Dominant women only attract submissive men?!

[westernxer]

Originally posted by Opium

I agree, but the reason we think this way is because we think men are suppose to be these big macho men, when in reality they have feelings to and hurt just like woman. Sometimes they hurt more

 

We're not supposed to be big and macho; we're just supposed to be men.

[Opium]

Originally posted by westernxer

We're not supposed to be big and macho; we're just supposed to be men.

 

You know what I mean

[westernxer]

Originally posted by Opium

You know what I mean

 

[whichwayisup]

Originally posted by alphamale

 

In the married couples I know usually if the wife is dominant she is married to a less dominant male.

 

She is dominate because many men don't do the stuff women do around the house. And I'm not talking about housechores...

 

I'm talking about...

 

When company comes over - SHE does the organizing for it, setting the time/date etc.

 

Going to a wedding? SHE fills out the reply to go, she gets the wedding present.

 

Kids?? SHE is the one who makes the appointments and takes them. When the kids have or go to a birthday party, she is the one who gets the present, does the loop bags, does the invites...

 

Going on a trip? SHE is the one who does ALL the packing, making sure toothbruses, toothpaste, any medications are packed. Sheets, towels, pillows etc if heading to a cottage.

 

SHE is the one who keeps the household going, organized and easy. That to me, is why women may have more dominence, especially at home. I'm not saying a man can't do stuff like that, but really, HOW many men are out there who think of the whole picture, all the little details that need to be remembered...???

 

My husband is wonderful in so many ways, he does ALOT around the house, and he's told me how much he appreciates me doing all that I do - to keep the place going, the day to day stuff, things he just can't be bothered to do or can't remember.

 

I asked him to pack for the cottage. Help me. He packed HIS stuff, plus organized the CD's and CD player. That is all. I said, "Did you pack sunscreen, soap, shampoo, towels, sheets, pillows etc? Advil, tylenol, bandaids, bug spray, calomine lotion?" I got that blank stare back, with a goofy smile. LOL I should have known that he wasn't thinking of all the little things.

 

Balance is the key - What one doesn't do the other picks up the slack and vice versa.

 

I know I've taken a different angle on this than what others have put down, by the "dominent" woman can be dominate at work and a softer dominate at home. Make sense?

 

 

Personally i like it when a woman is overly emotional and sensitive and melodramatic because they are supposed to be like that.

 

It's very feminine.

 

And I like that my H is a stubborn ass at times. Doesn't like to talk about his thoughts too much, only when he feels like it. I like that he is strong but knows when to cave. I like when he lounges on the couch ALL day on Sunday watching football, making crumbs in the couch and then after he'll complain his back hurts from being on his ass all day! LOL!

[Horse]

I think "Strong Woman" or "Independent Woman" is often a misnomer just like "Nice Guy." "Strong women" are often just covering their insecurities with bitchy or domineering behavior, just like "nice guys" usually arent nice, they are just weak and needy.

 

Some guys really are nice and are still able to confidently assert themselves.

 

Some women really are strong and and assertive and are still able to be nice and sweet.

 

The only guys who will put up with being dominated by a beotch are the "nice guys"

[Opium]

SHE is the one who keeps the household going, organized and easy. That to me, is why women may have more dominence, especially at home. I'm not saying a man can't do stuff like that, but really, HOW many men are out there who think of the whole picture, all the little details that need to be remembered...???

 

Couldn't have said it better myself. This is why woman may have the upper hands sometimes when it comes to the little things. We think of EVERYTHING plus add/think of DETAILS.

[XNemesisX]

Originally posted by alphamale

In the married couples I know usually if the wife is dominant she is married to a less dominant male.

 

 

You just described my parents. My mother is definitely the dominant one. My dad seems submissive. Strange how that works isn't it?

 

I have been the "leader" in all my relationships except for 2. Guess who I liked more? The guys who were the "dominant" partner. For some reason, it just seems more natural for the man to be the leader in a relationship. I prefer the man to take control.

[moimeme]

The fact is that in almost all relationships there is a dominant and a submissive partner. How can respect ever be totally equal in any relationship involving multiple people???

 

That's a very telling statement.

 

You see, men who think they're 'dominant' are usually being humoured by women. They're not at all ruling the roost. That's the old-fashioned sort of relationship I want nothing to do with - where the woman secretly thinks the guy's a goof but lets him think that he's Mr. Big Strong Mayun. It's two people participating in a charade. Again, BLECH. How can you respect someone who you are letting think he's in control when he's actually not? When you have to pretend to humour some macho ego?

 

Sadly, these sorts persist in believing they actually are dominant.

 

Some guys really are nice and are still able to confidently assert themselves.

 

Some women really are strong and and assertive and are still able to be nice and sweet.

 

The only guys who will put up with being dominated by a beotch are the "nice guys"

 

Spot on, Horse!

[whichwayisup]

Originally posted by Horse

I think "Strong Woman" or "Independent Woman" is often a misnomer just like "Nice Guy." "Strong women" are often just covering their insecurities with bitchy or domineering behavior, just like "nice guys" usually arent nice, they are just weak and needy.

 

This is something that really gets to me. A man can be TOUGH at work, strict and disciplined. A woman who has the exact same attitude is automatically written off, is called a "bitch" or assumed she's got "PMS" or just acting "emotional."

 

A woman CAN be assertive and tough at work - BE SECURE. But most will see her as controlling, bitchy and pissy.

 

It really sucks that labels and assumptions are always made. Just take the person for who they are - Don't assume, don't read into anything UNTIL proven otherwise.

 

Couldn't have said it better myself. This is why woman may have the upper hands sometimes when it comes to the little things. We think of EVERYTHING plus add/think of DETAILS.

 

Thanks! Makes alot of sense doesn't it!!

[ReluctantRomeo]

This is a great thread, Ladyluck, and an interesting question to pose.

 

Correct me if I'm wrong guys, but I think most of us are evolving some kind of a consensus here, around 2 poles:

 

- "strong woman" is a self-applied label which is just as misleading as "nice guy". Sometimes it's true, but more often it's a cover for being domineering, unpleasant, bitchy and irritating. Treating men without respect and behaving without consideration for the SO.

 

- we should be looking for equal partners, not some kind of unrealistic ideal. Sometimes one partner will need the support, sometimes the other. Men need to be able to count on a strong woman at their side for their weak moments.

 

On the latter point, opinion is divided between those who want 100% equal and those for whom the man should still be the leader somehow.

 

Somebody stop me before I synthesise further... français un jour, français toujours lol

[ConfusedInOC]

I don't know that men want "dominate" women in the sense they try and overpower men.

 

I believe what men want are women who are not "wishy washy" and say what they want. It's OK to "take" what you want sometimes. For example when a wife wants sex, it should be perfectly OK for her to say "Let do this!" (haha).

 

Men enjoy taking the lead and being leaders, but it's nice every once in a while to see our S/O take the reins for a minute.

 

Kind of like driving. Most of the time men like to drive but occasionally we like to let our S/O take the wheel.

 

Dominate women? I don't know any any frankly if I did, I'd think she was a little too "butch" for me

[InmannRoshi]

You see, men who think they're 'dominant' are usually being humoured by women. They're not at all ruling the roost.

 

Agreed, this is the Esther Vilar school of feminism at work. Even when the women are "submissive" they are really in control, and when the men are "dominant" they are really the slaves. The outdated old feminist myth of the patriarch monolith.

 

To use her example, a woman has a flat tire on the side of the road. Rather than get out and change it herself, she begins to look towards the passing cars, expecting someone to pull over to help her (ie sending the signal that a weak female has once again been let down by male technology). Predictably, a man pulls over to help her. He asks her where her jack is. She claims she doesn't know. He pulls his own jack out of his car. 10 minutes later the job is done, and the spare tire is on. She thanks him, in the helpless feminine tone by saying she doesn't know what she would have done without him. He reminds her in a fatherly tone that she needs to take the tire in for a patch before she slowly drives off. The man gathers his tools and his jack. He looks down at his filthy hands. He got his shoes muddy working on the side of the road. He's a salesman, and his appearance matters. What's worse is that now he's late for his next client meeting.

 

 

While the man is speeding down the road trying to make up time, he's thinking to himself "Just another typical, weak, stupid, helpless woman". Never noticing that HE is the one who has ruined his clothes, HE is the one who has put his business in jeopardy and HE is the one who is now putting his life in danger by driving at a risky speed.

 

Meanwhile, the woman has made good use of her social indocterination to make use of a man when its in her best interest to do so. Afterall, why should a woman have to learn about fixing flats and get her hands dirty when half of the world's population will do it for her at no expense to her?

 

If an alien being were staring down on the earth which one would he conclude to be the dominant and submissive sex? This is what men who complain about feminism fail to comprehend. Back in the "good ole days" when there was a paycheck earner and a domestic caregiver, men weren't necessarily getting the better of those two roles. Which do you think was a better life in the late nineteenth century ... staying at home and taking care of the rugrats, or going to the iron factory for 18 hours to inhale carcinagous black smoke and watch your coworkers killed and maimed on a daily basis? Femiminism has been as liberating for men as it has been for women. There is really nothing a modern man can obtain in marriage that he can't obtain elsewhere, and meanwhile he's free to never have to work a soulcrushing job to support anyone other than himself.

[Opium]

Originally posted by InmannRoshi

Agreed, this is the Esther Vilar school of feminism at work. Even when the women are "submissive" they are really in control, and when the men are "dominant" they are really the slaves. The outdated old feminist myth of the patriarch monolith.

 

To use her example, a woman has a flat tire on the side of the road. Rather than get out and change it herself, she begins to look towards the passing cars, expecting someone to pull over to help her (ie sending the signal that a weak female has once again been let down by male technology). Predictably, a man pulls over to help her. He asks her where her jack is. She claims she doesn't know. He pulls his own jack out of his car. 10 minutes later the job is done, and the spare tire is on. She thanks him, in the helpless feminine tone by saying she doesn't know what she would have done without him. He reminds her in a fatherly tone that she needs to take the tire in for a patch before she slowly drives off. The man gathers his tools and his jack. He looks down at his filthy hands. He got his shoes muddy working on the side of the road. He's a salesman, and his appearance matters. What's worse is that now he's late for his next client meeting.

 

 

While the man is speeding down the road trying to make up time, he's thinking to himself "Just another typical, weak, stupid, helpless woman". Never noticing that HE is the one who has ruined his clothes, HE is the one who has put his business in jeopardy and HE is the one who is now putting his life in danger by driving at a risky speed.

 

Meanwhile, the woman has made good use of her social indocterination to make use of a man when its in her best interest to do so. Afterall, why should a woman have to learn about fixing flats and get her hands dirty when half of the world's population will do it for her at no expense to her?

 

If an alien being were staring down on the earth which one would he conclude to be the dominant and submissive sex? This is what men who complain about feminism fail to comprehend. Back in the "good ole days" when there was a paycheck earner and a domestic caregiver, men weren't necessarily getting the better of those two roles.

 

You make a good point

[subboy]

What ever happened to opposites attract? I'm with a strong woman and although physically I'm strong, I am a submissive male who enjoys pleasuring a woman. This can be by cleaning the house, doing laundry, sexually(going down on her). I also give her manicures and pedicures. She loves the attention and also loves teasing me when we go out and she sees a hot hunk of a guy. She will make comments to me about the guy. She knows I love it.

[XNemesisX]

 

You're weird.

[Tinman]

She is dominate because many men don't do the stuff women do around the house. And I'm not talking about housechores...

 

I'm talking about...

 

When company comes over - SHE does the organizing for it, setting the time/date etc.

 

Going to a wedding? SHE fills out the reply to go, she gets the wedding present.

 

Kids?? SHE is the one who makes the appointments and takes them. When the kids have or go to a birthday party, she is the one who gets the present, does the loop bags, does the invites...

 

Going on a trip? SHE is the one who does ALL the packing, making sure toothbruses, toothpaste, any medications are packed. Sheets, towels, pillows etc if heading to a cottage.

 

SHE is the one who keeps the household going, organized and easy. That to me, is why women may have more dominence, especially at home. I'm not saying a man can't do stuff like that, but really, HOW many men are out there who think of the whole picture, all the little details that need to be remembered...???

 

combined with...

 

Agreed, this is the Esther Vilar school of feminism at work. Even when the women are "submissive" they are really in control, and when the men are "dominant" they are really the slaves. The outdated old feminist myth of the patriarch monolith.................

 

While the man is speeding down the road trying to make up time, he's thinking to himself "Just another typical, weak, stupid, helpless woman". Never noticing that HE is the one who has ruined his clothes, HE is the one who has put his business in jeopardy and HE is the one who is now putting his life in danger by driving at a risky speed.

 

Meanwhile, the woman has made good use of her social indocterination to make use of a man when its in her best interest to do so. Afterall, why should a woman have to learn about fixing flats and get her hands dirty when half of the world's population will do it for her at no expense to her?

 

..just made me chuckle. Really, though I think what both quotes indicate is that outside of the bedroom 'dominant' and 'submissive' aren't very useful as anything other then self-applied labels. And frankly, since even inside the bedroom both parties are generally getting exactly what they want [spanker/spankee, controlling the pace/having the pace controlled, etc] the dominant/submissive labels really only serve to indicate who is holding the whip in a relationship rather then to who "is really in charge."

 

Now, stepping outside the context of the bedroom I realize I am going to have to back peddle a little. Sure, if two parties consistently clash on various issues and one party consistently forces the second to back down then yes, of those two parties the first would be the dominant personality. The trouble is, outside of fairly narrowly defined power struggles it is very difficult to ascertain whether or not the above circumstances ever actually happened. As cited above, it is quite easy to come up with examples where both parties leave the situation with good reasons for thinking themselves as having proved themselves the dominant party. Of course, that's assuming that interactions/personal relationships can even always be broken down as dom party vs sub party. And no, I'm not talking about the oft vaulted 'equal relationships.'

 

What about, dominant personality vs ...apathetic?

D: Hmm, pizza, chinese, or indian? I say pizza!

A: m'kay, all sound good to me.

D: Hah! I win again. [or alternatively, "D: Damn him, why must I always be the dom"]

 

[apathetic answer of course not to be confused with passive-aggressive answer which generally goes more along the lines of, "all sound good to me... grumble grumble, we always have pizza.."]

 

Related to the apathetic response though more nuanced is of course the calculated effect response which generally is more of a case of strong preferences/dislikes vs mild preferences/dislikes and goes along the lines of, "hmm, I'd enjoy going to Aruba slightly more than Vegas but DH/DW really loves Vegas and can't stand the beach so Vegas it is." In other cases it comes down to a slightly less pleasant issue of, "well I'd prefer 'A' but it's really not worth it to me to fight about it."

 

And that's just two examples but I should sum up before I really start to ramble. Basically, my point is that while one can self-apply the label of dominant or submissive, that label is meaningless when determining the true power structure of a relationship.

 

...unless of course you spend a lot of time growling at each other to determine who gets to feed on the carcass first and occasionally battle it out with other pack members for mating rights. In that case, go nuts.

 

In conclusion, I guess the real trouble comes is that you never really know exactly what is in the other person's head. Is your partner really passive or are they just non-aggressive? Are you running the show or do you just think you are? Basically, [and yes I know I said that already] I think the key has more to do with how interests intersect. People usually have strong opinions and A, B, and C care slightly about D, E, F, and couldn't care less about G, H, and I. The trick is finding a partner who has strong, mild, and weak preferences that line up with yours [depending how often and in which areas you want to get your way and visa versa].

[amerikajin]

It took me quite a long time to figure out that what all of these prime-time TV hosts tell us is pure unmitigated crap. Women and men are the same in many respects, but those differences in hormones do matter, and they do influence how we think and how we behave. And I think they influence sexual preference, and our masculinity and femininity, and how much masculinity and femininity we want in a sexual partner (which, incidentally, is also to some extent why I'm convinced that being gay ain't a "choice" - it's no more a choice than it is for some damsel in distress who wants a hardcore hunk of a knight in shining armor to save her). Like it or not, that's the way we evolved - the process took millions of years, and 60 minutes of Oprah can't suddenly enlighten the male gender to the point of realizing that it should unevolve just enough to accommodate the sensitivities of people who feel somehow cheated by the powers that be.

 

I'm all for women having careers and playing in sports if that's what they want. But understand that deep down inside, most men just aren't going to accept them as equals in the more traditionally "male" arena. That doesn't mean there aren't exceptional female athletes, politicians or professionals who prove themselves equal to their male counterparts; there surely are many examples to choose from these days. But I'm saying that a lot of guys just don't dig it when it comes to making her an attractive companion in the bedroom. It is unnatural for a man to know that he's not the breadwinner, and at the same time feel attraction to someone who has been biologically driven to dominate. And likewise, the woman's probably not going to get off on it either, as she's going to soon find herself looking for someone who can put her in her place. Biology wins the overwhelming majority of the time. Sorry some of you don't want to read this, but I didn't create the Universe.

 

Now, go to the kitchen and fetch me a beer.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by amerikajin

But I'm saying that a lot of guys just don't dig it when it comes to making her an attractive companion in the bedroom. It is unnatural for a man to know that he's not the breadwinner, and at the same time feel attraction to someone who has been biologically driven to dominate. And likewise, the woman's probably not going to get off on it either, as she's going to soon find herself looking for someone who can put her in her place. Biology wins the overwhelming majority of the time. Sorry some of you don't want to read this, but I didn't create the Universe.

I agree 110% AMERIKAJIN....I've met some women who make double or triple the salary of their husbands and almost across the board she is the dominant one in the relationship and has a large degree of disrespect and disdain for her husband.

 

Oh well.....thats the way it goes.

[Opium]

Woman also have this disadvantage of always having to prove themselves to men or even other people. For many years the man had all the power and was the money maker. Now-a-days it's an equal opportunity for a woman to show off her skills and to let everyone know, see woman can do it!

 

I'm very strong on letting my man take care of what he has to take care of and I believe a woman should never take those responsibilities away from them. I also feel dominant woman can sometimes take it to far but it's because we have this constant battle with inferiority against men.

 

I personally would not try or make my husband (when the time comes) feel I have all the power just because I make more money. My money is for the house and for us to live comfortably just like his.

[amerikajin]

I agree 110% AMERIKAJIN....I've met some women who make double or triple the salary of their husbands and almost across the board she is the dominant one in the relationship and has a large degree of disrespect and disdain for her husband.

 

Now Alpha, don't you know we're going to get lectured about how we're being sexist, that we don't know how to respect women.

 

Not true at all. I respect women as much as men, but I'm just saying let's take a look at reality here.

 

Lots of guys in our modernized egalitarian society will give you the platitudes about how they want equality and that they really don't mind women being the bread winner. Now, granted, there really are some who don't mind it - the submissive men don't mind it, and for a while, women don't mind it either. Especially if they're coming out of a crappy relationship, of if they've never had much experience in relationships before and don't really know what to expect otherwise.

 

But trust me, regardless of what most progressive-minded men say, deep down inside, although he may not necessarily have to win control over the remote and may not mind window shopping on the weekend, there's an inner masculine beast that's wondering "dude: SHE's bringing home the bacon? Um, what the f*ck's wrong with this picture?" There's a closet macho man that doesn't want to be nagged about hanging out with the boys. There's a rough neck that hates being henpecked about crumbs on the kitchen counter, as though his girlfriend/wife his second mother. And so when the tempers flare, a woman should understand the dynamics at play here. And the truth is, she probably does - she's probably just subconciously testing the guy to see if he understands what's going on, 'cause most of the time, we men don't. We don't have the slightest clue.

 

Now, of course we don't all fit nicely into categories as individuals. Obviously there really are some progressive men out there who dig domination, just as there are some women out there who dig being the dominatrix - for whatever reason. I'm not saying that people can't find submissive men and or dominant women, and furthermore, I'm not saying that they can't last as couples. All I'm saying is that for most of us, that's not really how we want it. A lot of people are getting caught up in politically correct pop culture propaganda, and getting completely confused about what the average man and woman expect from each other. It pays to understand how we've been programmed. Men want to lead, women want to be led.

 

What does it mean to be a take-charge male? It doesn't mean being an ogre. It doesn't men slapping women around - in fact, it never, ever means that - violence is that antithesis of being in control; it's usually a sign that a man knows he's completely out of control and is too socially stupid to understand how to control a person any other way. Being a male doesn't mean keeping your wife in the kitchen and bedroom. It doesn't mean discouraging her from getting a caree - again, the desire to confine is the exact opposite of being truly in control. A woman wants to know that your game is good enough compared to other men that you don't have to resort to these kinds of crude tactics.

 

Being the dominant male - the kind that women really desire - means that you, as a man, are ambitious to provide - and that ambition to provide should be greater than hers. That being the case, you won't have to worry about forcing her to do more of the nurturing and house management in the family, because she'll naturally take up those duties on her own when she can trust you with procuring the resources. That doesn't mean she'll give up her career or her other life for you - she won't. It's the modern world and in this day and age there's more division of labor - a modern fact of life that complements our evolution; it doesn't impede it. Consequently, it is natural for a woman to at least pitch in with respect to some of the areas traditionally governed by men exclusively, and vice versa.

 

But in the end, most women want men to do the majority of the leading and the providing; most women want their men to be even more ambitious than they are. Most women want their men to be intelligent. Most women want their men to be athletic and in good physical health. Most women see themselves with someone who can ultimately protect them, and their offspring. That means no wuss boys allowed.

 

Naturally, we have our own expectations of women. We want a woman to occasionally stimulate them with a challenge, but ultimately, we want a woman submit to us. We want a woman to be a good nurterer and someone who's reliable, someone we can trust with finances and, later, children. We don't someone who's going to cop an attitude with us. We don't want someone who looks at us as a meal ticket and picks a fight if they don't get their way. We don't want someone who's going to make demands or set ultimatums. We don't want someone who's out to compete against us and outdo us in every way. Hint to women: if you can beat your man at sports AND earn more money than he does AND are more skilled/capable than he is in just about every way, drop him - you two aren't gonna last long. I don't care how nice he is. You'll get bored, he'll get hurt.

 

It's not logical, it's bio-logical.

[amerikajin]

Woman also have this disadvantage of always having to prove themselves to men or even other people. For many years the man had all the power and was the money maker. Now-a-days it's an equal opportunity for a woman to show off her skills and to let everyone know, see woman can do it!

 

How many other people are there? There are women, men and???? (okay, sorry for being a smart_ss)

 

Anyhow, no, I don't buy it. What do you mean, women are having to prove themselves?

 

"For many years the man had all the power and was the money maker" Yeah, and in probably 95 percent of societies on the face of the earth, it's still that way. The handful of the most "progressive" societies on earth also account for an disproportionate number of divorces, serial dating and just an out and out fear of commitment to anyone anymore. What does that tell you? It tells me that political correctness is f*cking with our minds. Now don't get me wrong - I wouldn't want you to think I'd ever use a society like, say, Pakistan as our role model. But other societies understand tradition and the division of labor between the sexes better. They understand that housework and bookkeeping aren't demeaning or indicative of female inferiority; they're as valuable contributions in the context of the modern family economy as preparing food and maintaining the home have been since the dawn of our existence.

 

I'm very strong on letting my man take care of what he has to take care of and I believe a woman should never take those responsibilities away from them. I also feel dominant woman can sometimes take it to far but it's because we have this constant battle with inferiority against men.

 

You shouldn't see it in terms of inferiority/superiority. The genders can't be seen in that light. The men are naturally the more dominant sex, and will be for a long, long time - that's nature and besides flooding young minds with a steady stream of Oprah and Dr.Phil there's not much anyone can do to change that. And why would you want to?

 

Let's reframe the discussion. Let's think of it purely in terms of women being able to take care of themselves in the event that they marry a bum who's too much of a loser to take care of her and the family. Modern society did not go wrong in allowing women more freedom to divorce (or men for that matter), nor did it err in allowing women to sue companies for discrimination to eliminate the glass ceiling; society has gone wrong by taking it one step further, and trying to get women to compete with and outdo men in their traditional areas of responsibility. A lot of men fell down on the job and were s***ty husbands and providers, so it's understandable that a woman has to be prepared to take over if her man can't do the job. But we've now taken something that should be a back-up plan and turned it into a new gender identity for women. That may be what you want, but that's not what men want - and we're not going to want it for a long damn time. If ever.

 

I personally would not try or make my husband (when the time comes) feel I have all the power just because I make more money. My money is for the house and for us to live comfortably just like his.

 

Cool. As long as you've got that attitude, and as long as he's able to dominate you in some ways, I don't see any problems here (speaking from a male pig's perspective anyway).

[Opium]

Cool. As long as you've got that attitude, and as long as he's able to dominate you in some ways, I don't see any problems here (speaking from a male pig's perspective anyway).

 

 

 

Yes I can tell !!

 

Look what I'm trying to say is now it's hard for ANY man to realize that a woman can and could make more money but it doesn't make them better or more inferior than him. I will not allow a man to DOMINATE me, what is that? I would of course give him credit when credits do and I will allow him to be the "final word" of the house and show him respect but I to demand sometimes to be a decision maker. FIFTY/FIFTY...That's how I see!!

[alphamale]

Originally posted by amerikajin

It's not logical, it's bio-logical.

so true....evolution did not always take logic into account.

[amerikajin]

Maybe we're not that far apart, Opium.

 

I suppose "dominate" is pushing it a bit; more like leading, being capable of domination rather than dominating itself.

 

And just to clarify, I wouldn't necessarily have a problem with a woman earning more money than me if the gap between our success wasn't that great. But, for example, I see some things that are chipping away at my older brother's marriage, such as the fact that his wife - give credit where credit is due, she is a brilliant woman - his wife earns about 3 times as much as he does. And she's at the top of her field, and she has all of these other accolades. My brother, on the other hand, is on career number two - and he's not really enjoying it too much. And he's NOT a stupid guy or anything, he just happen to hit some hard luck in both careers (tight job market etc, and now age is slowly but surely starting to become more of a factor as well). He's bitter. Hell, I'd be bitter, too. Most men would. He's been a good husband and he believes in commitment, but I know that deep down inside it's tearing him up. Simply put, he wants to be the provider. Most men do. They may not tell you as everyone's gathered around the lunch table having this discussion in the office cafeteria, but that's reality.

[Opium]

I don't think it's tearing him up inside because his wife makes more money? I think it's because he's not at the same level as she his and is not in control as well as she. Yes, men do have this huge ego where they think they have to be dominant but doesn't it feel good to know you have a strong woman by your side to help with EVERYTHING!!

 

Your families case is just one of many, but I do believe in equal opportunity, and I believe just because men are "suppose" to be the more "in control" species doesn't mean we have to live by those anchient years.

 

And just to clarify, I wouldn't necessarily have a problem with a woman earning more money than me if the gap between our success wasn't that great.

 

Exactly, you should be happy and feel proud to have a successful woman by your side, I wouldn't want a bum by my side I need someone at my level or higher.