katiegrl Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 (edited) I did that to my wife once when we'd only been dating a couple of months. I felt awful about it.... If he seems great otherwise...... This was their *second* date. Not a long term relationship or even a few weeks/months wherein she has already determined he is or seems "great." This is the time where he should be on his best behavior (same for her). Is this is best behavior? Forgetting his wallet? Really? And then promising to pay OP back when they get to his car ....but then instead of paying her back, takes her to a second venue, and expecting her to pay for THAT too? Come on now ...really? Ugh, what a total turn off, and sorry, on a second date, no I don't buy the "forgot wallet" excuse. BS. NOT with the reaction he gave you. If it had been me, on a second date, if a guy told me "oops, forgot my wallet, " I would have replied "oops, forgot mine too....why don't we just call this date a bust and both go home." I probably would not have even wanted him to drive me, I would have called a friend or uber if necessary. Yeah I am tough, but I absolutely hate bull shyt, which this was! Note I have no issue with splitting, or paying. But THIS was flat out manipulative. Next! Edited January 26, 2016 by katiegrl 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 LOL! True story... I even rang my Dad once to ask him how to get the annoying light to turn off and stop flashing at me... Then when he asked which one it was and I realised... Yeah I felt dumb so I didn't tell him I just told him it had stopped... I also have the uncanny knack of running out of fuel just as I pull up to or near a petrol station. I pushed one car in once... I have only run out of fuel once away from a petrol station and my bosses came out to rescue me on the basis that no one would understand what I meant if I said the second lot of forest bit in the lay by by the pile of logs if I called the RAC... Its only in the past 2/3 years that I have stopped carrying a fuel can in the boot... We all have quirks. Admittedly some more than others. So yep... I can "get" that one! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Years ago a woman posted that she went on a date to a nice restaurant, dinner was ordered, and the guy ordered 2 bottles of expensive wine and proceeded to get smashed during dinner. She says she wants to leave, so she goes to the bathroom, and when she came back they had already tossed him out because he caused a scene. He was gone, and she was stuck with an expensive bill. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Why didn't he get his wallet? It was just in his car, not like he left it at home or anything. I think he just didn't want to pay, or couldn't afford it. If I forgot my wallet on a date, I would try to do anything to make it up to the girl. Pay her back as soon as possible, or suggest a really fun date. (Which I would be paying for) Maybe best to forget about him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 This was their *second* date. Not a long term relationship or even a few weeks/months wherein she has already determined he is or seems "great." This is the time where he should be on his best behavior (same for her). Is this is best behavior? Forgetting his wallet? Really? And then promising to pay OP back when they get to his car ....but then instead of paying her back, takes her to a second venue, and expecting her to pay for THAT too? Come on now ...really? Ugh, what a total turn off, and sorry, on a second date, no I don't buy the "forgot wallet" excuse. BS. NOT with the reaction he gave you. If it had been me, on a second date, if a guy told me "oops, forgot my wallet, " I would have replied "oops, forgot mine too....why don't we just call this date a bust and both go home." I probably would not have even wanted him to drive me, I would have called a friend or uber if necessary. Yeah I am tough, but I absolutely hate bull shyt, which this was! Note I have no issue with splitting, or paying. But THIS was flat out manipulative. Next! I agree with this....what this guy did is pretty obvious. Link to post Share on other sites
Wewon Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Years ago a woman posted that she went on a date to a nice restaurant, dinner was ordered, and the guy ordered 2 bottles of expensive wine and proceeded to get smashed during dinner. She says she wants to leave, so she goes to the bathroom, and when she came back they had already tossed him out because he caused a scene. He was gone, and she was stuck with an expensive bill. LMAO! This thread is getting pretty hilarious. Link to post Share on other sites
SSJROMANCE Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 If you are looking for free meals every time you go out then stay home. These days this shouldn't be a huge concern but obviously it is seeing that you had to write a post about it. If this becomes a pattern then that's a different story. But he paid and now you paid although more than him - big deal? I have an idea. Next date make sure you don't bring a purse. Then when he says he forgot his wallet offer the establishment his services for the dish washer to pay for the bill. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Why didn't he get his wallet? It was just in his car, not like he left it at home or anything. I think he just didn't want to pay, or couldn't afford it. If I forgot my wallet on a date, I would try to do anything to make it up to the girl. Pay her back as soon as possible, or suggest a really fun date. (Which I would be paying for) Maybe best to forget about him. Exactly! Most men would be mortified if that happened, and just gone to his car to get his wallet! This was just such obvious bullshyt. Again, I have no issue with paying my way...and if we continued dating, paying for him on occasion too. I work ...earn my own money. Just don't like being manipulated. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 If you are looking for free meals every time you go out then stay home. These days this shouldn't be a huge concern but obviously it is seeing that you had to write a post about it. If this becomes a pattern then that's a different story. But he paid and now you paid although more than him - big deal? I have an idea. Next date make sure you don't bring a purse. Then when he says he forgot his wallet offer the establishment his services for the dish washer to pay for the bill. How old are you? OP, I would have expected him to pay at the bar. Agree with xoxo 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 This shouldn't be an issue unless it happens more than once. People have different things that they are on top of, I've never understood how people run out of gas when there is a gauge right there in front of them. Yet it happens and I doubt that they are running a $50 hustle. Nobody deserves to be scrutinized over a single misstep that could have happened to anyone. **^ The answer ^** One time ok whatever, two times and now it's a pattern and time to eject. Single instances happen innocently but trends don't. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Met him and we drove my car across town to see a show. After we sat down, the host came to collect $4 show fee each, that is when he told me he realized he forgot his wallet in his car. I didn't think too much of it. I paid (he said he will give the money back to me when we get back), we ordered dinner, had a good time. the bill is about $45 (in addition to the show fee). Then he suggest we do something else. I suggested to just walk and he drove us to a nearby beach, we end up sitting in a bar. Parking and bar total to be another $35. Maybe I am misunderstanding, but his car was on the other side of town. He couldn't just run out to it and get his wallet? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I went on second date with this guy I met online. Met him and we drove my car across town to see a show. After we sat down, the host came to collect $4 show fee each, that is when he told me he realized he forgot his wallet in his car. I didn't think too much of it. I paid (he said he will give the money back to me when we get back), we ordered dinner, had a good time. the bill is about $45 (in addition to the show fee). Then he suggest we do something else. I suggested to just walk and he drove us to a nearby beach, we end up sitting in a bar. Parking and bar total to be another $35. All these time I wasn't suspecting anything. But since I got home, I was beginning to feel edgy. I don't know why. He did pay for our first date. I think it was maybe $25 total. He said he wants to see me in 2 days. I don't know if I should see him again. I don't really worry about the money spent but I worry if he is honest, playing games, or just plain broke, or it was just an honest oversight. I mean, if I were the man and forgot my wallet, I would go back to my car after dinner first before suggesting to more places right? Do any of you have such experience to share? He sounds like a seasoned scammer. A real, honest man would have made it a point to either go get his wallet or after the date make it a point to pay you right away. My feeling is he did it intentionally. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Maybe I am misunderstanding, but his car was on the other side of town. He couldn't just run out to it and get his wallet? LOL, even worse. WTF, they meet, but then *he* couldn't drive them to the restaurant? Gee, wonder why. He sounds super nice! Pfft, not. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 OP, already in your gut you have a bad feeling about this guy. That should be enough to cut ties with him. Now, if you want to get even, which I think you should - to teach this douche a lesson - go on the third date. This time he pays. If he makes any excuses to not pay, call him out on it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 (edited) OP, already in your gut you have a bad feeling about this guy. That should be enough to cut ties with him. Now, if you want to get even, which I think you should - to teach this douche a lesson - go on the third date. This time he pays. If he makes any excuses to not pay, call him out on it. Yeah and make sure he takes you to the most expensive restaurant in town too. On second thought, not. Don't waste your time, he is not worth it. This just irks me to no end. Second date ----no wallet, won't drive, so not only did he manipulate you into paying for both your meals, but he makes you drive too, so he doesn't have to pay for gas, parking, and gets to *conveniently* leave his wallet in his car. Ugh. What a tool....I hope you decide to next him. Edited January 26, 2016 by katiegrl Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Yeah and make sure he takes you to the most expensive restaurant in town too. On second thought, not. Don't waste your time, he is not worth it. This just irks me to no end. Second date ----no wallet, won't drive, so not only did he manipulate you into paying for both your meals, but he makes you drive too, so he doesn't have to pay for gas, parking, and gets to *conveniently* leave his wallet in his car. Ugh. What a tool....I hope you decide to next him. What will they do the next date? I bet he offers to buy her a $5 ice cream and suggests a walk, then go back to his place. - Spends little to nothing - Tries to get laid She should next him but I don't blame her for wanting to get to even for his "forgot my wallet" scam... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I hope all the bitter women here continue to stay jaded and single. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 (edited) I hope all the bitter women here continue to stay jaded and single. Last I checked truth seeker was a guy....lol As for me, nah, not jaded at all. Just perceptive, intuitive and know BS when I encounter it. Edited January 26, 2016 by katiegrl 3 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 I hope all the bitter women here continue to stay jaded and single. When some guys say this, they often assume the genders on the thread are female= "the guy is a loser" and male = "oh give him a chance" But often when you actually look to see who said what, the guys are harder on the guys than the women are LMAO. And same for the women. I bet most of the posts the you take issue with were written by men. Look up their posting history and see who's who. I got a pretty big laugh out of this on another thread where a guy suggested that "women weren't participating because they con people" and it turned out the majority of the thread was female posters who had expressed disgust with the women the OP was referring to. Including a couple examples of women who had been similarly victimized. He just assumed they were men. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Jejangles Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Just to join in on the scamming guy stories... A friend of mine went out on a date with a guy to a bar and halfway through he yelled out "shots for everyone". Later on, it became clear my friend and this guy were not hitting it off. He leaves and as she is about to leave, the bartender said "you need to pay for all those shots". He'd stuck her with the bill! It definitely happens. To the OP, you need to go with your gut and actions here. If this guy is a good one, he will be trying to make up to you for paying for the date and make it clear the next one is entirely on him. If he's not, he won't... Just keep your eyes and ears open! Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 To be perfectly clear: It's NOT that he forgot his wallet that is the flag. It's that he: 1. Said he left it in the car and would pay her back, but didn't follow through 2. **biggest issue** Went on to up the cost of part 2 of the date, which she also had to pay for If I had invited someone on a date and then realised I'd forgotten my wallet, I would be falling over myself trying to make it right. and this would be especially true on date #2, where the guy would not know my character. I certainly would not suggest additional activities that cost even more money. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweet honeydew Posted January 26, 2016 Author Share Posted January 26, 2016 Wow. I went to sleep and woke up with lots of feedback and questions. Thank you. :-) 1. We drove my car across town 30 minutes to the show so we never went back to his car until we parted last night. 2. I forget my own wallet sometimes so I took it as an innocent mistake. I agree people are innocent until proven guilty. However, a man who lost his wallet & key is like a soldier lost his gun and hamlet. I don't feel good about it. Bad, I know. double standard. What can I say? That's just how I feel. 3. He did mention drove out to club for 2nd outing but I declined. I suggested walking and thought that's where we were going. It turns out he was walking me to a bar with live music. It is a combination of facts that make me uncomfortable, now I realize. We drove my car because he said he just sold his, and only use his "service" vehicle right now so I said we can drive mine. That itself is not a big deal if there's nothing else. I guess I am also uncomfortable about his lack of consideration on the 2nd outing. I know some of you believe taking turns paying, but that is not what he and I believe. He said a man should be a man and head of household which is my belief too. I was also uncomfortable that, despite my obvious uneasiness, he wanted to dance in the big empty lobby (where security guard came and stop us) He abided but call them party pooper. I don't think I will go out with him again. Not just because he forgot his wallet. It is the experience of courtship make me uncomfortable so he is not the right man for me. That is what dating is about, to get a taste how it would be like to be a person. I don't feel I need to get even. The money spent is ok. I am generous with friends. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweet honeydew Posted January 26, 2016 Author Share Posted January 26, 2016 How old are you? OP, I would have expected him to pay at the bar. Agree with xoxo We are both 50+ Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 We are both 50+ That surprises me. If he was sincere, he was still unresourceful, and resourcefulness is very important to me in a man. Ok, you forgot your wallet. It happens. What can you do? At the very least, I'd suggest driving back to my car for the second part of the date. Surely you could find bar there, and I could get my wallet, pay back if warranted, and have my wallet for the second part of the date. It just sounds like he's either slow in the thinking dept, uncaring, or manipulative. It would bug the HECK out of me if I forgot my wallet. He seemed quite chill and relaxed :/ The combo of no car and no wallet makes me wonder if he's just broke.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 We are both 50+ I meant the poster's age I quoted OP, not yours. Link to post Share on other sites
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