Author tracey86 Posted April 14, 2016 Author Share Posted April 14, 2016 no its not a revenge thing like i said it just happened. i needed to get away from what seemed hopeless so i took a job as far away as possible in hopes of clarity. being financially sound doesnt guarantee happiness. initially the thing with the om was about the sex so i didn't care about his past because its not like it was going to be more than that. just that i didn't expect to fall in love nor did he. it didnt matter how much of a skint he was because he made me feel like i was everything to him nothing else mattered. but at the same time i had my reserves as I worked hard for my career to even get caught up or implicated in any criminal entities. He was aware of that and never engaged in that life since we were together. yes i took care of him to a certain ext but that didnt matter it was the emotional connection. so here people may see that oh sex toy is gone but thats not the case. its about more than that for me. ha no one here has walked a similar path none of the others have made poor choices and being educated and making poor choices must mean that am not educated. clearly education is why people don't make emotional decisions... Link to post Share on other sites
Author tracey86 Posted April 14, 2016 Author Share Posted April 14, 2016 even with counselling we didnt address some major concerns because hes a man and he didnt need to address those. things. but anyone who says they would stay in a marriage that was not sexually fulfilling is a liar. at somepoint you will look else where to fill the void especially if you are honest and share with the partner you are not satisfied because for them to continue to ignore your nature needs is to disregard you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tracey86 Posted April 14, 2016 Author Share Posted April 14, 2016 thing is everyone is harping on his finances... my husband has no proof of anything unless i decided to tell him if i divorced him I could take half of everything things he had before me included because he put my name on it. if it was just about the money i could take that and walk away. its really nice to financially sound but my decision to stay with him is not just finances. howver i will say my decision not to be with the other man most likely is affected by his lack thereof and criminal history so excuse me if i wasnt clearly conveying that. Link to post Share on other sites
Honourably honest Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 If the OM is ready to do this with you so flippantly, I have a feeling in years to come you can expect the same treatment. I hope I am wrong. As for the finaces, your husband deserves better that you stealing money away from the marriage. That is not playing fair, that is being devious. If you are going to do it, do it now. Put him out of his misery and reap what you are sowing. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 If the OM is ready to do this with you so flippantly, I have a feeling in years to come you can expect the same treatment. I hope I am wrong. As for the finaces, your husband deserves better that you stealing money away from the marriage. That is not playing fair, that is being devious. If you are going to do it, do it now. Put him out of his misery and reap what you are sowing. Is it playing fair for the husband to father children outside the marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
purplesorrow Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 Is it playing fair for the husband to father children outside the marriage? ?? See #10, she said she was his first. Was he a sperm donor? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 ?? See #10, she said she was his first. Was he a sperm donor? NO, happened while the OP was in Med School. - #43 and #44 ..................... Link to post Share on other sites
purplesorrow Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 NO, happened while the OP was in Med School. - #43 and #44 ..................... Thanks. Too many holes. How can he deny cheating if there are kids? Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted April 15, 2016 Share Posted April 15, 2016 Tracey, I'll attempt to reset the conversation...your question, what does it mean? If I were he....I would either be struggling to determine, can I accept being your OM. I think he likely understands that you're not leaving your BH and that his current position is available to him if he can accept that position. May I ask one question? Given the choice, if you could, would you chose to correct things sexually with your H? Or has as we say here "that ship has sailed". Link to post Share on other sites
HereNorThere Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 thing is everyone is harping on his finances... my husband has no proof of anything unless i decided to tell him if i divorced him I could take half of everything things he had before me included because he put my name on it. if it was just about the money i could take that and walk away. its really nice to financially sound but my decision to stay with him is not just finances. howver i will say my decision not to be with the other man most likely is affected by his lack thereof and criminal history so excuse me if i wasnt clearly conveying that. Actually, you've left a digital trail as far as the day is long. If he ever decides to look or hires a private investigator, you'll be pretty easy to find online. Changing a few details here and there won't through off someone with good internets skills. Trust me on this. Link to post Share on other sites
smi11ie Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 Hmm. I am not sure if this thread is serious. You and your husband sound quite unusual. I cannot imagine accepting my wife being mostly absent for 3 years. If you want an open marraige then I suggest agreeing it with your husband first. You sound like you really want to be an adult. Good luck. Lol Link to post Share on other sites
Grapesofwrath Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 If you read over on the Other Woman/Other Man thread, you will see many stories similar to yours, told through the eyes of the AP. This may help you understand why your OM wants space. It may also help you to develop some empathy toward the others in your life. (Reading posts from the BS here in the Infidelity section could do the same.) Also, the proper spelling is AWOL. It's a military acronym. Stands for Absent With-Out Leave. Link to post Share on other sites
smi11ie Posted April 19, 2016 Share Posted April 19, 2016 The criminal is probably seeing someone else, that's why he wants space. If not he would just carry on banging you. Link to post Share on other sites
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