truth_seeker Posted April 18, 2016 Share Posted April 18, 2016 Please read it again and stop assuming she wants to get with this guy again because it was a "good hookup"....that's just stupid. Why does she still have his number in her phone? Link to post Share on other sites
kidm Posted April 18, 2016 Share Posted April 18, 2016 You messed up again by responding. He may not have hard evidence that he cheated with you (could he?) but the fact that you responded by saying you're in another country and just laughed it off is a little incriminating. IMO it shows no indignation on your part and may hint at the fact that something may have happened in the past. I wouldn't pile lies on lies. I would stop responding and block him and if he does tell your boyfriend, you would just have to come clean and face the consequences. The more honest option would be for you to confess right away and deal with the consequences right away. Do you want this to be something that the guy can hang over your head or you'll continue to be paranoid about indefinitely? Link to post Share on other sites
giblesp Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 Ignore/delete. This guy has no proof of you two getting together so it's his word against yours. God forbid you advise OP to maybe not cheat on her partner in the first place. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
giblesp Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 (edited) So if my boss or say even my husband's best friend came up to me today and told me how he wanted to *&^% me, that isn't sexual harassment? Women do not deserve to be treated like a piece of tail....I think guys can be better than that, don't you think? Or is it a matter of being ok with the knuckle dragging image? Obviously the men should have respect in the first place, but from their point of view what they are doing is getting results. This man is dodgy, but from his perspective he can go up to a woman with a BF and have sex with her. Until someone severely shuts him down he's going to continue doing so. If someone has sex with a stranger, without taking the time to establish whether he/she is a decent human being, they are at risk of exposing themselves to all sorts of problems. Edited April 20, 2016 by giblesp Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted April 20, 2016 Share Posted April 20, 2016 God forbid you advise OP to maybe not cheat on her partner in the first place. Reminds me of a job I had at a factory driving a forklift years ago. One of the guys went through a doorway with his forks about 20 feet in the air and he wrecked it and damaged the wall. All of us drivers were pulled into the office and questioned at length about who had done it. When asked the culprit said "No I Didnt and You Can't Prove it!" in aloud authoritative voice. That was all the proof they needed. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 This is a relationship you need to let go of, as soon as possible. It's not about who's right and wrong anymore, it's about hurting each other now. Pure and simple. Don't think you can sort through these issues and stay in this relationship with him at the same time. It no longer appears to be possible because.... - He is using your bad behaviour as guilt leverage to tear down your self esteem and to gaslight you. No matter what you did, he is doing the same, everyday. - He triggers you purposefully in a passive aggressive attempt to act out his anger. He wants you to lose control, disgrace yourself and then apologise believing that you are losing status in the relationship every single time. - You need to do something about drinking and mirroring your alcoholic father. That won't cure itself and time will not make it go away. - You need a space of unconditional understanding in order to enact positive change in your own life, for yourself. You clearly will not get that in cohabitation with your current BF. He doesn't care for you, he cares about the emotional leverage he can now get to get back at you. Realise that you are now in a revenge situation and quit it for your own sake. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lovehel Posted June 25, 2016 Author Share Posted June 25, 2016 We have been going out 6 years on and off. We are students (23) He started working a few weeks ago, he has been acting strange ever since. He didn't reply to my msg for 3 days, I heard from him the day after this saying how much he loves me etc...he sent me a msg saying he will take me out later...I was excited. It ended up he had nothing planned and took me out at 11 30 pm at night, I did not look impressed, when he picked me up. I asked him what he was doing for the 3 days he disappeared when he didn't even say goodnight to me. He told me to stop b*tching, and said he spent it with friends, doing this and that. I felt he didn't care about me and wanted to be reassured. Instead he gave out to me and said I was ruining the night. That he just wanted to have a good time. He told me we weren't married and to get over it. He told me he should have brought his friend so I wouldn't bring this up. I wanted an answer he ended up telling me to go make some friends. We ended up doing nothing and called it a night. We didn't speak for 15 mins, as he was 2 mins from my home he said this isn't working out anymore and stopped outside my door. I broke down once I got inside home. It has been 5 days, he hasn't contacted me since. He still has the photo of us together as his profile pic on his fbook which he goes on everyday. Does that mean anything, or am I reading into it? I am so confused how things ended so abruptly, what do you think caused this?? I still love him so I need some perspective. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
bummer Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 It has been 5 days, he hasn't contacted me since. He still has the photo of us together as his profile pic on his fbook which he goes on everyday. Does that mean anything, or am I reading into it? I am so confused how things ended so abruptly, what do you think caused this?? I still love him so I need some perspective. Thanks! Have you read your own previous threads? There's enough material from you two to write a season of a soap opera for all the characters. Fb profile will change. There's nothing abrupt about anything you write. You two will get together again... If you want perspective, go try adulting by yourself for a few years. Learn how to make good toast. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 He's an abusive jerk. I would never let a man talk to me the way he does. You can do SO much better. But you never will until you learn to love yourself, value yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
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