One step forward, two steps back :(

[Mirandaaa]

Trimethoprim is an antibiotic. He was not high. Heck, it could be for pink eye or something!

 

I've never heard of pink eye. I'll look it up.

[whichwayisup]

I kind of just casually dropped the subject of therapy to my friend today. Didn't tell her about any of my issues I just told her I was depressed. She told me that if I go into therapy, they would diagnose me and prescribe pills. I don't want to take pills. If they prescribe them to me and it's a day when I'm really depressed, then I'll be tempted to take them. Besides, I'm really sick today with a headache from crying and worrying about my dad. Plus I just found out today my grandma (moms mother) has breast cancer. It's in its early stages so they should be able to treat it so that she won't die from it.

 

This is not true. You seek a life counselor, not a shrink to put you on meds. You are not needing pills. You're are going through a lot so rely on your parents, open up to them.

 

Sorry to hear about your grandma.

[SaveYourHeart]

Medication is always more of an optional thing, unless you have something extremely debilitating like schizophrenia. Your friend doesn't know everything. To get a prescription, you must go to a psychiatrist, not a regular counselor or therapist. There are many options if you are willing to try. You need to stop worrying about your dad and worry more about your behavior and the way you treat your family.

[Mirandaaa]

Medication is always more of an optional thing, unless you have something extremely debilitating like schizophrenia. Your friend doesn't know everything. To get a prescription, you must go to a psychiatrist, not a regular counselor or therapist. There are many options if you are willing to try. You need to stop worrying about your dad and worry more about your behavior and the way you treat your family.

 

I told my mom I am depressed and maybe I need therapy. She basically in a round about way got the message across to me that I'm only 14 and anything depression issues I'm dealing with will iron themselves out eventually. So yeah. That's what I'm dealing with. She thinks I'm over-dramatizing everything. I asked her to take me shopping this weekend but instead they wanted to take me camping in the woods. With bugs, spiders and everything. They said it was good for the soul. I didn't want to, but I did just to please them.

 

We spend the whole weekend camping out in the woods on our property beside a lake where my dad went hunting for pheasants or quail or whatever it was. I hate hunting so I didn't eat the birds he killed. He told me he was sorry and he promised me he wouldn't go hunting if it bothered me that much. Yeah I can see it when my grandfather wants to go hunting next hunting season and my dad tells him he can't hunt anymore because I don't like it. I don't really believe him.

[turnera]

I told my mom I am depressed and maybe I need therapy. She basically in a round about way got the message across to me that I'm only 14 and anything depression issues I'm dealing with will iron themselves out eventually. So yeah. That's what I'm dealing with.

Miranda, I get it. I had parents that never put me first. That didn't see things from my perspective. That gave me really crappy advice. That ignored my pain.

 

But you can learn from this, from the advice you're getting. And my advice is...don't give up. Keep telling your truth. Keep pushing. And if your parents still won't get you with a therapist, go to your school counselor. Yeah, some of them are flakes. Some of them aren't. Some of them become counselors because they truly DO want to help you.

 

Let them.

[whichwayisup]

I told my mom I am depressed and maybe I need therapy. She basically in a round about way got the message across to me that I'm only 14 and anything depression issues I'm dealing with will iron themselves out eventually. So yeah. That's what I'm dealing with. She thinks I'm over-dramatizing everything. I asked her to take me shopping this weekend but instead they wanted to take me camping in the woods. With bugs, spiders and everything. They said it was good for the soul. I didn't want to, but I did just to please them.

 

We spend the whole weekend camping out in the woods on our property beside a lake where my dad went hunting for pheasants or quail or whatever it was. I hate hunting so I didn't eat the birds he killed. He told me he was sorry and he promised me he wouldn't go hunting if it bothered me that much. Yeah I can see it when my grandfather wants to go hunting next hunting season and my dad tells him he can't hunt anymore because I don't like it. I don't really believe him.

 

Talk to your mom again, and even your dad about how depressed you feel. This is huge and they HAVE to listen to you, understand that you are asking for help and as parents they have to support you, love you and get you a therapist to talk to. Doesn't mean medication, just means you need to talk and sort stuff out with an objective and helpful person.

[Mirandaaa]

They won't listen to me. I do have issues and I think it would help to talk to someone who really cares. He promised he wouldn't go hunting again but I found out that he is planning a hunting trip with some of his friends. That is one of the things I used to say I hated him for when I was little, like one time when I was about five he went hunting, I begged him not to because I hated seeing the dead rabbits he brought home. I said I hope he has an accident and shoots himself instead. He asked me how I would feel if it really happened and he got hurt, and I told him I would be happy. Of course I didn't mean it, I was five years old. I remember how he looked at me, then he smiled and hugged me really tight for a long time until I felt like I was going to suffocate, and he was begging me to say I didn't mean it but I don't think I ever said I was sorry I just completely forgot about it. Until just the other day something triggered the memory and I remembered that I said that when I was 5. I think me saying that to him when I was 5 years old is one of the reasons he says morbid things to me now.

 

I wrote my mom a note and I told her how much I love her. Because on Sunday when we came back from staying out in the woods we spent the rest of the day baking cookies and decorating them and laughing and talking. She always does things like this with me so I decided to tell her how much I love her and spending time with her. She was all happy, but then she put the note away and told me it would be nice if I said that to my dad too. So I got mad and I told her I was sorry I even wrote that note and that she didn't really deserve it, also I told her I hated her.

[turnera]

I kind of just casually dropped the subject of therapy to my friend today. Didn't tell her about any of my issues I just told her I was depressed. She told me that if I go into therapy, they would diagnose me and prescribe pills. I don't want to take pills. If they prescribe them to me and it's a day when I'm really depressed, then I'll be tempted to take them. Besides, I'm really sick today with a headache from crying and worrying about my dad. Plus I just found out today my grandma (moms mother) has breast cancer. It's in its early stages so they should be able to treat it so that she won't die from it.

Mirandaaa, that's just not true. Most therapists NEVER prescribe pills, only for severe problems, and only then if it's a psychiatrist (a doctor); regular therapists CAN'T prescribe pills; they have to be a doctor to do so and most therapists are just licensed therapists.

 

And, not to be rude, but why would you believe what a teenager says about therapists? She doesn't have the life experiences to know one way or another; she's just going off what she reads or hears about, most likely.

 

I know it's hard to believe it, when you're 14 or 15, but adults really do usually have the experience and maturity to know how to handle issues. My daughter is 25, and she STILL needs my help sometimes figuring things out.

 

You came here for advice because you thought our experience would provide good feedback for your problem. And overall, you've gotten extremely good advice here - communicate, talk to a therapist, accept your dad's love. Follow those, and you're going to be fine.

[turnera]

but then she put the note away and told me it would be nice if I said that to my dad too. So I got mad and I told her I was sorry I even wrote that note and that she didn't really deserve it, also I told her I hated her.

So, you are not able to have someone look at you and find something that's not perfect, is that it? That's a sign of low self esteem. Maybe even Toxic Shame. To protect yourself from the 'hatred' you know is coming your way when someone thinks you're not perfect, you instantly project out in anger or meanness so as to not be vulnerable.

 

Have you apologized to your mom?

 

You'll feel better when you do.