Author ilovemusic3 Posted January 23, 2016 Author Share Posted January 23, 2016 I'm a woman lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chris2016 Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 I should rephrase this, am I the only 26 year old that can't date, it's not by choice. Can't get a date, or can't date? I'm 39, male. I would like to date. I can't get a date, not by choice. I just don't get the opening/interest from women to approach them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chris2016 Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 I've never had a bf, and I have to do online dating because there is nowhere for me to meet guys in person except my meetup groups which are a complete lost cause and waste of time. I'm doing Meetup too. Why do you say it's a complete lost cause and waste of time? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilovemusic3 Posted January 24, 2016 Author Share Posted January 24, 2016 I say this about the meetups because I'll talk to people for a while, but I never end up finding anybody to date, or any friends. Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 What kind of meetup groups are you going to? Are they activity groups were you're actually doing something together? Or are they groups where you just join to socialize and network. I recommend the former, if all you've been doing is the latter. Link to post Share on other sites
ExtraSpice Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 And why do I have to be the 1 to approach guys, and if I did they still wouldn't be interested. Why don't you want to initiate? If you go out and you see someone you may be interested in then you should approach or initiate. And if someone is talking to you for 20 mins and they don't ask your contact info then why don't you take the first step and ask their contact info? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
haikss Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Im a 26 yr. old female, I've never been in a relationship, and I've only ever casually dated 1 guy, but that was over a year ago. I can't date because guys aren't interested in me. Am I the only 1 in this situation? No you are not the only one in this situation. Im 26 male and have the same problem. Theres just not enough interest/attraction going on. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted January 26, 2016 Share Posted January 26, 2016 Why don't you want to initiate? If you go out and you see someone you may be interested in then you should approach or initiate. And if someone is talking to you for 20 mins and they don't ask your contact info then why don't you take the first step and ask their contact info? The OP says why do I have to be the one to approach guys? Well you don't since the status-quo of reality, society, still usually places the onus on guys shoulders, but now you know how a lot of guys feel 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExtraSpice Posted January 29, 2016 Share Posted January 29, 2016 The OP says why do I have to be the one to approach guys? Well you don't since the status-quo of reality, society, still usually places the onus on guys shoulders, but now you know how a lot of guys feel Yeah I understand that. The status-quo does place the burden on guys shoulders. Which does take a toll at times. I was just trying to say if someone is so bothered by the fact that no one is approaching them then no need to be so fixated by what the status-quo is. Might as well take the lead. I for one like if someone does that. Link to post Share on other sites
JustGettingBy Posted January 29, 2016 Share Posted January 29, 2016 No you are not the only one in this situation. Im 26 male and have the same problem. Theres just not enough interest/attraction going on. haikss, meet ilovemusic3 ilovemusic3, mett haikss problem solved. Okay, on a more serious note, lots of people who are very datable seem to struggle for some unknown reason. I'm a 24 year old guy with a fair amount for friends, and the woman friends I have often tell me I "would be a good catch" (I'd ask some of them out, but they're all in relationships), yet I seem to be stuck single for reasons unknown. Just because very few people you know seem to be in this situation doesn't make it universally true. For example, lets say 5% of people in their 20's are 'very datable but stuck single'. Out of every million people in their twenties, 50,000 are stuck like that. So no, you're not alone. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 (edited) Yeah I understand that. The status-quo does place the burden on guys shoulders. Which does take a toll at times. I was just trying to say if someone is so bothered by the fact that no one is approaching them then no need to be so fixated by what the status-quo is. Might as well take the lead. I for one like if someone does that. ya, and too many people argue and say that us guys love the chase, while I personally hate it, and he's not supposed to hate or detest taking initiative, taking charge, etc. Edited January 30, 2016 by BronzeAgeJaeger217 Link to post Share on other sites
ExtraSpice Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Yeah I agree. There is this idea that some how men love the challenge. And though there may be truth to that, I detest playing games. I prefer to be straightforward but not everyone follows that school of thought. It should be a 50-50 effort from both sides. But that is just my personal preference and opinion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 Okay, on a more serious note, lots of people who are very datable seem to struggle for some unknown reason. I'm a 24 year old guy with a fair amount for friends, and the woman friends I have often tell me I "would be a good catch" (I'd ask some of them out, but they're all in relationships), yet I seem to be stuck single for reasons unknown. Just because very few people you know seem to be in this situation doesn't make it universally true. One of my college friends was (still is) a very good looking guy. When I was in school (many moons ago) he was one of those guys that we'd be sitting around without him there, and all of the girls from every race/ethnicity you could think of would be talking about how good looking he was and all of them would agree he was. Hot ones too. I can't even begin to think of how many hot women have thought he was handsome over the years, but it must be countless. He also went to a really good college. Well, WE both did. Fast forward circa two decades. He ended up recently going out with (they will eventually marry) one of his good female friends from college and I knew her too. Objectively, she is not even what most guys would consider cute, and I remember him distinctly saying he wasn't attracted to her in college. But they get along so well and have known each other for like 20 years now. They are both ridiculously liberal, over-opinionated, aging hipster urbanites who like to party. Meant for each other. I think at the end of the day, that's what women are looking for, their specific type. Yes, they'll have flings with hot guys and jerks, but they are looking for their specific type. And that is why average to even decent looking guys with jobs, and masters degrees and good senses of humor struggle. It's more about finding your pea in a pod and if you are not it, women will pass at some point. Some guys just get lucky and find it earlier. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 1, 2016 Share Posted February 1, 2016 It should be a 50-50 effort from both sides. But that is just my personal preference and opinion. You could turn gay and then that would happen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NVO Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 I think at the end of the day, that's what women are looking for, their specific type. Yes, they'll have flings with hot guys and jerks, but they are looking for their specific type. And that is why average to even decent looking guys with jobs, and masters degrees and good senses of humor struggle. It's more about finding your pea in a pod and if you are not it, women will pass at some point. Some guys just get lucky and find it earlier. Very interesting post. Could you clarify this last alinea though? Pea in a pod like a needle in a haystack? Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 2, 2016 Share Posted February 2, 2016 Very interesting post. Could you clarify this last alinea though? Pea in a pod like a needle in a haystack? It means very much alike, cut from the same cloth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExtraSpice Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 You could turn gay and then that would happen. Hahaha I could give that a shot. It would improve my odds by quite a bit. But I will have to take a rain check. lol Link to post Share on other sites
MyrtleMayhem Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 This is the story of my life. I don't date. Don't get me wrong I have dated here and there in the past but nothing serious. I have a lot holding me back plus I think deep down I am just not destined to find "the one". Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 OP should keep trying online dating Link to post Share on other sites
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