spanz1 Posted February 4, 2016 Share Posted February 4, 2016 Revenge affairs always work out. And just like you plan. Really? I thought they sometimes went south....in a hurry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author higgsboson Posted February 4, 2016 Author Share Posted February 4, 2016 I probably know more about affairs than most people and what I've found is that women tend to have affairs when they are thinking of leaving a marriage. Women huh? Yes TrustedthenBusted, generally men have affairs for sex and could be perfectly content with their marriage and happy with their wife but will have an affair anyway - just for the sex. Women generally have affairs to test the waters and because they are not happy with their husband and their marriage. Someone on this site referred to it as an "exit affair." Its why only 1% of the Ashly Madison site members were women. Something like 30% of women have affairs but only 1% were on that site because women don't have affairs just for sex. The reason I mentioned it is because, in all probability, my wife was thinking about jumping ship and was looking at what was out there. She probably wanted a new husband but came up with a married felon sex offender. Well, now its my turn to see what's out there and I'm guessing I can do just a little bit better than a married felon sex offender. Time will tell. Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Yes TrustedthenBusted, generally men have affairs for sex and could be perfectly content with their marriage and happy with their wife but will have an affair anyway - just for the sex. Women generally have affairs to test the waters and because they are not happy with their husband and their marriage. Someone on this site referred to it as an "exit affair." Its why only 1% of the Ashly Madison site members were women. Something like 30% of women have affairs but only 1% were on that site because women don't have affairs just for sex. The reason I mentioned it is because, in all probability, my wife was thinking about jumping ship and was looking at what was out there. She probably wanted a new husband but came up with a married felon sex offender. Well, now its my turn to see what's out there and I'm guessing I can do just a little bit better than a married felon sex offender. Time will tell. Sad that you will lower yourself so you can try and be as bad as your WW. Having an affair is not being in any way better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author higgsboson Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 Sad that you will lower yourself so you can try and be as bad as your WW. First of all, I'm not trying to be bad - that's just nonsense. Second, I don't see anything sad about spending 2 years in Mexico. I'll be living like a king! Third, and this is the big, I'm looking to jump ship and so I'll do an A to B comparison. If I find someone better than my wife, I'll dump her. If I don't, I'll keep her. Link to post Share on other sites
Trishern Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Yes TrustedthenBusted, generally men have affairs for sex and could be perfectly content with their marriage and happy with their wife but will have an affair anyway - just for the sex. Women generally have affairs to test the waters and because they are not happy with their husband and their marriage. Someone on this site referred to it as an "exit affair." Its why only 1% of the Ashly Madison site members were women. Something like 30% of women have affairs but only 1% were on that site because women don't have affairs just for sex. The reason I mentioned it is because, in all probability, my wife was thinking about jumping ship and was looking at what was out there. She probably wanted a new husband but came up with a married felon sex offender. Well, now its my turn to see what's out there and I'm guessing I can do just a little bit better than a married felon sex offender. Time will tell. There are so many women having affairs who don't want to leave their marriages. Your wife may not be one of them though. What she did to you was the lowest of the low. I'm not surprised you want revenge.... I honestly don't blame you. I just could not wake up or sleep next to a person who was so nasty a to lie like that. I'd probably plan something much more awful.... that she would not see coming. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 First of all, I'm not trying to be bad - that's just nonsense. Second, I don't see anything sad about spending 2 years in Mexico. I'll be living like a king! Third, and this is the big, I'm looking to jump ship and so I'll do an A to B comparison. If I find someone better than my wife, I'll dump her. If I don't, I'll keep her. Sometimes things don't always work out like we planned. While you may think she will sit idly by waiting for you to act like a teenager in Mexico instead of a responsible adult with children... She just might blind side you and divorce you first. I am very sorry your wife cheated... You did not deserve that. But boy do you have a lot to learn... And one of those things is not treating others like they have no value or worth. Your plan sounds like you intend to use others for your personal pleasure and then just discard them when they have served your purpose. I think you need to realize that all humans deserve to be treated with respect... Especially yourself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 I've known a friend of mine & her sister since they were young teenagers. They had a really hard time when they were young. Their father decided that chasing women was a far higher priority than his daughters. He was never there for them when they needed their Dad. It was very sad. The oldest was one of those girls who clung like crazy to the first boy that showed any interest. He cheated on her with her best friend. She tried to take her life. It was such a horrible time. She married her 2nd boyfriend & fortunately that's worked out really well. My friend turned to alcohol. Got herself into some very dangerous situations. She'd been gang raped & had an abortion by the time she was 16. She would get blackout drunk & was very promiscuous. It took her a lot of pain & a lot of work to 'find herself' in life. Their memories are a litany of pain & disappointment where their father is concerned. He's now in his late 70's. Last week his current wife was diagnosed with cancer. She's been given 6 months at most. Tragic. He's terrified of being alone. He's finding everything very hard to cope with at the moment. What he needs more than anything now is family. Family to lean on in his time of need. Family to love, support & help him. Both of his daughters feel sorry for him. They're kind, compassionate, successful women now. They've both expressed feelings of guilt to me but neither feel that they can get over a lifetime of neglect & pain too give him what he so desperately wants. He's terrified of being alone, dying alone. Their Mum died of cancer several years ago. He didn't even return his daughters phone calls. Selfishness & womanizing kept him from them as children. Guilt has kept him away as adults. Poor sad man. Link to post Share on other sites
understand50 Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 higgsboson, I read both your threads. From what I see, you are not reconciling, but engaging in revenge. Reconciling is a two way street, you are not keeping up your end. If you have given your wife a second chance, you must keep your wedding vows, if you cannot you should divorce and leave. My other, thought, an not my own but others as well, is that your wife may not, and my opinion, should not stay in the marriage as you "see what's out there!" She cheated on you once, she has her own income, and if I was her, I would leave you, as no self respecting person should put up with this. You, gave her another chance, you told her the marriage would go on. If you will not, can not, put in the hard work to achieve this, I would counsel, her to leave. Remember, she made mistake, but it is not a life sentence to be used against her over and over again. It does not give you leave to do immoral things. Keep your Vows, or leave. Lastly, when you have children, your life is not your own. It is on you to weight what your actions and behavor does to affected them and how they grow up. By your actions, I do not see you as a good role model. Your wife showed them that is OK to cheat, and now you are going to show them as well. Spouse are replaceable, promises are not to be kept. A honorable man, would have left your wife, and done all he could to stay in your children's lives. You need to decide, what you are and what your values are. I hope you make a better decision, then what is written in your two threads. If you are going to reconcile, then do it. Do the hard work, do not look upon it a "pass" to go out and so as you please. I wish you luck...... Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 How can reconcile when his wife never admitted to the affair? She's behaved in a nasty manner and I think she deserves everything and anything she gets TBH. I advise you to protect your assets..keep some personal money saved where she doesn't know about it. Having an affair is bad enough...but the whole thing with the police....is unforgivable..she's taken you for a fool. I'm suprised you want to get married a third time though. Especially to a younger woman ...who will most likely want kids...you're getting on 1 Link to post Share on other sites
flowergirl14 Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 There are some cheaters like higgsboson's wife and my serial cheating h who really dont deserve consideration. They shall reap what they sewed. Link to post Share on other sites
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