Gaeta Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 So I found out he's been in the hospital for the past few days. I feel terrible now Was he unconscious on life support?
Author itsdinaah Posted February 16, 2016 Author Posted February 16, 2016 He was incapable of walking and connected to an IV.
Gaeta Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 He was incapable of walking and connected to an IV. And he told no one? Did not warn his family? he spent days there on his own telling no one? 1
Fruitee Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 He sounds like my crazy ex. I call bs. Sorry.
Author itsdinaah Posted February 16, 2016 Author Posted February 16, 2016 I'm sure he told his friends. He actually sent me pictures This could have all been resolved if he just communicated with me but it's too late now.
hippychick3 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 How did you find out he was in the hospital?
Gaeta Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I'm sure he told his friends. He actually sent me pictures This could have all been resolved if he just communicated with me but it's too late now. Why do you feel bad for a man that doesn't give a crap about telling you he's in hospital? but takes time to send selfies to his friends? How much do you not love yourself to accept such a load of poo? 1
hippychick3 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I'm sure he told his friends. He actually sent me pictures This could have all been resolved if he just communicated with me but it's too late now. I think the fact he ignored you is even worse given he was in the hospital and not unconscious. How could a guy not tell the woman he loves immediately that he's in the hospital?? 3
Author itsdinaah Posted February 16, 2016 Author Posted February 16, 2016 (edited) I know I was the last to know just like I always am. He texted me last night and sent the pictures. I was asleep so didn't see them til now. Still not the relationship I want. He's too damn secretive and not open enough for me. Edited February 16, 2016 by itsdinaah 1
Miss Clavel Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 do either of you realize that if and when you are living together/ married with a family, this behavior will not work? where does he go when he is "alone"? does he want you to follow? does he think you are a mind reader? does he think a good women sits around waiting with nothing better to do and no one better to do it with? most women want to hear from their lovers a couple times a day, a quick text, a promise to call, a plan to see each other. even just a picture, saying "don't forget me". "thinking of you". speak to him, in person, ask for what you want. good luck 1
Gaeta Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I know I was the last to know just like I always am. He texted me last night and sent the pictures. I was asleep so didn't see them til now. Still not the relationship I want. He's too damn secretive and not open enough for me. Dating is about finding suitable partner. He's not. Dump and move to next. Won't be very difficult to find someone better. This guy must be laughing deep down at all these women accepting his sh$tty treatment. 1
Author itsdinaah Posted February 16, 2016 Author Posted February 16, 2016 Here I was feeling bad for not giving him enough space but I now understand that I have my own needs that I need fulfilled. It can't be about him 24/7. It's highly unlikely that he will change his behavior, I just need to move on. I'm gonna distance myself from him. . 8
Miss Clavel Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 Here I was feeling bad for not giving him enough space but I now understand that I have my own needs that I need fulfilled. It can't be about him 24/7. It's highly unlikely that he will change his behavior, I just need to move on. I'm gonna distance myself from him. . bravo. p.s. don't go out and cut all your hair off. trust me. 1
candie13 Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I've had this behaviour once. It made me aware I was not treated like his gf nor was i his gf... What's the point if he's not sharing The good & the bad with me? 1
Author itsdinaah Posted February 16, 2016 Author Posted February 16, 2016 I know I don't want to just be there through the good. A relationship is about communication and compromise.
Author itsdinaah Posted February 16, 2016 Author Posted February 16, 2016 He said he was feeling dizzy and I think his iron levels were low. He hasn't texted yet so I think he's still asleep.
Miss Peach Posted February 16, 2016 Posted February 16, 2016 I think he expects me to chase him though so I don't think he'll contact anytime soon. This is my thought. Many men do things to get women to chase them. When you don't it will confuse him. Have you read any of Dr. Pat Allen's work? She always references a study where it take 8 weeks for people to disengage. I would have expected him to pop back up before then and it looks like he did. So I found out he's been in the hospital for the past few days. I feel terrible now I had a guy trying to get a second chance with me who would make excuses like this - including giving me a long story about going to the hospital for something as an excuse for not firming plans for meeting and talking. The thing is... how hard is it to send a text to someone that you're going to the hospital? Unless it was something sudden like a car accident, it should be doable and only table a few seconds. Here I was feeling bad for not giving him enough space but I now understand that I have my own needs that I need fulfilled. It can't be about him 24/7. It's highly unlikely that he will change his behavior, I just need to move on. I'm gonna distance myself from him. . I think this is the right mindset. This sort of relationship doesn't work FOR YOU. It doesn't mean you have to demonize him. It just means you need a new guy who treats you differently. I would also recommend reading some of the articles on Natalie Lue's blog. She talks a lot about self esteem and teaching others how to treat you.
Author itsdinaah Posted February 17, 2016 Author Posted February 17, 2016 I'll look into those articles and studies. I'm not too familiar with it. I'm going to try meditation and hynosis for now. Just take time to think about myself for once now that I'm out of this emotionally draining relationship.
ExpatInItaly Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 He said he was feeling dizzy and I think his iron levels were low. He hasn't texted yet so I think he's still asleep. Eh...sounds a bit off to me. But anyway, good for you for cutting this off. He's not the partner you are looking for in general.
candie13 Posted February 17, 2016 Posted February 17, 2016 I'll look into those articles and studies. I'm not too familiar with it. I'm going to try meditation and hynosis for now. Just take time to think about myself for once now that I'm out of this emotionally draining relationship. I don't want to be busting up your balls, but... how is this over? What did you do to end it? How did he react? I think you're feeling pressure from this site to break up - because this is what the group feels you should do - but you feel and want differently. It doesn't feel like you've broken up. IT feels like you took his excuses and are digesting it slowly...
Author itsdinaah Posted February 17, 2016 Author Posted February 17, 2016 I don't want to be busting up your balls, but... how is this over? What did you do to end it? How did he react? I think you're feeling pressure from this site to break up - because this is what the group feels you should do - but you feel and want differently. It doesn't feel like you've broken up. IT feels like you took his excuses and are digesting it slowly... I didn't really tell him that we broke up. I was going to try the slow fade breakup since he doesn't care one bit about my feelings. I actually don't want him anymore, my feelings for him are starting to fade. I've been hanging out with my friends, flirting with other guys and generally keeping myself busy. To me it feels like we already broke up though. I can never trust him again. I would always be worried about him disappearing or worried about saying the wrong thing and him ignoring me. And I refuse to ever be treated like that again.
Author itsdinaah Posted February 22, 2016 Author Posted February 22, 2016 I broke up with him on the 20th officially. I just sent a text saying that it's over and have a nice life. He didn't respond like I expected. I deleted and blocked and have moved on. No more excuses. It sucks but I'll get over it eventually. I don't want to be busting up your balls, but... how is this over? What did you do to end it? How did he react?
Author itsdinaah Posted February 23, 2016 Author Posted February 23, 2016 So my boyfriend of 3 months did the slow fade thing. He said things were stressful and busy for him and he ignored me for 4 days. I tried asking him to call me but he ignored my messages. We ended up fighting and him ignoring me more. I finally asked him if it was over and he never responded. So I texted him saying I'll assume it's over and move on with my life. Thanks for your time and have a nice life. Again no response. It's been 2 days since. I'm deeply saddened by this. Like I'm so irrelevant to him that he just ignores me. Why did he just disappear like that? He once told me he hopes we never hurt each other because he never wanted to lose me. Now I know he was full of ****. Just like him telling me he loved me was a bunch of ****. I'm just starting to feel so bad about myself, like I'm not worthy of anyone. I keep thinking of revenge but I know it's pointless. How can I move on and heal from this? My mind is still reeling.
bathtub-row Posted February 23, 2016 Posted February 23, 2016 That's really a sad thing and I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I hope you know in your heart of hearts that you're not unworthy. The truth is, your ex is the one who isn't worthy. He's not worthy of you, or anyone else, for that matter. Who in their right mind treats someone the way he has treated you??!! What a jerky, cold, horrible thing to do.
Recommended Posts