Author stillyoung Posted May 19, 2016 Author Share Posted May 19, 2016 Well the "Dad" behavior is quite good, it's the "husband" behavior that's where I'm having issues. He is very helpful with the kids, and sometimes takes them places, does sports with them, even sat on the driveway drawing with chalk. He wants to go to all their events, and even helps them with chores when they were fussy about it, so it's not only the fun stuff. He made a big difference in discipline, that's one of the good things I am reluctant to lose. I think I struggle in deciding what qualities would make a good husband/marriage. Many of my friends have long term marriages (15+ yrs), and seem relatively happy, but one endured an affair, one is dealing with alcoholism, one deals with major anger issues, one spends all the time watching sports. (the women have their issues too, one refuses intimacy- which I think is horrible, another does her own version of the silent treatment, etc.) But my BF doesn't drink, spends weekends with us (not sports or the guys), is very clean and organized, is not materialistic, is a loyal friend. I guess I will just have to put my foot down on the pouting and see what happens. Thanks for your feedback. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted May 19, 2016 Share Posted May 19, 2016 I guess I will just have to put my foot down on the pouting and see what happens. Thanks for your feedback. Rather than "putting your foot down", a better response would be to ignore it. If he keeps doing it, he is getting some kind of payoff for doing it. (You asking if he is ok, trying to make him happy, apologizing, etc.) Instead, if you do something he doesn't like and he starts acting pouty, just ignore it. Keep being kind to him and sweet. Keep being happy. If he brings up that he is upset, listen to him. But don't let his sulking make you sulky too. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted May 19, 2016 Share Posted May 19, 2016 (edited) Children often come first and not everyone can handle that. This is the reason I will never date another man with children if I find myself single again. They usually have no time to nurture a relationship because of the demands of parenting. I am also childfree so I don't want to deal with someone else's child(ren). Your boyfriend can communicate his desires in a more mature and healthy way but it sounds like your life is too busy for him. Since he has such great qualities, if this man is husband material the two of you will have to work on more effective communication as well as prioritizing time for each other. Failing that, it could make sense to stick to single dads when you're looking for a partner. Edited May 19, 2016 by BettyDraper Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts