Should I cancel my vacation with him?

[winny]

Yeah,

 

Now i'm feeling super confused. He's been sending me snapchat videos and pics doing normal stuff throughout the day. Still hasnt reached out or contacted me personally. Social media is confusing in the dating world.

 

Unless someone tells you in very clear words and actions what they want and think... never assume anything and you will be happy.

I respect those guys more who tell me directly they want to sleep with me than these kind of morons who go in circles and keep u wondering.

U need to throw him out of your life. Now.

[losangelena]

Can you block him? Tell him to leave you alone? Social media only confuses things if you let it. What do you want to do?

[lovesickgirl]

at the moment, ignoring him is what is best.

 

I find myself mopping around and being unmotivated to do anything

over someone I have only met twice. I guess you can say I really believed

I had a connection with him and very hurt that he could become so bitter

and cold towards me. I miss his phone calls but I also know I shouldnt waste

my energy on someone who will not give me theres.

 

Was it wrong of me to politely ask who the other girl was? What if she really was a friend and I came across crazy. I guess you can say I feel partial to blame why he pushed me away.

Edited December 10, 2015 by lovesickgirl

[No_Go]

NO it wasn't wrong. From everything that you described about this jerk I bet money he slept with her.

 

He's gas lighting you, manipulating you, making YOU feel guilty, and probably keeping you warm for another ONS if his other prospect fails.

 

My blood boils while reading his messages - he wins the LS award for a jerk of the month

 

at the moment, ignoring him is what is best.

 

I find myself mopping around and being unmotivated to do anything

over someone I have only met twice. I guess you can say I really believed

I had a connection with him and very hurt that he could become so bitter

and cold towards me. I miss his phone calls but I also know I shouldnt waste

my energy on someone who will not give me theres.

 

Was it wrong of me to politely ask who the other girl was? What if she really was a friend and I came across crazy. I guess you can say I feel partial to blame why he pushed me away.

[losangelena]

at the moment, ignoring him is what is best.

 

I find myself mopping around and being unmotivated to do anything

over someone I have only met twice. I guess you can say I really believed

I had a connection with him and very hurt that he could become so bitter

and cold towards me. I miss his phone calls but I also know I shouldnt waste

my energy on someone who will not give me theres.

 

Was it wrong of me to politely ask who the other girl was? What if she really was a friend and I came across crazy. I guess you can say I feel partial to blame why he pushed me away.

 

I agree with No_Go that you're not in the wrong for asking questions. Don't ever let anyone tell you that that's a bad thing.

 

I understand feeling disappointed or low, but really ... whenever you feel like that, remind yourself of the last thing he told you. Print that sh*t out or write it down somewhere and read it everyday. Next time he hits you up just quote it back to him and hang up.

 

I'd be so irritated and hurt by his messages that there would be no second chance.

[lovesickgirl]

Thank you, I found some comfort and what you guys had to say.

 

I'll give you the break down of last weekend.

 

He calls me the night before to tell me hes going to a local concert with some friends and wanted to call me tomorrow before he went out. Told me he'd be dreaming about me.

 

Calls me before the concert, nothing out of the ordinary but also doesnt mention which friends at all but at the time I didnt question it.

 

11pm, open snapchat story to see a video compilation of the girl who lives in Vegas (him in LA) drinking with him. Just the two of them.

 

I call him at 3am and he picks up, briefly talks to me and lets me go. I started feeling better cause why would he pick up if hes with her on a date?

 

Next day, She posts a very "non friend" cozy pic of the two of them, her friends commenting "yes!! :love:" "whos the new bf?"

He comments on the photo "the weddings next week"

 

I called him, asking who she was, if they were friends...or more? and if it was the same girl he met in vegas (even though I already knew it was)

 

Said he didnt have to explain himself but NO theyre not hooking up, theyre just friends and shes friends with mutual friends.

 

next evening he didnt call, I view his snapchat around 12am and its a video of him setting up his xmas tree with a girl's voice in the back ground "how do you turn the tree lights on???"

 

I asked him to call me and I missed him but he refused, kept saying he was busy with work etc but I knew better.

 

Sunday-Monday night those text messages came flooding in from my previous posts and now I am here.

Edited December 11, 2015 by lovesickgirl

[losangelena]

Thank you, I found some comfort and what you guys had to say.

 

I'll give you the break down of last weekend.

 

He calls me the night before to tell me hes going to a local concert with some friends and wanted to call me tomorrow before he went out. Told me he'd be dreaming about me.

 

Calls me before the concert, nothing out of the ordinary but also doesnt mention which friends at all but at the time I didnt question it.

 

11pm, open snapchat story to see a video compilation of the girl who lives in Vegas (him in LA) drinking with him. Just the two of them.

 

I call him at 3am and he picks up, briefly talks to me and lets me go. I started feeling better cause why would he pick up if hes with her on a date?

 

Next day, She posts a very "non friend" cozy pic of the two of them, her friends commenting "yes!! :love:" "whos the new bf?"

He comments on the photo "the weddings next week"

 

I called him, asking who she was, if they were friends...or more? and if it was the same girl he met in vegas (even though I already knew it was)

 

Said he didnt have to explain himself but NO theyre not hooking up, theyre just friends and shes friends with mutual friends.

 

next evening he didnt call, I view his snapchat around 12am and its a video of him setting up his xmas tree with a girl's voice in the back ground "how do you turn the tree lights on???"

 

I asked him to call me and I missed him but he refused, kept saying he was busy with work etc but I knew better.

 

Sunday-Monday night those text messages came flooding in from my previous posts and now I am here.

 

OK. This doesn't change anything about what he said to you. If anything it makes it worse because it's not like you did anything to provoke such a defensive/bullsh*tty reaction from him.

 

Are you hoping someone here says give him a second chance?

[AndOrchid]

What he said and the way he said it was rude but I can see his point.

 

This is someone you have met only twice, correct? He is not your boyfriend, there is no relationship and no exclusivity. You are just getting to know each other and the fact that you have already hooked up sends the message that you are okay with something casual.

 

I think the two of you just have different expectations about this. From his point of view, he doesn't owe you anything at this point and he feels pressure because you're acting like his girlfriend (calling him (at 3am?), questioning him about other girls, and being upset when he doesn't make time to talk to you).

 

I think you should let this one go. You are looking for different things and you are already too invested.

[katiegrl]

OK. This doesn't change anything about what he said to you. If anything it makes it worse because it's not like you did anything to provoke such a defensive/bullsh*tty reaction from him.

 

Are you hoping someone here says give him a second chance?

 

Does he even want a second chance?

 

I get the feeling he's just messin with her.

[losangelena]

Does he even want a second chance?

 

I get the feeling he's just messin with her.

 

Oh, I have no idea. I just think that instead of spending her time wondering what he's thinking, OP should figure out what she's thinking and act accordingly.

 

He rudely tells her to step off three days ago and now he's snapchatting her mundane BS? It sounds like he's fishing.

 

I just don't want their meet cute story and supposed connection and thoughts of, "maybe he still likes me" to dissuade OP from remembering how disrespectful he was to her and how cowardly he's being now. She doesn't need for him to cut things off completely before she decides to jettison him from her life. She can do that proactively if she wants. And IMHO, she should.

[Versacehottie]

What he said and the way he said it was rude but I can see his point.

 

This is someone you have met only twice, correct? He is not your boyfriend, there is no relationship and no exclusivity. You are just getting to know each other and the fact that you have already hooked up sends the message that you are okay with something casual.

 

I think the two of you just have different expectations about this. From his point of view, he doesn't owe you anything at this point and he feels pressure because you're acting like his girlfriend (calling him (at 3am?), questioning him about other girls, and being upset when he doesn't make time to talk to you).

 

I think you should let this one go. You are looking for different things and you are already too invested.

 

I agree. I think he's rude and probably just exposed himself for a bunch of stuff that would have come out over a longer period of time--so be grateful you found out now. Pretty disrespectful how he spoke to you. That said, I do think OP misread the situation and was expecting too much. As soon as he started acting squirmy about the Tahoe part, she should have known they were not on same page. And after only two times with each other, I think he has a point. I was cringing at all the stuff about the other LV girl. Sure he's a jerk--and probably seeing her as well. But no exclusivity had been discussed at all (right?) so maybe it would be smart to stay off his social media and let your own relationship develop as it would have (People sometimes start out multi-dating but end up with the love of their lives) OR use the stuff you are finding on social media to inform your decisions about him: he's dishonest, he dates others and I'm not cool with that and so I'm going to let this one go and count myself lucky for having discovered it.

 

I actually think he is either combative, OP drove him to his limit or that he actually has feelings for her in his immature way, which is why he texted. Otherwise he would have just ignored if he wasn't going to see her at all again. The exchange was pretty caustic and would tell most girls all they need to know--if this is how he handles your first disagreement, imagine the others. I think it's too far gone now and he is just taunting you with the new snapchats or trying to re-engage as some sort of ego boost. He sounds like bad news and OP sounds like she expected too much or relationship type behavior from him too soon.

[lovesickgirl]

LAST UPDATE*********

 

So this morning I logged into my snapchat account and viewed LA's snap story (it's a public collaboration of videos that can be viewed by any one of his followers or friends) and saw a WHOLE story line of him on a date with Vegas. Heart emojis, her dancing on him, them eating sushi.

 

I blocked him on ALL social media.

 

I guess that's why they call it a women's intuition. I just knew in the back of my mind all along they were not friends. I can move on now, I have the closure I needed...at least I can say I am getting quicker and better about noticing these types of guys and behavior.

 

Thanks for all the support everyone.

Edited December 11, 2015 by lovesickgirl