DrReplyInRhymes Posted November 10, 2015 Share Posted November 10, 2015 "If you go with him, you will lose me" My sentiment. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NoLeafClover Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 It really doesn't matter what you do at this point. She is going to have sex with this guy and then, when she gets home, tell you that she "met someone" and it's time for the two of you to part ways. I hope I'm wrong, I really do. It's just that I rarely am when it comes to cheating. No she will come back saying sorry and nothing ever happened while she went and bonned the guy on the hush hush.. Like that song says " this h"*es ain't loyal" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 No matter what you do, she will be traveling with this guy in an RV. Unfortunately, she wasn't asking you, but telling you in the form of a question. Think about it, for a moment! 1 - She wants to go exploring and starts by traveling ALONE. 2 - At the end of her journey she feels the need to travel with someone else? 3 - Why couldn't she find a female to travel with in the RV instead, why does it have to be a [single] guy? 4 - And, why does she insist on this RV, even though you disapprove? Why not say, okay and just take a bus?? I'll tell you why! There is more to the story than she is letting on to and she is physically lonely. Not only that, but she probably met this guy prior and found some interest in him. Believe me, any other person in this situation with a clear head would just take the damn bus. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
xUnknown Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 "If you go with him, you will lose me" I 100% agree with saying that. The only thing is - at this point, you've lost her already. We both know she'll be upset and resent you if you don't let her go. At this point all you can do is let her go. The difference is, if you wait around or not. What I think you should do -- Seriously, please consider doing this,it will only show you (and her) how big your balls actually are -- tell her its okay to go on the trip. She'll be estatic "I love you, thank you, I'm sorry but thank you for understanding". Don't feed into her bs. 2 days after she leaves, move her stuff out of your place. You can either get it out of your place, doesn't matter where or all boxed up in the garage or move it to a storage place. "Here is the storage container for all your ****. <Snap a picture and send it to her>. I'm out". Maybe also throw in a line about how by the time her 1 month trip has ended the storage container will need another payment. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TexasMan68 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Maybe she's tired of an 8 yr long BF/GF relationship and has met someone that is ready to make a more serious commitment to her. Thats a long time to "date" or did you start calling each other BF/GF when you guys were 12? Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 Travelling one on one with a guy she's known for such a short time doesn't make sense. It's not a sensible thing to do. It's also extremely disrespectful to even pose the question. Unless the guy is gay...something will happen. Even if there's nothing happening now. It's too close for something not to happen. In your position...I'd be saying.... "I'm not okay with it and if you go...consider our relationship over and I'm free and single to do as I please". Don't accept this nonsense. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 I had a similar situation in college...not so much in traveling with a guy but on my birthday, my GF received a call from her GF telling her the guys (a group of the soccer team) wanted to take them out for pizza. This was during my birthday celebration mind you. She covered the phone and asked me if I minded...... I told her that by asking me "if I minded if she went" she was showing me where she wanted to be (with the soccer team). We broke up the next day and rightfully so. I never want to have someone WITH me that would prefer to be with someone or somewhere else. I deserved to be the first choice and so do you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 ?The guy speaks the same language as she does and lives about 1.5 hours from our home." Once you have decided to let this one go....pack her things, ask her what his address is so you can ship her s..t to his place. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cant_Get_Right Posted November 11, 2015 Share Posted November 11, 2015 She has obviously known him for a bit to trust traveling with him. Also, I'm guessing you will fund their little trip together since she is not working? Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Too bad OP left - I was curious as to how this turned out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 I get that she doesn't want to travel alone, and having a man around I feel is way better that just two girls for safety reasons. I would encourage her to invite along a couple of more girls to the mix...I'm sure there will be no shortage of volunteers at one of the hostels...safety in numbers. We're talking about Australia, not India or Thailand. It's one of the safest places for solo travelers, and it's extremely unlikely that two women who travel together and take reasonable precautions will come to harm. If she is so risk-averse that she can't even handle that risk, she shouldn't be traveling alone while in a relationship. The solution is certainly NOT to travel with another dude! Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 (edited) We're talking about Australia, not India or Thailand. It's one of the safest places for solo travelers, and it's extremely unlikely that two women who travel together and take reasonable precautions will come to harm. If she is so risk-averse that she can't even handle that risk, she shouldn't be traveling alone while in a relationship. The solution is certainly NOT to travel with another dude! Continuing to beat this dead, silent horse: does anyone really think she's not having or will have sex with the guy? Could any woman be so naive as to think that agreeing to travel for a month with some guy - just you and him - in an RV doesn't mean that you're going to be sleeping with that guy the whole time? An exception could (probably?) be made here if she knew that he was gay. Maybe. Edited November 12, 2015 by drifter777 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 We're talking about Australia, not India or Thailand. It's one of the safest places for solo travelers, and it's extremely unlikely that two women who travel together and take reasonable precautions will come to harm. If she is so risk-averse that she can't even handle that risk, she shouldn't be traveling alone while in a relationship. The solution is certainly NOT to travel with another dude! I don't know about it being the safest place for solo travel ....do you recall Ivan Milat who targeted backpackers. He was a serial killer out there. And why would this guy sleep in a tent....risking his life to dingos and other wild animals. Even if one had the intent to be faithful. ..if the guy was half way attractive, I think many females in that position would find it hard to resist him making a move. It's too tempting a situation. OP - Let us know how it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 (edited) I don't know about it being the safest place for solo travel ....do you recall Ivan Milat who targeted backpackers. He was a serial killer out there. Well, there is no country with zero murder and rape - it's a relative thing. There is always risk, but some places are safer than others, and of course you have to take reasonable precautions. Frankly I think staying in a RV with a guy you just met is one of the LEAST safe things a woman could do, unless you're in a country where traveling without a male escort is extremely dangerous (mostly just Middle Eastern and a few Asian countries). Traveling by bus with other people and staying in a decent hostel in Australia is relatively one of the safest travel options out there. So I'm not buying the 'she has to travel with a guy cause it's safer!" argument. Edited November 12, 2015 by Elswyth 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 You sound like a sweet a guy that she is taking for granted. I would just tell her what others have suggested: If you go, I am done. And then really be done. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 After she quit she asked me if I would be ok with her going to Australia for 3 Months, alone. 2 months school, 1 month traveling from Cairns to Sydney. Now she is in Cairns, living with a host family, going to school, going out, having a good time. But now there is this one guy who apparently wants to head for Sydney as well. The guy speaks the same language as she does and lives about 1.5 hours from our home. She asks me if it would be ok if they rent a RV (Camper) together and travel to Sydney. She quits her job, plans a 3 month trip alone to Australia that you are not invited to go on with her, wants to spend a month traveling in an RV with a single guy that speaks the same language as her and happens to live only 1.5 hours from your home, and you think that she did not plan this trip with him months prior to her going to Australia? Do you really think that the other guy that lives near you just happened to plan a trip that far, for that long, at the same time as her, is just a coincidence? The best part for her is after spending so much time alone together, how could you object to them (now that they are best friends) continuing to see each other when they get back? This whole thing was a setup that was planned by them in advance, with you footing at least some of the bill. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Hmmmmmm where's Ben87? Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Hmmmmmm where's Ben87? Finding a girl that can keep her legs closed and knows what these new fangled things called "respect" and "self respect" are. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 (edited) Given the fact that she stated that she just HAPPENED to meet a guy down there that speaks the same language as her and he just HAPPENS to live about an hour away from her back in her home country. Just think about that, what are the odds of running into someone in an entirely different country; hell, and entirely different continent that lives a little more than an hour from your home of record? I have a feeling that she TOLD you that she was going to travel down there alone. But, I have a feeling that she flew down there to meet up this guy. One easy thing to check on. Look at her Facebook page and see if this guy is listed in her friends list. If he's there, chances are they knew each other before this Australia trip. Trust me, I have traveled a LOT and I have RARELY seen a girl traveling alone. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen, it just doesn't happen that often. That is, if the OP ever comes back. Edited November 12, 2015 by Chi townD 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Well like I said he's off to find someone with self respect so...we might discover that life exists on other planets before we hear from him. Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 The odds are low, but it does happen. I was in the Auckland, NZ airport one day on my way back from Australia. Saw a guy across the terminal and was having that feeling he looks like someone I know. Well, it was a guy I had worked with at NASA! We were on the same flight back to LA, then the northeast USA. Quite unbelievable, but Ben here is in a bad spot. Maybe he went off to Australia to set things right. Given the fact that she stated that she just HAPPENED to meet a guy down there that speaks the same language as her and he just HAPPENS to live about an hour away from her back in her home country. Just think about that, what are the odds of running into someone in an entirely different country; hell, and entirely different continent that lives a little more than an hour from your home of record? I have a feeling that she TOLD you that she was going to travel down there alone. But, I have a feeling that she flew down there to meet up this guy. One easy thing to check on. Look at her Facebook page and see if this guy is listed in her friends list. If he's there, chances are they knew each other before this Australia trip. Trust me, I have traveled a LOT and I have RARELY seen a girl traveling alone. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen, it just doesn't happen that often. That is, if the OP ever comes back. Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 I totally agree with Chi Town....bet this was planned all along. Not too far fetched that they even booked the trip together and flew together to the destination. Wow....wouldn't that be the scam of the year, hope OP is alert enough to consider this..... OP????? Are you still out there? Link to post Share on other sites
bubbaganoosh Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 She already told you that she wouldn't be happy with you doing what she's doing with another girl but seems OK when it comes to her. To me that smacks of disrespect. Rules to follow for you but none for her. If it's me, I tell her to have a good time and keep on traveling but when it's time to come home, don't bother stopping by because there will be nothing there for her. It's just unfair for her to do this knowing that your not happy with it and that to me is a slap in the face. Let her go and don't bother answering any texts or phone calls. This is what she wanted then she has it but without you. Link to post Share on other sites
qubist Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 Given the fact that she stated that she just HAPPENED to meet a guy down there that speaks the same language as her and he just HAPPENS to live about an hour away from her back in her home country. Just think about that, what are the odds of running into someone in an entirely different country; hell, and entirely different continent that lives a little more than an hour from your home of record? . Surprise surprise!!! In addition to all the coincidences you mentioned this guy happens to be willing to take a month long trip. mmmmmmmm I would be shocked if the whole thing was planned. With that being said, what can the OP do? In my opinion nothing. She is still trying to convince him so, the possibilities are: 1 she is testing the waters with this guy and keeping the OP in the back burner just in case the new guy is not long term material. 2 she already knows the new guy isn't a R material and just wants to have fun for few months then, in her mind, as long as OP doesn't know it would be fine. 3 we are all wrong, all these are just coincidences. But she still has to be immature and naive to think this guy will have no sexual intrest. Am I missing any other possibility? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted November 12, 2015 Share Posted November 12, 2015 I agree, also he happens to be on holiday for the same amount of time going to the same locations on top of everything else? That is WAY TOO many coincidences. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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