved to be an answer for you? Have you found any help anywhere else for your problem?

 

There is an answer for you, my friend. Your answer can be found in God. He definitely can heal you and is the only help available to you. But you will probably ignore this post since you ignored my post earlier on about God and have ignored another posted who made a brief suggestion of Him.

 

You aren't flat on your back yet. But, when you finally are remember my words,

 

God can help you and He will have mercy on you. Turn to Him and allow Him to heal you and lead you into a life of freedom and healthy living.

 

Not being a religious person, I can't speak to much of what you write, except from what i understand, one of the founding pillars of the christian faith is the idea of free will and needing to ask fo help and forgiveness when one is truly at a point when they are ready for it.

 

I don't think the op is there yet.

[LivingWaterPlease]

Not being a religious person, I can't speak to much of what you write, except from what i understand, one of the founding pillars of the christian faith is the idea of free will and needing to ask fo help and forgiveness when one is truly at a point when they are ready for it.

 

I don't think the op is there yet.

 

Yes, wmacbride, we are all free to choose God or not, He forces no one.

 

But many are those who have, when flat on their backs, received mercy and grace and have been healed and restored to a healthy life after having destroyed practically everything noble about themselves through addiction.

 

And, again yes, wmacbride, I don't think the op is there yet, either. But, he will be. Mark my words, he will be. He is traveling a pathway to total destruction and he knows it, hence his post here.

 

But, until he is flat on his back, he will resist his only hope. It is my prayer that at that time He will allow the God who loves him to finally help him.

 

Sadly, by that time he will most likely have lost his wife and children. But, it will be worth it not to have lost himself forever and to have the last few years of his life that remain for healthy living.

[ChocolateRain]

I don't think I'm ready to quit.

 

The thought of not having sex causes me a lot of anxiety and panic. I went to work for a few days because it was mandatory and I'm supposed to go home tonight, then treatment. I don't want to go home or treatment.

 

My wife is going to hound me for details. She said if I slept with another woman this time she would be done. I know she is lying so I did it anyway. If screwing 30 women doesn't make her want a divorce then doing a 'regular' isn't going to either. I went bareback each time which is something I have never done. I was genuinely angry at my wife for wanting to hold me back and being a stuck up lady-dog, and now I want to f*ck her even though I haven't really wanted to in a long time.

 

Part of me knows my wife would have a hard time finding a different man. Who wants to deal with a 31-year-old divorcee with (soon to be) 4 young kids. She hasn't asked for a divorce yet because she knows this. And god forbid she has to stick a 'divorcee' and 'single mom' label to herself. Everything she does is a show. Probably banging other guys on the side. If we weren't different ethnicities I'd doubt my kids were even mine.

 

I've already sunk this far. What is the point in stopping now.

 

Either you are just a cold -hearted ( fill in the Blanks ) ... or you are just a troll seeking attention - i doubt someone could be that messed up then again if you are ??? ............... Karma Baby ........ seriously

 

This is one messed up human being ...

Edited June 18, 2016 by ChocolateRain
ETA

[BettyDraper]

Yes, wmacbride, we are all free to choose God or not, He forces no one.

 

But many are those who have, when flat on their backs, received mercy and grace and have been healed and restored to a healthy life after having destroyed practically everything noble about themselves through addiction.

 

And, again yes, wmacbride, I don't think the op is there yet, either. But, he will be. Mark my words, he will be. He is traveling a pathway to total destruction and he knows it, hence his post here.

 

But, until he is flat on his back, he will resist his only hope. It is my prayer that at that time He will allow the God who loves him to finally help him.

 

Sadly, by that time he will most likely have lost his wife and children. But, it will be worth it not to have lost himself forever and to have the last few years of his life that remain for healthy living.

 

I agree that the OP has not hit rock bottom yet. That's why he's so arrogant and merciless towards his wife.

 

Your advice is great except that not everyone believes in God so your words may not resonate with them.

I believe in God and I pray but I also realize that some people may not embrace the same spiritual path.

[66Charger]

I don't think I'm ready to quit.

 

The thought of not having sex causes me a lot of anxiety and panic. I went to work for a few days because it was mandatory and I'm supposed to go home tonight, then treatment. I don't want to go home or treatment.

 

My wife is going to hound me for details. She said if I slept with another woman this time she would be done. I know she is lying so I did it anyway. If screwing 30 women doesn't make her want a divorce then doing a 'regular' isn't going to either. I went bareback each time which is something I have never done. I was genuinely angry at my wife for wanting to hold me back and being a stuck up lady-dog, and now I want to f*ck her even though I haven't really wanted to in a long time.

 

Part of me knows my wife would have a hard time finding a different man. Who wants to deal with a 31-year-old divorcee with (soon to be) 4 young kids. She hasn't asked for a divorce yet because she knows this. And god forbid she has to stick a 'divorcee' and 'single mom' label to herself. Everything she does is a show. Probably banging other guys on the side. If we weren't different ethnicities I'd doubt my kids were even mine.

 

I've already sunk this far. What is the point in stopping now.

 

There is only one lady dog in this picture and that is you. A divorcee and single mom is a much better label than the one you bear.

 

A unworthy pig.

 

You think she cant find another? Put it to the test , brother. Divorce her. Lets see what you got. You talk so tough, lets see you walk it. Tell her. Today. But before you bareback f her and spread your diseases.

 

I hope she aborts that child and you with it.

 

You need to look in the mirror. What you will see is nothing, because thats what you are.

Edited June 18, 2016 by 66Charger

[LivingWaterPlease]

I agree that the OP has not hit rock bottom yet. That's why he's so arrogant and merciless towards his wife.

 

Your advice is great except that not everyone believes in God so your words may not resonate with them.

I believe in God and I pray but I also realize that some people may not embrace the same spiritual path.

 

Yes, I know that not all people choose to believe in God and that my words may not resonate with OP (and even with others on LS). However, that is not a reason to withhold truth from him that may set him free.

 

Even if he doesn't believe in God, the Holy Spirit will continue to work on his heart as he is prayed for (and I have prayed for him over the past days that he has been posting) and he may one day accept God and find a life of freedom because of God's work in his life which will consist of far more than my relatively small post.

 

God has begun a work for this man that will continue until prayers for him have ceased. There are many who've posted on LS that I continue to pray for and I believe God's work in their lives is ongoing, though I will most likely never see the results of it on this earth.

 

It is not about me and what I get to see happen in the lives of others irl or in threads on LS. It is about God and His desire to pour His amazing love that leads to freedom on every person He has created. That is the sole reason I write words about Him to those on LS seeking help, though many who read the words may think the effort naive or foolish.

Edited June 18, 2016 by LivingWaterPlease

[Sabella]

I don't think I'm ready to quit.

 

The thought of not having sex causes me a lot of anxiety and panic. I went to work for a few days because it was mandatory and I'm supposed to go home tonight, then treatment. I don't want to go home or treatment.

 

My wife is going to hound me for details. She said if I slept with another woman this time she would be done. I know she is lying so I did it anyway. If screwing 30 women doesn't make her want a divorce then doing a 'regular' isn't going to either. I went bareback each time which is something I have never done. I was genuinely angry at my wife for wanting to hold me back and being a stuck up lady-dog, and now I want to f*ck her even though I haven't really wanted to in a long time.

 

Part of me knows my wife would have a hard time finding a different man. Who wants to deal with a 31-year-old divorcee with (soon to be) 4 young kids. She hasn't asked for a divorce yet because she knows this. And god forbid she has to stick a 'divorcee' and 'single mom' label to herself. Everything she does is a show. Probably banging other guys on the side. If we weren't different ethnicities I'd doubt my kids were even mine.

 

I've already sunk this far. What is the point in stopping now.

 

Just wow. There is a seething, visciousnes in your last post. I don't believe you are a sex addict, I do think you may be a sociopath though. Get help.

 

Your wife will have no issues finding a better man after your divorice, don't kid yourself.

 

I have to permanantly walk away from this thread now, it's a waste of energy to even discuss this anymore. I'm sad for your wife though and I wish her luck.

[Moxie Lady]

Ah, my first ten characters post

Edited June 18, 2016 by Moxie Lady

[66Charger]

10 characters

Edited June 19, 2016 by 66Charger

[karena70]

I don't think I'm ready to quit.

 

The thought of not having sex causes me a lot of anxiety and panic. I went to work for a few days because it was mandatory and I'm supposed to go home tonight, then treatment. I don't want to go home or treatment.

 

My wife is going to hound me for details. She said if I slept with another woman this time she would be done. I know she is lying so I did it anyway. If screwing 30 women doesn't make her want a divorce then doing a 'regular' isn't going to either. I went bareback each time which is something I have never done. I was genuinely angry at my wife for wanting to hold me back and being a stuck up lady-dog, and now I want to f*ck her even though I haven't really wanted to in a long time.

 

Part of me knows my wife would have a hard time finding a different man. Who wants to deal with a 31-year-old divorcee with (soon to be) 4 young kids. She hasn't asked for a divorce yet because she knows this. And god forbid she has to stick a 'divorcee' and 'single mom' label to herself. Everything she does is a show. Probably banging other guys on the side. If we weren't different ethnicities I'd doubt my kids were even mine.

 

I've already sunk this far. What is the point in stopping now.

 

THIS. This is your true character. It has been all along.

 

Now that you have accepted who you are, then I really do think the best thing you can do is take the initiate and leave your wife. And be sure to tell your children exactly why.

[Onlywhenitrains]

i don't think i'm ready to quit.

 

The thought of not having sex causes me a lot of anxiety and panic. I went to work for a few days because it was mandatory and i'm supposed to go home tonight, then treatment. I don't want to go home or treatment.

 

My wife is going to hound me for details. She said if i slept with another woman this time she would be done. I know she is lying so i did it anyway. If screwing 30 women doesn't make her want a divorce then doing a 'regular' isn't going to either. I went bareback each time which is something i have never done. I was genuinely angry at my wife for wanting to hold me back and being a stuck up lady-dog, and now i want to f*ck her even though i haven't really wanted to in a long time.

 

Part of me knows my wife would have a hard time finding a different man. Who wants to deal with a 31-year-old divorcee with (soon to be) 4 young kids. She hasn't asked for a divorce yet because she knows this. And god forbid she has to stick a 'divorcee' and 'single mom' label to herself. Everything she does is a show. Probably banging other guys on the side. If we weren't different ethnicities i'd doubt my kids were even mine.

 

I've already sunk this far. What is the point in stopping now.

 

wow!! Just wow!!!