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He might bring a friend along on our date.... what does this mean? [updated]

venusinlibra

By venusinlibra
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venusinlibra Established Member

venusinlibra

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He was super-religious until a few years ago, hence the long virginity. But I agree, it's hard to avoid relationships in your teens and 20s.

 

Omg, I'm on the boat now, and he told his buddy that the ex girlfriend caught genital warts from her ex husband. Which means this guy must have it too. I never was so worried about stds but I guess my gut was right on this one.......

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

Posted
Posted
He was super-religious until a few years ago, hence the long virginity. But I agree, it's hard to avoid relationships in your teens and 20s.

 

Omg, I'm on the boat now, and he told his buddy that the ex girlfriend caught genital warts from her ex husband. Which means this guy must have it too. I never was so worried about stds but I guess my gut was right on this one.......

So he was super-religious but isn't anymore? He tells you this and that... I just don't think he has a strong self identity or at least seems he isn't very stable.

 

and who has conversations like that so casually? :eek: freak

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kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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It just doesn't sound good to me. I hope things turn out well for you on this excursion.

Shanex Established Member

Shanex

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A woman once did that to me, I was feeling sort of forced to agree to meet up but I wasn't content with another friend of her along the date. I need a one to one conversation, not some friend of her I don't know yet listening to our dialogue.

 

There are two main reasons for that :

 

-Being afraid of encountering a creep or a psycho, then yes it's better not to go alone. Or else set up the date in a crowded places or bars, if that's reassuring.

 

-Probably the friend coming to the date too will make a ''review'' of her friends date...'what did you think of him"? 'Cute, smart, funny?

 

I think it's more the younger people who prefer such dates, not those above 30. As adults we can meet one to one without having to bring the 'filler' bud who is most likely useless anyway.

smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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I think the both of you are making this more complicated than it should be. I don't recall having to have a prep talk about sex....it happened organically... when the time was right, the time was right. And it either flowed into a relationship or it fell flat. If my expectations were not fulfilled I would simply stop seeing them.

 

I think he got a little apprehensive about your comment about not looking for anything serious, so he just agreed with you. You just told him how to get into your pants by developing a connection. So that would explain his sudden interest for your life's details.

 

**He invited his friend probably to share the cost of the gas because it's expensive to run such a large boat. It would have been a damn waste to just have the two of you just go.

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candie13 Established Member

candie13

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Genital warts from The ex? Run !!! Seriously !

 

Stds apart, can you just wing it? Like you are simply getting to know eachother. Go on dates, keep your legs crossed, get to know him, and when and if you like him, have thé exclusivity talk again. I would keep my eyes open and date other men in the mean time. Truth is, when a guy sees a girl he really likes, he doesnt waste time f*cking around. He knows she's prob seeing other men and won't want her to get away.

 

As for what You want... Well, it's not like he asked You to be his gf, right? Stay in The moment & enjoy it. The worst You can do Is to start creating weird fantasy scenario about him & you, when most prob he's sleeping with other women. Stay grounded. Really.

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venusinlibra Established Member

venusinlibra

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Thanks everyone for the input. It got me through the boating excursion. He even looked over a few times asking me what I was smiling about and who I was talking to on my phone.

 

Seriously, WHY is he concerned about who I go out with and where I go if we're not exclusive? Anytime I mention a place I went to on a night we didn't see eachother, he's like, "what did you go there for?" or "who did you go there with?". Tonight, he even asked me if I was going out and where to, after boating.

 

He was a jerk today, in my opinion. Kevin brought a guy friend, and the friend was a lot nicer, and even helped me get on and off of the boat. Gosh, I tried so hard not to flirt with him, lol. But then the 30 year-old Virgin would tickle my feet or do some kind of pda to show he had dibs on me. The dude didn't even ask me if I wanted to do a few of the water activities that others did- Kevin's guy friend asked me instead. Then the 30 year old virgin asked tbe guys if they wanted a beer, closed up the cooler, then said for me to hand him his hat and sunglasses. I did, then Kevin's friend finally mentioned me having a beer. I said I'd like one but no one asked me, then the guys looked at the 30 year-old Virgin and he finally said "want a beer?". I was so ticked, I started clapping and said "finally!", though I sounded like I was kidding around. The 30 year-old Virgin was pretty much ignoring me, except for the few pda's, which picked up when Kevin's friend showed intetest in me. But then he got back to "normal" when we were alone again.

 

He dropped me off and I was just like "bye", and he said he's looking forward to next time. He mentioned an event tomorrow at the social group that I met him in, about going together.

 

He's very screwed up in the head and probably does have genital warts too. It's like he don't want me to go out with other guys. Whatever. Can anyone please make some sense out of the situation that I wrote above, so that I can have closure?

Jabron1 Established Member

Jabron1

Posted
Posted
A woman once did that to me, I was feeling sort of forced to agree to meet up but I wasn't content with another friend of her along the date. I need a one to one conversation, not some friend of her I don't know yet listening to our dialogue.

 

There are two main reasons for that :

 

-Being afraid of encountering a creep or a psycho, then yes it's better not to go alone. Or else set up the date in a crowded places or bars, if that's reassuring.

 

-Probably the friend coming to the date too will make a ''review'' of her friends date...'what did you think of him"? 'Cute, smart, funny?

 

I think it's more the younger people who prefer such dates, not those above 30. As adults we can meet one to one without having to bring the 'filler' bud who is most likely useless anyway.

 

Funny story: I once had a first date with a woman that brought a male friend along.

 

I met her on the street, got her number, and arranged to meet her at a coffee shop. When I got there, I saw her sitting with another guy :mad:. So, now I'm furious - thinking that I'm being played. I decide to see what the deal is...

 

It quickly becomes apparant that this guy is her gay friend :laugh:. I think she brought him along to feel safe, and to get an opinion of me - just like you said.

 

It backfired on her. I gave this guy more attention than I gave her. I just ended up chatting to him instead, and then she wanted to get rid of him :laugh:.

 

I don't like dates with friends. I want a woman to myself. Especially in the early stages.

 

Thanks everyone for the input. It got me through the boating excursion. He even looked over a few times asking me what I was smiling about and who I was talking to on my phone.

 

Seriously, WHY is he concerned about who I go out with and where I go if we're not exclusive? Anytime I mention a place I went to on a night we didn't see eachother, he's like, "what did you go there for?" or "who did you go there with?". Tonight, he even asked me if I was going out and where to, after boating.

 

He was a jerk today, in my opinion. Kevin brought a guy friend, and the friend was a lot nicer, and even helped me get on and off of the boat. Gosh, I tried so hard not to flirt with him, lol. But then the 30 year-old Virgin would tickle my feet or do some kind of pda to show he had dibs on me. The dude didn't even ask me if I wanted to do a few of the water activities that others did- Kevin's guy friend asked me instead. Then the 30 year old virgin asked tbe guys if they wanted a beer, closed up the cooler, then said for me to hand him his hat and sunglasses. I did, then Kevin's friend finally mentioned me having a beer. I said I'd like one but no one asked me, then the guys looked at the 30 year-old Virgin and he finally said "want a beer?". I was so ticked, I started clapping and said "finally!", though I sounded like I was kidding around. The 30 year-old Virgin was pretty much ignoring me, except for the few pda's, which picked up when Kevin's friend showed intetest in me. But then he got back to "normal" when we were alone again.

 

He dropped me off and I was just like "bye", and he said he's looking forward to next time. He mentioned an event tomorrow at the social group that I met him in, about going together.

 

He's very screwed up in the head and probably does have genital warts too. It's like he don't want me to go out with other guys. Whatever. Can anyone please make some sense out of the situation that I wrote above, so that I can have closure?

 

Who is the 30 year old virgin that you keep referencing? Is that the new name for the guy you're dating?

 

How can he be a virgin if he's got genital warts? This is very confusing.

  • Like 1
elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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Who is the 30 year old virgin that you keep referencing? Is that the new name for the guy you're dating?

 

How can he be a virgin if he's got genital warts? This is very confusing.

 

He only lost his virginity 2 years ago #21

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Jabron1 Established Member

Jabron1

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Posted
He only lost his virginity 2 years ago #21

 

Gotcha.

 

Well, he isn't turning her on enough for sex. And, he isn't willing to be her boyfriend either.

 

The situation looks pretty pointless IMO.

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elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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Kevin's friend seems a much better candidate, will he be there at the event?

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venusinlibra Established Member

venusinlibra

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The 30 year-old Virgin is the nickname I created for him.

 

Any ideas as to why he acted that way at the lake yesterday? And why is he so worried about who I'm going out with and to where, especially if he isn't ready to be exclusive?

 

All in all, he made my head spin. I liked him, he acted like a boyfriend and also talked sex. Now that I'm older, my mind automatically links sex and exclusivity together. And I can't get over how right my gut was about the std's- so glad I averted that!

 

Kevin's friend IS pretty cool- just hope I'll see him again sometime and that the 30 year-old Virgin won't ruin that for me due to his jealousy and control issues. The friend is only 29, but wow- he was a really decent man!

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venusinlibra Established Member

venusinlibra

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Kevin's friend seems a much better candidate, will he be there at the event?

 

I don't think so. Even if he was, the 30 year-old Virgin might try to sabotage it by making up lies about me. My grandma told me how guys talk about women when they aren't around, and I doubt that much has changed in the past hundred years, lol.

abby_tx Established Member

abby_tx

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I'd be happy if he invited a friend and the friend's gf. It shows he likes you enough to introduce and spend time with people who are important to him. Plus some activities actually are just more fun in groups.

 

Edit: just read updated posts since the original question. This guy seems kinda lame. I'd move no.

Edited by abby_tx
new info
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venusinlibra Established Member

venusinlibra

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Met the guy a few months ago and things were good and bad. He tended to lash out verbally after being vulnerable with me. He got really nasty one day, even making fun of me for how I eat my meat (I cut it all up, then begin eating, but to him, you only should cut it as you eat it). He said I only talk about sex, but never have it. He said I should be happy that he tells me I have bad breath (although he wears his retainer 24/7). I overheard him tell some guys that his FWB has genital warts. He got mad and cussed at me, denying it happened when I confronted him. I've been clear that I will not have sex until we're in a relationship and pass std tests. He said shortly after we met that he won't be ready for awhile for a relationship. I told him we should stop seeing each other, and he cried and said he'll still date me without the sex.

 

He's kind of a late bloomer, only losing his virginity a few years ago in his 30's. He has a few FWB, and mentions them to me and the places they go to. He knows that I know they're FWB, so essentially, he's telling me when he's getting laid. I doubt he has much relationship or dating experience.

 

After our big fight, he resurfaced four days later, offering to help fix my car. He was all nice, even talking about traveling to visit my hometown with me. He offered to help me move. Then I never heard anything from him, and I didn't reach out to him. I knew he was likely getting sex from those two FWB.

 

24 days later, I received a group text message from him. It was sent to me and two of his best buddy male friends. It asked if anyone was up for boating on Memorial Day. I finally replied after thinking about how cowardly he seemed to resurface via group text message. I kinda felt sorry for him.

 

Turns out there were several people going boating and he saved the last spot for me. He kept saying he'll wait until I could get there, etc. I declined. But the next day, I asked him to help me finish moving and he happily agreed. He kept extending our date, and took an interest in my pet finally, and even made an enclosure so she can't escape. He planned dates in advance with me, and started foreplay which he always said he hated. But he also told me about how he is traveling with a group this weekend, including the two FWB, and he's sharing a room with one of the FWB. He just calls them friends now, but previously told me about the sex.

 

Why do you think he resurfaced via group text message? Why does he seem different, and more obliging towards me? Do you think he wants more than sex? Perhaps he missed me during those 24 days. Did he really change? Do you think he has good intentions? Thoughts?

Edited by venusinlibra
He cried
preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted
Met the guy a few weeks ago. We're both in our mid 30's. We planned to rent a boat and go to the lake this weekend with a few people and their kids. After making plans, he seemed to want sex in addition to spending time together, but I declined because I had a uti. He called me his "main squeeze" before I declined sex, then the next morning, when I asked what it meant, he said jokingly to forget he said that. I said I had plans to go out that night and he wanted to know who with and where I was going, but I remained coy. We talked about "main squeeze" and sex again, and I said that I'd never have sex with a guy unless I was in a relationship and the only female he is sleeping with, due to std concerns. He said, "well I'm not ready to be exclusive", and I replied, "me neither". I figured he wouldn't come back around, and if he did, he wanted more than just sex.

 

He returned and backed off the sex talk, and our connection got deeper, and we made more future plans. He was asking about my work and was so interested and supportive, even checking on to see how my presentation went.

 

Last night, the weather forecast forced us to make the boat plans for Saturday instead. The other people can't go mow. Today, he said his friend Kevin might go, if it's okay with me. I said yes, but was puzzled.

 

Is he doing this to move us to friend zone or to get his buddy's opinion of me? It would be our fifth date. Is this a sign he is getting closer to wanting exclusivity for us?

 

He may only be doing it so that he'll have a hand at docking the boat and that sort of thing. It is helpful to have another person who knows what to do aboard. Boat handling is very tricky.

Buddhist Established Member

Buddhist

Posted
Posted

Any ideas as to why he acted that way at the lake yesterday? And why is he so worried about who I'm going out with and to where, especially if he isn't ready to be exclusive?

 

It doesn't matter does it? He's clearly not a good option to pursue there is just nothing more to see here....move along.

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