VeveCakes Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Yes you are being dumb. He doesn't have to pay for anything for you. It doesn't mean he cares less or more because he does or doesn't spend money. An example for you. My ex bf showered me with gifts, and money. Constantly buying me things, taking me out, giving me money to help with bills and to help buy a car. He insisted. Then he used those things as leverage to control me, and eventually I found out he was cheating and when confronted he assaulted me to the point I was hospitalized. Point being - spending does not equate love. Why not skip the things you can't afford and just hang out together, go to the park, cook dinner, etc. No man owes you anything. You are your own woman and capable of paying for yourself. If you want a man who pays all the bills, then move on, this one isn't for you. Just be aware that a nice guy is a harder find than a rich one. Choose wisely. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lola2609 Posted August 11, 2016 Author Share Posted August 11, 2016 Yes you are being dumb. He doesn't have to pay for anything for you. It doesn't mean he cares less or more because he does or doesn't spend money. An example for you. My ex bf showered me with gifts, and money. Constantly buying me things, taking me out, giving me money to help with bills and to help buy a car. He insisted. Then he used those things as leverage to control me, and eventually I found out he was cheating and when confronted he assaulted me to the point I was hospitalized. Point being - spending does not equate love. Why not skip the things you can't afford and just hang out together, go to the park, cook dinner, etc. No man owes you anything. You are your own woman and capable of paying for yourself. If you want a man who pays all the bills, then move on, this one isn't for you. Just be aware that a nice guy is a harder find than a rich one. Choose wisely. Thanks for your reply. I was afraid I will give you the impression I was looking for someone to pay for me. That is not the case. I like treating people (guys, dates as well) but the point is I am struggling with money. I will be done with school in two years but till then I am running the risk of either being with zero dollars in my account and no family or friends to help or getting myself into a ridicuolous debt. Anyway, we cant go to the parks and do other cheap things because we are in a long distance relationship. Just flying to his city is around 500$. No meeting can be less than 1000$ with food and flying expenses. And I think I can be fine if we do this every three months till I finish school but I would like him to help a little (like maybe to split the costs 60/40). I can afford to pay this vacation 50/50 or even his part of the hotel (as I promised) but then we wont be able to meet again soon. My specific question is, since I only paid my part of the hotel, do I offer to get 300$ tickets or leave it to him. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 But that wasn't really your question, because at the end of your post you said you felt like he didn't care about you because he didn't get the tickets. You don't need to go to the theme park... why not pick something more affordable? If you must go, buy your ticket and have him buy his. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lola2609 Posted August 11, 2016 Author Share Posted August 11, 2016 But that wasn't really your question, because at the end of your post you said you felt like he didn't care about you because he didn't get the tickets. You don't need to go to the theme park... why not pick something more affordable? If you must go, buy your ticket and have him buy his. True. I fetel bad for not being able to pay for the hotel as I promised, but also I feel like he should bte more understanding. Well, he offered to do something more than just spending time on the beach and sent me the link. Otherwise, we really dont have to go to the theme park. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted August 11, 2016 Share Posted August 11, 2016 Maybe just leave it in his hands then. Say it sounds fun and see what he does. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lola2609 Posted August 11, 2016 Author Share Posted August 11, 2016 I guess that is an option. Thank you for your insight. Link to post Share on other sites
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