Guys with profile pictures next to hot girls

[jay1983]

Well that's the reason you are getting a bad response rate.

"hi" or "how was your weekend" implies a boring person to me. Sorry I won't be pursuing that, unless maybe you are top 1% attractiveness.

I think you should be a bit more selective in the swiping so that when you get matches you can actually be bothered having a real conversation. You are blaming them but you are setting the tone with bland messages.

 

If I get a couple of intelligent/funny messages from someone then I'll suggest meeting up. I'm not going to become someone's penpal. There is only so much you can learn online anyway.

 

I mean, I know. Sending a dull first message is not ideal. When I have to write 30 messages at the same time or else the matches all disappear, it's not like I could be creative. I've never thought of myself as boring. I just don't want to take lots of time thinking of things to say to guys online to make myself seem interesting.

 

But seriously- what does boring even mean? Like, what kind of opening message would be more interesting without sounding strange? I feel like I'd need to spend time analyzing each guy's profile to come up with something creative to say. And I will never do that.

 

Mostly because, I feel like if a guy really wants to get to know me, he will care less if I say "Hello Joe!" or "Wow, I really love that picture of you snowboarding. Have you been to Tahoe lately?!" Because it's true...if I really want to get to know a guy who approaches me, it doesn't really matter how he begins the conversation. I feel like if men are going to be this nitpicky about my first email, they're just going to be equally choosy about everything else about me. And who needs that?

 

 

This is so freaking weird, it's like something out of the Twilight Zone were the genders are swapped. Lol

Edited February 11, 2016 by jay1983

[SincereOnlineGuy]

I disagree, it is an issue. Based on the responses here, men do this only because they think it will attract more women. To me, that seems contrived, superficial. There are men who don't do this, so I'll probably just decide to talk to them, going forward. To each his own, this process is about preferences, and I have mine.

 

 

 

LOL - "men do this" because some purely random-to-you human guided them to do so. (and that is the only reason, aside from the chance they are pictured with their daughters, etc.)

[AMJ]

LOL - "men do this" because some purely random-to-you human guided them to do so. (and that is the only reason, aside from the chance they are pictured with their daughters, etc.)

 

Yes, someone told them to do it. Which means, it is contrived and superficial.

 

Contrived: deliberately created rather than arising naturally or spontaneously.

created or arranged in a way that seems artificial and unrealistic.

[lino]

I don't do online dating but I'm sure it relates closely to what happens in real life.

 

In real life, a man surrounded by beautiful women he is clearly having sex with or has had with in the past will without fail attract a lot more beautiful women.

Every neighbourhood has a guy like this so everyone has seen this at play.

 

If the guy is just either hanging out with or simply trying to be seen with beautiful girls where they just tolerate him as one of their many orbiters who buys them drinks, etc but gets no action from them... Then this is a sure way to be seen as a try hard and guarantees almost no action from other women.

 

If the women are simply his platonic friends or relatives then his chances are in between the above two extremes.

 

Women want what other women want, it's literally that simple.

[lino]

In the past month I've mutually matched with 300 men on bumble. This means, they thought I was attractive, and I decided I'd give them a shot as well. On bumble, women are required to send a message first, and if we don't do so within 24 hours, the match will disappear. So it's safe to say, a guy should feel comfortable that I'd like to talk to him, since I've had to make the first move. Well, out of those 300 men, only 150 even bother to respond to my message. And out of those 150, only 25 seem to want to message me long enough to progress to meeting in real life.

And out of those 25, maybe only 10 will actually make plans to go on a date and follow through with it. And out of those 10, I've been on three so far. There won't be a second date with any of the three. So here I sit, hoping that the remaining 7 will be worth my time.

 

So in the past month you've been out with 3 men and will be seeing 7 more... Ummm where is the problem?

 

When I was single, 10 first dates in a month was an extremely good month. How many do you want? 50?

 

There are men who will have 10 dates in 5 years, let alone a month.

 

Don't worry about feeling sorry for men's online dating struggles, you clearly will never have to experience them.

[dreamingoftigers]

I don't do online dating but I'm sure it relates closely to what happens in real life.

 

In real life, a man surrounded by beautiful women he is clearly having sex with or has had with in the past will without fail attract a lot more beautiful women.

Every neighbourhood has a guy like this so everyone has seen this at play.

 

If the guy is just either hanging out with or simply trying to be seen with beautiful girls where they just tolerate him as one of their many orbiters who buys them drinks, etc but gets no action from them... Then this is a sure way to be seen as a try hard and guarantees almost no action from other women.

 

If the women are simply his platonic friends or relatives then his chances are in between the above two extremes.

 

Women want what other women want, it's literally that simple.

 

It always makes me wonder why guys are so oblivious to this: that guy is the equivalent to the Neighbourhood Bicycle.

 

Get it? The girls will play with him and he gets action, but very few take him seriously except the "change him" types which are the equivalent of the "Captain Save a Ho" types.

 

Duh. So the guy gets a lot if girls. Just like the neighbourhood bicycle always has a rider.

[Shining One]

Contrived: deliberately created rather than arising naturally or spontaneously.

Would this not include women who wear makeup? The vast majority of the profile pictures I see on OLD are of women wearing makeup.

[AMJ]

Would this not include women who wear makeup? The vast majority of the profile pictures I see on OLD are of women wearing makeup.

 

Oh, women are guilty of this too, sure. If she's wearing so much makeup or hair extensions, or generally fakes her appearance to the extent that you'd hardly recognize her if you saw her in person? Sure, I'd say that's contrived.

 

But if she's wearing the same amount of makeup that she wears on a normal basis, I'd say that's pretty genuine. Unless you think any amount of makeup in itself is misleading...well, then, sure, all women who wear makeup are contriving.

I would feel like that's a different level of contriving than a guy who posts a photo of random hot girls for the sole purpose of looking like a popular sexy stud, but that's just my opinion. I'm not at all trying to say that women are never misleading. I think push-up bras are a hoax. Men everywhere should be frustrated with Victorias Secret because those bras make everyone look like we have perfect breasts. False advertising! lol.

[hasaquestion]

Would this not include women who wear makeup? The vast majority of the profile pictures I see on OLD are of women wearing makeup.

 

I don't get why Loveshack always has to act so outraged about such ordinary things as this.

When you see a girl's profile on Tinder and there's multiple people, you usually know exactly which one she is. Its out of the same playbook as this one.

Whether you like it or not is one thing but its obvious why people do it, that people do it for a reason, and that its not some kind of grand old mystery that needs to be debated on end.

[Shining One]

My point was that we (as a society) are taught to do various things that are not natural to make ourselves attractive to the opposite sex. I agree with you that some people do take it too far. The example you provided earlier is a good example of going too far. What would say about a photo of a man dancing with a hot bridesmaid at a wedding?

[hasaquestion]

My point was that we (as a society) are taught to do various things that are not natural to make ourselves attractive to the opposite sex. I agree with you that some people do take it too far. The example you provided earlier is a good example of going too far. What would say about a photo of a man dancing with a hot bridesmaid at a wedding?

 

And why do people use such loaded language like "guilty"? Its just people being people. One way to demonstrate value is by association. Its not rocket science or black magic. If it isn't working then do something else.

[AMJ]

And why do people use such loaded language like "guilty"? Its just people being people. One way to demonstrate value is by association. Its not rocket science or black magic. If it isn't working then do something else.

 

As the person who just stated that this subject does not need to be debated ad nauseam, why are you nitpicking my usage of the word "guilty"? If you want this discussion to be over with, then why are you adding to it?

 

You think that this was a dumb idea for a post- that's fine! I don't comment on other people's posts that I think are ridiculous- it's their business, their concerns. If I feel like their topic is silly, I leave it be!

 

If what I'm bringing up is such a non-issue, then why get your feathers so ruffled? The fact is that some people work harder to get attention from the opposite sex than others do- both male and female.

 

In my experience, the couples who are happiest don't have an ounce of anything contrived in their relationships. I don't want to waste my time with someone pretending to be something they're not, just like I don't ever want to pretend to be something or someone that I am not. Like I said, idk, two pages ago, this whole process is about preferences, and I have mine. To each her own.

[AMJ]

My point was that we (as a society) are taught to do various things that are not natural to make ourselves attractive to the opposite sex. I agree with you that some people do take it too far. The example you provided earlier is a good example of going too far. What would say about a photo of a man dancing with a hot bridesmaid at a wedding?

 

A guy with a bridesmaid at a wedding is not at all what I'm talking about. Wedding photos are about your real life, people you actually know and probably consider friends. You're dressed up and look nice, and you're having fun, and likely, you're being yourself.

 

The photos I'm talking about, which I see over and over again, otherwise wouldn't have created this post, are of a guy with usually at least two but maybe more, super hot, really young ladies. These are the typical "stand and pose" girls you'll see at a bar, or a party, or whatever event, wearing skin tight dresses, or bikinis, with tons of makeup and their hair looking so perfect you'd think it's their own wedding day, fake boobs, etc. Most of the time you look at the picture and think, well he doesn't even know those girls. He probably just bought them a round of shots because they're hot. And now he posts this picture on his profile.

 

I thought, well I'd look ridiculous if I put up a similar photo with a bunch of really hot men all over me. I would think guys would see that and think- woah, she's high maintenance, and loves attention, and is probably a slut. Look how desperate she looks. She parties way too much. Whatever.

[LaraC]

I agree its lame. Its completely evident from the girls' faces they have absolutely no idea nor care who this guy is. Also, looking at the rest of his photos will seal the verdict. Just like a massively overwieght woman in heavy makeup, surrounded by a few hot bartenders isnt fooling too many guys. I find it like a red flag announcing 'hi I'm insecure, please be fooled by this picture into believing I have lots of hot friends for you to compete with' Nahhh.

[Miss Peach]

Well that's the reason you are getting a bad response rate.

"hi" or "how was your weekend" implies a boring person to me. Sorry I won't be pursuing that, unless maybe you are top 1% attractiveness.

I think you should be a bit more selective in the swiping so that when you get matches you can actually be bothered having a real conversation. You are blaming them but you are setting the tone with bland messages.

 

If I get a couple of intelligent/funny messages from someone then I'll suggest meeting up. I'm not going to become someone's penpal. There is only so much you can learn online anyway.

 

I have to agree. I don't even bother replying to those messages because they never go anywhere. At least ask a quick question about their profile. Asking 'So how did you get into zxy' brings on a much more interesting conversation and doesn't take much extra time to type than how was your weekend.