ses Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 Would she be willing to refinance and consolidate her loans? She can always apply for IBR (income-based repayment) if her loans are unmanageable, too. Do you think she'll want to marry you soon? Do you have your own deadline? You should really discuss your concerns with her. You should know what she wants and expects from you and this relationship. It would really suck to find out that she wants two kids and a fancy wedding when money is tight. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WhirlwindGuy Posted March 7, 2016 Author Share Posted March 7, 2016 Would she be willing to refinance and consolidate her loans? She can always apply for IBR (income-based repayment) if her loans are unmanageable, too. Do you think she'll want to marry you soon? Do you have your own deadline? You should really discuss your concerns with her. You should know what she wants and expects from you and this relationship. It would really suck to find out that she wants two kids and a fancy wedding when money is tight. We both are in agreement we aren't ready for marriage yet. We have agreed to keep doing what we are doing and building our bond while we do it. We have discussed it quite a bit. She actually was able to come stay with me this weekend and we talked a lot. She does want kids and a fancy wedding, she is very naïve to that stuff I think. We discussed tempering our expectations a little based on our financial situations. She has a lot of work to do to crawl out from under her burdens, and I do to. Maybe we cant go out and get the million dollar house, but we may be able to get a 250k house...Maybe we cant have a wedding in Dubai...but we can have one in south Florida? There are compromises we will need to eventually make, and she has to be ready to make them before we can talk about marriage. She and I both have other priorities right now, and rightly so. Not to say we don't love each other and aren't committed to seeing it through, but we need to get our lives ready first. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WhirlwindGuy Posted March 7, 2016 Author Share Posted March 7, 2016 I'm a Trojan too! Only for grad school. Fight On And also...ouch. Undergrad and grad at USC is very $$$$. So is living in LA near campus, and residency...etc etc...I honestly cant believe they let students get into that much debt. Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 I wouldn't get involved with anyone with a significant debt. Too many moochers around. Link to post Share on other sites
AMJ Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 So is living in LA near campus, and residency...etc etc...I honestly cant believe they let students get into that much debt. At least she didn't go to UCSF....very difficult to find affordable housing in San Francisco on a student budget. It's actually affecting the overall quality of their medical program, since students can't afford to live there. Link to post Share on other sites
Earlybird Posted March 7, 2016 Share Posted March 7, 2016 (edited) If you had a lot of money, and she knew this, I would say leave her. The whole thing would be her playing you so you could help bail her out of her debt. Since though you have debt like her, she is not after money. It comes down to how much you love her. If you love her, this shouldn't matter. For this to matter then maybe you're not that much in love with her. Er, actually that depends how well off she THINKS he is. BUT I think the fact she came clean about her debt speaks volumes. Honesty is a big plus in a relationship. Edited March 7, 2016 by Earlybird Link to post Share on other sites
ses Posted March 8, 2016 Share Posted March 8, 2016 Continue taking it slow and at your own pace. A lot of my friends in the health professions (medicine, dentistry, pharmacy) have debt between $80-200k which is hard to stomach until you realize the job market is plentiful and overall salaries are good. You have to tighten your belt after graduation and live broke for several years but that delayed gratification is worth it for some people. If she can contribute 5-10% of her income to her loans she'll be better off sooner. If your girlfriend's biological clock starts ticking continue to remind her of the commitment in your relationship. I know there can be a lot of pressure for Muslim women to marry and have children so that concern may come up more frequently especially as more time has passed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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