Author donvito Posted January 7, 2016 Author Share Posted January 7, 2016 If your girlfriend is so amazing why were you flirting with other women? I have a feeling this is not the only incident your girlfriend is mad about. I think she hurt your ego by breaking up with you. You just want to prove to yourself you can get her back. In everything you are saying I don't read any sincere regret or any empathy for what you put her through. I was visiting my friends college and I got drunk and was texting a girl there, I didn't do any thing and I didn't even meet up with the girl. Not trying to justify it but everyone thinks I'm the devil on here lol. If she hurt my ego then why have I been so upset the past 2weeks? she is constantly on my mind. I do feel bad about what I did and how I treated her and I wouldn't want some guy to do that to my sister. I honestly don't know what to think Link to post Share on other sites
CherryVanilla Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 That is a really good point, do you think I should never contact her? What do you think I should do? I think you should let her go because 1. You hurt her enough. Nothing you could do would make her feel better about this situation or see you as a nice guy. 2. If you haven't apologized yet and you need to do it in order to feel better about yourself (I am this kind of person, I feel terrible if I don't apologize), do it. Talk to her and say you're sorry. But don't ask her to be your girlfriend again, don't expect her to forgive you as well. Say you're sorry and let her go. 3. She was the one who had the last word and broke up with you. If anything, she's the one who should now try to make amends. However, considering how hurt it is, I am sorry to tell you but I think this is a lost cause. Link to post Share on other sites
Author donvito Posted January 7, 2016 Author Share Posted January 7, 2016 "idk what the future holds" is a "hell no" Trust me. She didn't have the courage to tell you "hell no" and is putting you down lightly. You will learn everything eventually, my son. So you think I'm screwed? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I do feel bad about what I did and how I treated her and I wouldn't want some guy to do that to my sister. I honestly don't know what to think There you go! You screwed up. Accept it. Her family know and therefore will never forgive you. You know family don't forget. In 20 years you will still the loser boyfriend who texted other women. Move on and do better next time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 (edited) I was visiting my friends college and I got drunk and was texting a girl there, I didn't do any thing and I didn't even meet up with the girl. Not trying to justify it but everyone thinks I'm the devil on here lol. I am sorry but this^^ doesn't jive with what you said in your original post (below). Long story sorry, Gf loved me a lot, would do anything for me. I took advantage of her and I don't know why. She found text messages from 3 months ago in my phone of me flirting with a girl( and little things I did that builded up to this..... Leave her alone. Lesson learned for the next girl. Appreciate and love her WHILE you are with her. Not treat her like trash, and realize how amazing she is AFTER she dumps you. It doesn't work that way. Sorry, but IMO there is nothing you can do but chalk it up to you screwed up and big lesson learned to take with you into your next relationship. Edited January 7, 2016 by katiegrl 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Xiomn Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 So you think I'm screwed? Yes. Don't worry brah I screwed up my last relationship too. You'll always regret it but you soon learn to just accept it and move on as there's nothing you can do I was reading an article today actually of a study and it said (unsurprisingly perhaps) that one of peoples biggest regrets in life was something to do with relationships, can't remember off top of my head. Feelsbadman. Link to post Share on other sites
xcupid Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 You're not in NC at all. 2 weeks strong? Nope. Move on. It's over. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Long story sorry, Gf loved me a lot, would do anything for me. I took advantage of her and I don't know why. She found text messages from 3 months ago in my phone of me flirting with a girl(and little things I did that builded up to this), she flipped out and went home and cried to her parents. We went on a break, her dad blocked my phone number. (I think she told her dad we broke up but she told me that we were on a break. (when in relationship never thought her parents were really in to me because I'm nervous when speaking to them) While on the break she would text me we would fight/trying to work things out and then she hung out with me on my birthday. 2 weeks in to the break, she broke up with me, and said "she wants to be alone for awhile". I think her dad found out that we were still talking and hung out on my birthday. (So he convinced/made her breakup with me). Then I asked while she was breaking up with me "could you see us together in the future if not I'm going to move on" her answer was "I don't know what the future holds"(that means she doesn't want me to move on or she is trying to move on without seeing me with somebody else) So I'm doing the no contact rule right now, and I'm 2 weeks strong! If she doesn't text me back after no contact period or she is blunt with the respond, do you think I should send flowers to her work saying to meet me on our would be 2 year anniversary? the card saying: "Ill be at starbucks on feb2nd at 4pm" ? (Making the card sound less needy by saying "i'll be at" then the needy way "meet me at") So my question is if this is a good idea or not? Is there something else I should do Please help I don't know who to ask and i'm scared if she doesn't reply! I took advantage of her and I don't know why. -- Until you can answer that question for yourself, there is no point in attempting to reconcile or make amends. You must reconcile yourself before you can have a relationship with any woman. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I was visiting my friends college and I got drunk and was texting a girl there, I didn't do any thing and I didn't even meet up with the girl. Not trying to justify it but everyone thinks I'm the devil on here lol. If she hurt my ego then why have I been so upset the past 2weeks? she is constantly on my mind. I do feel bad about what I did and how I treated her and I wouldn't want some guy to do that to my sister. I honestly don't know what to think My friend, have you ever heard the addage "a drunk man's thoughts . . . Don't make excuses . . . drunk, sober . . . either she is everything you want or she isn't. Even a drunk man who truly loves a woman doesn't play like that. I'd say there were things about her that weren't working for you or you weren't all in for some reason. Don't cause her more pain. And, if she's "me", she's not thinking about you anymore anyway. She had a good life before you came along, hopefully, she went back to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Flowers are dead in a week. If she's strong, independent and secure in herself, so are you. Sorry to be harsh, but sometimes that's what people need and it's for your own good as well as hers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author donvito Posted January 7, 2016 Author Share Posted January 7, 2016 Flowers are dead in a week. If she's strong, independent and secure in herself, so are you. Sorry to be harsh, but sometimes that's what people need and it's for your own good as well as hers. A bit brutal but I appreciate the honesty. Link to post Share on other sites
Author donvito Posted January 7, 2016 Author Share Posted January 7, 2016 Flowers are dead in a week. If she's strong, independent and secure in herself, so are you. Sorry to be harsh, but sometimes that's what people need and it's for your own good as well as hers. A bit brutal but thanks for the advice one question I am only 20 could it be because I'm so young and immature? Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I say do it and try. Its worth a shot and certainly can't hurt. Keep trying, the worst she can do is tell you to piss off and block you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author donvito Posted January 7, 2016 Author Share Posted January 7, 2016 I say do it and try. Its worth a shot and certainly can't hurt. Keep trying, the worst she can do is tell you to piss off and block you. That honestly is the best reply I've gotten so far. What do I have to lose lol. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 (edited) That honestly is the best reply I've gotten so far. What do I have to lose lol. So doing something that could possibly (and most likely would) piss her off is the best advice? Why would you want to risk that? Do you care about this girl? Leave her alone for chrissakes and let her move on peacefully. That would be the most caring thing you could do. You are only 20 years old......you have your whole life ahead of you. You dated her what, three months? Frankly, I don't think you know what you want...and if she went back to you, the same shyt would just happen again. You are just too young (and immature... you said it yourself) to be tied down in a committed relationship. You only want her now .....because you don't have her. It is very easy to miss and want someone when the pressure and responsibilitites of a relationship are off the table. Just let her move on, and you do the same. Lesson learned! Edited January 7, 2016 by katiegrl Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Yeah I don't agree with the above. I think you're right Donvito that she's left the door open for a reason. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Yeah I don't agree with the above. I think you're right Donvito that she's left the door open for a reason. Okay so let's say they do get back together? What then? Suddenly he's gonna be ready for a committed relationship? No he is 20 years old, of course he is not ready. And the same shyt will most likely happen again.....almost guaranteed. And once again, he will break her heart. OP, move on from this and take some time to get to know yourself and what motivates you to behave as you do. If you don't, the same shyt will continue to repeat itself...with every girl you date. Wish you the best... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Okay so let's say they do get back together? What then? Suddenly he's gonna be ready for a committed relationship? If you don't, the same shyt will continue to repeat itself... Well, that's for him to decide. He stated his flirty texts she found were from 3 months ago and he didn't even do anything beyond texting. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 Well, that's for him to decide. He stated his flirty texts she found were from 3 months ago and he didn't even do anything beyond texting. He also said he took advantage of her and "he didn't know why." Which is very telling of his state of mind at the time he was actually *in* the relationship....and now. It's been two weeks since they broke up.....people don't change much in two weeks. But OP, go ahead and send flowers if you want. Get back together even if she's willing! Often times people need to learn the same lesson several times before it finally sinks in... G'luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Winterina Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 That honestly is the best reply I've gotten so far. What do I have to lose lol. How extremely selfish of you!!! You took one out of all comments that fitted what YOU needed to do for YOURSELF. It is reflected in the words "what do I have to lose lol". There is nothing LOL about it, first of all, grow up. You only think what do YOU have to gain and lose, not once have you thought what does your ex need. And she most certainly does not need a guy like you. Do the mature and kind thing and let her be. Do not poke something that is trying to heal from the hurt you caused. It does not give you any points as a great heart-breaker, it makes you an a**hole that women will ran away from in the future. Have you wondered what do you have to offer to this girl and is it something completely different from what you already gave her, which apparently did not make her happy? What can SHE gain and lose? Do you know yourself enough to know what you can and cannot do, rather than just making empty promises based on wishful thinking of who you want to be? At the age of 20 and with your midset, no, you have no idea about relationships and about yourself yet. Let her be and let her find her happiness with someone else without wasting any more of her time. You did enough damage. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I think she still wants you but is still reeling from the text thing. I think you should keep trying to get her back and work on yourself at the same time. Just try to be the best man you can and keep trying with her. She's given enough signs that the door is not closed. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 I think she still wants you but is still reeling from the text thing. I think you should keep trying to get her back and work on yourself at the same time. Just try to be the best man you can and keep trying with her. She's given enough signs that the door is not closed. What signs are you referring to Popsicle? Other than her saying "no one knows what the future holds," which means zip in the grand scheme of things, sounds like she has pretty much closed that door and has no intention of opening it again......not for him anyway. He needs to figure himself out ......figure out why he took advantage of her, why he felt inclined to send text messages (plural) to other women ...and all the other little things he did throughout the relationship that brought this relationship to the point of no return. Also, the fact her dad can't stand him is also extremely telling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author donvito Posted January 7, 2016 Author Share Posted January 7, 2016 What signs are you referring to Popsicle? Other than her saying "no one knows what the future holds," which means zip in the grand scheme of things, sounds like she has pretty much closed that door and has no intention of opening it again......not for him anyway. He needs to figure himself out ......figure out why he took advantage of her, why he felt inclined to send text messages (plural) to other women ...and all the other little things he did throughout the relationship that brought this relationship to the point of no return. Also, the fact her dad can't stand him is also extremely telling. She also did say crying "idk if I could ever get over you" to me 2 weeks before she said " idk what the future holds" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Grewd Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 That honestly is the best reply I've gotten so far. What do I have to lose lol. Seriously? Remember what I said about telling you what you needed to hear versus what you want to hear? It's one of the FEW comments supporting what you want to do, the majority is against and is more likely to be correct. You only see it as the best reply because it's the one you want, there's no point helping you as you won't listen. What do you have to lose? Nothing? Really? If you open your eyes you'll see you've got her to lose, but if that's nothing then please go ahead giving her flowers making sure she resents you more. Better than you reeling her back in only to continue with your selfishness, she deserves better. You may expect the forum to just focus on helping only you, but we're aware you're not the only one affected by our advice. I won't help you if it won't help her as well, smoothing over it with flowers is not dealing with the core issue here. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 7, 2016 Share Posted January 7, 2016 (edited) She also did say crying "idk if I could ever get over you" to me 2 weeks before she said " idk what the future holds" I did not say she was over you.... obviously she still has some feelings... but so much shyt has gone down (and I am sure much more than what you have written here)....and with her dad disliking you and all.... I think she realizes she deserves better. Not to mention, I highly doubt her dad would ever even allow her to get back together with you .... even if she wanted to. You are both so young...perhaps down the road (like in a few years) after you have had time to reflect and introspect... you can re-visit the idea of a relationship assuming the feelings are still there. But for now, dude, seriously, let her move on in PEACE. And you do the same. Reflect, introspect, figure yourself out. Edited January 7, 2016 by katiegrl Link to post Share on other sites
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