Lorenza Posted February 12, 2016 Posted February 12, 2016 So, there's no clear malicious intent from neither Girl 1 nor Girl 2 and OP is insulted cause he imagined some generalized bs in his head. 9
smackie9 Posted February 12, 2016 Posted February 12, 2016 men are a little tender when it comes to trying to possess a female they feel they deserve out right. They feel devalued when offered a lesser female in her place, hence the hurt ego. No man wants to looked upon as not being able to have an attractive girl. 1
Author truth_seeker Posted February 12, 2016 Author Posted February 12, 2016 You're right, I should. Guess It triggers me when guys are playing some ridiculious alpha-male games and view women through their generalized and slightly dehumanizing perception. Apparently by liking a guy you can insult him nowadays... Good luck. Again, your logic is twisted. Let focus on the topic, not what you're trying to twist it into... Guy likes girl, girl likes guy, girl changes her mind. Girl's friend decides I'll go for him since you're not interested anymore. It's the idea this woman thinks she can go for him and guy will be there ready to accept.
Author truth_seeker Posted February 12, 2016 Author Posted February 12, 2016 men are a little tender when it comes to trying to possess a female they feel they deserve out right. They feel devalued when offered a lesser female in her place, hence the hurt ego. No man wants to looked upon as not being able to have an attractive girl. Just in case you're indirectly speaking about me, let me answer. I don't deserve anything in life other than common courtesy and respect from people and vice versa. If I'm interested in you Smackie, and you're into me, and you decide you rather go off with another guy, best of luck to you. Case closed. Now if your friend Lorenza who isn't as attractive as you, thinks "okay, I'll go for him" and I'm just going to date her because she's into me and thinks I'm available, that doesn't hurt my ego, it inflates it... it's just insulting to think how women believe men are puppy dog's and will go along with their way of thinking. 1
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 12, 2016 Posted February 12, 2016 Can you please clarify why you believe that this girl thinks you'll go out with her just because her friend didn't want to? I'm having trouble getting that part. 4
kendahke Posted February 12, 2016 Posted February 12, 2016 women believe men are puppy dog's and will go along with their way of thinking. No. Not all women do that. Just like not all men believe that just because they have an interest in some woman that automatically means her free will goes out the window and she owes him a relationship. The best way to solve this problem is to show whoever does this to you that you think for yourself and are not gullible in that way. People are going to believe what they want to believe. Being that "no" is the first word every human understands the meaning of by the age of 18 months, it really shouldn't be hard to use it on someone who's got the wrong idea about you and your availability. 1
Gaeta Posted February 12, 2016 Posted February 12, 2016 Now if your friend Lorenza who isn't as attractive as you, thinks "okay, I'll go for him" and I'm just going to date her because she's into me and thinks I'm available, . I don't know why you keep thinking she assumed you'd date her. Look, she just took a chance on you because she liked you. More power to her! You were free, she liked you, she tried. Men do that ALL THE TIME. You don't like her, you're not reciprocating, END OF STORY. Why you chose to associate all types of significations to it is beyond me. 5
mattelipstick Posted February 12, 2016 Posted February 12, 2016 Can you please clarify why you believe that this girl thinks you'll go out with her just because her friend didn't want to? I'm having trouble getting that part. This has been asked about 10x now and OP won't answer directly. And OP, based on the rather disrespectful way you've spoken to women in this thread, I'd say both of these girls have dodged a bullet. 9
William Posted February 12, 2016 Posted February 12, 2016 OK, I saw the word disrespectful so we'll queue this up for review and get both our female and male moderators to deem who's been disrespectful to whom. Our goal is collaborative and respectful discussions and disrespect of fellow members fails that goal. Thanks for bringing this to our attention, though the 'alert us' button is the approved method.
trippi1432 Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 (edited) I don't know why you keep thinking she assumed you'd date her. Look, she just took a chance on you because she liked you. More power to her! You were free, she liked you, she tried. Men do that ALL THE TIME. You don't like her, you're not reciprocating, END OF STORY. Why you chose to associate all types of significations to it is beyond me. This has been asked about 10x now and OP won't answer directly. And OP, based on the rather disrespectful way you've spoken to women in this thread, I'd say both of these girls have dodged a bullet. Here's something I don't understand, TS brought something here to LS that does happen to both men and women. Happened to me as well, and YES, I was insulted and let the guy I had been dating know he was an (idiot) to stay in line with language. So TS brings it here to talk about it, a forum, HE has every right to be insulted by the behavior of this woman he liked and the anticipation that her friend would be scooped up by him. Why?? Because he has choices too. Reading through the posts, it's was like 10% of them gave him that "path"...the other 90% ridiculed him. Why? I guess that's my question. No one wants to be a consolation prize or be treated like one. TS brought his feelings here, and he is allowed to have them. He has the right to talk about how it makes him feel just as much as we ladies do when it happens to us. Just my 0.2 cents. If it were one of us ladies, would we support each other or tell the woman she should be happy that she had other "alternatives"...other than just the designated "friend"? Edited February 13, 2016 by trippi1432 2
smackie9 Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 I have one more thing to say.....get over it. We all have had our bad "personal" experiences. This happened to me too once.....I just stepped over it and courageously moved forward, letting it roll off my back. 2
trippi1432 Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 I have one more thing to say.....get over it. We all have had our bad "personal" experiences. This happened to me too once.....I just stepped over it and courageously moved forward, letting it roll off my back. I do hope that is not the same support you got when it happened to you...My gal-friends gave me better support. Just because TS is a man doesn't mean he doesn't feel the same way. Just saying.
Author truth_seeker Posted February 13, 2016 Author Posted February 13, 2016 Here's something I don't understand, TS brought something here to LS that does happen to both men and women. Happened to me as well, and YES, I was insulted and let the guy I had been dating know he was an (idiot) to stay in line with language. So TS brings it here to talk about it, a forum, HE has every right to be insulted by the behavior of this woman he liked and the anticipation that her friend would be scooped up by him. Why?? Because he has choices too. Reading through the posts, it's was like 10% of them gave him that "path"...the other 90% ridiculed him. Why? I guess that's my question. No one wants to be a consolation prize or be treated like one. TS brought his feelings here, and he is allowed to have them. He has the right to talk about how it makes him feel just as much as we ladies do when it happens to us. Just my 0.2 cents. If it were one of us ladies, would we support each other or tell the woman she should be happy that she had other "alternatives"...other than just the designated "friend"? Thanks, Trippi. I did feel like I had a pack of wolves on top of me. 1
strawberryshortstack Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 Here's something I don't understand, TS brought something here to LS that does happen to both men and women. Happened to me as well, and YES, I was insulted and let the guy I had been dating know he was an (idiot) to stay in line with language. So TS brings it here to talk about it, a forum, HE has every right to be insulted by the behavior of this woman he liked and the anticipation that her friend would be scooped up by him. Why?? Because he has choices too. Reading through the posts, it's was like 10% of them gave him that "path"...the other 90% ridiculed him. Why? I guess that's my question. No one wants to be a consolation prize or be treated like one. TS brought his feelings here, and he is allowed to have them. He has the right to talk about how it makes him feel just as much as we ladies do when it happens to us. Just my 0.2 cents. If it were one of us ladies, would we support each other or tell the woman she should be happy that she had other "alternatives"...other than just the designated "friend"? The trouble is, there was NO evidence that this is what happened. He assumed what was going through her mind. He was asked why he felt this way, and never once responded to the question, just reiterated the same baseless assumption over and over again. 3
edgygirl Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 :lmao: We're all someone's leftovers, btw. 1
edgygirl Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 You sound a little paranoid... Who said they thought you'd "gladly accept"? Did they tell you that? Where did you get this idea from? Relationships are fluid... people get interested in each other... so what if the friend got interested and you don't like her. Big deal (not). You sound too rigid. No wonder you scared off the first girl. Take some moments to think about it instead of trying to convince everyone here you are right to be insulted. If we are feeling your rigidness here, people in real life are too. Chill! I get it. Again >>> it's the logic that because one isn't interested, I'm "passed off" to someone else and I will gladly accept. 2
edgygirl Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 Lord, why in the world you think that was her thought? Where did this come from? No woman in the world thinks like that... that's so twisted Relationships are a gamble. People try, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. It's the idea this woman thinks she can go for him and guy will be there ready to accept. 1
jen1447 Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 So TS brings it here to talk about it, a forum, HE has every right to be insulted by the behavior of this woman he liked and the anticipation that her friend would be scooped up by him. Why?? Because he has choices too. Reading through the posts, it's was like 10% of them gave him that "path"...the other 90% ridiculed him. Why? I guess that's my question. He also asked "should I be insulted?" Surely we have the right to answer his question too, and based on what little info we have, many ppl thought he shouldn't be. Seems fair to me and I'm not sure what else you expect. You sound a little paranoid... Who said they thought you'd "gladly accept"? Did they tell you that? Where did you get this idea from? This is the mystery question that's still never been answered. 8
edgygirl Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 He's just butthurt by the first girl and taking it out on the second girl. Please at least recognize that your anger is towards the girl who didn't want you. It helps processing and getting over the hurt feelings... Second girl was just being a normal human being trying to find some love. So what? He's pissed the first girl was willing to give up on him. That's the truth. It hurts, but get over it instead of getting "insulted". Find the root of the problem. It's NOT the second girl. This is the mystery question that's still never been answered. 7
edgygirl Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 When I was about 22 and honestly quite good looking (I had a rockstar get off stage after a show to introduce himself to me after staring at me the whole show lol), I dated this guy who was in the middle of a breakup. He told me he decided to go back to his ex. He said that if it wasn't for his long relationship with her, he'd be with me, said only amazing things and complimented me. Then he said - I think you're so wonderful, I'd like to introduce you to a friend. Uh... I was confused too. I immediately said I was not interested. I didn't get insulted. I just didn't think it was the right way to go about it. I'd never pass to a friend of someone I was interested in who basically rejected me. But I can't say I was offended. It was a weird but cute gesture showing he cared about me in a way. 2
losangelena Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 He also asked "should I be insulted?" Surely we have the right to answer his question too, and based on what little info we have, many ppl thought he shouldn't be. Seems fair to me and I'm not sure what else you expect. This is the mystery question that's still never been answered. Insulted is as insulted does. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 1
trippi1432 Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 He also asked "should I be insulted?" Surely we have the right to answer his question too, and based on what little info we have, many ppl thought he shouldn't be. Seems fair to me and I'm not sure what else you expect.[/Quote] He has the right to ask that Jen, and you have the right to answer it as insultingly as you want. He has put his feelings out here on the thread about the original topic. If you ladies want to rip him to shreds, akin to gender bashing, seems fair to me that you get it right back. Quid pro quo.
frus69 Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 He has the right to ask that Jen, and you have the right to answer it as insultingly as you want. He has put his feelings out here on the thread about the original topic. If you ladies want to rip him to shreds, akin to gender bashing, seems fair to me that you get it right back. Quid pro quo. You seem to understand OPs feelings very well. Since he refuses to answer why he thinks the second girl thinks he will jump on her, can you maybe shed some lights? Seems like this is the main thing that's insulting to him, not the fact that she likes him
trippi1432 Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 You seem to understand OPs feelings very well. Since he refuses to answer why he thinks the second girl thinks he will jump on her, can you maybe shed some lights? Seems like this is the main thing that's insulting to him, not the fact that she likes him Sure....let's go back to here: Excuse me...wha? How do you go from -- she in interested in me and thinks we should date -- to -- she is arrogant for assuming I will throw myself at her? All she did was express interest in dating you! Is that not allowed in your world? I think you're pissed off that the girl you actually like isn't interested... and since you can't get mad at her.... you misplace your anger and direct it at her friend who IS interested in you. 4 posts in and we have assumptions where the OP has to defend himself because he isn't willing to entertain the object of his affection's best friend, or consolation prize. Shoe on the other foot, we would be having a different discussion here.....note response. You're wrong. It's how it comes across - please think about it from my perspective. OP has a right to ask this, it wasn't respected. Girl is interested in Guy, Guy is interested in Girl. Girl decides, I like someone else better, so I am no longer interested. Guy is disappointed and moves on. Girl's friend is single. Girl suggests: I don't have interest in him anymore, you can go him. Friend decides to go for guy thinking he will gladly accept. Is that scenario not somewhat insulting to the guy? Don't find her attractive. ^^^^^ OMG!! He didn't find the substitute attractive. I mean some here (men) have said he should just be happy with it and go off and get him some (well how I read some of those replies). Maybe he doesn't like lying to himself or to others. Maybe he actually wants something real and obviously, the object of his attraction wasn't. The woman he was attracted to might have been a 10 in his eyes but was really a 6?? Maybe the consolation prize was a 2 in his eyes but really a 7....that comes down to opinion and the glorious unknown equation in the situation. The fact of the matter is that the OP has free will and should not be obligated to accept a consolation prize. He should be getting understanding that this situation was inadequate and no, this is not a right thing to do or pursue if he doesn't want to. Instead, that is not what he got here.
frus69 Posted February 13, 2016 Posted February 13, 2016 Still confused. This: " Girl is interested in Guy, Guy is interested in Girl. Girl decides, I like someone else better, so I am no longer interested. Guy is disappointed and moves on. Girl's friend is single. Girl suggests: I don't have interest in him anymore, you can go him. Friend decides to go for guy thinking he will gladly accept." Two huge assumptions: 1. "Girl thinks I don't have interest in him anymore you can get him"-why not girl think " I was attracted but too bad we aren't a good match. You are my good friend and since you also like him and he's a good guy, why not tell him. maybe you two will be a good together" 2. Friend thinking he will gladly accept.- ok completely don't know where this even come from. Ridiculous if you ask me And the fact that OP refuses to put more info in it is not helping him. It just makes him look like he is pissed because of his own imagination 2
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